Vacant (Empathy #3) (11 page)

I’M ROCKING LIKE A CHILD on the bathroom floor, staring at the wall. I can’t move. I’ve been here for hours. The blood is congealed and sticky all around me, my clothes are like a second skin and I’m freezing. I wish it would make me numb. It’s only when I feel vibrating against my leg that I come back to life, reaching inside my shorts pocket to find my phone with a sheen of blood over it.

“Hello.” My voice is hoarse.

“Cereus?”

“Dad.” My voice breaks

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Daddy,” I whisper. “I need you to help me get rid of Tom.”

I’m not making sense. I’m not even sure what I mean but I know I need this to go away. It’s just a bad dream and my dad will make things all better.

“What? Who’s Tom? Is he harassing you?”

“He’s dead.”

“Cereus, you’re scaring the shit out of me, baby, and not making much sense.”

“I killed him, Daddy. He’s dead behind me.”

Silence and then, “Where are you?”

“In my bathroom. I can’t get up, there’s too much blood.”

His intake of breath is audible down the line and my hand begins to shake again. “Daddy!” I plead.

“Baby, I’m coming right now. Don’t leave your dorm room, okay? Cereus, tell me you won’t leave”

“I can’t leave. The blood won’t let me,” I whisper.

I end the call to him shouting for me not to hang up. I know it will take him a couple of hours to get here but my stomach is convulsing so I have to move; I need to be sick. Moving into a sitting position I laugh then cry when I see there’s not one part of my skin that isn’t red. My head is all mixed up and I can’t grasp onto anything real. My stomach jolts and I move to the toilet and heave into it, bringing up watery bile. Getting to my feet I peel the fabric from my skin and drop it to the floor, turning the taps on to the shower. I step in under its spray, collapsing to the floor, hypnotized by the swirling rouge liquid draining away with my soul, if I ever had one. No one can create a river of blood and still own their soul, can they?

Steam billows all around me, obscuring my view like a shield. If I don’t see it, does it mean it didn’t happen?

“Cereus?” Ryan’s voice calls to me over the fall of the water. It’s stronger than usual, more solid. Is this my penance? Will I have to live with him, but only the version conjured up by a sick, broken girl? The shower door opens and a silhouette stands over my small frame which is curled into the corner.

Tom? Oh my God, is he alive?

The steam clouds over him and I flinch when he lowers himself so he’s in line with me.

Ryan?

His dark features pierce me and I choke on a sob. “Oh my God, are you really here?”

His arms open and I fly into them like a magnetic force is pulling me. An overwhelming calm floods through me. The power he holds over my soul is immeasurable. I’m home in his embrace.

“I killed him, Ryan. They’re going to put me away like they did you.”

“Shh, it’s okay now.” The warmth of his touch seeps into my skin, soothing the worry.

“Are you really here? Everything has been so muddled.”

Everything in life is temporary, Cereus. Everything but us. I will always come for you.”

“I think I killed Hannah too. I keep dreaming of her dying.”

“You didn’t kill anyone, shh.”

He scoops me up and carefully carries me from the bathroom, closing the door behind us. The chill in my room sends shivers through me, prickling my flesh in tiny bumps. I’m lowered to my feet, standing bare and the most vulnerable yet more whole then I’ve felt in my entire life. I’m tumbling into the abyss. I’m not even sure if Ryan is really here; this could all be in my head. His palm strokes over my cheeks with a tenderness that makes me want to curl into him and never leave the safety of his aura.

“Where did this bruise come from?” he asks, the pad of his thumb brushing over the sensitive area.

“Tom. He hit me and . . .” I shake my head trying to clear the fog to recall the memory of what happened. Ryan looks over my naked frame for more bruises. I don’t blush under his observation despite being completely bare.

“I need you to put some clothes on. I need to get you out of here.”

“Okay,” I murmur.

I SHOULDN’T HAVE LEFT HER. To see her in such a fragile state of mind is unsettling. Her body relaxes into mine, turning almost to liquid. She knows we belong together. We fill the emptiness inside each other, silencing the voices but not the craving. She’s more like me than I could have ever imagined, she needs me to take her hand and guide her, to take care of her. Soul mates are not supposed to tame each other, they’re meant to set you free to run wild in your nature, to be who you are together. I look around the room but decide against taking any of her things, we can buy her new.

“I’m ready,” she whispers. Her eyes keep darting to the bathroom door. I clasp her hand in mine and pull her towards the exit, but before we get there it opens and Blake appears, his mouth dropping open before he closes the door and draws his gun, pointing it at me.

“Step away from her,” he commands.

You’d think he would have learned by now that I don’t jump to his orders. Cereus cushions herself against my back, peeking around my arm. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. Everything is going to be okay,” he reassures her. His eyes come back to mine. “How are you even here? We thought you died in that fire.”

I tut and tilt my head to examine him. There’s shock in his watery gaze. His collapsed brow and tight jaw tell me this but it’s not from me still breathing.

“You know deep down that I didn’t perish in that fire, brother. You would have felt it here.” I thump my chest.

“Why are you here?” he growls, making Cereus flinch. She’s not scared of him but rather what he may do to me, and the last time he pulled a gun I disappeared into an inferno and didn’t resurface in her world for over a year.

“I’m leaving and taking Cereus with me.” I’m not going to lie or beat around the bush; time is of the essence. His laugh raises my hackles and I send him an icy glare.

“Eye kill me all you want, Ryan, because it will only be over my dead body that you leave this room with my daughter.”

“That would be a very unfortunate way to leave, but not one I’m incapable of. Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?” I smirk.

He steps closer, the gun unflinching in his steady aim. “It’s because of who you are that you’re not going anywhere. There are police all over this campus. How far do you think you can get?”

Cereus’ warmth leaves me and I turn to see panic flood her features. Her eyes are unfocused and glassy, her skin pale with a light spray of sweat. “They’re here for me. They know what I did.”

“Calm down, baby. They’re not here for you, I promise. Tell me what happened.”

“I . . .”

“I killed him, Cereus,” I say, interrupting her confession. “I walked in and caught him hitting her. I killed him and left to check the surroundings to see if there was a way to get his body out of here. Cereus must have passed out. She came to before I got back and assumed . . .” I shrug, looking between the two.

A sob rips from her chest and Blake puts his gun away and goes to her, wrapping her in his embrace. It bothers me that he’s giving her comfort. She doesn’t need him, she needs me. I’d snap his neck if I didn’t get a twist in my gut at the thought of him being gone forever. I refuse to believe it’s from anything other than me wanting to play with him again at some point. I smirk and then bring myself back to the moment. Blake has ushered Cereus to sit on her bed. He leaves her there and goes to the bathroom door, cracking it open and peering inside before closing it again.

“I didn’t kill him. I should have known it was you protecting me. Wait, what about Hannah?”

Blake stands before her, dropping to his knees and taking her hands in his. “Listen, Hannah is going to be fine. Now I need you to be brave for me and without stopping, go and get in my car and wait for me. Can you do that?”

He’s talking to her like she’s a child. She doesn’t need his victim voice.

“What about Ryan?”

Blake glares up at me, his jaw ticking with anger.

“Cereus, I’m coming too. I won’t leave you now. I need to help your dad clean up a little here, so go to his car and wait.”

She inhales and a small smile graces her lips as she looks between us. “Okay, good.”

Blake helps her into her coat and looks down the corridor to make sure it’s clear before telling her to hurry.

His attention turns to me. “What the fuck happened in here, Ryan?”

“I told you.”

He goes back to the bathroom, looks inside again, and then turns to me. “How did you do it?”

The average human body holds 1.5 gallons of blood. The mess in there was a knife wound, had to be. I grab the knife I keep in the back of my jeans, un-sheathing it from the leather cover. I hold it up and grin. “I cut his throat.”

I point the knife in his direction and his eyes widen and flash with hate. His pupils enlarge and he snarls at me, doing some flip shit with my wrist like Cereus did all that time ago in my kitchen. I’m shoved backwards and a fierce pain pierces my shoulder. Blake’s forearm holds me across the throat while my own blade pins me to the wall through the muscle and tissue of my shoulder.