Vacant (Empathy #3) (6 page)

“Hello? I’m coming, I’ve only been gone a half hour, Hannah.”

I hear her shrieking down the line at him. Rolling my eyes, I pull the band from my hair and shake out my locks so they cascade around my shoulders. I want to snatch the phone away and shout at her but Tom looking at me, licking his bottom lip, sends my darker self into overdrive. Fuck her, fuck Ryan, fuck rumors. Let’s give them merit if everyone is going to believe them anyway. Hmm, fuck. I like that word.

He hangs up the call and shakes his head in disappointment, his lip turning down at the corners. “I need to go. She’s having a meltdown.”

I grip the bottom of my top and brazenly lift it from my body and over my head, dropping it to the floor. Goosebumps sprinkle my skin and Tom’s mouth falls open.

“Or you could stay and make me melt?” I say with the most seductive voice I can muster. He looks between my exposed breasts and the door, so I slip my fingers into my shorts and push them down my legs until they drop and pool at my feet, leaving me bare and vulnerable to him, and to give him the little incentive he needs to stay.

I swim, work out, and eat right so I know my body is in good shape. I have my mother’s boobs which gain us both unwanted attention, but right now, I want to feel connected to someone, anyone. I want to fit in and do what normal girls and boys do at my age, and if it means keeping him from Hannah, then bonus.

“Fuck me,” he breathes taking me in.

“I thought that was my line,” I whisper, shocking myself. Where has this woman come from? I’m a virgin and I’ve never had a real boyfriend yet I’m not nervous or scared. I don’t care at all and I know that’s not normal.

He eats up the space between us, stripping off his clothes. His body crashes into mine, knocking me backwards onto the bed. His skin is hot and the feeling of being connected is nice in a sticky, sweaty way. His tongue dives into my mouth and touches every inch of it. He’s acting like a man starved and I’m the first food offered. His hands are all over me, grasping at my breasts, face and stomach.

“God, you’re so freaking hot, Cereus. Oh man, I can’t believe I’m touching you,” he pants between kissing my lips and moving down to my chest. His lips close over my sensitive nipple, making me jolt. Tingles shoot through my body making me grind against him. I need something but I’m unsure of what. His knee nudges my legs to part and his hard cock pushes against my pussy through the boxer shorts he’s still wearing. It’s pleasant, relieving an ache building there.

“Condom?” he breathes against my stomach, dusting me in his hot breath. I don’t own condoms, never really thought about it. I shake my head and he laughs, jumping up, leaving me chilled and alone on the bed. He rummages through his jeans and pulls out his wallet, tugging a condom free. Dropping his shorts, his cock springs forward, tall and proud. I gulp and have to ask myself if I can actually go through with this.

“I
T’S JUST TWO BODIES JOINING FOR A RELEASE. HE’S UNWORTHY OF IT, CEREUS. COME FIND ME SO WE CAN INDULGE IN WHAT YOU REALLY CRAVE. THIS ISN’T IT.”

Ryan’s voice taunts me. Tom covers my body again, bringing me back to the moment.

“I’ll fuck you real good, Cereus,” he says, and pushes into me. I bite into my lip when the pressure becomes too much. A burning and stinging follows and I want to bite the crap out of him, tear into his flesh and make him whimper. This doesn’t feel good, it hurts like hell and he doesn’t seem to notice or care that I’m uncomfortable. Pain doesn’t bother me but the fact I’m not enjoying any of it makes it seem pointless. I want to know what the fuss is about. I want to be normal and have casual sex. Granted, it’s to get back at a hateful bitch but still, I’m allowed to do that if I want but I at least wanted to get off, enjoy the moment. His thrusts become frantic and the look on his face indicates pain. He forces his eyes closed and his features scrunch up. Sweat is beading on his forehead; he’s pumping into me ten to the dozen. Is this what sex is? A race to see how many hip thrusts he can do before he comes? Urgh, I expected more from him. Hannah’s so possessive of him and doesn’t want anyone else to have him, I thought he must have magic sexual powers or a super dick with its own cape but nope, this is awful. The stinging gets worse as my lack of enjoyment grows.

“You’re so fucking tight it’s hard not to come.”

He keeps panting, and I want to scream, “Come already,” but I want to keep him here longer so he isn’t there with her, where she needs him to be. My eyes close and I pull up a memory of Ryan shirtless in his apartment, his hand stroking my cheek and making me confused by the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I rake my nails down Tom’s back, making him hiss. I move my body against his, grabbing his hips to slow his movements.

“Y
OU’RE MORE WRONG THEN I WILL EVER BE, CEREUS.”

Ryan’s words soothe me. I don’t care that they aren’t real. I can do whatever I want, think whatever I want. In my mind no one has to know. I can be free.

I imagine another place, another time, and another person. My mind gives me what I need and my body tries to do the rest. I feel a tension building low in my stomach and heating my body. My mouth opens to moan but before I can reach any sort of release, it’s over. Tom’s body slumps on top of mine, his labored breathing blowing hot air into my ear.

“Oh shit. You’re so fucking hot.” Does that flatter Hannah when he coos the same crap in her ear?

I push at his chest, aiding him to roll off me and onto the mattress. I sit up, cringing when I notice the blood on the sheets, and I act quickly to cover it so he can’t see what I just gave him. He’s still panting, trying to bring his breathing under control when he slips the condom off and ties a knot in the top then throws it at my trashcan next to my bed. It drops on the floor . . . gross. Pulling me down on top of him and pinning me against his sweat-covered chest, he groans into my hair. “I just need five minutes.” He’s asleep in one.

I pull myself free and grab his phone that’s flashing on the floor. It’s a text from Hannah.

Where are you? I need you here!

I’m not one for being a spiteful bitch. Okay, maybe sleeping with her boyfriend makes me one but I hate those females who need validation by being a horrible malicious bully, and I’m also tired of being a victim of one. Ryan would kick my ass and kill hers if he knew how weak I’m being. I shouldn’t think that way or care what he would think but I do. It’s the only thing I care about. He occupies my mind in my sleeping hours and my waking ones. The ache from not being around him is becoming an entity within itself. A dark vindictive one, and I like it. Clicking on the camera, I sit on the bed next to Tom, wrapping my sheet around my body and leaving his completely naked. With his flaccid cock spent and in full view of the lens, I plaster a smile on my lips and click a selfie, with him as my background.

Sorry, I wore him out! Might want to call someone who actually cares!

I hit send and forward it to myself also, and then silence his phone. After taking the longest shower of the day I slip into some sweats so I can go for a run. There’s no way I can sleep in my bed with him in it. I’m sore and disappointed with him, but mainly disappointed with myself for sinking to Hannah’s level and letting Tom inside me. A shudder snakes through me and I wish I could call Stacey so I can ask her if what I’m feeling is normal for a girl my age, but I haven’t spoken to her in over a year so that’s out of the question. It’s now five am. I love this time of morning when the world is so quiet, the sky still dark but with a hint of light crawling up from behind, threatening us with the daylight that will eventually follow.

SARAH, IN ALL HER MOUSY glory, welcomed me when I turned up at Joseph’s firm, claiming to be new to the area and looking for an accounting company that could handle a huge business account. Her smile is a little too wide for her petite face but other than that she is a million times better looking than Margaret; age alone sets them apart. But it’s the kind nature oozing from this one that almost gives me a stomach ache. She’s all too accommodating, offering me a tour and lunch. She offered to call the owner, Mr. Steller, to arrange a time to come in when he’s back in the office but I told her not to and gave her my best smile that made her cheeks flush bright red. This was going to be too easy. My plan is in motion, now to let it all play out and then answer the nagging pull inside me to go and see Cereus, even from afar. I need to satisfy this craving.

It’s now seven pm and Joseph is due home. I pop the cork on Margaret’s favorite wine and tip the sleeping pills I snagged from inside her vanity unit over the counter before hiding in the shadows of the doorway to see if Joseph has it in him. My insides are buzzing and I’m almost high on the idea alone.

“Margaret!” he calls out when he walks into the kitchen and sees the wine and pills. He places his keys on the counter and calls for her a second time but she won’t answer. His eyes are glued to the bottle and pills, his hands are shaking. Mmm, it’s all too appetizing.

My inner voice urges him on as the minutes tick by. Dammit, he needs a little push. I walk in and startle him with my presence. “How was golf?”

“Good. How was your day?” He still hasn’t moved from the counter.

“It was interesting. I came home to Margaret and that gardener. She didn’t even try to hide it.” I shake my head at him in pity. “I only went in there because I thought she was in pain.” I shrug, wincing.

Joseph’s eyes widen. “In where?” I drop my eyes to the floor. “In my fucking bedroom?”

I have to train my face not to smile at his cuss; it’s so unlike him.

“I hate her. I hate her so freaking much.” His eyes are back on the pills and that’s my cue to leave him to grow some balls.

“I’m sorry.” I pat him on the shoulder and leave him to it.

I watch him battle with his moral compass but all evil begins in innocence, and if you give it just an inkling of a dark thought it corrupts you until you’re doing the devil’s work. I relish in his corruption as he begins crushing the pills and pouring them into the wine. He swishes the contents and then leaves the house. The alarm beeps on his car and then the sound of his tires burning the asphalt rings out.