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Jensen covered his microphone with one hand and turned to address Cael’s question. I couldn’t hear a word he said, but Cael’s face hardened with anger, a security guard came to stand beside him, and he sat down. When his eyes turned toward me, I looked away.

I cleared my throat. “I'm not familiar with blocking. I can tell when someone is about to use, but I don't know if I can block them.”

“I have faith in your abilities, Iggy,” he told me. “And besides, the purpose of a test is to gauge exactly what you're able to do or not do. If you can't block them, then we'll know for certain exactly what you
can't
do.” He paused, and then, “Students, rest assured I am not asking you to hurt Miss Bennefield. I just want you to use low-key power. In turn, she will not seriously harm you in defense of herself. Is that clear?” He pressed some buttons on the control panel. “Miss Bennefield. Turn and face the students.”

Low-key power? Low-key for some of these guys would still mean pain and injury for me. I inhaled deeply, squared my shoulders, and turned around. At first, I kept my eyes trained above their heads while the bright, fluorescent lamps glared down on us. I didn’t want to see their expressions, and I didn’t want to show weakness in front of them. No doubt many of them would throw as little power as possible, but a few of them might actually try to hurt me. I worried that Alex might have me screaming in panic like she’d done to Pippa. But avoiding looking at them wouldn't help me defend myself, so I squeezed my fingers into fists and made eye contact with each one of them. Some faces held sympathy. Wesley showed no emotional at all. Alex wore a small smile, Gavin seemed excited, Pippa looked ready to cry, and then I didn’t have time to register any other expressions because Jensen said, “The test will begin in five…four…three…two…now.”

Every muscle in my body tensed, expecting an onslaught. I imagined bleeding out, hallucinating, dehydrating, suffocating, throwing up, going blind. But nothing happened. It was like some cruel joke. Or maybe my detection ability wasn't as good as I'd thought.

Then I felt it. A light vibration across my arms and chest. I looked left and struggled between choosing two people I knew little about other than their names: Aaliyah and Jax. I had no idea what they were capable of. But one of them was using. Then the vibration pushed harder and I pulled my power up quickly, identifying Aaliyah. What could I do to defend myself and still not hurt her? Did I send my power out toward her while she used? Was that a block? Her power against mine? Powers meeting half way and canceling each other out?

But then I felt it hit me. The room spun crazily, and I lost all sense of balance, collapsing to the ground in a heap. Just as quickly, the feeling left. I heard Alex say something and laugh.

“Perhaps you didn’t understand the instructions, Miss Bennefield.” Jensen’s voice grated across my nerves. Embarrassed but uninjured, I got to my feet and told myself to do better. If blocking meant pushing my power out to stop a power coming toward me, it would be like arm wrestling. And the person who lost was the person who broke eye contact. So I had to push stronger against them and knock them down. Cause a small seizure maybe?

This time, I felt the buzzing come on quick and strong. Gavin. I felt a push in my stomach like part of me was filling with fluid that might explode through my skin. I panicked and swelled my power quickly, pushing my intent at him. He flew backwards, landing on his back with a grunt.

I hadn’t meant to do that. It looked more like I’d hit him than controlled his leg muscles to make him collapse. At least, collapse was my intention. Flinging a person backwards wasn’t something I thought I could do. In fact, how
had
I done that? Was that muscle control? Was it similar to making the birds fly in the direction I wanted?

I looked at Pippa. She was staring at Gavin with surprise and fear. Wesley looked at me and gave me a slight nod of approval. Then Gavin got back in line, scowling at me, and I was glad he wasn’t hurt.

The next user was to my left. I felt a wave of intense nausea build before I pushed Devon to the ground. His power on me was broken, and I took several deep breaths, fighting the bile rising in my throat. I was
not
going to vomit in front of these people.

A full thirty seconds passed, and nothing happened. I was so on edge that a massive headache was building. This had to be one of Jensen’s waiting games…an attempt to take me by surprise. But then the doctor’s voice boomed over the intercom, “Pippa McMillan. You
will
participate in this test.”

She looked at me as if she wanted to hug me and cry. Jensen had a long history of punishing dissenters. Even if these people didn’t know him, Wesley and I did. I was scared he might to something bad to her or Brian. “Pippa,” I said firmly, digging a finger into the ache at my right temple. “You won’t hurt me. Just do what he asks. It’s not a big deal. I
want
you to do this. I trust you.” I stopped massaging my head and stared at her until she nodded.

Jensen announced, “The test will resume.”

I knocked down Krish and Ibram next, and I realized that feeling people’s power rising was getting easier. Then I felt an intense force rise up so quickly I nearly missed her. Alex. I actually felt her force touch my mind a split second before I sent her face planting into the ground. The other’s powers had come on easily, but she’d gone full out, and I knew I’d have to watch my back around her from now on. When she stood back up in line, her eyes told me that she wanted nothing more than to shred my mind to pieces.

Then I felt Wesley use, and the feeling was familiar, as if having identified him before had made an imprint in my mind. I pushed gently and he stumbled backwards, but he didn’t fall like the others. I thought maybe I was gaining control over my push-back. I was glad of that, because when Pippa used, I pushed her the same way as Wesley – gently, playfully. And when she got back in line, she was smiling with relief.

Then the attacks began coming faster. I was getting faster at detecting and defending, and my confidence was building. But after going through everyone four times, I was beginning to feel drained. Beads of sweat trickled down my lower back and temples, and my entire body felt shaky as if I’d overexerted my muscles. After defending against Alex’s full force again, my nose started dripping and I swiped at the blood before stopping Val and Gavin's nearly simultaneous attacks. Then I went through all thirteen of them again, and then back to several of them once more. By that time, I was breathing heavy and my skin was so sensitive, even the scrub top touching it was painful. The hair on my head aggravated my headache, and I imagined my head was a balloon filled to the popping point. There was blood in my mouth. My ears were ringing. My concentration was waning. I wanted so desperately for it to stop, but it just kept dragging on and on. I was going to get hurt because I was getting weak. That thought played through my head again and again, and I felt like I was just a matter of time before Alex had me.

Finally, Jensen called time, and I sagged with relief. He announced, “Well done, students. This was a successful test, and I appreciate your cooperation.”

I turned around to face the control room, panting and sweating. He appreciated our cooperation? Successful test? I felt like I was dying! And he was smiling and chatting with Thurmond like they were at a Christmas party. Then Jensen gave me a look of triumph that made me burning mad. I hated him. He hated me. I swear he’d just tried to kill me. And when he gave me a thumb’s up and asked if I was okay, I screamed, “Fuck you, Jensen! I hate you!”

He smiled. Smiled! “I knew you could do it, Iggy,” he told me. “I knew you were holding back on me all those years. I can’t wait to find out what else you can do.”

Enough. I'd had enough of his face, his voice, his control. I hated everything about him. For nearly half my life he’d been torturing me, making me do vile things, making me hate myself. I had tried so hard to be good to people, to care about people, to be the opposite of what Jensen was turning me into. But I hadn’t won the battle against him. I was back in the same position as before. Years later, after thinking I was finally getting my life back under control, he’d yanked my feet out from under me again. It was so unfair! Why couldn’t fate kill the bastard? Why couldn’t he get in a car accident? Plane crash? Tornado? Anything? Why didn’t the wheel come around and get him for everything he’d done to me and Wes? Hating him so thoroughly gave me a surge of adrenaline, and I pictured Jensen flying across the room and into the window of that stupid control room. And then it happened. I didn't even realize I'd done it, but Jensen hit the window in front of me.

After my initial shock, I grinned. Finally, I had him under my control. His face was contorted into a mask of pain, his cheek mashed into the window. “How do
you
like it? How do like not having control of your own life, Jensen!” I turned his head so that he faced me, his lips and nose squashed into the glass. Blood trickled from one of his nostrils, and I wiped my own bleeding nose, happy to see his injury matched mine.

Then Cael was shoved into that same window, his head smacking into it with a thunk, breaking my concentration. Three guards were pressed against his back and the tip of a gun dug into the back of his head. Thurmond stated calmly, “Ignacia. Let Dr. Jensen go or Cael will pay the price for your disobedience.”

Could I take them all down at once? Would I be fast enough to keep Cael from being shot? Could I get him out of that room? Out of here? Without getting him hurt?

I glanced around to see students gawking at me and as many MPs with guns aimed at my back. But two of the guards weren’t aiming their weapons at me, and that was the clincher. Behind me, Wesley was in a choke hold by one guard with another pointing his semi-automatic at his temple. In front of me, Cael had two weapons against his head now. I would never be able to save them both. My decision was instant. My moment of being in control was snatched away. I was so tired. I would never win.

I dropped Jensen. Then I leaned forward and retched bile and spit onto the floor. Chaos broke out as I collapsed onto my knees, blood mixing with the vomit in front of me. People shouted my name. An alarm blared. Everything hurt. My body wanted to pass out, so I gave it permission and then let my mind follow into peace.

Chapter 24

Iggy

I jerked upright at the sound of a horn and found I was in my own bed. The nighttime lights switched to bright day lamps. Memories overwhelmed me and I wondered why I was back in my room instead of in a cell or cuffs. I was going to kill Jensen. So why had things gone back to normal? Was I supposed to get ready for breakfast? Would someone shoot me as soon as I stepped into the hallway? Was this another test? Or maybe Jensen had Cael and Wesley in cuffs instead of me. Maybe he was making them pay the price for my choices.

I was overwhelmed by thirst. I sat up in bed with a pressing need to drink water. I threw my legs over the side and stumbled into the bathroom. Finding my reflection in the mirror, I cringed to see my cracked lips and patches of darkness beneath my eyes. My hair was a knotted mess, my skin was translucent pale, and my eyes were puffy. I turned on the faucet and filled my cupped hands with water. But I couldn't get the liquid down fast enough. I bent over and stuck my face in the water stream, slurping and gulping until my stomach felt bloated. Then I sat on the edge of the tub until the nausea subsided.

I needed a shower. If there was any way I was going to face this day and argue with Jensen about Wes and Cael, I needed to pull myself together. So I stood under the hot spray and wished I could just wash the tiredness away…wash away all the ugliness and disgust I felt with myself and Jensen…wash away the hate that was building up in me again. My throat tightened painfully and I felt the tears coming on.
No
. I had to be stronger than ever now. If the lives of my friends were at risk, I could not let myself be weak. I had to be ready to face anything Jensen would throw at me once I stepped out of my room.

Gradually, I began to talk myself into calm acceptance. I was thirsty again, and I opened my mouth under the spray and drank until I thought I would puke up the water. I stayed in the shower for a long time, loving the feel of the water on my body. It was as if my body soaked up the wetness and filled me with a better version of myself. My skin didn’t even prune. I must have been incredibly dehydrated. But the water made me feel better. So much better. And by the time I shut off the tub faucet, I was content. Peaceful. I wanted that peace. I could handle everything better if I was calm in my approach to facing the consequences of my actions.

I opened the bathroom door to clear out the steam, and then I wiped the condensation from the mirror. I brushed my teeth and blow dried my hair, and then I used the dryer to clear the water off the mirror while I hummed a happy tune I couldn’t remember the name of. When I saw myself again, I thought I looked remarkably healthy. My skin was clear with a tinge of pink on my cheeks. My eyes were a vibrant amber-green – no dark circles or puffiness. I felt good. Full of energy. Happy. It was all going to be okay.

I hummed a current pop tune as I put on deodorant and dressed in my usual green scrubs. I brushed out my hair until shiny blond waves haloed around my head and shoulders. And when they called us to breakfast, I felt better than I had in a long time. I’d forgotten what I’d been so mad about to begin with.