Unwritten Rules (28 page)

“J.J., what’s wrong?” She didn’t seem to hear me, so I questioned Mom, “How long has she been like this?”

Mom shrugged, checking her appearance in the

stainless steel splash-back of the stove. “She was despondent when she came downstairs earlier, but she was up late. She was talking on the phone until the weehours of the morning. I thought she was tired.”

Mom stood up, smoothing down her reindeer

sweater. She had worn it every year since I was twentythree, before that it was a snowman one. When I was smal er, both my dad and I were expected to partake in the tradition too. I was humiliated at age fourteen when my then boyfriend came by with my Christmas gift. He took one look at the musical Christmas tree cardigan and fled. He avoided me in school for the fol owing five months. After that, I refused to have anything to do with festive clothing, except the holiday fol owing my dad’s death. I wore a Christmas sweater that year, hoping to make my mom smile, but it hadn’t worked. We’d spent the whole day crying instead.

Shaking my head of the sad memories, I scraped my chair across the stone floor closer to J.J. I took the mug from her hands and placed it on the table. “J.J., what’s wrong.”

Her shoulders sagged as she exhaled noisily,

“Eli.”

I probed further as the situation started to make sense. “Was that who you were talking to last night?”

J.J. nodded. I heard Jonah stand up behind me. He kissed my cheek whispering that he wanted to cal his family before we shared gifts. He gave me an

uncomfortable, knowing smile as he left the table, not wanting to stay around and intrude on the discussion. Mom gave us privacy as wel , clearing the table and rinsing the dishes before putting them into the dishwasher.

“Did he upset you?” I asked, stroking her arm. A lone tear slid down her cheek. J.J. cried in front of no one; she was a strong, independent woman who saw it as a weakness. That one tear spoke volumes about her current state.

Her voice was ful of sorrow as she spoke, I hated seeing her like this. “I’ve made a horrible mistake, El e.”

“You never meant to end it with Elijah,” I stated, seeing just what was wrong with her. “Why did you?”

“I was being stupid. The grass is greener and al that. Now I realize that’s garbage. I spent a long time searching for something that ended up finding me. Trouble was, when I got what I was looking for, I didn’t see it and let it get away.”

“
It
meaning Eli?”

She wasn’t listening to me. She was locked in her own little world.

“We argued after you bailed on the date with

Beau. Couldn’t even tel you what we were shouting about. We were going at it in the middle of the street. People were staring. In the end I cal ed him a child. I told him that it was over. I was spitting mad when I got home, deleted his number from my cel .” She glared at me. “Pathetic, I know.”

“And it was Eli that you were talking to last night?”

J.J. fel forward, pressing her forehead against the wood table and moaned, “I tried to eat crow, in my usual offhand manner. Surprise! I messed it up. It turned into another argument.”

“Oh, J.J. cal him again. You’l sort it out.” I realized my response was blasé, but she needed to solve this herself. It would do her good to give a little, something she wasn’t accustomed to.

J.J. froze, and then stood up so quickly the chair flipped onto its back. “I’m going to him,” she said confidently.

I blinked, unsure whether I had heard correctly, but she began hunting around the kitchen for her possessions; the look on her face slightly maniacal.

“It’s Christmas day, you know that, right?”

“Duh! Of course I do, but I have my own way back to New York. The roads wil be empty today,” she gleamed.

“My car?”

“Yes. I was going to have to drive it back anyway.”

She ran out of steam and plonked herself back down on a chair. “Tel me I’m not crazy, El e.”

I laughed. “You’re not. You’re just in love,

remember that next time you decide to be so judgmental about the choices I’ve made regarding Jonah.” I kept my tone light, but I was serious.

“I’ve been a shitty friend. I’m sorry. I wasn’t there when you needed me, there’s no excuse for that.”

I was dubious, because she appeared to have

changed overnight. I had to admit I liked this version of J.J.

“You were there,” I reasoned. “But you were quick to jump to your own conclusions.”

She embraced me, holding me tight and

apologizing again. I told her she needed to eat before she drove home, but after a twenty minute conversation while she packed her suitcase, I was no closer to getting her to stay. Mom ended up making her a sack lunch. The three of us stood on the porch in the blistering cold as she pul ed out of the driveway. Jonah snickering at the sudden change in J.J., as wel as the fact the she was driving on Christmas day to ask Elijah back.

“Shut up!” I snapped. “You better be wil ing to do the same for me, sunshine!”

I pushed at his chest, trying to fend him off as he moved to hug me. I wasn’t serious, and he knew it, so he continued to corral me into the corner of the porch, ignoring my mom.

“Is this where you want me to get al corny on you, Red?” His voice was low, husky and did wonderful things to my insides.

I wound my arms around his neck, enjoying the

pressure of his body against mine. “Never corny,” I denied.

“You could never be that.”

“You two are giving the neighbors a tasty nugget to chat about later. I’m freezing. Are we going to start this day, or are you staying out in the cold?”

“Coming, Mrs. Sampson.” Jonah grinned as he

steered me across to the front door.

The wal clock on the way in showed it was now after twelve. Mom was worrying about starting dinner, though there was no rush. At this moment in time, it wouldn’t bother me if we sat down to eat at ten o’clock tonight.

“Mom, please don’t fret. Let’s sit and open some gifts. Jonah and I wil lend a hand with dinner later.”

She shuffled over to the Christmas tree that stil housed the baubles I’d made as a child. Meow was batting at one of the ones that dangled from a lower branch, amusing himself. Mom grabbed two red gift bags and brought them over to the couch where I’d snuggled down. Jonah decided the floor was a better option, and sat between my legs, his fingers running up and down my shins absentmindedly.

“Now these are yours, but you hang on Jonah, I have one under the tree for you, too.” She walked back to the tree, her velvet skirt swishing around her ankles.

“Mrs. Sampson, you didn’t need to-”

“Wil you stop with that
Mrs. Sampson
stuff? Cal me Hannah, and you’re right, I didn’t
need
to get you anything. I
wanted
to.” She handed him a large green gift bag and smile warmly. “Now take it. Merry Christmas, Jonah.”

He stared at the gift, resting it on his knee but not making any move to open it. I placed my hands on his shoulders, smoothing my thumbs up and down his neck. It was a gesture of reassurance, one Jonah took wil ingly. I bent over, uttering into his ear, “I know this is hard. I’m going to take a guess that it’s the first present you’ve received in a very long time. Mom and I are just trying to make this better for you.”

He turned his head, meeting my lips with his and speaking against them, “I love you.”

“I know. Just have a good day, or at least make an effort to.”

His brief setback alarmed me a bit. I had to

remind myself that today was no ordinary day for Jonah, and it was bound to hurt him a little. Though I was here to support and love him, sometimes it was easy to forget the baggage he carried with him and get lost in his passion. He’d been a broken man in the beginning; shy and depressed, and while many women would have run from him that first time I found him bleeding in his apartment; I couldn’t. He was my everything.

“Are you going to make eyes at each other for the rest of the day?” Mom questioned.

We both jumped, startled out of our thoughts. I mouthed a
sorry
to her, explaining that her gift was stil in my bedroom. She took it as her cue to start preparing the food and excused herself. I took Jonah’s hand and led him upstairs. Opening Mom’s gift would have to wait. I was going to hand him his present from me while we were alone.

Jonah entered the room, slumping onto the

unmade bed and stared at the green paper bag Mom had given him. I knelt at his feet, my hands covering his over the paper.

“Jonah, you can do this. You don’t need to feel sad or isolated.”

“I know,” he rasped. “I’m happy, Red. I’m

just...happy.”

My smile was so big my cheeks hurt. “So I can

give you my gift now? I don’t want you to get upset.”

He nodded. I didn’t wait for anymore confirmation. I raced over to my suitcase and opened it, retrieving the large, wrapped rectangle from the bottom.

I gave it to him. I thought he was going to take his time with it, but after one sweep of his hand across the surface, he ripped the decorated paper open. I sat down next to him, lowering my head so that I could see his expression. He seemed confused at first, but then a smile showed his amazement. His finger traced across the glass, fol owing the outline of the three images in the frame.

“How did you?
Where
did you?”

“First of al , you have to promise not to shout at me, okay?”

He didn’t answer, just continued to stare at the photograph.

“The day you first cal ed your mom? You did it from my phone, so I had your family’s home number. When I asked you to come here for Christmas, I couldn’t think of a single thing to get for you, but then inspiration struck. I know I shouldn’t have, so don’t get angry, but I cal ed them and told them what I wanted. Your mom emailed the photograph me the next day,” I blurted.

“You spoke to my mom?” he choked.

“I did. She’s so nice, interrogated me a bit, like al mom’s should when their son’s girlfriend cal s the first time. I should have asked you, but then, that would have spoiled the surprise. Do you like it? Your mom said Quinn bought that shirt especial y for the picture.”

Jonah placed the framed photograph of his family down onto the floor with precision. I braced myself for his wrath.

It never came.

He pushed me back, pinning me to the mattress

and hovering over me so that his hair flopped forward. My hand itched to reach up and smoothed it back. His intent was stil unclear as his eyes pierced mine; those fierce chips of ice giving nothing away... until he swooped and captured my lips. The kiss was aggressive, so much so that I was sure my lips were going to bruise, but I wasn’t about to stop him. I flipped him, taking some authority back. I sat up, waiting for an explanation. He licked his lips, his fingers tunneling under the hem of my skirt then stopping to hold my thighs firmly.

“I don’t have the words, El e. Al I can say is thank you.”

“You’re not mad?”

Jonah shook his head, the right side of his mouth turning up in a smal smile. “How could I be angry at you, baby? From day one you’ve been nothing but amazing. It’s no wonder you broke me; no wonder I fel for you.”

“I didn’t break you,” I protested, but Jonah

disagreed.

“You broke the shel I had built around the real me. You left me raw and bleeding, but what came of that was us. And Red? We are perfect. I love you.”

I lowered my torso to rest on top of his, and

nuzzled the crook of his neck. “I love you too.”

We lay like that for a while, content with the contact, until I decided to tel him everything. “I spoke to Quinn.”

“Real y?” He rumbled. “And what do you think?”

“The truth?” I asked, then continued once he

nodded his head in approval. “The hardest part is referring to you as Benjamin when I speak to them. To me you’re Jonah.”

“I can see how that’s a problem. We’l work it out. Damn, Red, thank you. I don’t just mean the gift either. I mean al of it. Your persistence, your passion. Your love.”

I kissed his jaw, his stubble coarse on my

sensitive lips. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“I do have a gift for you. I just don’t want you to move off me.”

“Wel she’l have to!” Came a voice from the

doorway. “I have potatoes that need chopping and veggies that need peeling. If either of you want to eat today, you’l separate and get your tushies downstairs.”

We both giggled like children, promising that we would be downstairs to help soon.

Soon turned out to be two hours later. Mom was rather tipsy by then. It was a Christmas like no other, and I prayed New Years with Jonah’s family would be the same.

I was a little sad we had to leave Cape Cod. The time at my mom’s went by far too fast, and it was difficult to leave her. In previous years, I’d spent al of Christmas and New Years at home with her, even when I was living with Nathan. It was a tradition. But we had a flight to Philadelphia to see Jonah’s parents. Tomorrow would be New Years Eve – my birthday. I purposeful y kept this detail about myself from Jonah. He had enough on his mind without having to worry about a gift or festivities for me. Jonah struggled to cope with his mixed emotions. He wanted to go and see his family, however the unknown was scaring him. I tried to console him on the flight; touching him, kissing him, and trying to get him to verbalize his concerns. He brushed off my worries, but the shaking of his hand when he held my pinkie in his proved he was affected. By the time we were in the taxi, Jonah was a mess, and the closer we got to his parent’s, the worse the trembling became.