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  In these early situations, the world seemed hostile to us, closing in around us, expelling us from the only life we had yet known, and causing us emotional and physical pain. These experiences forged in us a "false ego" that continues to perceive the world as dangerous and carries this attitude over into future situations even when the circumstances are radically different. The ego that dies in the fourth matrix is identified with a compulsion to be always strong and in control and to be constantly prepared for all possible dangers, even those we could never foresee and those that are purely imaginary. It makes us feel that circumstances are never right and nothing is enough and that we have to pursue various grandiose projects to prove something to ourselves and to others. The elimination of the false ego thus helps us to develop a more realistic image of the world and to build strategies of approaching it that are more appropriate and rewarding.

  The experience of the ego death, marking the transition between BPM III and BPM IV, is usually dramatic and catastrophic. We might be bombarded with images from the past and present and in evaluating them we may feel that we have never done anything right and that we are absolute failures. We are convinced that we are pitiful and powerless and that nothing we might think or do would change our desperate situation. Our entire world seems to collapse and we lose all meaningful reference points in our lives—personal accomplishments, loved ones, support systems, hopes, and dreams all seem for naught. The route to freedom from the despair and helplessness we feel is through surrender—the very thing our egos are fighting. The experience of total personal surrender is a necessary prerequisite for connecting with a transpersonal source. Recovering alcoholics and addicts know this place as the moment where one admits complete powerlessness and discovers the Higher Power.

  After we have hit bottom, we are suddenly struck by visions of blinding white or golden light of supernatural radiance and beauty. There is the feeling of space expanding around us, and we are filled to overflowing with a sense of liberation, redemption, salvation, and forgiveness. We feel purged as if we have just been released from all heaviness in our lives—guilt, aggression, anxiety, and other forms of difficult emotions seem to fall away. We may feel overwhelming love for our fellow humans, deep appreciation

for the warmth of human contact, solidarity with all life, and a sense of oneness with nature and the universe. The arrogance and defensiveness tend to fade away as we discover the power of humility, perhaps prompting us to be of service to others. Exaggerated ambition, as well as cravings for material wealth, status, and power suddenly seem childish, absurd, and useless vanities.

When we confront BPM IV as adults in regression therapy, psychospiritual crisis, or intense meditation, it is not usually limited to the reliving of the biological and emotional aspects of birth. The death-rebirth theme includes many other types of experiences that share with it the same quality of emotions and sensations. Typically, we see a combination of the original birth memories, symbolic images of birth, scenes from human history, identification with various animals, and mythological sequences. All these might be interspersed with memories of later events that reflect the parallels between BPM IV and certain types of experiences in our lives.

  The spiritual and mythological symbolism associated with BPM IV is abundant and varied and, as with the other matrices, the imagery can draw from virtually any cultural tradition. The ego death can be experienced as being sacrificed to the terrifying Indian goddess Kali or to the Aztec sun god Huitzilopochtli. Or one may also feel identified with a baby thrown by its mother into the devouring flames of the biblical Moloch, together with other children who have met their death in this immolation ritual. I have already mentioned the legendary bird Phoenix as an ancient symbol of rebirth; visions of this mythological bird or identification with it are frequent occurrences in non-ordinary states. One can also experience spiritual rebirth as a union with specific deities, for example, the Aztec Quetzalcoatl, the Egyptian Osiris, or Adonis, Attis, and Dionysus from the Greek tradition. Identification with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is among the most frequent experiential forms related to BPM IV, as illustrated by the narrative that opened this chapter. The bliss of this unexpected spiritual opening abounding in astonishing insights can be referred to as Promethean ecstasy.

  Occasionally, spiritual rebirth can be associated with a very special form of experience—the Atman-Brahman union described in ancient Hindu texts. Here the person feels a deep connection with the innermost spiritual core of his or her being. The illusion of the individual self
(jiva)
fades away and the person enjoys reunion with his or her divine Self
(Atman),
which is also the Universal Self
(Brahman),
the cosmic source of all existence. This is a direct and immediate contact with the Beyond Within, with God, or with what the Upanishads refer to as
Tat tvam asi
("Thou art That"). This realization of the fundamental identity of the individual consciousness with the creative principle of the universe is one of the most profound experiences a human being can have. Spiritual rebirth, as experienced through BPM IV, can re-open the gateway to the oceanic ecstasy of BPM I, and through it we experience cosmic unity.

  The symbiotic union with the mother that typically follows the experience of rebirth ("good breast") is very close to that of the undisturbed intrauterine existence ("good womb"); they sometimes alternate or even coexist. The experience of BPM IV can be accompanied by feelings of merging with the rest of the world, thus resembling the experience of unity that we discussed in the context of BPM I. In this state, the reality surrounding us has a numinous quality. As we feel united with everything that is, the appreciation for natural beauty and simple, uncomplicated life takes precedence over most other concerns. The wisdom of teachers and systems of thought emphasizing these values—the philosophies of Jean Jacques Rousseau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Henry David Thoreau, or the teachings of Taoism and Zen Buddhism—seem self-evident and indisputable.

  Under the most ideal circumstances, the ego death and rebirth can have far-reaching and often lasting consequences. It frees us from the paranoid, defensive posture toward the world that we may have as the result of certain aspects of our birth and painful experiences thereafter. It is as if we have been stripped of the filters and distorting lenses that ordinarily limit our perception of ourselves and the world. With the experience of rebirth, all our sensory pathways are suddenly wide open. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and tactile sensations all appear to be unimaginably more intense, vivid, and pleasurable. We may feel that we are really seeing the world for the first time in our lives. Everything around us, even the most ordinary and familiar scenes, seems unusually exciting and stimulating. People report entirely new ways of appreciating and enjoying their loved ones, the sound of music, the beauties of nature, and the endless pleasures that the world provides for our senses.

  Higher motivating forces, such as the pursuit of justice, the appreciation for harmony and beauty and the desire to create it, a new tolerance and respect for others, as well as feelings of love, become increasingly important in our lives. What is more, we perceive these as direct, natural, and logical expressions of our true nature and of the universal order. They cannot be explained in terms of psychological defenses, such as the Freudian "reaction formation" (appearing to be loving when we are actually feeling aggression and hatred), or the "sublimation" of primitive instinctual drives (spending long hours helping others as a way to cope with our sexual tensions.) Interestingly, there are striking parallels between these new awarenesses and what Abraham Maslow called "metavalues" and "metamotivations." He observed changes of this kind regularly in people who had spontaneous mystical or "peak experiences." Positive aftereffects of this kind are most intense during the days or weeks immediately following spiritual breakthroughs and tend to weaken with time; however, on a more subtle level, they leave the person permanently transformed.

  The individual who has successfully completed the death-rebirth sequence feels a sense of deep relaxation, quiet excitement, serenity, and inner peace. However, on occasion, the process does not run its full course and results in a temporary state resembling mania. The individual involved may feel overly excited, hyperactive, and euphoric to the point of a painful caricature. For example, after an incomplete breakthrough into BPM IV and the first onslaught of cosmic insights, some people run around loudly proclaiming their revelations, attempting to share them indiscriminately with those around them. One might see them proselytize, ask for special honors, try to arrange big celebrations, and make grandiose plans for changing the world.

  This frequently happens in spontaneous psychospiritual crises where understanding, support, and guidance are usually not available. When the discovery of one's divinity remains attached to the body ego, it can take the form of a psychotic delusion of grandeur instead of a genuine mystical insight. This kind of behavior indicates that this person has not fully connected with BPM IV and has to work through and integrate some problematic elements from BPM III. After these residual negative aspects of BPM III are fully resolved, rebirth is experienced in its pure form, as quiet rapture with serenity and tranquility. This state is completely satisfactory and selffulfilling and does not require any immediate action in the world.

The common denominators linking memories from later life with the experiences associated with BPM IV include elements of major victory, success in difficult projects, and fortuitous escape from dangerous situations. We have repeatedly seen that while reliving the moment of birth, many people experience a memory replay of the end of a war or revolution, survival of an accident, or the overcoming of a major challenge. On a different level, they may also recall the termination of a difficult marriage and the beginning of a new love relationship. Occasionally, an entire series of later successes in life can occur in the form of a condensed review.

  Uncomplicated birth seems to be the blueprint for coping with all later difficult situations in life. Various complications, such as prolonged and debilitating delivery, the use of forceps, or heavy anesthesia appear to be correlated to specific problems in dealing with future projects of all kinds. The same is true for induced birth, premature delivery, and Caesarean section.

  In terms of Freudian erogenous zones, BPM IV is associated with pleasure and satisfaction following the release of tension. Thus, on the oral level, the physical aspect of this state would resemble the satiation of thirst and hunger or the relief we feel when we terminate intense gastric discomfort by vomiting. On the anal and urethral level, it is the satisfaction brought about by defecation or urination after painful retention. On the genital level, this state corresponds to the pleasure and relaxation after a good sexual orgasm. And for women in labor it would be the orgastic release that can be experienced immediately after delivery.

The area of the unconscious that we associate with these four perinatal matrices represents an interface between our individual psyches and what Jung called the collective unconscious. As we have seen, the experiences related to the different matrices often combine memories of various aspects of biological birth with sequences from human history or mythology and identification with various animals. These elements belong to the transpersonal domain, a realm of a new cartography that lies beyond the biographical and perinatal realms. This is the most controversial area presently being studied in modern consciousness research.

  Transpersonal experiences challenge the belief that human consciousness is limited by the range of our senses and by the environment we entered at birth. While traditional psychology believes that our mental functioning and experience is the direct result of our brain's ability to sort out, assign meaning to, and store the information gathered by our senses, transpersonal researchers offer evidence that under certain circumstances we have access to virtually unlimited sources of information about the universe that may or may not have complements in the physical world. We will be exploring this fascinating area in the next section of the book.

—Albert Einstein