Until You Believe Me (2 page)

"Maddie? What's wrong, you are all pale. Are you ok? Was it lunch?"

I shake my head as no words are coming to mind. I immediately put my head down, hoping my hair will shield my face.

"Madison Branson? Is that you?" I hear his voice and now I have lost my ability to breathe. My stomach churns as I lift my eyes and give a slight smile.

"Wow you look great. How are you?" He smiles that arrogant smile I remember was a permanent fixture on his smug little face.

"Brad." I give a half-assed nod. And divert my eyes.

"It's been forever. Are you still at that university? God, you look really good."

I watch as his eyes go from my plain old black ballet flats up to the top of my air dried brown hair. Each inch he takes in makes me want to vomit all over.

"I am. Thanks for asking."

My mother is watching with a quizzical look on her face. She pretends to be looking at the pasta sauce but her eyes are turned toward me.

"We should get together for a drink or something. I'd love to sit and catch up." That simile again. And the slightest lick of his bottom lip. I feel bile rise in my throat.

"I don't think so. I'm awfully busy." I advert my eyes and start walking. As he's just about passed me he stops in front of me, putting his hand in mine on the shopping cart.

"C'mon Madison, we had fun last time. It's been too long." His voice is now barely audible and his last words slide off his tongue, almost snakelike.

"Well hello there Bradley. How are you doing today? Can I help you with anything?" My mother had positioned herself between he and I

"No ma'am. Just saying hello to your lovely daughter. I'll see you around Madison."

My eyes challenge his and I quickly walk away with the shopping cart and stop only when I've reached the next aisle.

I let out a breath as I feel the blood start returning to my face.

I hear my mother's shoes before I see her,

"Maddie, what was that about?"

"Mom, don't. Just don't." I let out another breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"What did he say to you? Do I need to get the authorities involved?"

"Mom, I'm fine. Let's just go."

After bringing her last grocery bag in I stand in the kitchen having a cup of tea. I have recovered from my run-in and Mom has surprisingly not questioned me about it again.

"Maddie, are you going to stay for supper?" Mom calls from the bathroom, putting away a few toiletries.

"No Ma, I am going to start heading home. It's been fun." I give her a small smile and hug her. She hugs me tightly and I fit perfectly into her motherly bear hug. At one point in my adolescent I was convinced I would grow to tower over my 5'8" mother. However that was not to be as my growth spurt took me to 5'4" and not an inch more.

"Thank you for coming to see your dear old Mom. She misses you and needs to see you are ok for herself sometimes." She gives a little sigh.

I can tell she is both sad I am leaving but also still thinking about the grocery store. I will not go there with her and I think I have made that clear. There are just some things you don't like to go through with your mom again.

"Of course Ma. I love you. I'll talk to you soon ok?" My tone is as reassuring as I can make it. I smile but I know it does not reach my eyes.

"Drive safe Madison, I mean it." The ever-present mom warning.

"I will, don't worry." I smile and wave over my shoulder as I walk out of my childhood home.

The ride home is uneventful. I run through the day's events and struggle through a few breaths as my grocery store run in come across my brain. I quickly push it out of my mind, not wanting to go there.

When I arrive home I quickly change into pajamas, make a quick turkey sandwich and watch a little bit of mindless tv. It's past ten when I glance at the clock and I decide to turn in for the evening.

****

The wine is great. Cold and crisp and clean. It's one of those things that I am not used to. I am no wine expert, I don't even particularly enjoy the taste. For some reason he has been able to pick a kind I like every time.

"You look phenomenal. Honestly breathtaking." His brown eyes glow in the soft restaurant light.

I feel a blush take my cheeks, "Really, you're too much, this is too much."

He takes my hand across the table and smiles brightly.

Suddenly a weight is on me.

"That was some good wine sweetheart."

I shake my head as the words hardly sound like words. They are shaky and slurred.

I feel ten hands all over. I can barely breathe and try to come up for air.

"I've wanted to do this all night, since you got into my car in that tight skirt and your hair all done up. God I can't wait to get under those clothes."

It is the tone that makes me start sweating first. The harder I push the heavier the weight is.

"Oh you know you want this as much as I do. I've spent the past month taking you out, wining and dining you and every time you look so...delicious. Stop being a tease, this is what you want."

The weight is all consuming, it's like I am swimming under a pool of breath and hot air.

I shoot up in bed, covered in a blanket of sweat. My breathing is ragged and I look around 2:37 A.M. My bedside clock reads and I take inventory of my body and surroundings. Just me, in my house, in my own bed.

I let out a breath as I throw myself back down on my pillow in exasperation.

Chapter 3

Monday morning's alarm clock wakes me with a start. I drag myself from under the covers, start the coffee pot and then hop in the shower. Even after nine days the routine is fresh and easy. I easily follow my ordinary morning routine. Days off are overrated I think to myself. Days not bound by a routine and a system can erupt into chaos and that is one thing I cannot stand.

I leave the house at precisely 7:30. Even though my first class does not begin until 9:00 and I have no scheduled office hours I like to get there early so I can collect my thoughts and be mentally prepared for the lecture.

As usual my car is one of the first in the faculty parking lot. As I close my door I am immediately distracted by loud and obnoxious and extremely out of place sounds. Looking around I notice a huge steel structure that is about 500 feet from my office building. It already has windows and walls and looks much more like a building than I had anticipated. The roar of a bulldozer is heard in the distance no doubt clearing land for another monstrous structure. I give the building a slight shrug of acceptance and start walking towards the office building.

My hand reaches the handle and suddenly I feel a stinging pain go through my middle finger into my wrist. I shuffle back, slightly losing my balance. Only falling for a split second before I feel hands steadying my waist.

"Holy shit, what the hell." I look up bewildered and find myself looking at blackness. A split second passes where I wonder if I have fainted or had a heart attack. I suddenly struggle against the hands to get them off of me.

"Woah, watch where you're going little lady. I nearly took you out with the door. Are you ok?"

I don't say anything for a second, trying to get my barrings. The pain in my hand slowly starts to dull as I survey the man in front of me. He is in worn jeans and a gray T-shirt. Both articles of clothing are covered in dust and dirt and who knows what else.

"I just..the door...jammed my hand...almost fell." Once my mind registers the ridiculous stutter I have developed I snap out of it.

"I mean, I'm ok...sorry I was just trying to get to my office. Excuse me, sorry." We do the awkward, you go left, I'll go right, but we both go left dance until I feel hands on both of my upper arms. My feet shuffle awkwardly as the man who maimed me moves me to one side.

"I'm the one who is sorry, please don't apologize. Are you sure you're ok? Do you need some ice?"

I swallow in a loud, cliched gulp. Towering over me is probably the biggest man I've ever seen. I nearly look completely straight up to make eye contact. I catch slight curls of brownish red hair, light green eyes, a concerned face that looks like it has been tanned perfectly by the sun, followed by the most perfectly filled shirt I've ever seen. I blush as I realize I haven't responded and have clearly been looking him up and down.

I give myself a slight smack on the forehead. "Yes, I mean I'm fine. I don't need ice. Sorry. Thank you though. I just was just trying to get to my office."

Bright white teeth nearly blind me. "Yes, you've said as much. However I am not convinced that you are ok. I will repeat the question once more before I take you to seek medical attention. Did I hurt you at all?"

I feel my cheeks go three different shades of crimson. "I'm sorry, my hand hurts but I'm ok. This is just not part of my normal routine. Just shook me for a minute. I'm really ok though, thank you, I'm sorry, I need to go. I'm sorry." I give a small wave and nearly run into the building.

I exhale a big breath I hadn't remembered holding in and nearly sprint into my office. I close my door behind me and set down my bags. What the hell was that? When did I turn int a stumbling, bmbling fool? I take inventory of the parts of body that could have been impacted by the collision and notice that my hands is throbbing along with my accelerated heart beat.

"Shit, that hurts."

"Oh baby, what do you have going on in here?"

I roll my eyes as Ben comes sauntering into my office.

"What the hell did you do?" He drops his bags as well and comes over  to examine my left hand which is clutched in my right.

"I am ok. It just stings. I was reaching to open the door to the building and some construction guy was coming out and banged the door into my hand. It just jammed my finger back, but goodness gracious does it hurt right now. I almost fell, but he caught me." I shook my head to clear out the cobwebs that have seemed to form in the past 10 minutes.

"You should ice it, it looks like your finger is swelling up a little. He caught you? Like cliche save the damsel from falling caught you?" Ben picks up his bag, seeing as he has now assessed the situation and clearly given me a positive prognosis.

"The building looks awesome doesn't it? I can't believe they got so far on it." I hear Ben call as he is walking to his own office.

"Yeah, it's great. In the twenty minutes I've been on campus I have been distracted for half of it. Great start." I roll my eyes even though I know he cannot see me. This minor issue just strengthens my feeling that this whole rebuilding thing is going to greatly harm my chances of a promotion.

"You are being ridiculous and you know it. Stop making everything that is out of your control, evil. You never know when something good can come out of different or change. I know how you love change." I heard his smile and saw it as I walked into his office.

"Change is evil. I can't help that. Its job to is change what is already working well." I sat down with an exasperated sigh.

"You are a control freak, admit it so we all can move on to step two and get you out of this funk you're in. You probably thought about the groundbreaking during break and fretted about it. You need to loosen up or you're going to walk around life so afraid and spend your time being rattled by an occasional swinging door."

It did rattle me in a very strange way. I spent every weekday morning, waking up at exactly 6:15. Pressing the on button for the coffee pot before showering. Following the same shower and dress routine. Climbing in my car and driving here and arriving within 5 minutes of the previous day. That was not a part of my routine and the expectation of change already had me rattled.

"Well thank-you Doc for clearing up my mental health problems. You made me see so clearly now. I'm going to class, I'll see you later."

Chapter 4

Class was uneventful. I returned to my office shortly after eleven. The corkboard on my door where students leave messages for me had an envelope pinned to it. I took it down and opened my door to my office and had a seat. I opened the envelope expecting to find a scrawled message from a student who hadn't met a deadline, instead the message was on a construction company letterhead.

Sorry about this morning. I really do hope you're ok. You seemed kind of spooked. Hope I didn't frighten you. Ice it, it helps!