Until You (29 page)

Madeline looked up from where she sat sponging Ashleigh's brow as Nicholas entered the room.

Walking over to the side of the bed, he looked down upon Ashleigh's delicate features.  “How is she?” he asked, his voice betraying no emotion whatsoever.  

“She seems to be doing a little better, but Dr.
Ainsley
has been given a room down the hall.  He has agreed to remain until Ashleigh and the baby are out of danger.”

At his grandmother’s mention of the baby, Nicholas' gaze was instantly drawn in the direction of Ashleigh's abdomen.  Obviously, she wasn't showing yet, for there was no telltale lump underneath the thin coverlet.  He still couldn't believe that Ashleigh might be carrying his child.  How could he have been so careless?  He’d asked himself that question over and over again in the past hour and still didn't have an answer. 

Drawing in a deep breath, Nicholas turned his gaze back to Madeline.  “I will do my duty Grandmother.  I will marry her.”

Madeline’s expression softened as she studied his face.  “It isn’t a death sentence, Nicholas.” 

“Isn’t it?”

“I know you, Nicholas.  You obviously care for her.  You would not have done something so reckless and irresponsible if you didn’t.”

He looked away, not saying anything in response. 

“Do not judge her unfairly Nicholas.  Ashleigh is a wonderful young woman.  She didn’t set out to trap you, surely you must believe that.”

Right or wrong, he didn’t want to argue with her. 

“She isn’t like so many of the others, she isn’t like Melissa.”
 
Her expression was tender.
 
“Nor is she like your mother.” 

“You should get some sleep, Grandmother, as you said; Dr.
Ainsley
is just down the hall.  Besides, you won't be of any help to her if you take ill yourself.”  With that, he turned and left the room.

After making his way back downstairs, Nicholas found Brendon sitting alone in the library.  As he entered the room, Brendon lowered the glass of whiskey he was holding and gave him a frosty glare.  “You needn't keep scowling at me Brendon,” Nicholas said wearily.  “I will marry her.”

“How noble of you,” Brendon drawled sarcastically, raising his glass in a mock salute.

Nicholas eyed him steadily.  “I saw the two of you in the sleigh when I arrived, the morning before Christmas,” his tone wasn’t angry, just matter of fact.   “Are you in love with her?”

Brendon looked shocked.  “Good lord, is that the reason you’ve been acting like such an ass?”

“You didn’t answer my question?”

“What if I was?  Would that bother you?” Brendon asked bluntly.

Nicholas’ jaw tightened.

Brendon’s expression lightened at once.
 
“That’s what I thought.  You care about her, a hell of a lot more than you are willing to admit.  And to answer your question, no Nick, I am not in love with her,” he replied, his tone sincere.  “I was attracted to her yes, but she did not return my feelings.  Whatever you saw that day certainly wasn’t what you thought.  She is my friend, nothing more.” 

Nicholas believed him.  His brother wouldn’t lie to him, and the relief he felt was shocking in its intensity.

“But I did ask her to marry me.”

“You did what?” Nicholas’ jaw dropped.

“When she told me she was carrying your baby and that you wanted nothing to do with her, I offered my assistance.  She turned me down of course,” he said with a slight smile.

“You knew she was with child?”
 
Nicholas was stunned.

“She told me that very day, and made me promise not to tell you.”

“Why?”

“She wanted time to think, time to decide what to do?”  His tone was forthright.  “She never had any intention of forcing you into marriage.”

He wanted to believe him.
 
“You can’t possibly know that.”

“I
do
know that,” he said, his tone resolute.  “You have grossly misjudged her Nick.  I wish you could see that.”

 When Nicholas remained stoically silent, Brendon set down his drink and rose from his chair.  Moving toward his brother his expression was earnest as he reached out, placing his hand upon his shoulder.  “Let go of the past Nick, for both of your sakes.” 

With that said Brendon turned to the door and walked from the room, leaving Nicholas alone to ponder his brother’s words.
 
There was a great deal of truth to them, even more so than he wanted to accept.

When Ashleigh awoke, she felt a dull throbbing in her head and noted a bitter, unpleasant taste in her mouth.  She opened her eyes and was surprised to find herself once again in her bedchamber at
Sethe
Manor.  She looked around in confusion, wondering how she had gotten there.  She remembered traveling to her grandfather's hunting lodge, but for some odd reason she could remember nothing of what had happened after she had gone upstairs to rest. 

Slowly she pushed herself up onto her elbows, and then blinked as the room began to tilt and spin before her eyes.  She instantly collapsed back onto the pillows, closing her eyes tightly in an attempt to stop the room's sudden nauseating rotation.

Madeline, who had been standing across the room sipping a cup of tea, heard Ashleigh's movements and immediately rushed to the side of the bed, her silk skirts rustling in her wake.  “Ashleigh, Ashleigh dear, can you hear me?” Madeline asked anxiously, as she set her cup upon the nightstand and then laid her hand gently upon Ashleigh's now cool forehead.

Ashleigh once again opened her eyes and saw Madeline's concerned face hovering above her.
 
“What…happened?” she asked, the words coming out in little more than a ragged whisper.

“You have been ill, darling,” Madeline replied softly, sitting down upon the edge of the mattress.
 
“When Nicholas found you at your grandfather’s hunting lodge you were unconscious and burning up with fever, which fortunately broke earlier today.”

“Nicholas, I mean, His Grace found me?”  Ashleigh stammered in confusion.  “But I left a note, didn't you find it?”

“Yes dear, we found your note.”

“Oh,” she muttered quietly.  Looking away, she clutched the edge of the heavy counterpane that covered her, unable to meet Madeline's gaze.  Obviously, they hadn’t believed her story.

“Would you like to tell me the real reason you left?” Madeline asked gently.

“I…I can't,” Ashleigh responded, as her hand tightened on the thick coverlet.  How could she possibly tell Madeline that she was carrying Nicholas' child, and that she had fled rather than endure his continued acrimony.

“Ashleigh, look at me,” Madeline ordered, reaching out and gently taking Ashleigh’s hand in her own.  “Dr.
Ainsley
told us that you are expecting a baby, darling.  I know that Nicholas is the father.”

Ashleigh stared at the duchess with a mixture of shock and horror for several long seconds, before finally throwing herself sobbing into Madeline's outstretched arms.

“There, there now, everything is going to be fine, dearest, you mustn't upset yourself so,” Madeline murmured, as she soothingly stroked Ashleigh’s hair.  

  Ashleigh wasn’t sure how many minutes had passed before she was finally able to bring herself under control, but eventually Madeline's soft words and soothing caresses quieted her heart-wrenching sobs.

“I'm sorry,” Ashleigh said between sniffles as she withdrew from Madeline’s embrace, wiping at the tears that stubbornly continued to cascade down her pale cheeks.  “I seem to cry all of the time lately, I do not know what is wrong with me,” she said apologetically. 

“Ashleigh dearest, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  It is only natural to be emotional at a time like this,” Madeline assured her.  “You have clearly been through a great deal these past days, emotionally and physically.”

Ashleigh merely nodded.

Patting Ashleigh’s hand reassuringly, Madeline rose to stand.  “I should fetch Dr.
Ainsley
and let him know that you are awake.”

Ashleigh didn’t have an opportunity to reply, for just then there was a soft knock upon the door.  As the two women turned toward the sound, the door opened and Nicholas walked boldly into the room.

“Grandmother, I would like to speak with you a moment, if I may.  I have just...” he began, before halting in mid-sentence, noting that Ashleigh was awake and sitting propped up in bed, her wide eyes glued to his face. 

“Well, I am relieved to see that you are awake at last,” he said with cool politeness.  “You gave us all quite a scare.  I hope that this means that you are on your way to a full recovery.”

Ashleigh merely nodded before casting her eyes downward, unable to hold his sudden intense gaze.

“Nicholas, I wasn't aware that you had concluded your meeting.”  Madeline said as she moved toward him.

“Mr. Gresham just left.” 

“I see.  Well, thankfully Ashleigh appears to be doing much better, just as Dr.
Ainsley
predicted. In fact, I was just about to summon him, now that she is awake.”  Her voice dropped to a low whisper as she neared his side.  “I trust everything has been taken care of?”  

“Mr. Gresham will see to obtaining the special license at once.”
 
It never ceased to amaze him what the right amount of money could buy.  “We should be able to hold the ceremony as soon as she has regained her strength,” he said in a low voice, glancing in Ashleigh’s direction.  “Now, would you please excuse us for a moment, Grandmother, I believe Ashleigh and I have a few things we need to discuss privately.”

“Nicholas, I don’t think that Ashleigh is feeling up to any lengthy discussions as of yet, she has barely just awoken.”

“I have no intention of oversetting her, Grandmother, have no fear,” he said, as he gently, yet forcefully gripped her arm and turned her in the direction of the door.  

“But Nicholas...”

“Go on and fetch Dr.
Ainsley
, Grandmother.  I am sure he will wish to check on his patient now that she is alert.”  Before she could argue further, he ushered her out into the hallway and closed the door firmly behind her.

With his grandmother out of the room, Nicholas leaned back against the door and folded his arms across his chest.  He stood there for a minute, staring at Ashleigh's bent head, watching as she nervously clutched at her covers. 

Unnerved by his sudden silence, Ashleigh finally looked up and met Nicholas’ steady gaze.

“Is it mine?” he asked, his expression purposefully devoid of emotion.

There was no point in lying to him.  Not anymore.  “Yes, of course it’s yours.  There has never been anyone else.  I wasn’t being truthful when I told you there had been others.”

“Why?”

“I was hurt and I…I wanted to hurt you in return,” she told him honestly.  He stared at her for several moments and Ashleigh knew he was wondering whether or not to believe her.

“Nicholas, I…”

He cut her off.  “I have sent for a special license.
 
We shall be married as soon as it arrives,” he informed her in a flat tone.
 
With her grandfather out of the country, obtaining the license had been a bit of a challenge, but after doling out a small fortune in bribes, it had ultimately been granted.
 

Those words should have filled her with joy, but they didn’t.  She knew he didn’t want to marry.  He was only doing what he felt he had to.  “You need not have bothered, for I will be leaving for
Glenbrooke
as soon as I am able.” Ashleigh stated quietly.  “I know that you do not wish to marry me, and I have no desire to force myself, or this child upon you.  Furthermore, I intend to leave England and make a new life for myself and the baby as soon as my grandfather returns.”

Leave England?
  The unexpected notion caught him completely off-guard.
 
“Like hell you will!”
 
Nicholas ground out, startling himself as much as Ashleigh who flinched at the sudden vehemence in his voice. 

“I would think that you would be relieved to be rid of me,” Ashleigh declared, her own voice beginning to rise.  “You have made no secret as to your opinion of me.  You consider me nothing more than an unscrupulous title-chaser and a trollop.  In fact, I am somewhat surprised that you didn’t simply leave me to die when you found me at the lodge.” 

Nicholas was taken aback by her words.  Christ, she couldn’t honestly think that he would have willingly left her there to die.  He recalled the overwhelming terror he’d felt when he had found her lying unconscious on the floor, and the crushing pain that had stabbed at his heart like the blade of a dagger as he’d feared the worst.

“It hardly matters in any event, for I have no intention of marrying you, now or ever.  Your wish has been granted, Your Grace.”

Hearing her flippant tone, Nicholas’ temper flared, but he managed to keep his composure.  “I am afraid that it is a bit late to play the martyr Ashleigh.  Considering the fact that you are carrying my child, my wishes are no longer relevant and neither are yours.”  When she merely stared at him in silence, her expression a combination of anger and rebellion, he felt his facial muscles tighten perceptibly.  If she thought to defy him in this, she was bound to be disappointed.  Striding across the room he stopped next to the bed, a look that brooked no argument upon his face.  “The die has been cast my dear.  Like it or not, you
will
become the next Duchess of
Sethe
.”