Until We Touch (15 page)

He told himself not to take offense at her words. His ability to be a good boyfriend wasn’t the issue on the table.

“You have a plan?” he asked cautiously.

“I did. I was going to sleep with you. I figured that would do it.”

Jack stared at her. “Excuse me?”

She actually smiled. “I wanted us to have sex.”

“Because it would be so awful that you wouldn’t be in love with me anymore?”

“No. I thought it would be pretty good. But if we were that close, I’d see your flaws more clearly and
then
I’d get over you.” Her smile was triumphant. “It’s a good plan.”

“What if I’m a god in bed?”

The smile widened. “Jack, I doubt you’re all that. Taryn says nice things, so I’m sure you’re fine. Don’t get defensive. It wasn’t about the sex, by the way. It was about being in a relationship.”

His head hurt. “So last night was on purpose?”

“Yes. I was trying to seduce you. It didn’t go well.”

It had gone just fine, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Stop being in love with me,” he told her.

“I agree, but telling me that isn’t going to work.” She looked up, her expression hopeful. “Are you open to the sex thing at all?”

Jack thought longingly of life on a deserted tropical island. One with a couple of coconut trees he could use for food. Just him and the ocean. It would be a good life. Lonely, but he would survive.

“No,” he said firmly and opened the door to her office.

“Are you sure? Because we could do it right here.”

He slammed the door behind him and started walking.

CHAPTER TWELVE

“Y
OU
HAVE
TO
fix this,” Jack said.

Taryn looked up from her computer. “No, I don’t. It’s your problem.”

Technically the problem was Larissa’s, he thought, but did that matter? He was stuck with the consequences.

“You created it,” she continued. “You and Larissa are enmeshed in some pseudomarriage, anyway. Neither of you is moving forward. The difference is, she had the sense to recognize it.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Taryn stood and walked out from behind her desk. She’d already kicked off whatever ridiculous shoes she’d worn into the office and was barefoot. She’d painted her toes purple. Who did that?

“Jack, you’re a good guy. A little too good. You don’t have a lot of annoying flaws. But you also don’t get involved.”

“Love is for suckers.”

“You don’t mean that.” She touched his chest. “Love is amazing.”

“I don’t want to hear about Angel.”

“Then I won’t say anything about him. My point is falling in love is part of the human condition. You’re trying to escape the inevitable and that’s not going well.”

“I don’t need to fall in love. I have all the connection I need.”

“No, you don’t. You have friends who love you, but that’s different. Don’t you want one special person who will always be there for you?”

“No.”

“Liar.”

“I like being alone.”

She shook her head. “That would be more believable if you were alone. But you’re not. You have Larissa. She’s the buffer who stands between you and the world. You get to play at things and not be involved on any level where you might get hurt. While that works for you, it’s no longer working for her. She’s in love with you and while she’s in love with you, she can’t find a man interested in forever and fall for him.”

Nothing he wanted to hear. “So her mother was right.”

“So it seems. Now this problem is yours. You’re going to have to figure out a way to solve it.”

* * *

B
EING
IN
LOVE
with Jack was less fun than Larissa had hoped. For one thing, now that he knew about her feelings, she rarely saw him. His ducking into offices and turning around and going the other way when he spotted her in the hall would have been funny—except it hurt too much for her to laugh.

She missed him, missed hanging out with him, talking to him. They hadn’t had dinner together, although Percy had come over with takeout twice. Takeout she was sure Jack had paid for.

Even worse, Jack hadn’t been in for any of his massages, which meant he had to be in pain. If he stood still long enough to listen, she was willing to explain that whatever her personal feelings, her work as his masseuse was separate from that. He needed help with his body.

She sat in her tiny office and tried to figure out how things had fallen apart so quickly. While she wanted to blame her mother, the other woman had only been speaking the truth. She’d seen what no one else had seen.

Which was great information but didn’t solve the problem.

Taryn walked into her office. Her friend looked nervous and wary—two emotions Larissa didn’t associate with her.

“What?” Larissa demanded. “Is someone hurt?”

“No,” Taryn said slowly. “Look, don’t shoot the messenger, okay? I’m telling you but I had no part in it. If he’d asked, I would have told him it was a disastrous idea.”

Larissa blinked at her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You will. Come on.”

Larissa followed her friend down the long hallway. They made a turn and ended up at the massage room. Larissa was about to ask what they were doing there, when she heard noises from inside. Noises that sounded suspiciously like music and conversation.

“Which of you is playing around in my personal space?” she asked as she opened the door. Because what she expected to find was Sam or Kenny doing something ridiculous. What she saw instead was Jack on her massage table while another woman worked on his shoulder.

The sharp pain of betrayal cut through to her heart. It wasn’t just that he’d gone to someone else, she thought frantically. It was that he’d violated what was theirs. He’d brought a stranger into a place that was supposed to be only for family.

The masseuse moved to cover Jack with the sheet. “Excuse me, we’re in the middle of a treatment. Could you please leave?”

Larissa didn’t recognize the woman. She must have come in from Sacramento. A long way to drive, she thought, still trying to process the ache filling her. Her whole body hurt and she had the strangest need to cry. Stupid tears, she told herself. Stupid man.

Larissa moved into the room. “You’re using the wrong music,” she said, her voice sounding like someone else was speaking. She wasn’t moving right, either. It was as if she were physically disconnected from her body.

“That’s Kenny’s mix. And the oil is wrong, too. Jack’s blend has anti-inflammatory properties.”

Jack sat up. “Larissa, I’m sorry.”

She couldn’t look at him. “I can’t believe you did this. You brought in someone else. How could you? If you didn’t want me to give you a massage, at least go to someone else. You’re in my
room.
” She shook her head. “How am I supposed to let this go? You violated my trust, Jack.”

He pulled the sheet across his body and stood. “Larissa, it wasn’t like that.”

She stared at the ground. “It was. You brought her here? How could you?”

Taryn stepped closer and put her hand on Larissa’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she murmured.

The masseuse looked between them. “What’s going on here? Are you two married or something? I’m just here to do a job.”

“Yes, you were,” Taryn said soothingly. “Go ahead and get your things. When you’re ready, come by my office and I’ll have a check waiting.”

* * *

J
ACK
HAD
SEEN
Larissa cry before, but always because of someone she’d met through their charity work. Either a transplant was delayed or didn’t take or a desperate family couldn’t find someone to take care of their other children who would be staying back at home.

Those tears he could handle. Most of the problems were solved by him writing a check. When there wasn’t an organ for transplant, he made phone calls or did a PSA. When he got visible, people checked the box on their driver’s licenses. When he appeared on late-night TV to promote the cause, there was press. Whatever it took to stop her tears.

He’d never once been the cause. Now, watching her blue eyes fill and her struggling not to let him see, he felt lower than slime.

The masseuse he’d hired through an agency gathered her things and left. Taryn shot him a glance that promised they would be discussing this later, and then he was alone with Larissa.

She walked over to the docking station and pushed a couple of buttons. The music changed to a contemporary mix that he always found so relaxing. She took away the oil the other woman had been using and pulled out another bottle. Then she washed her hands and moved next to the table.

“Lie back down,” she said, her voice thick with tears.

“Larissa, no.”

She sniffed. “You’re in pain. You’re my friend and my responsibility. I’m the reason you called in someone else. Because of the sex thing.”

“I...” He honest to God didn’t know what to say. Yes, that was the reason, but it still wasn’t her fault. “I should have said something. I should have let you know that I was uncomfortable.” He looked at the table. “We don’t have to do this.”

“We do. It’s the only way to make things right between us.”

He nodded once and stretched out facedown. She rearranged the sheet so he was covered from the waist down, then opened the bottle of oil. The familiar scent drifted to him and he closed his eyes.

Nothing made sense. Not her declaration of love nor her attempts to seduce him. He didn’t want her to love him—that way lay disaster. Lovers were easy, but people he trusted, people he counted on, those were much harder to find.

She touched his back, lightly stroking at first, then reaching for the deeper muscles. His tension began to fade. She moved up toward his bad shoulder and began the familiar ritual of finding every inch of scar tissue and loosening it. She dug in deep, hurting him in the best way possible.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“Shh. Don’t talk.”

“I have to talk. I’m sorry I hurt you, Larissa. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you directly.”

“I know.”

“It’s just, you shouldn’t be in love with me. I’m not a good bet.”

She gave a laugh that cracked in the middle, then sniffed. “It’s okay, Jack. I get it.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. What did she get? And why did he know that the hell he found himself in wasn’t over yet?

* * *

J
ACK
’
S
BAD
DAY
got worse when he went into town for lunch. An innocent enough errand, just not that particular day. There was a food truck that had a place by the park. They served the best sandwiches and wraps he’d ever had. Now he made it a habit to stop by a couple of times a week.

He’d chosen today because getting out of the office had seemed like a good idea. No one had said anything about the incident with the masseuse, but he knew
they
knew. Worse, Larissa had gone home early, claiming she wasn’t feeling well. He knew the truth. He knew he’d hurt her and that he was the lowest form of life there was.

The last thing he wanted was another warning conversation with Kenny, so he’d decided lunch out was a solution for all his ills. Only when he got in line, about six people back from the order window, he noticed a tall, lanky teen talking to a pretty girl. The girl was of average height, with auburn hair and green eyes. Pretty enough. Maybe too pretty.

Talking was fine, Jack thought, pleased Percy had made friends. Only then the girl put her hand on Percy’s arm and dammit it all to hell if Percy didn’t lightly kiss her.

Dating? Percy was dating? He’d only been in town, like, a month. How could he have found a girlfriend so quickly? This was something Jack didn’t need. Because teenaged boys were one giant walking, breathing hormone. They had one thing on their minds and it wasn’t how to study hard and better themselves. He’d ignored Larissa’s request to talk to Percy about safe sex. Turned out he should have listened.

Worse, this was Fool’s Gold. It was just a matter of time until everyone knew about Percy and the pretty redhead, and then there was going to be trouble. One of her parents would come calling to meet Percy’s “guardians.” What was Jack supposed to say? What did he really know about the kid?

The line moved. Percy and the girl placed their order. A few minutes later, Jack did the same. It was a testament to young love that they ate their entire lunch without noticing him only a couple of tables away. He waited until they’d said goodbye and Percy started back to the office to make his move. Jack walked behind him for a few feet, then increased his speed until they were level.

Percy grinned. “Hey, Jack. Were you in town for lunch, too? You should try the food truck, man. It’s great. The lady who runs it—Ana Raquel—is Dellina’s sister. Dellina is—”

“I know who Dellina is,” he said curtly. “And I just had lunch there.”

“You did? I didn’t see you.” Percy’s smile faded. “Oh. You saw me with Melissa.”

“I did.”

Percy came to a stop and faced him. The teen’s posture was defensive and combative at the same time. His shoulders were square and jaw thrust out.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said defiantly.

“I doubt that.”

“You think I don’t belong with her. Is it because of the color of my skin?”

“What? Your skin? No. I think it’s because you’re eighteen years old and your head is run by your dick.”

Percy’s mouth twitched. “That’s why you’re upset? You thinking I’m banging her? I’m not. She’s more important than that. We’ve only been seeing each other a couple of weeks.”

Jack rubbed his temple. “Percy, Fool’s Gold isn’t like Los Angeles. It’s a small town. People know things about each other. Melissa’s parents know their daughter is dating some guy they know nothing about. So they’re going to come looking for answers.”

“She doesn’t have parents. Not here. She lives with her aunt and uncle, when she’s not at college.” His mouth twitched again. “She’s a year older than me.”

“Oh, goodie.” Jack pointed toward the office. “Start walking and start listening. Like I said, this is a small town. Sure it’s nice to know a lot of people but that also means everybody gets to know your business. And in this case, your business is dating a hometown girl.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t see her?”

“No. I’m saying I’m going to be bringing you a box of condoms. A big box. When that box gets close to empty, let me know and I’ll buy another one.”

Jack didn’t look at Percy as they walked together and he really didn’t want to be having this conversation. He wasn’t the right guy for this. Surely that was clear to anyone who might be listening.

Percy chuckled. “You trying to tell me to have safe sex?”

“Yes,” Jack growled. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Put a hat on it, kid. Neither you nor Melissa want an unplanned pregnancy.”

“I know where babies come from.”

“Good. That will make it easier to keep it from happening without warning.”

“Melissa and I are taking things slow. Keeping ’em casual. She heads back to school in a couple of weeks, so I don’t think we’re going to be doing anything like that. But I promise, if we do, I’ll use a condom.”

Jack nodded. “You know how?” he forced himself to ask, and prayed the answer was yes.

“I do. I’ve been putting a ‘hat’ on it for a while now.” He chuckled. “Man, you are so old.”

“Thanks.”

Percy laughed harder. “You didn’t like this one bit, did you?”

“No.”

“But you got the job done. That’s something.”

If only it was enough.

* * *

L
ARISSA
DREW
THE
brush across Dyna’s back. The cat lay in a patch of sun, her eyes half-closed, her purring all rumbly.