Until The Sun Goes Down (Boundless Love Book 3) (7 page)

‘I don’t want to die either.’

‘Then don’t.’

‘Oh baby. I’ll do my best.’ She kissed her, but she knew that no matter how much she promised there were no guarantees.

Joy lay in her mothers arms, crying without a clue how to handle what had been said. Sahara felt just as helpless. But the words of her daughter made her think. She thought about how she’d battled and the attitude she’d mastered through it. Sahara knew that she may have been given eighteen months, but the truth was, she was the only one who could decide how long she would live. It was entirely up to her!

Chapter Six

Eugene squinted and looked across the room. He rubbed his eyes just to make sure he’d really seen what he’d seen. Sahara was dressed up in running gear, and took time to stretch.

‘Hey, honey. What are you doing?’

‘Getting warmed up to go for a run.’

He sat up and focused on her.

‘Don’t look at me like that.’ She giggled.

Over the past few weeks she’d done a lot of research and made a lot of changes. She’d instructed Lawrence on a different diet and had decided to take life by the horns. She was going to live the next eighteen months like she’d never done before.

‘You never told me you were going to start running.’

‘That’s because I didn’t want you to worry.’

‘But I’m worrying now.’

‘Don’t, I’ve instructed Seth with what I need.’

‘You’ve hired Seth?’ He laughed slightly. ‘I didn’t even know he was helping you.’

‘I asked him not to tell you. He’s worked out a running schedule for me.’

‘Oh, okay.’ He studied her.

‘I hope you don’t mind?’

‘Why would I mind? What’s mine is yours.’

‘Great.’ She walked towards him and perched on the bed.

‘Are we going to talk about it?’ he asked.

‘About what?’

‘I think you know.’

‘Honey, let’s not go down that road. I’m still here. Why do you want to talk about something that hasn’t happened yet?’

‘Because I do? I’m worried.’ He felt upset.

‘Honey, I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for me too. But if I spend the next eighteen months wallowing, I’m will miss out on life. Life is right now. I have right now.’

He sighed.

‘What do you want me to say?’

‘I want you to talk to me about it!’

‘Okay.’ She took his hand. ‘Is there anything you want to say?’ She didn’t know what he expected.

He squeezed her hand. His eyes glazed over.

‘Oh honey, I’m sorry.’

‘I’m terrified!’ He started. ‘I spend my nights thinking about what it would be like without you. I don’t think I can do this.’

She nodded. She understood, and just because she’d worked through it, didn’t mean he had.

‘I don’t want to raise Joy alone. I want you with me.’

‘I’m still here. And even though it may seem hard for you to understand that now, it’s true. I’m here, we’re raising Joy together. I’ll do my best to be here for a long time.’

‘Honey.’

‘It’s true. I’ve changed my diet; I’ve looked at the consultants you’ve recommended. In fact, I see one tomorrow. He says that he could shrink the tumours. But it would mean going through surgery again. He doesn’t promise a cure, but he can prolong my life.’

He was still upset.

‘Honey, I will do whatever it takes to stay with you and Joy for as long as I can. I’m not giving up, I promise.’

‘Promise?’

‘I promise. Look at me; I’m all ready to go running. I’m going to do the Great North, and I suggest you get yourself into shape to do it with me.’ She teased.

He smiled faintly.

‘I’m serious, you should join me.’

‘Okay, maybe tomorrow.’

She smiled, leaned forward and gave him a kiss. ‘Okay, tomorrow then. I better get downstairs.’

‘Sounds like Lawrence is in early.’

‘Yes I asked him to be. This is a good thing honey. We’ll be okay.’

He pursed his lips. He really wanted to believe that, but couldn’t get past the fact she’d been given a time to live.

‘I love you,’ she said as she stood up. ‘See you later.’ She left him and hurried downstairs.

Lawrence greeted her with a green smoothie. It was a mixture of raw vegetables and barley grass. She drank it down fast so as not to let the taste linger in her mouth.

‘Ugh!’ she let out after she’d done. ‘Keep them coming Lawrence. I must keep this body in tip top shape for as long as possible.’ She smiled.

‘I really admire your determination. You inspire me to live my life now.’

‘Aww Lawrence. That’s nice to say, and it makes me feel super inspired.’

‘It’s true.’ He moved to the sink and rinsed the glass. ‘Ever since you gave me instructions about your food, and the way you wake up every morning as if the world is yours, makes me want to do the same.’

‘And you should! Life’s now!’

She continued to do a few more stretches and thirty minutes later, Seth arrived to take her for the morning run. They’d work up in mileage slowly. The more she did, the fitter she would become, and the more energy she felt. She understood that when she did go for the chemo, she’d have to stop for a while, but she was determine to go back in with a vengeance.

‘So what made you want to do the Great North?’ Seth asked as they got into their second mile.

‘Justin. My life expectancy.’ She laughed lightly at the latter. ‘When I was told that I only had eighteen months to live, I thought I may as well die now.’ She took in a few breaths. ‘But after a while, I decided that I could spend the next eighteen months feeling sorry for myself and die quicker or I could take the life I have and live it to the fullest, and hope to God, I could prolong it a little.’

‘Wow, you’re an inspiration,’ he said.

‘I get that a lot.’ She giggled. ‘Seriously though, I’ve got to live my life. That’s not to say I’m not terrified. Sometimes at night I do lie awake and think about how much time I have left. But then when I wake up, realise it’s a new day, I take it for what it is.’

‘Good for you.’

‘Thanks Seth. I’ve tried to convince Eugene to join us, but I still think he’s struggling with this.’

‘I guess he needs time.’

She nodded, and tried to focus ahead. It wasn’t always easy running, but the more she pushed herself, the easier it became. They ended the run after three miles. Seth took her through some cool down exercises.

‘I’ll see you in two days. Take time to rest those muscles and keep to your diet,’ he said.

‘Oh I will. Thanks for today.’

‘You’re welcome.’

Eugene and Joy were at the breakfast table when she entered. Joy quickly gave her mother a hug. Sahara felt warm and knew she wanted to do this for as long as she could.

‘How was your run?’ he asked.

‘Amazing, I feel great. I’m sure I’ll be fit enough to do the marathon in eight months.’

Eugene was silent a moment. Eight months from now would mean she’d only have ten more months left. He hated living and feeling like that.

‘That sounds amazing. I’m sure you’ll do great.’

‘Honey?’ she could tell by the sound of his voice that it pained him.

‘I mean it. Don’t worry about me. I’ve decided to see someone.’

‘See someone?’ She sat down with them even though she was dying for a shower.

‘Yes, I need to talk to someone. This is hard for me.’

‘Okay, I understand.’ She looked over at Joy and wondered if she would need that too. ‘I really do.’

‘I want to be here for you, for your run and everything you want to do. I want to be in the right emotional state.’

‘I understand.’ She smiled.

Lawrence entered the dinning room with her breakfast. A bowl of fruit, yogurt, two boiled eggs and some toast. She tried to make sure the things she ate, wouldn’t be too hard on her bowels. So far things were running okay, and she would see the doctor soon.

‘Mummy, will you come with me to school today?’ asked Joy. 

‘What do you mean honey?’

‘I want you to ride with me in the car today, not Elodie.’

‘Oh, okay. If that’s what you want. I’ll let Elodie know.’

Joy smiled satisfied. Each day was a gift and Sahara made sure that her family had the gift of her having her around.

****

The days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Sahara kept up with the health regime and with her appointments. She had had several chemotherapy treatments with private doctors that Eugene had sourced. And over time they’d shrank the tumours, but not get rid of them.

Shrinking the tumours had made the pain bearable, and she didn’t have to rely so much on medication.

The day finally came when she would run the Great North with Eugene by her side. Elizabeth had been worried about how the training would put a strain on her body, but it had done the opposite. It had strengthened her body rather than weakened it.

Elizabeth, Joy, Emily and family, Felicity and Logan and many more came along to support Sahara. She couldn’t believe it herself, and the buzz and energy from the crowd made her feel proud indeed.

‘You ready?’ asked Seth who would help set the pace.

‘More than I’ll ever be?’ she said.

‘Yes, I’m ready.’

Eugene turned towards her and gave her a long hug. He shut his eyes and just felt her body next to his.

‘I love you,’ he said. ‘You’ve made me strong.’ He pulled back. ‘You’ve changed my world.’

‘Don’t make me cry,’ she laughed lightly. ‘I need to see the way.’

He laughed.

‘For Justin,’ she said and just then the race started.

At the seven mile mark, Sahara felt the exhaustion and some pain, but kept it to herself. But another mile in, a cramp in her calf forced her to slow down.

‘Shit!’ She walked.

‘What’s wrong honey? Are you okay?’ Eugene walked with her.

‘Cramp.’

Seth did his best to try to sooth it. She limped, and when she felt she could run again, she did so, slowly. It wasn’t just the pain in her leg she felt, she had also begun to feel pain in her abdomen, but Sahara wouldn’t to give up.

At ten miles she had to walk again.

‘You don’t look too great. Do you want to stop?’ asked Eugene.

‘Does it look like I want to quit!’ The pain and adrenaline had got to her.

‘I’m just saying. No need to bite my head off.’

She didn’t respond, instead she continued to walk until she could run again, but only slowly.

‘Only three more miles to go, I can do this. This is what I’ve been training for.’

Eugene took a glimpse at her. He loved her so much that at times it made him angry at her. Emotions had ravaged him the past few months, but he kept them in check.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said to him. ‘For snapping.’

‘I know.’ He did know.

‘Are you mad at me?’

‘Yes I’m mad at you. I want you to slow down.’

‘You know I can’t do that. I want to finish this race.’

‘I know. You’ve made it pretty clear. It’s just worrying.’

‘Don’t.’ She breathed. ‘I need this and you know it.’

He nodded. He bit back the words that were dying to come out. Who was he kidding? He was married to Sahara. The woman who never took no for an answer.

‘One more mile to go.’ She thought she might collapse, but she had to get to the finish line. Joy and everyone were depending on it. ‘Justin, help me out here, buddy.’ She raised her head to the sky. ‘This is for you and me buddy. I know you’re here with me.’

The last mile took its toil on her, but as she heard Joy shouting for her, she found the very last bit of strength to get through to the finish line!

‘That was some race,’ she said after she’d got her breath back.

‘Are you okay?’ Elizabeth asked.

‘I’m fine mum. I just need a very long rest. I’ll see the doctor tomorrow.’

‘Okay, I’m just checking. This was a very risky thing you pulled off.’

‘It was the best thing I’ve ever done. I feel so alive!’

Eugene hugged her. He was overwhelmed by it all. And in a way he was happy it was over.

The group finally made the journey home, where Lawrence had made a roast for all to enjoy. They sat down to the meal, happy. Sahara could see by the look in Joy’s eyes that she was so happy. It made her realise just how important the race had been.

‘To Sahara, you are the most stubborn woman I know, but you’re also the most inspiring woman I’ve met. I love you.’

‘To Sahara.’ They raised their glasses.

‘Aww, thank you honey! This has been an amazing journey. The training and to finally run the race, I never thought I’d finish it.’

‘But you did,’ said Emily. ‘You’re one hell of a woman.’