Untamed (A Moretti Novel) (12 page)

Steve rubbed her back and she relaxed into him.  “I’m all ears.”

“A couple weeks ago I applied for a new job.”  She drew circles on his stomach with her finger.  His muscles rippled under her touch.  “I am totally unqualified for it so I never thought I even had a chance.  They called me two days ago and offered me the position.  It’s an amazing opportunity for me.  I’d be teaching special education classes and I’ve wanted to do that as long as I can remember.  It still doesn’t feel real.”

Steve hugged her closer.  The
excitement was obvious in his voice.  “Lil, that’s amazing news.  I’m so proud of you.  When do you start that?”

Her eyes filled with tears, the drops landing against his chest
.  “I start the first Monday in August.  The pay is double what I’m making now and the retirement benefits are unbelievable.  It would be a brand new start.  I’m terrified and excited at the same time.  And, I miss home like crazy.”

Steve’s hand stopped m
oving.  He took a deep breath when he noticed his chest was wet.  Fear made him shiver as he realized she was crying.  “Where’s the job, Lil?”

“The University of Georgia.”

Steve sat up, heartbreak written all over his face.  He placed his hands on the side of her face, wiping her tears with his thumbs.  “Why?”

“It’s the right time.  I’m homesick; I miss my family so much.  I don’t love my job here.  I don’t feel like I make any difference here.”  She covered his hands with hers. 

“You make a difference to me.”  He whispered.

She closed her eyes as her heart shattered.  “I know.”  She whispered.  “But if I don’t leave now, it will just get harder.  I want so much more and it h
urts.  Not just me, I hurt Damien.  I have to go.”

“Baby, please look at me.”  Steve begged. 

“Please don’t make this harder.  Leaving you is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”  She wiped her face and shook her head.  “This is home for you.  You have a job that you love.  Your friends are awesome.  Kevin has Andi and he’s finally settled.  Sophie found Mark and Layla found Ryan.  I adore Jena and Caleb.  But it doesn’t feel like home for me. I came out here to be in Sophie’s wedding and absolutely fell in love with the life she had.  I got to meet Kevin and watch him fall in love with Andi and I am so thankful for that. And through it all, I met you. You are everything, Steve.”

“I can’t believe you’re leaving.”  Steve’s voice cracked.

“We just need to make the best of the next few days.”  She tried to smile.

“What do yo
u mean days?  You aren’t starting for three months.” 

“I’m flying home Friday.  I’ll pay rent until you find a roommate.”

“Jesus.”  Steve stood up and paced.  “I don’t give a shit about that.  I could buy this whole fucking apartment complex if I wanted to.  I don’t want your money, Lil.  I want you.”

“You’ll still have me.  We can talk on the phone and we’ll see each other.  We’ll video chat.  It
’ll be like I never left.”  She knew it wasn’t true but she didn’t want to hurt him anymore than she already had.

“
How can you say that?  I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.  I know I’m being selfish Lil, but you’re why my life is full.  You’re why I smile and laugh every day.  You make me believe shit is possible again.  I don’t want you to go.”  He ran his hands through his hair.  He knew he was being unreasonable but for the first time since Amber, he felt like he could let someone in.  She was walking out of his life and he was losing someone else that mattered. 

“I feel the same way about you.  We will always be in each other’s lives.”

“Stay, Lil.  Stay here with me.  Give us a chance.”  Steve knelt in front of her.

“What?”  Lily’s eyes were wide.

“I want a chance.  Don’t walk away now.  I’m broken and I don’t trust easily.  I’m fucked up when it comes to relationships.  But you love me anyway.  That deserves a chance.”

“Steve.”  Lily cried for the second time.  “I can’t just give you a chance because you’re afraid you’ll lose me.  You won’t.  We will always be in each other’s lives.  Don’
t do this.  Please.  It’s an amazing opportunity for me.  Don’t make me feel guilty about it.”

Lily ran her hand down his face before standing to leave.  She wanted to throw her arms around him and take the chance that she had been praying for.  Part of her wanted to pretend that was real and he wasn’t just afraid to lose her.  She’d never wanted a future with anyone but Steve.  Every step she took reminded her that walking
away was going to hurt.  She didn’t want to be his by default.  More than that, she never wanted him to resent her for making him choose her just so he wouldn’t be alone. 

When his bedroom door clicked shut, Steve collapsed onto his bed.  Tears flowed freely for the first time since he caught Amber.  This felt so much worse. 
Was he just saying those things to make her stay?  Was he that selfish?  He hugged his pillow closer to his body.  It was too late.  She’d been right under his nose for all this time and he’d been too scared to realize how much she meant to him.  Telling her now meant making her give up something she had dreamed about for so long.  He couldn’t do that.  If he truly loved her, he needed to let her chase her dreams.  He would stay in touch with her and if it ever felt right, he would confess his feelings for her.  Until then, he would fake a smile as he watched the person that meant more to him than anyone in the world walk away to find her future.

He pulled his phone from the nightstand.
 
The way you inspire me. I love you more than you realize.

The week had been the fastest
week in history.  Steve had helped Lily pack up her classroom while she said goodbye to the kids that had changed her life.  He had packed endless boxes of shoes and girly crap and sent them to her apartment in Georgia.  The station had been great with the last minute time off request.  Jennifer had stepped up and taken the bulk of the morning show despite all the sadness in her life.  He’d taken Lily out to dinner every night.  They’d spent countless hours together and it still didn’t feel like enough.

Now Steve sat on the couch in their living room watching her say goodbye to Kevin.  It was heartbreaking to watch such a tough man break down with a goodbye.  He knew exactly what he was feeling and it wasn’t easy to watch.  Tomorrow they would all head to the airport to say goodbye.  Ryan, with all his ass kissing skills, had gotten them clearance to say goodbye at the gate.  He would be
so thankful for that tomorrow as he watched her walk away.  It was becoming hard to breathe.

“I’m
gonna head out.  I’ll see you tomorrow at the airport.”  Damien squeezed Steve’s shoulder.

“Yeah, man.  See you then.”

Steve watched Damien leave.  The lucky bastard was going to be flying home with her.  What were the odds that his summer tour started in Atlanta?  Slim to none but it was happening and Damien would be sitting next to her on the cross country flight taking her to the next chapter in her life.  He had debated asking to tag along but he wasn’t sure where they stood and didn’t want to be a witness to that.  He was heartbroken enough. 

Lily shut the door.  The lock turning got Steve’s attention.  She slid to the ground and covered her face with her hands.  Her shoulders shook as she cried. Another piece of his heart was lost.  He sat down across from her and pulled her into his lap.  She buried her face in his neck. 

“Saying goodbye to him was so hard.  I don’t think I’ll be able to say bye to you.  I didn’t know it would be this bad.” 

He ran his hands through her hair.  If he could shelter her from the pain, he knew he would.  “It will be ok.  I won’t let you fall apart. 
You’ll be back here in two months for a visit.  And I’ll come out there for Labor Day.”

“Promise?”
  Her lip poked out and it was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

“I promise.”  Steve chuckled.  “Besides, your sister is so excited that you’re coming home.  I’m sure your dad is already trying to figure out what excuses he’ll use to come by your place every night.” 

This was going to kill him.  If he lived through their goodbye, it would be a miracle.  He had to find the strength to hold it together for her.  He’d been so selfish when she told him she was leaving.  He needed to make sure she knew that she was strong enough to take this next step.  He wanted her to know that he would always be here for him, no matter what she had to tell him.

Steve’s mind wandered to what could be ahead for them.  Would she meet someone at the university that she couldn’t live without?  Would she run into an old flame from college that was teaching there and realize they had been good together?  How would he react when she called to tell him that she had met someone and was getting married?  Would he pray that he got hit by a bus or would he fly out to Georgia for their wedding and watch another man win the woman that held his heart?  He wanted to believe that he would always do what was best for her but he wasn’t sure he could ever watch someone steal her heart. 

“I think everything’s packed.  We should probably get some sleep.  It’ll be a long day tomorrow.”  Steve stood up and offered his hand to help her.

“Ok.”  She wiped her tears.  “Can I sleep with you?”

Steve smiled.  “Of course you can.  That would probably do us both some good.”

Lily put her hand on his chest.  Their eyes locked.  “Will you hold me?”

“You never have to ask.  There’s nothing I love more.”  Steve took her hand and led her to his bedroom.

Chapter 15

Steve took extra care in tucking Lily in.  He pulled the covers over her and tucked them around her body, cocooning her in his blanket.  She giggled the whole time but he didn’t care.  This was their last night together and he wanted to show her how special she was.  He kissed the top of her head before turning off the lamp next to the bed.  He stepped out of his shoes, dropped his jeans onto the floor and then crawled in next to her. 

Her smell instantly surrounded him.  It was tropical fruit heaven and he wanted a taste.
In attempt to find her hand, his fingers brushed against her hip and she sighed.  That sound filled his dreams.  It was sensual and innocent mixed together and possibly the hottest sound on earth.  His body responded instantly.  He would miss the sexual torture that she didn’t realize she subjected him to on a daily basis. 

Her fingers brushed his and he was home. 
As she rolled toward him, she ran her foot up the length of his calf then settled her leg inches from where he needed her.  The simple act caused his breath to hitch.  His entire body responded, hardening, longing to own her.  Lily’s fingers ran over the muscles in his abdomen, up his pecs and finally across his bottom lip.  His tongue flicked against her fingertip and that was all the encouragement she needed.

Lily
rolled on top of Steve, straddling his waist.  Her lips were less than an inch from his.  Her silky hair fell loose around them, tickling his chest, igniting his blood even more. He felt her breath on his face.  Her blue eyes locked onto his and he felt it in the depths of his heart.  She licked his top lip, never breaking eye contact.  His hands grasped her hips in an attempt to keep control of his body.  Her tongue ran the length of his jaw before her teeth nipped at his earlobe. 

“I need you inside me.”  Her breathy whisper in his ear was enough to make him
moan.  “I want to make love to you.”

His body was trembling.  “Fuck.”  He gripped her hips tighter and rolled her onto her back. 
“If this is all we get, I want you to get lost in me all night.”

“Please don’t make me wait.  I need you.”  Lily pulled his shirt over his shoulder
s and sat up to give him an invitation to do the same. 

He pulled her satin camisole top over her head, revealing her perfectly round breasts. 
Her pink buds straining, begging to be touched.  His fingers ran up her rib cage and he cupped her breast. She bit her lip as he gently rolled her nipples between his thumb and index finger. She arched into him, whispering his name.  She was perfection. 

“I won’t kiss your lips, but I want to taste every other inch of you.”  Steve’s hooded eyes seemed to pierce her soul.
  He pulled her panties from her legs and threw them across the room.