Unstoppable (22 page)

Those subjected to lengthy periods of severe bullying tend to be loners and introverts with low self-esteem who are more inclined to flee than fight. It’s
also true that minorities and people with physical and mental disabilities are often the victims of sustained bullying, shunning, and other abuse.

When I was a lad, bullying was not considered a serious problem. Many people thought of it as a part of life or something that everyone learns to deal with. But the level of bullying has escalated around the world. People are dying because of it, and lives are being permanently damaged.

If you know someone who may be targeted, whether a friend, family member, classmate, or coworker, I encourage you to be on the lookout and to be ready to reach out. Experts say the common signs that someone is the victim of bullying include:

I know from experience that the victims of bullies often hide their distress and depression from their families and friends, either out of embarrassment or from fear of making things worse. Most can’t see a way to escape their tormentors, which can lead to tragic consequences. That appears to have happened with Jeremiah Lasater and Amanda Cummings.

I didn’t tell my parents when I was picked on, because I didn’t want to upset them or to be a burden to them. I figured I had to either let it go or handle it myself. Victims of bullying
do
need help. Even though they may not ask for assistance, they may welcome any quiet efforts to alleviate the situation. One of the factors that hurt most about my encounters with my nemesis Andrew was the lack of compassion from schoolmates who witnessed his verbal attacks but did nothing to help me. I’m glad that I eventually stood up to Andrew and even more grateful that he backed down. But I often wondered where the good Samaritans were in those days.

The Bible tells us that “an expert in the law” once tried to test Jesus by asking, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus asked the expert what was written in the law.

“ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind,’ ” the expert replied. “And ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”

The law expert then asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Jesus responded by offering the renowned story of the good Samaritan in which a traveler was robbed, beaten, and left for dead on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho. Two people passed by without offering any help, but a third man, who was from Samaria, went to his aid. The Samaritan treated and bound the victim’s wounds, put him on his donkey, and took
him to a hotel where he cared for him. Before leaving the recovering traveler, the Samaritan also gave him money and promised to return to check on him.

After telling this story, Jesus asked the law expert which of the three passersby was a true neighbor to the robbery victim and he replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

To that Jesus replied, “Go and do likewise.”

I urge you to do likewise.

The Bible also instructs us, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” This is known as the Golden Rule, and it is one of the most basic principles of Christian living. It goes hand in hand with the commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself” and with the assurance that as we treat others, God will treat us likewise.

God wants us to do the right thing, and that includes never letting another person suffer if you can help it. The traveler found by the good Samaritan had been bullied, beaten, and robbed. Jesus didn’t waffle on what He expects us to do if we find someone in that situation. As God’s children, we are expected to help one another. Standing by and watching someone be harassed, pushed around, ridiculed, and marginalized is not Christian behavior, neither is it humane. Most people would not let an animal be mistreated like that, much less a human being.

The good Samaritan didn’t just offer a word of encouragement. He interrupted his own journey, treated the wounds of the beaten man, took him to a safe place, and made sure he was taken care of until he recovered. The Bible offers no description of the robbery victim, and I think that’s
because Jesus wants us to be good Samaritans to anyone in need, whether they are like us or not.

With that in mind I encourage you to reach out to anyone you think may be a target. You can help without putting yourself in harm’s way. If you fear for your own safety, go to a trusted teacher, administrator, boss, security person, or law enforcement professional and give them the information, then ask them to intervene. Because bullying has resulted in so much violence in the schools and the workplace in recent years, your concerns will be taken seriously.

Every case is different, and every person who is bullied has unique abilities for dealing or not dealing with it. Most experts advise against physical confrontations if you can help it. Even if you win a fight with a bully, there is no guarantee that will be the end of your troubles.

These are the generally recommended steps:

There is another form of bullying that has become prevalent with the increasing popularity of communication over the Internet and through texting
on cell phones. This is generally known as cyberbullying, and even though the person doing the intimidating isn’t present, this form of harassment is every bit as harmful as any other. Often, but not always, the bully involved may be harassing the same victim in person too. It’s also not unusual for both parties to cyberbully each other with threats, rumors, and nasty comments.

Cyberbulling has been cited as a factor in a number of teen suicides in recent years. Ryan Halligan, a Vermont eighth-grader, took his own life in 2003 after rumors about him were spread on the Internet. His father described it as a “feeding frenzy” in which kids who normally didn’t do such things were joining in the cruelty. In another high-profile case, Megan Meier of Missouri was allegedly driven to suicide in 2006 by online bullying from a classmate’s mother.

Because of so many high-profile cases involving suicides and cyberbullying, many governments now have laws against using the Internet or cell phones to harass or intimidate others. If you feel someone is tormenting you with e-mails, social media posts, or text messages, there are many ways to respond. If you are living at home, you should alert your parents right away, so they can decide what to do.

If you are a victim of bullying, remember that the most important battle you must win is the one within. What someone else says or does to you should never define who you are. God created you for a purpose. You have value in His eyes. Put your faith in that, and then put that faith into action by rising above any criticism, gossip, or abuse that happened in the past. You were perfectly made by God. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

A bully wants you to believe that you are less than you are, because putting you down makes the bully feel superior. You don’t have to play that game. Focus instead on building upon your gifts. God will take care of the
rest. Joy and fulfillment will come as you walk the path created for you and only you.

One way to move ahead in a positive direction if you have faced bullying or harassment is to focus on helping others and to make a positive difference in their lives, which I promise will make a wonderful difference in yours too. In my travels I’ve come across many dedicated and selfless people who’ve risen above their own challenges by reaching out to others. Some of them have been bullied and threatened for their efforts, yet they persevered.

As I noted earlier, there are many forms of bullying in this world. Anytime someone deprives another person of security, freedom, and peace of mind is essentially a human rights violation. Bullying is one form that is experienced by most people in some way. The most severe forms of human rights violations practiced around the world today include ethnic cleansing (also known as genocide), racism, persecution for religious beliefs or sexual orientation, sex slavery, human trafficking, and mutilation.

I’ve witnessed the horrors of human rights abuse in many forms across the globe. In
Life Without Limits
, I wrote of the “Street of Cages,” the center of prostitution and sex slavery in the slums of Mumbai, India, where the Reverend K. K. Devaraj, founder of Bombay Teen Challenge (BTC), works tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of women and children from enslavement, physical abuse, poverty, sexually transmitted diseases, and drug addiction.

My ministry supported “Uncle Dev” in his extraordinary work in Mumbai, and I was delighted to learn of another Christian who put his faith in action at a high level to raise funds for Bombay Teen Challenge. In
fact, this unusual fellow is both a Christian and a knuckleballer. In January 2011 major-league pitcher R. A. Dickey of the New York Mets raised funds and awareness for BTC during his climb to the nineteen-thousand-foot-high summit of Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa. Upon reaching the top after a forty-mile hike, he sent the message, “God is good.” I appreciate what R. A. Dickey did in making Uncle Dev’s great organization the beneficiary of his adventure, especially since the Mets told their star pitcher that if he was injured during his climb, it might void his $4.5 million contract.

There are many people around the world who put their faith in action to fight for human rights and against abuse of the weak and powerless. One of the most dedicated I know is an intelligent young woman who easily could focus solely on her career as a lawyer in California. I met Jacqueline Isaac, who is about my age, through her parents, Victor and Yvette. They are all dedicated and brave Christian evangelists doing God’s work in the Arab world through their nonprofit organization Roads of Success. They produce an Arab-language Christian television show called
Maraa Fadela
(Virtuous Woman), which is hosted by Yvette and offers educational and inspirational material. Arabs around the world watch their shows by satellite.

Just a short time before I met Yvette, a disabled man in a wheelchair approached her outside her church in Egypt. He tugged on her sleeve and asked, “You are so focused on the needs of women and children. When are you going to start caring about
our
needs? We need help too.”

Yvette felt badly but explained that she was not connected to any person or organization that ministered to people with disabilities.

The man in the wheelchair responded, “This is a message from God. He will bring you the person who will help you grow your disabled ministry. But don’t be like the others. Do the work that is needed for us.”

A week or so later a priest mentioned to Yvette that he’d seen a video of a young man who would make a great guest for her television program—me! She contacted Life Without Limbs and invited me to appear on her show. We became instant friends. I call Yvette my Egyptian mother. (No, not
mummy
!)

Although the Egyptian government at that time did not exactly welcome Christian evangelists into the country, Yvette is so respected that she was able to arrange a mission tour for me. My message about overcoming disabilities and other challenges was given wide coverage in the media and led to my meeting many government officials and leading personalities, including the mayor of Alexandria and the princess of Qatar, Sheika Hissa Khalifa bin Ahmed al-Thani, who works with the United Nations on issues affecting disabled people.

With the support of many influential leaders, Yvette helped me organize a 2008 event in which I hoped to speak (with her translating) to about two thousand people in Cairo. We were amazed when
twenty
thousand showed up, making it one of the largest gatherings of Christians in the nation’s modern history. The success of that event opened the doors for me into many other Middle Eastern nations, including Kuwait and Qatar.

The Isaac family has embraced me and joined in my work on behalf of the disabled around the world. They do so many good things it is hard to keep up. They are also activists working to end traditions in that part of the world that suppress human rights, hinder education, endanger health, and oppress and harm women. In addition to their television and Internet ministry, they promote Christian concerts and evangelical events, sponsor mission trips, and conduct prayer initiatives.