Unstable (36 page)

Keaton sits beside me and links our fingers together, resting our joined hands on his thigh.

“That’d be great,” Mike answers, giving his wife a tense grin and sitting up straighter.

I announce I’m ready to talk, then clam up, palms sweaty. I suddenly have no idea how to open or exactly what to say. I’ve never been in their shoes—married, a child, chasing dreams that hinge on what ifs and most likely seem unattainable. And with the apprehension that comes with those thoughts, my throat begins to tighten.

Keaton, of course, picks up on my anxiety and speaks first.

“We didn’t go into a lot of details before, so why don’t you tell us…when you’re looking to move, what kind of payment you’re hoping for, and if your long-term goal is to own or simply rent?”

I rub our hands on his thigh, thanking him for always seamlessly picking up the ball when I drop it.

“Okay,” Mike adjusts in his seat, scratching his chin. “You taking this or am I?” He consults his wife.

Another point in this family’s favor in my mind. They’re a team—I like that.

“I can,” Bri answers him. “While you figure out why your daughter’s being so quiet over there.”

We all laugh and look over to investigate.

“Hey boy, I was wondering when you’d come say hello,” I coo at Bourbon, who’s finally joined the party, hiding under the table and gobbling up every bite of the food Brooke is sneaking him.

“What’s his name?” she asks, now that she realizes she’s caught. I bet she’s been dying to ask, but didn’t so as to keep their little arrangement concealed as long as possible.

I tell her it’s Bourbon and she giggles, turning a toothless smile on me. “Like the whiskey?”

Of course she knows what Bourbon is—probably knows how it’s made and where it originated too. Absolutely brilliant.

“Yes, like the whiskey,” my voice fades on the last word in reminiscence.

“Michael, how does your daughter know what whiskey and Bourbon are?” Bri asks, wearing a scowl that matches her tone.

“
Really?
” he says mockingly. “Brooke, honey, what are the five biggest states? In order from largest to smallest please.”

Her tiny nose scrunches and her mouth twists, then she spouts off, “Area or population?”

“Area is fine, sweetie.”

She ticks them off on her chubby little fingers. “Alaska, Texas, California, Montana, and New Mexico.”

“And how old is…Bill Clinton?” he asks.

It takes her about thirty seconds of more face scrunching. “Our forty-second President, William Jefferson Clinton, is sixty-nine.”

Mike doesn’t say a word, just turns to his wife and gives her a gratified smile. Keaton, on the other hand, can’t help himself.

“Holy shit. Oh, sorry, my bad on the cursing. But…is she right?” he asks in astonishment.

“Yes, she’s right,” Bri concedes with a huff. “I hate it when he does that. Heaven forbid I’d prefer she sticks to facts like those and not know about alcohol at six.” Memories of my own mother feeling the exact same way flash briefly through my mind. “But he loves to use that little game to remind me, there’s not much she doesn’t know.”

“Don’t worry, Mommy, I’ve never drank any.”

“Oh, well then,” even Bri laughs along with the rest of us at that one, “I feel so much better now. Thank you for abstaining, honey.”

“You’re welcome,” Brooke chirps, and slips Bourbon another bite.

“Anyway, as we were discussing,” Bri reels us back in on topic. “We’d be ready to move in thirty days. That’s the required notice on our current place. And, of course our goal is to eventually own, but right now, renting is the only realistic option. With Brooke in school, I’ve returned as well, to work on my veterinarian license. That will take me a while, so Mike’s income is all we have at the moment.”

I can feel Keaton’s gaze on me without looking away from Bri. He knows precisely what I think about what she just said—a veterinarian. The one thing I had mentioned this town needed.

I have to ask.

“So, when you’re licensed, do you plan to open a clinic here in Ashfall?”

“Yes, definitely. Not only is it crazy we don’t already have one, but we want to keep our roots planted here.”

Keaton chuckles. “Bri, you have no idea how happy you’ve made my Henny. She’s about to plumb burst, ‘cause she was just griping not too long ago about the same thing, no clinic here.”

“I wasn’t
griping,
” I mumble, “but I
was
commenting on the insanity of it. I can’t wait for you to open a place. You’ll no doubt be highly successful with that.”

“I sure hope so,” she smiles.

“With Mike working and you going to school, who will work your farm?” Keaton asks.

With merely a quick side-glance, Bri hands this one to her husband to answer.

“I’m hoping that working a farm
will
be my job,” Mike states.

“And I’m hoping to be his handy-dandy farmhand,” Brooke adds.

“As far as rent, I’d feel more comfortable if you proposed that number. I don’t want to insult you, or overshoot myself in the foot.” Mike shallowly laughs at the end, diverting his eyes for a split second.

“I don’t even know which farm we’re considering,” Keaton raises his eyebrows at me and smirks. “So now I’m passing it back to Henny.”

I take a deep breath, then another, still needing more. “I…just need a final minute, to consider everything. I swear, I won’t be long and this will be the last time I make you wait.” I stand, stopping Keaton with a hand on his shoulder when he tries to do the same. “Brooke, would you like to go see those horses now? If that’s okay?” I ask her parents, who both nod.

“Yes!” she shrieks, jumping out of her chair.

“Alright then,” I laugh. “Let’s go. We’ll be back soon.”

AS WE DRIVE TO
the horse barn, I think back to what my mom said in my dream—about giving this house another chance to make a new, whole family happy.

They are
the
perfect family to choose.

And I have, in my hands that were useless for so long, the power to change their lives. To give this little girl, with her face currently pressed to the window in anticipation, a great chance at a gloriously happy childhood.

We pass by the farmhand cabin and I think of Gatlin. I wonder where he is right now, praying it’s somewhere of his dreams, and he’s happy there. Such an intricate part of my life, even in what short amount of time he was in it. He left an impact that helped me heal, change, forgive…and live again.

If life truly has any hand in destiny, and doling it out deservedly—Gatlin, wherever he may be, is happy.

When we pull up to the barn, Brooke jumps out of the truck and takes off running so fast it scares me.

“Sweetie, wait for me. I need to turn on the lights and be right beside you. Horses can get spooked easily.”

“I know. Walk up to them slowly on the front left side so they can see me and don’t stare in their eyes. And talk nicely, tell them I’m coming.”

Damn…this kid.

“That’s all exactly right and very smart, Brooke, but I’d still like to be with you.”

“Yes, ma’am.” She stops cold and waits for me.

I catch up, slide open the doors…and go in with her. Just like my old bedroom, I take sure steps on sturdy legs into a place that, for anyone else, I’d balk at entering so casually.

I flip on the main light and revel in Brooke’s sudden, sigh of wonderment.

“I see them,” she whispers, “but we need to be quiet. They could be sleeping. Horses can sleep standing up. Did you know that?”

“I did,” I whisper back. “But good thinking.”

And just out of curiosity, ‘cause I’m doubtless that she’ll know the answer…and I don’t…I ask her, “What other animals sleep standing up?”

“Zebras and elephants,” she proudly replies, instantly. “Cows can, but usually don’t. Oh, and flamingos. Henley,” she looks up at me, “thanks for asking.”

“Um, you’re welcome?” My brow folds in confusion at her odd statement.

“Most people are sick of my fun facts, but not you. I love trivia, and you’re not tired of playing yet, and you ask a lot of other questions too. That’s my favorite part of us being friends.”

“I have another question.” I temper a straight face.

“What is it?” Her green eyes positively twinkle.

“Are you ready to go meet the horses?” Now a small snicker escapes me.

She whisper-shouts, “I sure am!” and takes my hand, leading the way with tiny, tentative steps. “You should be the one to talk, introduce me.”

“Right, of course. Hello beauties, how are you tonight? I’ve brought my friend Brooke to meet you all.”

“That one first.” She points to Barley—a girl after my own heart—he was my immediate favorite too.

We approach him and it’s fascinating to watch, how like Brooke and I, the two of them fall into a hard and fast bond with each other. She’s cooing and petting while Barley eats it up, rubbing against her hand. Oh yeah—match made in heaven.

After a while, I remind her there’s two others to meet because honestly, I think she’s forgotten.

We go meet Scotch and Rye, quickly, because while she likes them just fine…she’s made her choice. And it’s Barley.

I let her spend a little more time with him, then reluctantly tell her it’s time to get back to her parents.

And her fate.

Which, of course, I don’t say to her, but it’s true. Everything is finally, wholly, settled in my mind and heart…and I can’t wait to tell everyone. Not a single sliver of doubt remains within me and I’m beyond certain my plan is the right one—and would make my mom and sister proud.

“Barley, Scotch and Rye,” Brooke assesses aloud on the ride back. “Hmmm. Henley, do your cows have names?”

“No,” I laugh. “Why do you ask?”

“Can I pick one out and name it ‘CC,’ for my daddy?”

“Sure, any one you want. Why ‘CC?’”

“It’s short for Crown and Coke. That’s what Daddy drinks.”

I push the brakes, laughing too hard to drive. This beautiful, amazingly astute child…she’s the freshest breath of air one can inhale. A star so bright you almost can’t look directly at her without squinting from the light she puts off.

One in a million.

And she found me.

“Hey, Brooke?”

“Yes?”

“I still need to talk to your parents, but I’m pretty sure we’re about to be neighbors. If you promise me one thing.”

“What?” She grins, bouncing in her seat.

“Always tell your Mom or Dad first, but promise me that you’ll come over and visit me as often as you can. At least like three times a week. Or more. Promise?”

“Promise!” She bobs her head and claps.

Time to go and make the Kings an offer they can’t refuse.

“YOU GOOD?” KEATON MOUTHS
to me when Brooke and I return, finding that they’ve all moved to sit in the living room.

I nod assuredly and give him a full, confident smile. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life as I am on my decision. No more contemplating or dodging the moment of truth, where I speak my proposal aloud, unable to take it back.