UNSHAKABLE (Able Series Book 4) (6 page)

As soon as we’re settled inside, Darcee groans, “Stop! I forgot my phone. Can you go with me, Bry?” Her fake tone puts me on the defensive.

Even though my brain screams set-up, my body refuses to move—to run. Travis exits with Sarah, Jared stands outside waiting for Bry and Darcee leaving Damien and me alone. God, kill me now! So far I’ve been successful at avoiding any direct communication with him, except for now. Right now is a bad time to run away since I’m bone tired with very limited movement. I internally cast bad juju at my friends whom I know have their names written all over this.

Without facing me he says, “You’re over doing it, Sophia. You have to stop this.”

I don’t answer, not a single peep. Why should I? It’s not as though it’ll make a difference. Dancing is the only thing I can control and have control over, so giving it up, slowing down, or stopping aren’t options. It’s not even up for discussion. His audacity of telling me I have to stop makes my already boiling blood rage like the fires in hell.

Perhaps, my silence uses up all his stored patience, because he turns to face me without his trusted Oakley’s covering his eyes. If he thinks I’m going to cower and back down from his death glare, he’s got another thing coming.

“What are you trying to prove, Sophia?”

“Who says I’m trying to prove anything?” I shrug.

He shakes his head as he tries his hardest to temper his emotions. “Then please explain to me why you’re killing yourself? You’ve been dancing twelve hours a day for the past month.”

“I have a recital coming up. Dancing is my
job,
and I
love
doing it.” I know it’s childish to throw his words back at him, but if he can do it, give me up for his job, then I can surely do it, too.

“I know why you’re doing this. I’m not dumb, Sophia. You can punish me, but don’t hurt yourself doing it. You want to have a go at it? You want to hit me? Do.It. I’d rather feel the sting of your anger than see you suffer from it because of me! It’s not fair that you’re doing this!”

I lean into his face, my own anger teetering at the edge of explosion. “I can’t control your perception, Damien. I’m doing what I love, just as you do. Surely, you can understand, right? After all, you told me the same thing. So, why don’t you do
your
job and get Darcee. I’m tired of waiting.”

“You’re just as spoiled, just as selfish as the day you hit Tami.”

“And you’re just as bullheaded, just as arrogant! Funny how you always use the worst day of my life as a reference.” The bite in my words surprise him enough to shut him up. The awkward silence that surrounds us sparks a memory.

As the cold December air pricks my skin, nothing can compare to the happiness surrounding me as Damien and I sit on the stairs of the Lincoln Memorial one night. We’re talking like two adults, calling a truce to the stressful situation created by our secret feelings toward each other.

“What do you do on your days off?”

“I run, talk to my mom and my sister, swing by the office. It’s all mundane stuff, Sophia. I lead a very boring life.” He chuckles as his eyes do another quick pass of our surroundings.

“Do you have a girlfriend back home?”

The moment those words leave my mouth, I want to slap myself. Why? Why ask him that?

I turn to look at his face, his eyes cast across the Reflecting Pool. “No.” He shakes his head still avoiding my gaze. “I have no one.”

“Do you like someone? I mean, you must . . . you know . . . no one really wants to be alone. I mean . . . I don’t want to be alone.” I look into the distance, embarrassed at my brazen question, but I could still see his lips tilting into a smile from the corner of my eyes.

He stays quiet for a while, probably pondering what he could say. I wait, looking at the few people milling about, silently berating myself for asking that stupid question. The peace this place gives me is indescribable, and I’m thankful I get to sit here and enjoy it with him.

“I have someone special, though I can’t say that I have her physically. She’s close, so close I can see the pulse ticking on her neck, the way she fidgets and plays with her fingers when she’s nervous, or the way she bites on her lip when she’s trying to think of what to say to me when she tells me off. I see her beautiful smile that lights up a room each day,” he says. A hint of laughter coats his voice. “She makes me laugh with her antics that she might think annoys me, but in reality it’s a nice reprieve in my rather square life. But, nothing more can ever happen because we’re two different people living in different worlds. And though it’s painful to accept, I’d rather be around her as her shield than be erased from her life all together.”

I whisper, “She’s one lucky girl.” I swing my gaze to him, his eyes lock on mine and a bubble encloses us, making everyone around us disappear.

“I’m the lucky one. Though I don’t think I deserve her, my heart has already picked her.”

My next question comes out like a thief in the night making my face scorch in heat. “What’s her name?” I’m shamelessly fishing.

“Wildflower.” His sad voice almost brings tears to my eyes.

Then he helps me up, not giving me another second to volley yet another question as he leads me down the steps and into the car. His answer shocks me . . . it shocks my heart, realizing what it means should excite me but reality is like a thick glacier, freezing my heart shut.

His heart picks me! But as I replay everything he said, I know there could never be an ‘us’.

The car door opening disrupts my reverie as Travis drives us to our favorite bistro around Dupont Circle after which I’m whisked away back to the residence. My home where I’m far away from everyone, including him.

Denial
—I’ve never denied my feelings for him, not once. Why should I? It has been the most real feeling I’ve ever felt for anyone. And while he can deny it all he wants, it’s a feeling that strengthens in time, no matter how much I want to weaken it.

Acceptance
—It’s probably time for me to acknowledge that our relationship will forever be that of protector and protected. Nothing more. If accepting our stalemate situation is hard, it’s even more merciless when you factor in that it’s not one sided.

DAMIEN

I wake up with a heavy heart, heavier than normal because for the past month I’ve had to watch what she’s doing to herself because of me until I get my approval.

I know she’s showing me that she loves her job just as I do mine. I don’t think she’ll understand my need to do my job and be with her. My two worlds are colliding and not meshing. Maybe God intended for this to happen so I can finally pick one. Haven’t it been said one can’t serve two masters. I smirk at the thought since I’m a slave to my job and to Sophia.

My job defines me. It’s all I’ve ever known. It has shown me everything. Love for God and country has ruled my life until Sophia. Now, she is my life. I’ve made a choice and now . . . I wait.

I’m tying up my running shoes when my personal cell rings. Without looking at who’s calling, I answer only to be greeted by a loud breather on the other end. I pull the phone from my ear and look at the number and press end. This has been happening a lot lately. A lot of hang ups, especially at this time of day. I send a quick text to Brian to scan of my phone to see who my mystery caller is.

I run my regular six miles to clear my head, though it doesn’t distract me from the decision I’ve already made. As painful as it is, it needs to be done. I’ll sacrifice something once again, though it really isn’t one. With sweat running all over my body, my mind is solely focused on my Wildflower and what I’m about to do.

My personal cell buzzes against my leg prompting me to stop. I’m gasping for air as I pull my phone from my pocket. “H. .Hello.”

“Uh . . . I’m not disturbing anything, am I?” Brian asks.

“No. I’m running if you must know. It’s my day off.”

“Whoever’s calling you is using a pre-paid phone. I can’t trace it, man. Are you sure it’s not some broad you’ve pissed off?”

“Nah. Thanks anyway. How’s everything over there?”

“Everything’s good, man. The girls are planning a mini-vacation to your neck of the woods this summer. But I’ll let your sister break it down for you. Just act surprised, alright?”

“Right. Later, man.”

I miss my family back home. With everyone having babies and enjoying their family life, I just feel out of place though they’ve never make me feel that way. Memories, they never leave me . . . the good, the bad, even the ugly; I welcome them with open arms. My walk down memory lane literally stops when I’m suddenly hit by a small body attaching to mine.

“Hey, handsome.” Nicole’s smile puts me on the defensive.

“Hey.” I’m sure surprise is evident on my face. “What are you doing here? You don’t live in this area.”

As we start jogging, she nudges me with her elbow. “Glad you remember. But I’m now a proud and happy owner of a condo two floors above yours.”

That got my attention, and so does my feet since I slow down to almost a walking pace. Nicole lives in the same building I live in. Once again fate plays a mean trick, and my gut smells danger.

Real and present danger.

Noticing my shock she says, “You don’t look happy, Damien. Is it bothering you? I promise you, everything will stay professional between us. No one knows about before, right?”

I know what she’s getting at, and it needs to stop now. I wait until we make our final turn toward my apartment building before I open my mouth.

“Right. I just don’t want any misunderstandings of any kind between us. That’s all.”

She stops right before I open the door and brings her hand to rest over my chest. “Oh, Damien. There’s no misunderstanding between us. Trust me. I know.”

Nicole inches forward and licks her lips. “Why are you worried? Afraid Sophia might find out?”

Damn! I knew it was a mistake sleeping with this viper. A moment of sheer weakness coupled with a few shared drinks led to a few nights I’m regretting now.

“I’m not worried, Nicole. But what happened outside work should stay there. It’s in the past, and it’s where it’s going to stay, understand? And leave Sophia alone. She doesn’t concern you.”

A salacious smile spreads across her face while her eyes travel from mine slowly down to my crotch and back up meeting mine once again. “I beg to differ. Sophia is my concern. Anything that might drop the President’s approval rating is my concern. And that girl is an expert at doing just that.” She moves closer. Close enough where I can feel her breath across my face, her lips almost touching mine. “And besides, she wants what I’ve already had.” She turns to leave then yells over her shoulder and says, “See you at work.”

I barely control the need to wring her neck and punch something at the same time. She just managed to complicate my life even more.

As I make my way toward the stairs instead of the elevator, I feel the heat on my back, the pounding of my heart, and the sweat rolling down my face. They just remind me of what I’m about to give up and gain. It puts everything into perspective, and timing is of the essence.

In the end, I can’t function without her.

Denial
—
How can I continue to do it? It’s time to face what is and learn to forget everything else.

Acceptance
—As hard as it is, it needs to be done. It will absolutely hurt me. But when does anything worth having not truly hurt?

SOPHIA

MY WHOLE BODY HURTS.

My bones—thankfully they’re still connected to their joints.

My muscles—they’re screaming reprieve from me today.

My mind—thank God it’s in tune with my body because it only thinks of the pain, nothing more.

My heart—is on the mend, and it’s somewhat in a better state than my body.

As I wait for my mom’s morning visit, I cancel the alarm on my phone. Five minutes later, light tapping on my door greets me.

“Come in, Mom!”

She comes bearing coffee, toast, eggs, bacon, and oatmeal. “Please finish everything. You need to eat more since you’re running your body into the ground.”

I push off my blanket and then walk toward my dresser sighing loudly. “I eat when I get to the studio, Mother. I can’t eat anything heavy and expect my body to move the way I want it to. I just need coffee to wake me up.” I reach for the steaming hot cup of coffee and take a couple of sips. “You worry. . . .” I put the cup down then shimmy off my pajama bottoms as I reach for my leggings. When my mom sees my body, she lets out a loud gasp.

“Sophia! Do you know you have a big bruise? It practically covers your entire right side!” She briskly walks toward me and runs her fingers alongside my black and blue bruise decorating my back.

“Mom, relax. Mark and I have been trying different lifts for the recital, and I’ve fallen one too many times. You know that’s just part of dancing. I’m fine.” I give her a one arm hug to appease her before she quarantines me to my room and throws away the key.

She moves toward the door but stops before opening it. “I know what you’re doing. Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve been in love before, but this . . .” She stops then lets out sigh. “ . . . this isn’t right, and you know it. If you guys don’t fit in each other’s lives, don’t push it, Sophia.”