Unraveled (Woodlands) (21 page)

"No, and I never will. I think you suffer more PTSD delivering constant news of someone dying than you do by being there."

"It can't be fun. I wish I'd held it together better. The chaplain kept saying I was so young."

"Lots of young widows out there now."

We both stared at the water, thinking of the story I’d told that first night.

I spoke first. "Having her try to kill herself was like failing again. We couldn't save him and we almost lost her." My hands were fisted on my knees. Reaching over, she laid her palm over my balled hands. I had a very tough time processing grief but Sam understood. She got me in a way I don’t think anyone had before. Not my pops or my parents or even my brothers. She rested her head against my shoulder and squeezed my hands tight.

This girl stirred some kind of tender emotion in me. Her observation the other day about the difference between wives and girlfriends was spot on. Carrie had been so hungry for the wife position but it was because she wanted a higher status. And she ended up with none

“You'd have made a good military wife," I told her. Sam thought about others. That was the mark of a good military wife. Military people had to be selfless. Both the people who served and those that stayed behind. It had to be a calling for both of them.

She gave a small laugh and shake of her head. "What makes you say that?"

"You care a lot about the other people, almost more than yourself. And that's not always a good thing. You keep downplaying your loss, saying somebody else's loss was greater or somebody else had it worse."

"I'm just really fortunate, you know? And I guess I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. I've done that for two years. And I have a lot of regrets. I don't want to have any regrets anymore."

"What do you regret?"

"I regret not moving to Alaska when Will got shipped out." She plucked at her shorts. "He wanted me to. We could've gotten married then, or I could've just moved there. It's not like I wasn't without resources like some of the others." Sam turned a bit and shoved my sunglasses off my face, so she could look in my eyes. "Tell me about the girl who cheated on you?”

The question caught me off guard, and I stuttered my response. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“You don't do relationships. You have ultra-impersonal sex hook ups. And you flew off the handle when you thought I was cheating on someone. It’s a big issue with you. Can you tell me what happened?”

No, not really.
“I’d rather make love to you.” I brushed my hand up her back and up to the base of her skull. She rolled her eyes but didn’t pull away.

“I can’t imagine how you ever survived deployment to the Middle East.”

"You may be surprised to hear this, but I can go without for long periods of time.”

“Is that right?” she mocked.

“That’s right. I have a very active imagination.” With a small movement of my hand, I had her face tilted at the perfect angle. I could kiss her lips or snake my tongue along the column of her throat. I choose the latter.

Against her skin, I told her what I envisioned. “You’re taking your T-shirt off. You’re braless and the fabric catches on the bottom of one your breasts so that it bounces when the shirt finally comes off. I catch it in my mouth, sucking on your nipple. You moan loudly when my mouth covers you.” I reached between us and unzipped my shorts, pulling out my hungry, ready cock. Her hand wrapped around the tip and squeezed. Choking back my groan, I continued. “Your shorts come off and as you’re standing in front of me, I can see by the wetness between your thighs that you’re aroused.”

Her hand paused mid stroke. “Um, don’t stop,” I choked out.

“How can I be standing in the boat? I barely made it over to your side without tipping us over,” she asked.

“I bet you never fought dragons when you were a kid either, did you?”

“Oh right, we’re imagining things.” She smirked. “Go on, I’m naked and wet.” The words sounded so dirty coming from her that I felt myself jerk in her direction. “You like that?”

I laughed hoarsely. “Yup.” Hearing my partner tell me exactly what she wanted and how she wanted it has always excited me. Half the time I was talking to crank her chain but the side benefit was that it worked me up too. I moved my hand to cover hers. She picked up the motion again, and we covered my length together, rubbing it up and down. My head fell back and I returned to my fantasy.

“You’re standing there naked, and you pull on your ti-nipples.” She probably didn’t like the word tits. “And with the other hand, you start stroking yourself. I’m watching carefully so I can make the same moves when it’s my turn to touch you. Then you bend down and take me in your mouth.”

“Am I still fondling myself?”

“Yes, you have great balance.”

Sam bent over and placed my hard shaft inside her mouth. Our fingers were still entangled and I could feel her lips and tongue all over us. She sucked me hard, my dick popping out of her mouth with a loud noise. “What happens next?” she asked. Had she done that on purpose because she knew how much I enjoyed the sounds of our sex? I let out a shaky breath. I allowed my hand to fall away and she began to work me over. Her fingers couldn’t quite fit all the way around the shaft but she kept making twisting motions and, combined with the suck of her mouth, I was pretty close to shooting my load. It was hard to think. “Yo-you’re sucking me and I can hear how wet it’s making you as you finger yourself.” Gathering her hair up in my hand, I pulled her off my cock and up against my chest. I took her mouth in mine, bruisingly, but she only kissed me back harder. Somehow we managed to get her shorts off without falling into the lake. In another second, I tugged a condom on. Letting her set the pace, I focused on kissing her, exploring every inch of her mouth. Under her shirt, I rubbed her nipples until they were plump and erect.

My heart was pounding like I’d run a dozen miles as I waited for her to sheathe me with herself. When she did, I groaned, long and loud. I’d spent a week imagining Sam in all kinds of filthy positions. Initially she moved slowly, enjoying the feel of her inner flesh rubbing against my cock but we were both too worked up to be leisurely. Rocking against me, she clutched at my shoulders, her elbows digging into my chest as she used me for leverage. I loved it. I wanted to bottom out inside her, to get deeper into her than I’d ever been.

She looked powerful moving on top of me. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her face was flushed. We were moving in some kind of unworldly rhythm that I’d never achieved before. Passion was written on every surface of her body—in the tenseness of her arms, the tightness of her cunt around me, in the way she rode me with such abandon.

The tight, hot glove of her squeezed me hard, making the drag out of her body amazing. Was it possible to lose your mind fucking? Because I felt mine spiraling away from me with each downward drive of her hips. Did she know how much she affected me? How much I wanted this all of the time? How I could not wait to see her again after a week of absence? I’d missed her. I’d fucking missed
her.
And now that I was inside her, I didn’t want to leave.

I moved my hands from inside of her shirt to grab her hip and plunged the other hand between us, using a thumb to rub against her engorged clit. We were both panting hard, and I could feel myself nearing the edge. I needed her to come. Tearing my mouth away from her, I began to whisper to her again. “You are so hot and tight. I love having you ride me. You feel fucking perfect.”

“God, yes, talk to me,” she cried, her eyes fluttering open.

I shoved up with my hips in a furious rhythm. “Your cunt is squeezing me like a vise. Your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are glassy and I’ve never seen a girl look so into this. I wish we had a mirror right now so you could see how fucking hot you are. Don’t stop,” I begged. “Christ, my balls…”

I couldn’t talk anymore, but I didn’t have to because she came apart in my arms. Her whole body tensed and she shuddered, crying out, “Oh God, Gray.”

My balls felt like they’d nearly exploded when I came. “Almighty fucking…Sam.” I clutched her to me as we both trembled in the aftermath. I could have fallen into the lake and drowned and never realized it because I was that senseless. I’d never had a fuck as good as Sam Anderson and was afraid I never would again.

I lay there against the hard bench and the cooler and hugged her close. There was no explanation I could think of—at least not one I was ready to accept—as to why our physical connection was so spectacular.

“It’s so good with you,” Sam muttered. She’d collapsed on top of me, tucking her arms between us, her warm nose in the crook of my neck. Not knowing how to respond, I just kept up rubbing her back in long strokes from the base of her neck to her spine. Then, when I was about to let the post orgasm stupor take me under again, she asked about Carrie.

This time I just vomited out the whole story. I suppose I could’ve blamed it on the timing but I think I wanted her to know. Sam seemed to understand everything else, maybe she’d get this too. And maybe I owed it to her. “When I was in high school, I was tall and gangly. I had no game, and the girls knew it. Like they sensed I was weak and ran far away.” I grinned but it faded quickly as Sam looked at me knowingly.

Sighing, I snugged her up against my side and pressed her back onto the cooler so she couldn’t look at me. Or I couldn’t look at her. One of the two. With an exaggerated sigh, I pulled my sunglasses back down and continued the story. “We moved a lot up until my junior year, and then my dad got stationed at Pendleton. First day of school, Carrie walks right up to me, takes my hand and shows me around. She eats lunch with me, has me drive her home, and that’s it for me. It blew my mind that she wanted me, of all people.”

“And then she broke your heart.”

"Guys don't get heartbroken, honey. We just get pissed off."

She made a humming noise that could mean anything. I continued. “I’d always known that I was going to join the Corps, and I was up front about it. She loved the idea. Sometimes she’d squeeze my arm and say that the military was going to make me a man. Around Fallbrook, there are plenty of military, and not just Marines. I always felt like she was taking a step down to be with me. When I joined the Corps, it changed me a lot. Not just how I looked, but my whole attitude about things. I was way cockier after boot camp and even worse after I finished the school of infantry.”

“Is that when you got this?” She tapped my arm where the bottom of my tattoo peeked out of my shirt sleeve. We were both bare-ass naked from the waist down but had kept our shirts on. That was kind of fucked up. Sitting up, I reached down and picked Sam’s shorts and panties off the bottom of the boat. Thankfully they were dry. She pulled them on and then settled into the seat opposite me. I handed her another Coke and took one for myself. I needed the caffeine and sugar to get me through the story. I wished I’d brought some beer.

“Yup. All of us after we got out of SOI. We ran off to the first tattoo parlor we could find and got ourselves all tatted up.
Semper Fi,
” I said mockingly. “And all of this thrilled Carrie. Her boyfriend had turned into something other girls wanted, but it also made her insecure. She flirted a lot with other guys to make me jealous. We fought a lot and had crazy make up sex. I didn’t realize at the time that we were fucked up. Inside the bubble it felt normal. We got to see each other fairly regularly. She'd drive up to base and we'd stay at a hotel on the weekends if my battle buddy wasn't around.

“A few months into my deployment, I hear that she's been coming down regularly, every weekend, which at first seemed like she was just trying to be part of the network. I'd thought about proposing to her when I got back from my deployment. It was only going to be seven months. Then I hear she's been seen with a recruiting officer. The same goddamn 2nd Lieutenant that had signed me up. I got leave halfway through deployment, but I didn't tell her."

"I know the end of the story but already I don't like it."

"Yeah, me neither. Want me to stop now?"

"Nope." She tapped her can against mine and then took another sip. I downed the sugary sweet soda and then crumpled the can in my hand.

"I get back to base and I wait in my car outside the LT's recruiting office until it closes and then I follow him. LT can afford to live off base, and he's got an apartment in Oceanside with some other officer. I wait outside of his condo. If he doesn't meet up with her, then I've wasted a whole afternoon and evening of my tiny leave with this and that pissed me off but I had to know.

"He goes in, does whatever inside, and then an hour later, she shows up in the car her daddy bought her when she graduated from high school. She's wearing barely any clothes and fuck me heels. He comes outside and starts making out with her, playing grab ass on the street. I almost get out of my car then but something tells me to wait. He takes her keys and they get in and drive to a small private beach down along the coast, between San Diego and Oceanside and then…”

I stopped when Sam reached for the can in my hand. I saw that I’d been squeezing it so hard some of the metal had pierced my skin. With a sigh, I released the can so I wouldn’t continue to make myself bleed, even though recounting this whole episode seemed like I’m reopening a scabbed-over wound. "Then they start fucking in the car. I didn't get it then. I thought maybe she saw me and was giving me the ultimate middle finger. I found out later that his roommate had told him that he either stopped screwing around with a deployed Marine's girlfriend or he'd report him to his superiors, so they had to resort to screwing in her car whenever they wanted to get off."

"I got out of the car and rapped on her window, staring at her ass gyrating like she’s a stripper, until they finally heard me. She starts sniveling and crying and saying that he forced her. That didn't fly with me, so she changed her story. She was trying to help me get ahead. He just sat there like a dumbass, sitting on his thumb while he let her twist in the wind. I figured he was the kind of guy that if I decked him, he'd report me, and I wasn't going to fuck up my career for this bitch or that asshole."