Unplugged: A Bad Boy Rockstar Romance (34 page)

“Okay…”
She wasn’t sure if it was worse or
better.

Jase swallowed and looked at the ground.
“I
’
m sorry for
what
I did at the roadhouse. I shouldn’t have
…
I
don’t know what came over me.
”
He shook his head.
“
I mean, yes, I do know. I know what came
over me. I just
…
didn’t
expect it.
”

Maggie nodded, even though he wasn’t
looking at her.
“
I didn’t expect it, either
. I expected the anger
…
and the hate. But not jealousy.
”

Jase cursed to himself and turned to
look at her.
“I
’
m sorry for all of that. I was being a
child.
”
He shook his head.
“
When I sat there in that kitchen
listening to your house get sprayed with bulle
ts, all
I could think about was how our last big interaction was going to be me hauling
you out of the roadhouse like a typical jealous ex.  I thought about how you
were going to die afraid, and thinking I hated you. And I can’t
…”
He turned away and swallo
wed hard.

Tears ran down Maggie
’
s face before she could stop them. She
sniffed and looked away, trying to wipe them from her face.

“
I
don’t hate you, Maggie. For a while
there after you left, sure. Maybe I did. The pain was so bad. But I don’t
hate you.
I
can’t hate you.”

“
You should hate me for what I did to
you,
”
said Maggie. Her voice was a soppy,
shaking mess.
“
I left you here. I loved you and I
abandoned you. And now I’ve wrecked your whole new peaceful existence. You
should hate me for the rest of y
our life.
”

“
Maggie, no
…”
said Jase. He put a hand to his stomach,
like the thought made him sick.

“
That’s why I left last night, Jase. I
can’t let you do this to yourself again,
”
she said.
“
I ruin everything I touch. This is the second time I’ve
fucked u
p your life and I’ve only been here a few
days. When we ended up on that pool table
…”

“
You didn’t want that?
”
said Jase.
“
You didn’t want to be with me?
”

“
I never said that.
”
Maggie stepped off the table to stand in
front of him.
“
But it
’
s not about what I
want
, Jase. It never has been. I wanted to
stay here before, with you, and with Henry, and just keep living like we had
been before we got together, but that was never going to happen. It didn’t
matter how much I wanted it. Henry would h
ave driven
you out of the club or driven you away from me.
”

“You don’t
know that Maggie,
”
said Jase.
“Henry
’
s not a monster, he would have come
around. You didn’t have to go. You left because you were afraid, not because
you had to.
”
The look on his face s
uggested Jase had been waiting a long time to say that to
her.
“
You didn’t have to go.
”

His words hurt deeply. But she couldn’t
say that he wasn’t right, not anymore.

Maggie said,
“
I was afraid, just like I
’
m afraid now.
”

“
Afraid of
what
, Maggie?
”
Jase stepped forward and took her by the
shoulders. His touch was not angry, but insistent, in pain.
“
Afraid of me?
”
He watched her struggle to find the
words, searching her eyes with his own gaze.
“
Just answer me straight: do you feel
something for me, or
not?
”

“Yes,”
she said in a teary exhale. She felt
lighter as she watched Jase
’
s face react, flushing with blood, his worried edges
smoothing out.

“
You still think about me?
”

“Yes.”

“
I still think about you. Seeing you in
the den that first night made me r
ealize I still
think about you every fucking day.
”
The end of Jase
’
s sentence came out a whisper.

Maggie was caught in the pull of his
gaze. She had never felt anything as intimate as what she was feeling now,
staring into Jase
’
s darkened eyes as he opene
d
himself up to her. The vulnerability that normally terrified her instead spread
deep warmth throughout her body. 

“I
’
m afraid to ask you for what I want,
”
said Maggie. She reached her hands up
and grasped either side of his cut.

“Don’t be,”
said Jase.
“
Tell me what you want.
”

“
I want to be with you,
”
she said as she looked up at him.
“
I want to ask you to forgive me. I don’t
deserve any of it but I want it. I miss you like hell.
”
She couldn’t continue. Maggie buried her
teary face in his chest.

She
felt Jase
’
s hands slip around her back and pull
her close into him. He leaned his head down to rest on hers.
“
I miss you too. I’ve missed you so much.
”

“
I love you,
”
she said.
“
I love you more than anything, Jase.
”

Jase
’
s embrace tightened around her. His
voice came as a whisper near her ear.
“
I love you too. I never stopped, Maggie.
I never stopped. It was always you.
”

Jase held her there, crying, for a few
minutes before he tilted her head up to look at him. With gentle fingertips he
wiped tears from her
skin and held her gaze in the
dim light. Then he lowered his lips down slowly and kissed her. It wasn’t like
the kisses from the night before, all heat and hunger and desperate impatience.
Jase
’
s lips kept a tender pace, relishing the
moment. As his kisses
became deeper, he moved a hand
up to cup her head.

All of Maggie
’
s doubt and fear washed away in that
moment.  She lost herself in the warmth of Jase
’
s arms and the ache of his kiss.
Suddenly she felt like every dark night and pain-filled day she had suf
fered in the past few years made sense. She belonged here,
right here, wrapped up in Jase. Nothing hurt here. Everything was shining
light.

The embrace overwhelmed them both, until
the sound of the clubhouse door shattered the moment. They both pulled awa
y from the kiss, but Jase didn’t loosen his arms around
her. Her eyes still wet with tears, Maggie couldn’t make out who it was.
“Henry
’
s gonna kill us.”

Jase looked at her.
“
I
don’t care what Henry thinks about this
anymore.
”

Her first impulse was to make
a joke, tease him, but the look on his face stopped her.
“You
’
re serious?
”

“
If he had just stayed out of it in the
first place, you never would have left for Eagleton and none of this would be
happening,
”
said Jase.
“I
’
m not losing you again
—
not to your d
ead-man-walking
ex, and not to your overprotective father.
”

“
Well, the first one kind of validates
the second,
”
said Maggie with a half-smile. It grew
to a full one when Jase laughed down at her.

“
I missed that sarcastic tongue of yours,
”
he said.
“Will’s
the only one smart enough to keep up,
and he cares the least about talking to anybody.
”

Maggie gave his chest a playful pinch.
“
I hope that’s the only job related to
tongues that Will has replaced.
”

The low, growling laugh that came from
Jase
’
s throat mad
e
Maggie shiver in anticipation.
“
Oh, no one has replaced
those
positions, babe. No one could replace
you.
”

Maggie pulled him down for a kiss, and
started to laugh when Jase moved to bite softly at her neck. From the porch
came the sound of someone clearin
g their throat in a
very loud and obvious manner, but she couldn’t see who it was. Maggie yanked at
Jase
’
s shirt until he stopped and stood up.

Jase eyed the man smoking under the
porch light, and then he turned back to her.
“
You wanna get out of here?
”

M
aggie smiled
at him.
“
Hell yeah. But, the guys
—“

“
The meeting ended a while ago, now it
’
s just a party. We
’
re gonna walk right through it and out
the front door to my bike.
”