Unplugged: A Bad Boy Rockstar Romance (25 page)

“I can’t
believe that
’
s Jase!” 
Julie whispered, though still too loudly for Maggie
’
s comfort.

Maggie rolled her eyes and tried to
contain her quiet laughter. She didn’t know what was so funny. Maybe just
having Julie
’
s wide-eyed joy around all this death
and pain was relaxing enough. After the years of horror she had spent with
Evan, g
iggling about boys seemed like a rare, sweet
surprise. She grabbed her beer and one of Julie
’
s hands and led her through the house
back to her bedroom. She left the door open a just a crack.

“
Keep your voice down,
”
said Maggie when they were alone.
“
Things
are not
great with that, either.
”

“He
’
s
so hot
, Maggie!
”
said Julie with a little clap of her hands.
“
And you can tell he
’
s still into you.
”

Maggie scoffed, digging through her
pocket for the joints Tommy gave her.
“
Whatever.
”
She stuffed one in her mouth and lit it before taking a
long, satisfying drag. She offered Julie a hit. At first, Julie hesitated, but
then she seemed to shrug and accepted it with a giggle.

“I
’
m serious!
”
said Julie. She took a drag and came up
from it c
oughing hard, which only made the two of
them laugh harder. She waved smoke out of her face and passed the joint back to
Maggie.
“
He was basically staring at you the
entire time we were talking.
”

“He
’
s my bodyguard,”
said Maggie, shaking her head.
“It
’
s hi
s job to
stare at me.
”

“Yeah, I
’
m sure he hates it, too,
”
laughed Julie.

Maggie smiled and took another drag. She
blew out the smoke without a cough.
“He
’
s not the only one.
”

“
Oh, come off it,
”
said Julie as she snatched the joint.
“
How could you hate
having that handsome strapping beast around you all the
time?
”

Maggie made an exaggerated groaning
sound and fell to the floor with a laugh. Julie took a hit and laughed along
with her. She joined Maggie on the floor one knee at a time and passed the
joint
.

“Let
’
s not talk about Jase, he might overhear
us and his ego doesn’t need the meal,
”
said Maggie after she took a hard hit and exhaled.

“Okay,”
said Julie.
“
Do you want to talk about where you’ve
been for the last eight months?
”

Maggie didn’t
. She
really,
really didn’t. But she looked up and saw Julie
’
s earnest expression, and knew it was
the right thing to do.
“
Yeah, I guess we can do that.
”

“
I tried calling you, Maggie. I guess I
feel like
…
like maybe I failed you as a friend. I
wanted to help you
up, I couldn’t get you to take my
hand,
”
said Julie. She handed the joint to
Maggie and adjusted to sit cross-legged on the carpet, her back leaning against
the bed.
“
Jordan kept telling me there was nothing
I could do, but I just couldn’t accept that.
”
S
he giggled a
little to herself.
“
Obviously
—
how else would I be here right now?  I could never just
give up on you, you know?
”

Shame tore through Maggie
’
s mind and heart. She let the joint
’
s embers burn out as she held it between
her fingers.
“
Jordan wasn’t
wrong. I saw you calling me, Julie
…
I found the note you left in my mailbox. I was just too
afraid to respond to any of it. I didn’t
want
…”
Maggie had to take a deep breath.
“
I didn’t want you to see what I had
become.
”

“
Oh honey. We all have our dark tim
es. You know I watched my older sister go through her
alcoholism. I know it
’
s not apples to apples, but well
…
.I just mean I care about you anyway,
even if you don’t care about you.
”

“
Part of me wishes I had called you,
”
said Maggie.
“
But part of me could n
ever live with involving you with dangerous people.
”
She felt a strange sensation that Henry
had told her those exact words at some point in years passed. And like Henry
had with her, Maggie kept Julie at the perimeter of her life.

Julie nodded sadly.
“I
’
m sure none of your decisions were easy
ones at that point.
”

Maggie cleared her throat.
“
No, they weren’t. Neither was the one to
cut loose and make a run for home. But things got out of my control. Evan had
soothed some need in me for that first little wh
ile,
and then suddenly it felt like I was sliding down a muddy hill with no way to
stop myself.
”

“
Everything seemed to be going so well
before you met him,
”
said
Julie.
“
You didn’t seem unhappy. I
’
m surprised there was something missing
that he somehow fil
led. You seemed like a whole
person.
”

Maggie had replayed those transitionary
months so many times in her mind, but she had no answers for either Julie or
herself.
“
I was, in a lot of ways. But I just
…
there
’
s something inside me that isn’t right,
Julie. I
t
’
s been there since I can remember; since
I was a little girl. It won’t settle or shut up, no matter what I do. It
’
s like a big black ocean that lives
inside my chest, and it
’
s always sloshing around, always storming. I can never find
a way to keep it sti
ll
…
at least not for very long.
”

Julie’
s eyes welled up with sympathetic tears.
“
Oh Maggie. You feel that way all the
time?
”

“
Not all the time,
”
said Maggie before she could stop
herself.
“
I mean, sometimes it
’
s…
sometimes it’s still. Sometimes it
’
s calm.
”

“
Like when?
”

Before Maggie could answer, two stern
knocks came on the bedroom door. Jase stuck his head inside the bedroom and
looked at Maggie.

Like now.

“Jesus,”
said Jase as his face scrunched up.
“
First night in a new house, and you
decide to hot box
the place?
”
He waved his hand and watched the
collected smoke from the joint swirl in the sunlight.

Both Maggie and Julie started to giggle.
Maggie took advantage of the distraction and hoped Julie would forget about the
question she had asked. She re-li
t the joint, took a
puff, and offered it up to Jase.
“Don’t
be jealous, we wouldn’t leave you out.
”

Whatever humor had been on Jase
’
s face died the second she said the word
‘jealous
’
. She got no pleasure out of seeing the
stricken look behind his eyes, to
o subtle and far
away for Julie to pick up on. But neither did she want him around her after
what he had done last night.

She expected anger, but instead she saw
only exhaustion pass over his face.

Julie must have missed it.
“
Yeah, Jase, why don’t you com
e have a seat and join us? I’ve heard so much about you!
”
She gave Maggie a very obvious grin that
Maggie returned with a stern, bitchy look, pulled tight to hide her
embarrassment.

Red flushed across Jase
’
s face. His eyes widened just a bit.
“
Is that so?
”

“
Oh, yeah, Maggie could never shut up
about you!
”
It wasn’t the truth
—
in fact, it had taken many months before
Maggie trusted Julie enough to even mention his name
—
but truth wasn’t
Julie’
s goal. This was more of a
mini-seduction into conversation.

Jase
looked
over to Maggie, as if to verify whether Julie was honest. Maggie could only
look at him for a second or two before the discomfort became too much. She
realized that probably made her look guilty of Julie
’
s charges, but she just took a hit and
said n
othing.

“
I guess I
’
m one of those guys that
’
s better enjoyed from a distance, then,
”
said Jase. His flat voice made clear
that he wasn’t in the mood for any cheeky antics regarding his feelings. He
pointed at the joint in Maggie
’
s
hand. “Don’t
burn the house down, alright?
”
He didn’t wait for a response before he ducked out of the
room, footsteps heavy down the hall towards the kitchen.