Unorthodox Therapy (9 page)

I wasn’t supposed to know the names of these tools and I’d never officially admit that I was aware of how some of them were used. A few years previously, I’d been having my Saturday glass of wine and felt a sudden rush of naughtiness. So, in the middle of the night, I decided to place an order for a new vibrator. The BDSM section attracted my attention while browsing through the sex shop website, and before I realized it, I’d spent nearly three hours looking at all sort of devices on the web. My curiosity was piqued so the next step was to watch some porn clips. That led me to fingering myself while the girl on the screen was whipped with a flogger. The act was so wrong but her face expressed pure joy, accepting the pain, reveling in it. In that moment, I longed to be in her place.

Of course, the following morning I dutifully wiped my browser history clean and decided that was just some temporary madness. It was all because of the alcohol and horniness.

But the memories had stayed with me and resurfaced sometimes when I masturbated.

For a moment, I pictured myself bent over along the length of the bench with my ass presented for spanking. It made my nipples throb with arousal.

There was not enough time to dwell on those unexpected, shameful fantasies. I heard the creaking sound of a door opening and gazed in the direction from which the sound was coming. The fear defeated my unnatural arousal and I kept staring into the darkness, on edge. It turned out Thomas had merely opened the door of a massive, four-winged wardrobe where the rest of his “gear” was. He crooked his finger and invited me with a come-here gesture. When I approached him, I had a better chance to take a look at the contents. I was familiar with some of the whipping devices such as a traditional flogger with long leather tendrils, and different sized canes. I traced my fingers along the small, rectangular paddles and imagined them whipping my skin. The sudden excitement made me freeze on the spot, gasping in shock and lust. Thomas observed my reaction closely, a satisfied smirk on his face.

The single tail whips and cat o'nine tails had metal spikes at the ends of their fronds. An unpleasant shiver ran through me at the sight and I shifted my gaze to the other compartments of Thomas's naughty cupboard. It was filled with sex toys, most of which were wrapped. I had been to sex shops offering less variety compared than this collection of dildos, butt plugs and vibrators. A small box set with different bullet vibes was set aside. One of them strongly reminded me of the lighter Thomas had helped me with earlier. I nearly giggled at the thought of him using the vibe on me at the fire escape while everyone was supposed to be working.

Working.

That broke the weird spell I'd been under ever since he lit the candles. My damned employee had just taken me to a fucking torture dungeon! He clearly had every intention of throwing me in the deep end of sexual submission. And what was my reaction? Feeling like some giddy schoolgirl.
What the hell, Riley? Scream at him. Threaten him. You should be pissed off and not horny. Get a grip!

For a few brief minutes, though, my mind had completely switched off and I was filled with a hot excitement about all the possibilities this place offered.
No, no, this should stop!

“Do you like it, boss?” Thomas interrupted my confused thoughts. He was regarding me as a study subject. That realization made it easier for me to come back to my senses. “It's still far from what I have in mind but we’ve got everything necessary to begin your training.”

My forced laughter echoed throughout the cave-like room. I crossed my arms over my chest, causing friction from the silk blouse against my nipples. It was no time to be aroused, but they were swollen and hardened.

“Someone has been watching too much
Fifty Shades of Grey
.”

Thomas didn't blink at my bitter sarcasm or acknowledge my remark. Instead, he reached out to pick a cane from his kinky wardrobe. His long fingers wrapped around the handle and twirled it in the air in a casual yet careful manner so he wouldn’t hit me by accident.

“You said you've been smoking since your teenage years. I've personally witnessed how many packs a day you’ve been destroying and I can only imagine how much worse things have gotten. This is a deeply rooted habit and it can't be removed with traditional measures, as you said yourself.”

I followed the movement of the stick between his fingers.

“So you think turning me into a masochistic fuck puppet will solve my issues?”

Thomas laughed sincerely, grabbed the cane by both ends and raised it over his head as if stretching his shoulders before an exercise.

“Ah, Lina, you’ve got such a way with words. That has a sweet ring to it.” He winked and leaned forward. “But we're not quite there yet, tigress.”

“Watch your mouth, Thomas. You still work for me.”

“Not while you're in here.” The young man put the cane back in the cupboard and came closer to me. He took a hold of my chin and made me look him straight in the eyes. It was clear his playful mood had evaporated. Thomas caressed my skin with his fingertips as he kept talking. “I'm well aware of what you're going through, Lina. You make up your mind to finally cut the cord with your bad habit, but then life seems harder without the cloud of smoke around you. Over the years, you've learned to associate your bad habit with a sense of peace and quiet. So of course, you long to get back to the state of bliss and so you fail. Each time you fail, it gets harder to resist during the next attempt. Self-denial and pulling yourself together doesn't work.”

“Thanks for the psychoanalysis, Doctor Freud, but you do realize you're not telling me anything new, don’t you?” I breathed in and closed my eyes.
Don't let him get in your head.

He released my face from his firm grip, and a sudden wave of frustration rushed over me. His warm fingers had made me feel so protected.
Protected from what? From him? You're unraveling. Get out of that nuthouse now before it gets worse!

“How exactly do you plan to help me?” I asked and looked down at one of the large pink vibrators.

“By conditioning your brain.” Thomas walked around me, and for the second time that evening, his warm palms rested on the back of my neck. What was more irritating? That I allowed him to touch me in all sorts of creepy manners or that I loved it too much to tell him to stop? “You will never succeed if you think of cigarettes as your safe harbor. That is why I'll use the carrot and stick method to get you in the right frame of mind. It's crucial that you learn to associate smoking with pain and distress, but I'll need your submission and obedience for it to work.”

Those two words made my pussy get even slicker and made my erect nipples hurt with longing. But why? What game was he playing?

“Forget it, Thomas. If this is some convoluted plan to put me in a humiliating position, you really don't know me well enough.” My anger and disappointment pushed the lust away and gave me some temporary balance. “Are you in this alone? Or there are other pranksters who wanted to see the boss make a fool of herself?”

Thomas didn't tremble at my accusation and moved his lips to my ear.

“That's another problem I noticed. You keep all your tension bottled up instead of finding a healthy outlet. You're obsessed with the thought of being seen as weak and this is your biggest vulnerability. Quite ironic.”

“What else, doctor?” I snapped and turned to face him with determination. “What else do you assholes discuss behind my back? Let me guess. I'm a frigid ice queen in serious need of getting laid? Well, you know what? I’ve got absolutely no problem in the sex department. I lead a healthy and normal intimate life. I actually happen to have a very high sex drive. So, please, keep me out of your locker room talk!” It wasn't entirely true, but he had no business digging into my brain anyway. “You can't spank the smoking out of me. How about we forget this evening ever happened?”

“Do you know what is funny, Lina?” Thomas raised his hands in comic defeat but his eyes gleamed with satisfaction. “You're the one who keeps bringing sex up, naughty girl. I hadn’t mentioned any sexual play yet. Discipline, punishment and rewards can happen entirely without it.” He took a step closer and pressed his lips to my neck. “You should have told me earlier you wanted me, boss.”

“Quit joking around.” His kiss and its intensity weren't a joke at all, though. His lips traced a line down my neck and I had to force myself to think of the least pleasurable things so it wouldn't affect me. I pushed him away and said in a stern, clipped voice, “I hope this isn't some sick revenge against your mother. If I wanted to be punished, I would prefer it to be for my own sins. I've done too much for you to deserve it, though. Did you really hate me all these years?”

“What?” Thomas raised his eyebrows and blinked a few times, completely caught by surprise. “Lina, I never thought I'd hear such a silly assumption from you. My mother doesn’t even look like you. If anything, you're her total opposite. Besides, she and I are trying to patch things up right now. She’s finally realizing her mistakes. Whatever anger I felt for her is gone.” His hands found their way to my shoulders and he gave me his typical mischievous smile. “I'm deeply grateful for all you do for me. I admire you. That’s why I want to help you deal with your problem. It's a shame such a strong woman is a slave to nicotine.”

“There are much worse addictions, Thomas.” The sudden shame confused my emotions even further. The thought that somehow I hadn't lived up to his expectations, that I wasn't a role model, made no sense, but the feeling resurfaced and it hurt.

“That is true.” He kissed my forehead in a chaste manner and placed his palms on my shoulders, applying deep pressure. “But there are much better ones as well. I won't try to persuade you. Do you want my help, Lina?”

“Let me go.” My voice reverted to its trembling, broken state. His warmth, comfort and understanding were too much. There was no way we'd make it out of this situation in one piece. “Please. You promised you wouldn’t force me into anything I was not comfortable with.”

“Of course.” His sigh was soaked with so much sadness it broke my heart. When I raised my eyes to him, he had the key lying on his extended left palm. “Go ahead, run scared. I hope you enjoy going back to the embrace of your comfortable slavery. But please...” His eyes turned into cold shards of glass as he uttered the next words. “Quit repeating your bullshit phrase ‘one should always do what they're afraid of’, because it's a lie.”

I was about to pick the key up and go back to my familiar life – the job, the company, the cigarettes, the next big contract – but his words unleashed my anger. How dare he?

“I'm not scared, Thomas.” My words bubbled with irritation. “Whips and chains aren't new to me. I've tried something like it. I hated it. And I have better things to do with my time.”

“Oh?” He picked up the silver chain and dangled the key once again in front of my eyes. “Really, Lina? Why don't you tell me more about your secret kinkster life?”

“That... is none of your business.”

“That's really cute. A teenage attitude from a woman in her mid-thirties.” He laughed again and extended the key back to me. “You were probably not introduced by the right person. But anyway, don't forget to get your blazer on your way out.”

I clutched the small metal plate, my ticket out of this madness, but my feet refused to move from their spot. It would be so easy to ignore this evening, to write it off as a figment of my imagination. My life would continue in a chain of gray smoke, day after day, and the memory would fade away.

“What would you expect of me if I stayed? How does it... work?”

I expected the little brat would show smug satisfaction at my defeat. Instead, he just took the key out of my hand.

“I'd expect you to trust that all my actions are with your best interests in mind. I'd also require you to switch off your overactive mind and do as you're told. My plan includes pushing you beyond your limits. It would require me to get in your head. You’ve got to be honest with me at all times. Your sass is charming but I won't tolerate any disobedience or lies. Do you understand?” The rigid tone of his voice and the determination Thomas showed were slowly negating our age gap. Even if I wanted to, I could no longer think of him as the scared boy from our first meeting.

“What if I hated it? Would you continue?”

“You'd have a safeword. I usually go with ‘red’ but for our purposes, I want you to think of something you'll always remember, no matter how distressed you are.” Thomas went back to the wardrobe to pick up a pair of handcuffs. “I'd also restrain you a lot. Is that something you'd be comfortable with?”

I shrugged and my eyes slid over the different devices he was planning to use on me. It must have been too long a moment of pondering because Thomas cleared his throat.

“Lina? I need your answer. Make up your mind already. My time is just as precious as yours.” The whipping notes in his voice made me snap out of my catatonic state.

“This must forever remain our secret. No one will ever learn of this night.”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, then cast his gaze back at me.

“We need to work on your trust issues, beautiful, but, if it's so important to you, I cross my heart and swear no one will ever learn of your submission.” He really insisted on hammering the point.

“I also have no obligation to continue this... arrangement past this night.”