Unorthodox Therapy (40 page)

I took my time with my preparation and prayed it would go to plan. It had been weeks since the red latex boots had framed my legs but they still felt amazing on me. I needed the extra confidence boost they gave me to set my plan in motion. The new corset I’d purchased just for the occasion, the black training collar and my hair in a tight bun added the final touches to the portrait of a perfect submissive. While we had our ‘business arrangement’, Thomas realized my long mane of red hair was getting in the way, so he’d ordered me to always tie it in a ponytail or restrain it otherwise during our play sessions.

Thomas nearly choked on his coffee when I walked out of the bedroom and cleared my throat to attract his attention. His eyes widened at the sight of my exposed body. He clutched his coffee mug and swallowed painfully as I approached him in a catwalk style. A smile nearly lit up his features but he quickly pulled himself together and stared at me warily.

“Lina, what is going on?”

“Sir, you've been ignoring your pet for some time.” My voice was huskier than usual and the rhythm of my swaying, voluptuous thighs attracted his gaze like a magnet. “I missed playing with you.” I'd been practicing the pout for hours. From the look on his face, Thomas was knocked down and having a hard time restraining himself. He was grasping his mug hard as if it was the only thing keeping him from pouncing on me.

“I've been meaning to talk to you.”

“Really?” I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms under my breasts to lift them up. “Because I think you just planned on not saying anything unless I asked first. That shocked me, Thomas. You're a pretty straightforward guy.”

“I...” He looked down at the floor and blushed furiously while searching for the proper words. “The last three weeks have been wonderful, Lina. I think I can handle it if we never do D/s again. I might get therapy if necessary.”

My smile faded away but I felt anger rising on the inside. It took me a moment of effort to suppress it. Getting angry instead of talking had led us to this point.

“Oh, just precious. Maybe they can erase your dominant urges with hypnosis or shock therapy? And if it fails, perhaps you can go for a lobotomy?”

Thomas trembled when I placed my fingers under his chin and forced him to look at me.

“I'm scared I'll lose control and hurt you again, all right?” His voice was defensive and low. “You mean too much to me to take such a risk.” He stroked my cheek and gave me a confused, pleading look.

I didn't even flinch, just wrapped my arms around his neck with gentle reassurance.

“Thomas, we were both on the verge of drowning.” My lips pressed to his forehead for a brief moment. “I'm scared of swimming again myself. Don't think I've forgotten what happened, but once you survive almost drowning, you must go back in the water as soon as possible. We've been waiting for too long.”

“I'd never be able to forgive myself if the drowning episode happened again, Lina.” He tentatively curled his arms around my waist. “If I need to choose between D/s and being with you then you're my priority.”

It was touching that Thomas cared for me enough to try and change. Nobody had ever intended to sacrifice so much for me before, but I was neither a damsel in distress nor a cruel princess. I didn't need anyone to cut pieces of their flesh to prove how much they loved me.

“There's no reason why you can't have both.” I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled him closer for a kiss. “Suppressing our sexuality would work just as well as when you tried to bottle up your anger instead of working through it. It will backfire. I meant it when I said I didn't want you to change.”

“Why is it so important to you?” He was breathing heavily, running his fingers down my corset. “I know you're submissive, but...”

“I grew up in a family where everything inconvenient was swept under the rug. My mother and father were in constant denial there was anything wrong with their marriage or our lives.” I shivered against his warm body and pressed my forehead to his. His hard erection was grinding against my inner thigh. “I didn't realize how much I acted like them until you offered your therapy. I don't need passive aggression and angst when the decision is so simple.”

“Really?”

“You need to dominate me. I crave submitting to you. How much simpler could it be?”

“Aren't you scared at all?” Thomas was staring at me with bewilderment.

“Of course I'm scared.” I kissed his lips again. “But if we deprive ourselves of what we want we won't solve anything. Besides, you no longer have any reason to be insecure. You know I'm yours.”

Thomas cut off my words and kissed me hungrily, without the restraint he'd been imposing on himself in the past weeks. His hands fondled my ass cheeks roughly, spreading them so he could finger my already wet pussy. As soon as our lips parted, his whisper caressed my face, both tender and harsh.

“Allie told me once that submissive women are much stronger and braver than they're given credit for. Now I know what she meant.” With those words, Thomas wrapped his fingers around my bun and yanked my head back until my neck arched, fully exposed. He sank his teeth into my skin and his fingers deep inside me. My moan echoed throughout the kitchen. My pussy clamped around his hand, soaking it with its generous juices. “I've been neglecting your training, dear pet, but you deserve a reward for being such a brave girl.” His words, whispered in a low voice in my ear, sent a thrill running through me. “Bend over the table. Hands behind your back. Spread your legs for me.”

We didn't go further than spanking, a makeshift blindfold, and wax on that Saturday morning, but it was a wonderful start and a return to the good old habits. I hadn't realized how much I missed our play. With every session, Thomas restored his self-confidence and raised the heat. It took us both some time to go back to the dungeon, but when we got over our initial fear, we felt free to release all our pent up sexual energy and restrained fantasies.

He encouraged me to share more of what I had in mind. Sometimes, we'd go through more elaborate play, which required a few days of preparation. Once, we tried a Total Power Exchange weekend, under my initiative. In that scenario, I was an actual slave. The part of a modest, shy girl was so different from my personality but the experience was a blast. I was dripping wet the whole time even when I performed utterly degrading tasks on my hands and knees, serving as a pleasure pet. It was interesting to delve into that dark world but I knew I could never do it full time. Luckily, Thomas didn't expect it of me. On the Sunday evening when he took the chains from my feet and kissed me, he said he’d enjoyed having an obedient slave girl but he preferred his sassy submissive boss.

For the first time in my life, I was emotionally and sexually sated. The craving for another nicotine fix was no longer a factor in my life. It was liberating. Sometimes, though, in a rush of naughtiness, I would place a new pack of cigarettes in a place where he could easily spot them. Of course, Thomas was smart enough to know my bratty intentions and invested extra force in my punishments. He kept a leather paddle in my office and would often blister my behind and leave me soaked and longing for more. I hated that I adored his discipline and control in those situations.

Our relationship wasn't all sex, kink, and games but they fortified our bond. There was a mutual understanding between us. I'd lacked such a connection with all my previous lovers. Erotic freedom in sexual submission, intellectual and emotional compatibility – what more could a woman ask for?

Of course, I wished we didn’t have to hide the fact that we were a couple. The balance between our work and love life was too fragile and there was always a risk of someone revealing us. As much as I hated to admit it, I was still worried he would leave me for a woman closer to his age.

Sometimes I'd wake up early on the weekends and stare at his sleeping form. The thought of losing what we’d worked so hard to build together left me feeling cold and numb. Those were the only times I found myself wishing for a cigarette. Luckily, Thomas would stir in his sleep, open his eyes and pull me on top of him for morning sex. It did the trick, whipping the fears out of my brain. Until the next panic episode.

Happiness was a strange emotion. It elated my spirit and made me feel invincible, capable of achieving the impossible.

Sadly, it also made me blind to the shadow creeping into our lives.

If I only knew.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Lina

It had been nearly three months since Thomas and I started dating in secret. We were both discrete about it. Well, except when he fucked me on my desk and it was hard for me to stay quiet. My balled up panties often served as a gag. Katie and my other female friends grilled me about the mysterious man I'd been spending every weekend with. My lips were sealed, but at times, I wished I could throw caution to the wind and announce the news to everyone.

Nothing struck me as out of ordinary when I entered the office on Monday. My brain was still high on endorphins after the last two passionate days. Later, I'd remember all the signs of catastrophe I ignored – the whispering, the strange looks, the stifled giggles while I walked down the hallway towards my sanctuary. I was so out of this world with happiness I even forgot to turn on the Wi-Fi on my smartphone, which was part of my usual morning ritual together with coffee. That day, though, it slipped my mind. Thus, I arrived at work blissfully unaware of the bomb waiting for me in my inbox.

As soon as I crossed the threshold, Katie looked up from her computer screen with wide eyes. Her tanned face had gone unusually pale. She was clutching the top of the desk, as if she wasn’t sure what to say.

“Are you okay, Katie? You look sick. Do you need to take the day off?” I asked with concern, taking my coat off and frowning at the water dripping from it. It hadn't stopped raining since yesterday.

“You haven't seen it, have you?” She swallowed, inhaled sharply and kept drumming on the desk.

“Seen what? What is going on?” Her agitation slowly got to me and I crossed the distance to her desk. The poor girl sighed and muttered in a trembling voice,

“I hate to be the messenger of bad news but you'd better see it right now.” Katie stared at me with such sympathy I nearly screamed. What was she trying to do, drive me insane with suspense? “I'm really sorry, Lina.”

When I stepped behind her desk, all my determination and confidence leaked out of me like blood from an exit wound. The computer screen was covered with a high definition image of me in the red latex boots with a matching ball gag in my mouth and the black collar around my neck. The picture showed me bent over with a glowing red ass, restrained in bondage on top of Thomas's spanking bench.

I’d often wondered how I'd react to a natural disaster. Would it make me panic and run for my life? Or would I stay behind and accept my plight calmly. What does one do when the earth opens up beneath their feet and the world falls apart like a crumbling sugar cube? The helplessness provokes extreme reactions – despair, horror and a sense of doom. Never had I imagined the dominant feeling would be one of nausea.

My body and feelings were often pushed beyond what they could endure during my sessions with Thomas. Sometimes he'd cane me so hard I'd see blinding light through a veil of tears, pleasure and pain all wrapped up in one. But it couldn't come close to the sickness that possessed my body in that moment. Bile rose from my stomach and for a moment, the world's sounds faded away into a blend of white noise. My vision registered Katie, how her mouth opened as if she were a fish. None of what my ears caught made sense. The shock hit me straight in the core and made my senses go numb. I felt nothing but the increasing urge to vomit. I was losing balance and motor control. Everything felt surreal, as if I was drowning and not fully understanding anything. The thin film of sweat under my blouse and the blood on my lips were abstract ideas from someone else's mind. My eyes were burning but who knew why they remained dry. A lonely, distant howl of genuine agony echoed somewhere deep inside me, begging, pleading, looking for an answer.
Why?

Sharp pain in my thigh and hands broke my state of absolute denial. I'd lost balance and was leaning against the sharp edge of my assistant's desk. I clutched the wood so hard one of my long nails broke. My own weak whisper resounded like a mantra. Why?

Someone's hands grabbed me by the collar and pushed me into the tall leather chair. All the better because my legs could no longer support me. Katie's pale, worried features resurfaced before my blurred vision and in the next moment, she was splashing cold water on my face. The girl grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard. The more she spoke, the more real the situation became.

The pain of waking up was too much to handle.

“Lina, Lina, please, say something.” I realized my mouth was still open in a stupid way and blinked a few times before the world shifted back into focus. “Stay here. I'll call an ambulance.”

The panic in Katie's voice finally brought me back to earth and I shook my head. Cold droplets ran down my face, ruining my make-up, but the horrible sickness had withdrawn and my logical thinking process was slowly coming back to me. I raised my hand and pulled her by the sleeve.

“No, I'm fine.” It was painfully obvious I wasn't, but like hell I'd go to a fucking emergency room in a moment like that. “I just... Are there any others? How many have received them?” Who was this woman speaking through my voice? How could I sound so foreign to my own ears, so pathetic and whimpering?