Unlocking the Surgeon's Heart (14 page)

“I don’t think so. Too much has changed.”

He had a point. Between their shared parenting responsibilities and the dance competition, whenever she saw him on her unit, she treated him differently. Oh, she still gave him the respect he deserved, but now she joked and teased and asked personal questions that she’d never had the courage to ask before. He’d also loosened up enough to join in staff conversations without prompting. Rose hadn’t been the only person who’d noticed the change.

“You’re right. Things are different. In fact,
you’re
so different that several single women have mentioned they’d love to go out with you. If you like, I can give you their names.”

She struggled to make the offer because she felt rather possessive about him, but she had no right to that particular feeling. Yes, she’d dragged him out of his shell and convinced him to stop putting his professional career ahead of his personal life, but those lessons would simply prepare him for the woman of his dreams. When he found her and eventually had his own Derek and Emma, and maybe even a Nick or a Beth, she could take pride in the role she’d played.

“You’re pulling my leg, right?”

“Not at all. Theresa in Respiratory Therapy, Monica in the Recovery Room, and—”

His hold around her waist tightened. “Their names don’t matter because every one of them will be disappointed. Maybe you didn’t hear me when I came by your house. I want to spend my time with you—no one else.”

It was a wonderful thought and her heart did a happy dance, but the implications scared her. He was asking too much, too soon. “That’s sweet of you to say, but—”

“I know you’re worried about your upcoming appointment but, whatever happens, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Christy stiffened, and Linc sensed her mental withdrawal. Any second she’d bolt, and he imperceptibly tightened his hold. She felt too good right where she was and he wanted to show her both literally and figuratively that he wouldn’t let her go without a fight.

There would be no turning back.

He could have said nothing and let the days roll by, but she needed to know that
this
time she wouldn’t face her future with only Ria as her companion. His intentions were to prove he had more staying power and more strength of character than the other jerks who had walked into—and out of—her life.

Moisture glistened in her eyes and she blinked rapidly. “I know you mean well, but please don’t make any promises.”

“I already have.”

“I won’t hold you to them,” she warned.

“Are you giving me an escape clause?”

“Someone has to.”

“Do you really think I’m the sort of guy who runs at the first sign of trouble?”

Her shoulders slumped before she shook her head. “No, but it’s too risky to say what you might do when or if the situation changes.”

He disagreed, but she wouldn’t change her opinion in the space of this conversation. “Okay.” He spoke evenly. “We’ll continue our discussion after your appointment, but I happen to believe we have a future. Don’t let fear hold you hostage.”

For a long minute she didn’t move, until finally she nodded ever so slightly. “I’ll try.”

Pleased by his small victory, he stepped forward and lightly brushed her cheekbone with his lips. “That’s all I ask.”

* * *

At times over the next three weeks Christy wondered if she’d imagined that particular conversation because Linc never referred to it again. However, every now and then she’d catch him studying her, sometimes with curiosity and sometimes with a speculative gleam, but no matter what she saw in his eyes, he always smiled his lazy grin that turned her insides to mush. She tried to do as he’d asked—to think about a life after she received her five-year medical report—and it was easy when he was nearby. In the wee hours of the night, however, when darkness had closed in and she had only Ria to hold her fears at bay, it wasn’t. Fortunately, those instances didn’t happen often. She was simply too busy trying to stay on top of their schedule and keep the household running smoothly to reflect past the upcoming weeks.

Time, however, was marching on and the kitchen calendar reflected it. Emma had circled the date of her parents’ return with a red magic marker and, thanks to the huge black Xs she marked in the squares at the end of each day, Christy could count the remaining white spaces at a glance.

There were fourteen of them.

Her time of sharing the house with Linc and playing a mother’s role was drawing to a close, so she savored every moment, including those less than idyllic times…

“Christy.” Derek raced into the kitchen while she was finishing the dinner dishes. “Emma keeps bugging me. She won’t stay out of my room.”

“He took my doll’s car,” Emma wailed, “and I know he’s hiding it under his bed. I want it back.”

“I didn’t take it. It’s probably buried under all your doll junk.” His disgust was obvious.

“My stuff is
not
junk.” Emma’s lower lip quivered.

“Is, too.”

“Is not.”

“Guys,” Christy warned. “Both of you, calm down.”

“He called my stuff
junk
.” Emma was clearly affronted. “I don’t make fun of his toys.” She poked a finger in her brother’s chest. “Take that back.”

“Will not. And quit touching me.”

He shoved his sister and Emma began weeping. “You’re being mean. I want my mommy! She’d make you be nice to me!”

Christy abandoned her task to hold the little girl as she sobbed on her shoulder. “Oh, sweetie, your mom will be home in two weeks. That’s only fourteen days. Don’t forget about tonight being our phone call night. You don’t want your mom and dad to see you with red eyes and a runny nose, do you?”

Emma sniffled.

“You’re just being a baby,” Derek complained in a typical big-brother voice.

“Am not!”

“Stop, you two,” Christy scolded. “We’ll straighten this out in a few minutes.”

Linc had been outside watering the shrubs and walked in as Christy delivered her warning.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

Emma pointed a finger at her brother. “He started it.”

“Did not.”

“Quiet. Both of you,” Linc ordered. “Will someone tell me what’s going on?”

“Emma can’t find her doll’s car and she thinks Derek took it,” Christy explained.

“I didn’t,” Derek insisted.

“Did, too!”

Linc held up his hands. “There’s only one way to solve this. We’ll look for the car right now.”

“It’s in Derek’s room,” Emma informed them.

“Is not.”

Christy exchanged a glance at Linc over their heads and shrugged. “They’ve been like this all afternoon.”

“Off you go to your rooms,” he commanded as he pointed. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

As each child stormed to their private corners, Linc paused. “All this drama is over a lost car?”

“That convertible is very important to Em,” Christy said with a smile. “The main problem is they both miss their parents. She reacts with tears and Derek hides his feelings behind aggression.”

“I didn’t realize. Everything was going so smoothly I’d hoped we’d passed that stage.”

“We did, but two months can seem like for ever to a child. A time out for both is in order, I think.” A distant door slammed and Christy smiled. “Do you want to deal with that or should I?”

“I will,” he said.

He returned less than ten minutes later. “The mystery of the missing car is solved.”

“Where was it?”

“Under Emma’s bed. She’d decided the space was the perfect place for a ‘garage’ and forgot. She apologized to Derek, so life is good.”

“Will you be able to handle them by yourself tomorrow?”

“Considering they’ll be in school most of the day, I’d say so,” he said wryly, “but I’ve been thinking. I could go with you.”

His offer surprised her because when she’d mentioned her upcoming trip a week ago, he’d simply nodded. “I’m flying to Seattle for the usual battery of tests, not open-heart surgery. Don’t you have patients to see?”

“None that couldn’t wait until next week,” he said. “I’ve been rearranging my schedule, just in case.”

“You have?” She could hardly believe he’d go to the trouble. “Whatever for? You’d go crazy sitting in waiting rooms all day.”

He grinned. “Probably, but I’d do it. For moral support.”

She wanted to cry at his thoughtfulness. “Thanks, but my mom has planned to spend the day with me. She’s used to the routine.”

“Good, because I don’t want you to be alone,” he stated firmly.

It seemed strange to have someone other than her own family fuss over her. His concern gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling that was far better than hot cocoa and a warm blanket on a cold winter night.

“I won’t be,” she assured him. “This way is best for the kids, too. After tonight’s outburst, they need you, not a sitter.”

“Maybe, but I still don’t understand why you want to travel so far for your tests, only to turn around in another two weeks to visit your doctor. We run the same procedures here, you know.”

His voice and expression revealed his frustration quite clearly and she tried to explain her reasons. “This seems silly, but all my records are there and I’d like to have the same people looking at my scans. As crazy as it sounds, they’ve given me good reports and I don’t want to jinx myself.”

He fell silent for a few seconds before he finally nodded. “If that’s what you need for peace of mind, then that’s what you should do.”

She was half-surprised he didn’t try to convince her otherwise. “You aren’t going to tell me I’m being illogical and superstitious?”

“I could,” he admitted, “but having faith in one’s medical team is crucial to a patient’s recovery. If you aren’t ready for someone else to run your tests, you shouldn’t. Otherwise, whatever the outcome, you’ll always question the results.”

“Thanks for understanding.”

“What I don’t like is how you’re going to be exhausted when you return.”

“It’s sweet of you to worry, but I’ll be fine.”

He frowned. “I don’t see how you will be. You’re taking the red-eye flight in the morning, spending the entire day being poked, prodded and scanned, then jetting back late at night. At least stay a little longer and fly home Saturday.”

“I scheduled my flights months ago. I can’t change them now without huge penalties.”

“Screw the penalties. I’ll pay the difference.”

“I can’t have you do that. Honestly, I’ll be fine.” She grinned. “Keep the light on for me, okay?”

“I’ll do better than that. I’ll be waiting up.”

CHAPTER NINE

C
HRISTY
kissed her mother on the cheek as soon as she met her at the baggage claim the next morning. “Hi, Mom. It’s great to see you.”

“You, too, hon,” her mother said. At a very young-looking fifty-four, Serena Michaels was dressed fashionably smart in spite of the early hour and their final destination. Although Christy had told her repeatedly that no one expected her to look as if she was heading for a photo shoot instead of a day at the hospital, her mother had disagreed.

“If you look great, you’ll feel great, too,” had been her mantra, so Christy had taken a few special pains herself. Instead of wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt, she’d worn a comfortable pair of dress slacks, one of her favorite designer shirts, and a matching sweater.

“Did you have a good flight?”

“No problems,” she answered cheerfully, preparing for the inevitable question that would come next.

“How are you feeling?”

She’d trained herself over the years to not worry about cancer invading again if she didn’t feel well, but her mother hadn’t learned the same lesson. She still needed the reassurance that as long as her daughter felt healthy, then it must be so.

“Never better,” Christy answered. “I really appreciate you taking the time away from the restaurant today.”

“Of course I’d take the day off,” Serena assured her as she ushered her to the parking garage. “We may as well use the time in between your tests to catch up. I want to hear all about your side job as a live-in nanny and this dance competition you’ve told me about.”

While Christy filled in the details, she soaked up the ambience of the city. She’d grown up here, and while it was home, it also wasn’t. Oddly enough, she felt more rooted in Levitt Springs and she wondered if Linc had made the difference.

Throughout the day Christy shared story after story between her sessions of blood draws, PET and bone-density scans, and every other test her physician had ordered. She didn’t realize Linc had figured prominently in every tale until her mother commented.

“You’ve talked about this Linc a lot lately. Is he someone new?”

“I’ve been acquainted with him since I moved to town, but I didn’t really
know
him until we began taking care of his brother’s children.”

“He sounds like a special fellow,” Serena remarked.

“He is. He even offered to rearrange his patient schedule to come with me today.”

A knowing smile appeared on her mother’s face. “He’s that taken with you, is he?”

“He seems to be, but…” she hesitated “…I’m not sure it’s wise.”

“Why not? You’re healthy, attractive, and—” Serena stopped short. “You’ve told him about your history, haven’t you?”

“Yes, Mother.”

“The news didn’t scare him away?”

“It should have,” she said honestly, still amazed by his tenacity, “but it hasn’t so far.”

Serena’s eyes glowed with happiness and she leaned over to hug her. “You’re going to keep him, aren’t you?”

“A relationship isn’t that simple for me, Mom. There are long-term consequences to consider.”

“He’s a physician, Christy. Of course he knows the consequences.”

“I’m just trying to protect him from making a mistake he’ll regret, especially if my ovaries never wake up and he can’t have the son or daughter he wants.”

“I may not be in the medical profession, but even I know there are plenty of ways around that particular problem. Do you love him?”

Christy pondered for a moment. Her feelings for Linc were much stronger and deeper than those she’d felt toward Jon, but she wasn’t ready to admit she was in love.

“I care about him,” she said simply. “More than I’d expected I would. Probably even more than I should, which is why I can’t be certain he really knows what he’s getting into. Yes, he has all the medical knowledge, but I’m not sure his heart knows what he’s getting into.”

“You want to protect him.”

Linc had called her tactic “giving him an escape clause”. However anyone described it, her mother had pegged her correctly.

“Yes.”

“You can be right about so many things, but in this you’re wrong. Call your excuse for what it is, daughter. You’re not trying to protect him as much as you’re trying to protect yourself.”

Christy mentally argued against that notion throughout the day, but by the time she was back on the plane and flying home, she finally conceded her mother’s assessment might have merit.

She’d always thought she was being altruistic by spelling everything out early in her relationships. Full disclosure early on was in everyone’s best interests because if a fellow couldn’t deal with her situation, she’d rather learn it early in a relationship. Maybe she
was
only protecting herself, but her method worked.

With Linc, however, it hadn’t. He wasn’t reacting true to form.

I’ll be with you every step of the way
, he’d told her. She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t take that leap of faith. He was the one man who, if he ever changed his mind and walked away, would devastate her to the point where she’d never recover.

As the evening dragged on and bad weather delayed her flight, one thought kept her going—she was heading home.

* * *

As the hours ticked by, Linc found it more and more difficult to wait patiently for Christy’s return. Every light in the main part of the house blazed because he wanted her to see the beacon as soon as she turned onto their street.

He’d expected her at nine and wished he could have met her at the airport, but he couldn’t leave Derek and Emma unattended. He’d tried phoning her, but his call had gone straight to her voice mail. A check on her flight status via the internet told him she’d been delayed due to bad weather. He might have wished the airline had cancelled the flight so she wouldn’t endure such a long travel day, but he wanted her safe at home and he wouldn’t rest until she was.

Finally, he heard the distinctive sound of the garage door mechanism and his shoulders slumped with relief.

“You made it,” he said inanely as he greeted her with a heartfelt hug and a brief kiss.

“Finally,” she muttered. Her body drooped with apparent exhaustion, her smile seemed forced, and she leaned on him as if the sheer act of standing required more energy than she could summon. She made no effort to leave his embrace, which suited him just fine.

“It’s past midnight. I can’t believe you waited up for me. You didn’t have to, but I’m glad you did.”

He grinned. Those few words made the hours of impatience worth it. “I said I would. I couldn’t go back on my word, could I?” he said lightly, hoping she’d see this incident as another example of his trustworthiness. “I couldn’t sleep anyway until you got home.”

She chuckled. “I’ll bet you stayed awake when Ty or your sister went out, too.”

“Sometimes,” he admitted, although waiting for his siblings didn’t compare to waiting for Christy. Not knowing where she was or what might be happening had made it impossible to close his eyes. The saying “Ignorance is bliss” didn’t apply where Christy was concerned.

He changed the subject. “How did your tests go?”

“Like they usually do. I didn’t do a thing except lie on the X-ray tables or sit in chairs. Machines and the staff did all the work.”

“Are you tired?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“Very. You’d think, though, after sitting or lying down all day, I wouldn’t be.”

“It’s a good thing tomorrow is Saturday,” he told her. “The kids and I will watch cartoons so you can sleep late.”

“That isn’t necessary,” she began.

“Yes, it is,” he insisted. “I’m repaying the favor.”

As a sign of her exhaustion, she capitulated. “Okay, but no later than nine,” she warned. “Derek has a soccer game at eleven and I have a few things to do before then.”

“Nine a.m.,” he repeated. “Can I get you anything now? A cup of herbal tea? A glass of water?”

“No, thanks.”

“Okay, then. Pleasant dreams.”

“You, too,” she murmured, before disappearing into her room.

As he performed his final walk-through of the house for the night, his own exhaustion tugged at him and he realized he was ready for the day to end. Now, though, it could, because Christy had come home.

* * *

Christy didn’t report to work until Tuesday, but the thought of what Linc and the children had done for her this past weekend still brought a smile to her face. Promptly at nine a.m. on Saturday, Emma had knocked on her door and Linc had barged in, carrying a breakfast tray. The plate had contained several misshapen pancakes, a small bowl of fresh strawberries and blueberries, and a cup of her favorite herbal tea prepared specially for her by Emma.

The day had been declared a “Coddle Christy” day and the trio had done so with great enthusiasm. She’d been encouraged to do nothing but eat and sleep and although she’d been certain she didn’t need a nap, she’d found herself snoozing in Linc’s lounge chair when they’d gone to his house to water his flowers.

His thoughtfulness had given her a few bittersweet moments because their time of sharing a house would be ending soon. While it wouldn’t be long before she’d only have her memories to sustain her, what fun it was to create them.

Her good mood faded, however, as Linc pulled her and her supervisor, Denise, into a treatment room during his morning rounds and closed the door.

“I want Christy to look after Mrs Connally this week,” he informed Denise in his typical, authoritative physician’s voice.

Shocked by his request, Christy listened with a combination of horrified surprise, embarrassment, and anger at his high-handedness. “I appreciate your request, Doctor,” the charge nurse said diplomatically, “but I can’t honor it. If I allowed the doctors to pick and choose which nurses would look after their patients, I’d have a staffing nightmare.”

“It’s in Mrs Connally’s best interests for Christy to be her nurse,” he argued. “Have I ever asked for a favor before?”

“Well, no, but I can’t establish a precedent. If the other doctors—or the nurses—learned I gave you a special favor, I’ve have a mutiny on my hands.”

“Who has to know?” he said. “This is strictly between the three of us.”

“I realize the medical staff each has his or her favorite nurses, but I work hard to spread the difficult cases around. Christy already has several. I can’t load her with one more.”

“Then pass one of hers to someone else.”

“I could, but why do you want her for this particular case?” Denise asked, ever blunt. “I have more experienced nurses—”

“This woman and her family need Christy right now.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t have to. However, I know what I’m talking about.”

Denise frowned. “I’m sorry, but if you want me to bend the rules, I need a good reason to do so. Why is Christy the only nurse who can take care of your post-mastectomy patient?”

Christy’s anger and embarrassment faded as the reasons were painfully obvious. To Linc’s credit, he didn’t divulge her story but simply reiterated his stance.

“Because I believe she is,” he said. “Let’s leave it at that, shall we?”

Seeing Denise’s mulish expression, Christy knew her supervisor wouldn’t give in. Linc wasn’t trying to draw attention to her but he must be concerned about his patient to ask for such an unusual favor.

“I can explain,” she addressed her supervisor quietly. “I had a double mastectomy myself.”

Denise’s argumentative expression vanished and she looked as shocked as if the floor had disappeared underneath her feet. “You?”

“Yeah. About five years ago.”

“My patient needs to see she can still have a full and happy life,” Linc added. “Because of her personal experience, Christy can show her that in a way few others can.”

Denise let out a deep breath. “Okay. You’ve been reassigned. Tanya can take Mr Wiseman.” She paused, peering over her reading glasses. “You should have told me about this before now.”

She shrugged. “I’ve told a few of my patients if they’ve had similar surgeries, but I didn’t necessarily want it to be common knowledge.”

“You do realize I’ll take advantage of your experience in the future, don’t you?”

Christy nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Then it’s settled.” Denise addressed Linc. “Are you satisfied, Doctor?”

He worked his mouth in an obvious attempt to hide a grin. “Absolutely.”

“Good.” Denise strode from the room, leaving Christy alone with Linc.

“I’m sorry for putting you on the spot,” he began, “but Renee Connally is having a difficult time coping with her diagnosis. She’s forty years old, has three children, and is convinced her life is over.”

“Is it?” she asked.

“The cancer is invasive, but we caught it early and her sentinel lymph nodes are clear. You were the first person I thought of who might convince her that she can get past this. I’m sorry I outed you.”

“The news was bound to break sooner or later,” she said, “but don’t worry about it. Meanwhile, I’ll talk to her.”

“Thanks,” he said. “The sooner you get her to look positively at her future, the better.”

Christy found Renee dozing, her husband in the chair beside her bed. As soon as she walked in, the woman opened her eyes.

“I’m Christy and I’ll be taking care of you,” she said calmly. “Are you staying ahead of your pain?”

“For the most part.”

Christy chatted about non-consequential topics while she checked Renee’s drain and offered to teach her how to maintain it as soon as Renee was able. After discussing a few other physical issues with her, Christy said cheerfully, “Doctor says we have to get you moving, so I’m going to bump your hubby from his chair. You can sit there for a while.”

As her husband jumped up, Renee shook her head. “I’d rather not. There isn’t any point, is there?”

“Of course there is. Lying in bed won’t help you return to your normal life.”

“That’s the point. My life isn’t normal any more, is it?”

“Not by your old standards, but whatever treatment you face won’t last for ever. You’re facing a tough period, to be sure, but you can get past this. You have to, for your children’s sakes.”