Unleashed (29 page)

“One day
, I decided I wanted to see what all the BDSM fuss was about. I found Ezra bent over a bench with his new master thrusting away- giving Ezra what I’d refused him for years. I felt like I’d died. I went home and tried to make a life with Divina. I refused Ezra’s calls, his apologies. Marcus started hounding me. I avoided him, as well. But you can never really avoid Marcus. I didn’t just lose my lover. I felt like I lost my life, my family.”

“Oh my God, Cort,” I cry out, feeling the betrayal as if it were happening to me right this second.

“OMG, doesn’t quite cover how I felt. There are no words… So when we saw Ezra rutting on Adelaide the night of his punishment, I understood your feelings. Fuck, I felt them again myself. I wish you never saw that. I wish I never did. So I stopped all touching after that incident just as I had before. The first time it took me an entire year to go back to Ezra, but I still didn’t give him what we both wanted. I’ve held myself back from truly making love to him… until last night. I stopped touching Ezra again when I saw him with Adelaide. So, yeah, Ezra has been a little bit frustrated with both of us.”

“Um- Ezra
went insane when I told him we saw him taking the bitch. He broke the coffee table, and then the end table against the wall of the dungeon. I guess I know why now… Who was it? You don’t have to tell me, but I’m extremely curious.”

“De
xter, it was Dexter.” Cort distastefully hisses the name.

“W
hat?” I yelp.

“Yep, that little bastard
sadist. He’s such a tiny guy. But fuck, Dexter even trips my radar. I think that’s why I had such a hard time. Something about Dexter screams sex and dominance- trips every switch we all have. When I went back to Ezra, he was still working with Dexter. I told Dex that I would train as well, but he wasn’t to touch me. When I was a good little subbie for Dexter, he had me do things I didn’t want to do. You will do all sorts of things for your damned master. He made me touch Ezra again for both of our goods. And I haven’t been able to stop since. What Dexter made me do was mild in comparison to our Master.” By the tone of voice Cortez uses, I know he doesn’t mean Master Ez. I’ve heard that same tone of awe out of everyone’s mouths. It’s who Kristal snidely called the creator of the universe, and got slapped because of it.

“Are they still lovers?” My voice
is strained, uncomfortable.

“No- seems that once your partner
catches you in the act, you kind of avoid it again. It was a onetime deal. I guess Ezra confuses Dexter. He wasn’t happy that the one time he experimented with another guy, he was caught.” Cort snickers at Dexter’s expense.

“Yeah, I could see that,” I snort out.

“It’s not an issue of sharing yourself with someone. It was cheating. I would have said yes if Ezra had asked. Even you figured this out without asking. You knew Aaron was a onetime offer. But it made me realize I would never have to doubt your faithfulness. Kat, I want to see you with other people, but only if I have a say in it. But, fuck! Seeing Dexter behind Ezra made me see red. I wanted to kill them both. There is a huge difference!”

“I think Ezra knows that now. I wonder if he was tryin
g to hurt you for leaving him when you married Divina. It’s similar to when you pulled the skullfuck to get back at him for not sharing.”

“I know that! But we’
re talking about feelings. Emotions are irrational. I can’t just turn off the hurt,” Cort cries.

“My advice is
talk to Ezra. You’ve never gotten this out with him. You also need to touch him again- the way you both need. Irrational or not, there is always a logical solution.”

“Could you sound more like him? Next thing you’ll tell me it’s not what I want, but w
hat I need, or another of Der. Zeitler’s mantras,” Cortez snidely hisses.

“Hey,
this conversation is over. I was just trying to understand and help. I’ll leave it alone.”
We walk into Edge both deep in contemplation.

Chapter
Twenty-One

We push into the foyer with great difficulty since both of our hands are loaded down with pastry boxes. I hear a lot of voices drifting in from the large open room of the kitchen/d
ining room/living room area.

I’
m already on edge, not only from seeing Ray again, but also from Cort’s attitude towards my advice. I can give it, but it doesn’t mean he has to take it. But this is not what gets my blood boiling. I hate it when people arrive early. And when I say early, I don’t mean a few minutes- I mean hours. This has happened to me in the past for Thanksgiving. Guests show up thinking they’re helping, when in actuality they’re just in your damned way. I already live with a houseful of people. I don’t need to add to the pandemonium. I paste a forced smile on my face and exit the foyer.

My eyes widen as I take in the thirty plus people milling around my house. I still have to get the food set up and get around for the party. This is not helping. Lovely,
it’s just so damned lovely. When I say two pm, I mean two pm, not eleven am. Now I will be forced to feed these bastards lunch while I look like shit since I haven’t prettied myself up yet.

I push the boxes on the island and start arranging the baked goods on their pretty trays. If I ignore the guests maybe they aren’t here yet. Yeah, it’s not working. I imprint their faces into my memory.
They’re officially on my shit-list.

“Have you been eating sugar
, again,” I hiss at Ava. She recoils at the venom in my voice.

“Sorry, I told him you’d be mad that they were here. He didn’t believe me. He said you’d be happy for the help. I told h
im that they’d be in your way.”

“Who? And you didn’t answer me about the sugar?” W
hoever Ava is talking about it number one on the shit-list.

“I only
had an oatmeal cookie,” Ava innocently says as she bats her eyelashes at me.

“Alright, you little
monster, word of advice, if you plan on lying, wipe the chocolate off your mouth first. I know there are no chocolate chips in those cookies we made last night.”

“Dad said it was alright. He gave me a piece of fudge.” I squint my eyes as my daughter throws her father under the bus.

“Dad was also the one that invited everyone early- everyone is already here.” I forget about Ava’s lack of honor the second she tells me that everyone is here.

“Well, if the entire party is here to set up the party, they can go ahead and do it
,” I threaten. “I’ll come out when it’s two o’clock.” I push the boxes away and briskly walk towards my room. I don’t look at anyone, speak to anyone, or acknowledge anyone. I’m thankful that no one notices me or I would’ve lost it.

I put earbuds in and blast hardcore rap into my eardrums as I read over a manuscript for work. My anger still hasn’t subsided by one o’clock when
I go primp in the bathroom. I’m slightly surprised that no one has bothered me or came looking for me. A little hurt, too, that I’m unnecessary. But that is mild compared to the relief of not having to attend three extra hours of a party I didn’t want to attend in the first place. I’m too stressed out to play party hostess with the mostest.

At exactly two o’clock
, I walk down the hall from my room and exit into the foyer. The doorbell rings. It’s nice that someone is right on time. Whoever it is will be my new best friend. Even if it’s Ray, he will be my newest bestest buddy. 

I o
pen the door revealing Monica. “Hey, you’re my new best friend. Thanks for being on time.” I smile brightly at her. And for some odd reason I really am happy to see her. Monica’s unflinching honesty is refreshing.

“Um- hi. Yeah, I was told to come earlier, but when I asked if you knew about it
, they said no. I didn’t think that was wise.” Monica runs her hands down her thighs, smoothing her skirt in a nervous gesture.

Monica
is dressed as she is every day for work: pencil skirt, blouse, and tightly knotted hair. For the hundredth time, I wonder what Monica would look like when she loses her restraint. I’ve had glimpses of the real Monica, and she is rather pretty when she lets her hair down.

“I hav
e a proposition for you, Monica,” I purr. “You can say no. I don’t want to embarrass you. Really, just say no if you’re uncomfortable.”

“O
kay, what is it?” I can tell Monica is still nervous by the way she licks her lips. Body language reading is an exceptional talent to have.

“We need privacy for this co
nversation,” I say as I take Monica’s hand and tug her towards the guest bath that’s positioned in the corner of the living room. I notice a few people quizzically looking at me when I pull her into the bathroom. I innocently smile as I shut the door on the voyeurs, and then I lock it and lean against it. We mustn’t be disturbed. I lean forward and crank the water in the sink to drown out our conversation.

Monica nervously looks around,
like I’m going to attack her or something. “Relax, Monica, I just don’t want them to hear us. It’s a surprise. If you say yes, it will shock them.” She noticeably relaxes against the sink.

The room is very small- just big enough for a sink and toilet. The floor is big enough to rotate in a circle and noth
ing else. It’s a rather intimate setting, but with what I’m proposing, it’s the perfect location.

“I know you and I have had our differences. I know you blamed me at first for Cortez
dropping all of his lovers. I didn’t know anything about it, really. But I came up with a compromise that will benefit us both. If you’re willing to hear me out, that is.” I cross my arms over my chest and I notice Monica’s eyes flash away- curious.

“Okay,” Monica
says as she moistens her lips again.

“You still don’t have a m
aster, correct?” She shakes her head in assent. “I have an interview of sorts set up for you with a new master. He is one of the strongest I know, but you may not like the interview process.”

“What do you mean? I mean, thank you. What is he like? Do you think he will like me?”
Monica’s eyes are bright and a flush creeps over her skin. She looks enlivened.

“Let me explain first
, and then I have a few questions. I will answer anything you need after that, okay?”

“Yes,” she breathes eagerly. I smile- l
ike shooting fish in a barrel.

“I have been t
raining as a dominant, to be a master, and I need a submissive for my final. My instructor is who I think you’d fit best with. Only masters will be present for my final, so you don’t have to worry about a huge audience. I’m not a huge fan of voyeurs, myself. But I do like to watch. I just don’t like to be watched by those I’m uncomfortable around. So if this is an issue for you, it won’t work. I don’t want to force this onto you.”

“I’m like you. It won’t be
a problem if it’s not a lot of people,” Monica shyly says.

“I guess they’
re all testing me or something. It’s a group decision. I don’t get it. Ezra is adamant. I tried to get out of this part, but he commanded otherwise. It’ll be less than ten people, I was assured.”

“That’s good,” Monica says in relief.
“That’s alright. I can deal with that.”

“Our next issue
, and this is necessary, so if it’s a no, then I can’t use you as my submissive… Unless you can reach climax without sexual contact, I’ll have to have permission to touch you.”

Monica’s
mouth opens in a big, silent O shape. I try not to laugh at the expression on her face. I smother it, but fail at suppressing my smile. I blush as soon as Monica realizes that I just asked for permission to make her orgasm.

“I might like that,” Monica
bashfully says while gazing at her feet.

“What?” I
incredulously yelp out. “Monica, you can’t be that desperate for a master. I don’t want you saying yes just because you need a new Dom. I don’t think you understand. I have to top you, own you, and give you pleasure and pain,” I stress. “Your responses will impact whether or not I pass my training. But most of all, my instructor will see through you if you don’t actually welcome my touch. Do you understand what I’m saying?” 

“Yes,” Monica
rasps out. “But won’t he see that you don’t want me in return?” Her voice sounds sad and she won’t look at me. I have a light bulb moment. Damn, I’m an idiot. Why didn’t I see this sooner?

“Monica, do you like girls?” I
ask as I draw her face up to my sight using a fingertip under her chin.

“I don’t know. Being a submissive girl is
confusing. I’ve had masters demand it of me. It gets to be an edge where you don’t know what you want anymore.” Monica lowers her eyelashes, shielding herself with her eyelids.

“Are you attracted to girls outside of the dungeon?”
I coax.