Unleashed (38 page)

“I’m so sorry, Ava. None of this is your fault, yet you have to live through it
, too. What is the newest bullshit they are spreading?”

“They keep say
ing that Dad and Cort are fags,” she spits. “That’s just mean. But the worst is what they say about you, Mom.”

“Ava, honey, you can tell me
anything.” I reach for her and she flinches back. I would take offense, but I can see that Ava is holding back her tears.

“They call you a wh
ore, Mom. They call me a bastard of a whore. They say that you and Dad deserved what Grandpa Ray did to you. Worst is when Whitney said you had sex with Uncle Aaron and Aunt Kayla.”

“If I did or didn’t
, it doesn’t matter. What worries me is that if I had, no one would know except a few close people. Who is this Whitney?”

“Whitney Preston, she was bragging about all this s
tuff her Aunt Adelaide told her.”

I feel my eyes narrow. And for the billionth time in the past week I envision myse
lf beating the bitch to death. “I want you to understand that what adults do is their private business. There are billions of people in this world and we don’t all think alike. The small-minded people scream the loudest when you act in a way that they fear. It’s their fear and judgment that creates their behavior. Usually my actions only affect me and the people I choose to act with. I’m sorry that it is impacting you.”

“They call me a freak,
” Ava spits out.

“You’re not a freak.
Your Dad and I may be freaks, but you’re most definitely not.” I smile to soften the blow. “When I was a little girl, did I dream of living this way? No, I did not. Do I want you to deal with all this shit? No, it’s killing me as I watch you cope. Who says what is normal? I will be proud of you if you grow up and want to live a traditional lifestyle, and I’ll be just as proud if you choose a different path. Ava,  I need you to understand something. I love you with all my heart. I would kill for you. But I will not give up my life for you. I don’t mean the beat of my heart kind of life. I mean the life I live on a daily basis. One day soon, you will grow up and follow your own path. If I were to drop everything and live my life for you, then when you left, I would have nothing. I love your father and Cort, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I wouldn’t expect you to change who you are for me or for your future children. It isn’t selfishness. It’s reality. It’s raw, and it sucks.”

“If we can’t be true to ourselves then we die a little inside.
That’s what’s wrong with these people who are circling us like sharks. They need the thrill of someone else’s strife to make them feel alive since they are dead on the inside. I won’t feed their need.”

“What do I do?” Ava
scrunches her tiny eyebrows in frustration. I want to smooth them out. I worry that my eleven-year-old will have wrinkles by the time she’s twelve, and that’s only weeks away.

“Ignore it, don’t feed into it. If they don’t get a rise out of you
, they will eventually give up. It’s about boundaries. They are pushing yours, trying to get you to do something you’ll regret. You can only control yourself. People can try to control you, but only if you let them. Don’t let them.”

I pull Ava
into my lap ignoring the flash of nausea I’m hit with. I smooth her baby fine, blonde hair. “Sometimes I wish you were still a little kid or acted your age. But right now, I’m so glad you’re as mature as you are. It would have been worse for you if you weren’t a mini-Diane. Are you alright with what your Dad told you?”

I wipe the tears that escape the corner of my ey
es. The broken expression on Ava’s face from when her father gave her an abbreviated history of her conception is imprinted on my brain. I will never forget it and I will never forgive Adelaide for forcing us to tell her something so private. Ava has been clingy ever since. She looks at us as if she’s never seen us before. It’s something that happens when as an adult you realize your parents are people, not just your parents. Most children think their parents’ existence began the moment they were born, that we have no life outside of their own. I didn’t expect to see that expression for at least six more years.

“I’m okay. You didn’t do anything
wrong. Life goes on, right?” Ava gives me a weak smile.

“Live your life with no regret, Av
a. That’s all I wish for you.” I cuddle my daughter into my lap, even though she is taller than me, but not as heavy yet. I want to weep from the fact that Ava is allowing me to hold her like a baby. My eyes close as exhaustion waves over me.

“Hey, little one, go get your stuff packed up.” A silky voice breaks
into my nap. Ava slides off me and leaves the room.
“What are you doing here, Marcus?” I scrub at my eyes, trying to wake myself up. Marcus stands before me like an apparition.

“
I- uh…” Marc nervously taps from foot-to-foot. The movement looks strange on such a confident man. I tilt my head and scrutinize him. He’s always doing the same to me. Turnabout is fair play. I was surprised when I found out he is only four years older than me. Diane Zeitler is a cradle robber. He’s tall and lanky with dark curly hair and warm brown eyes. It’s his gaze that changes the man from handsome to imposing. I know he is a very sweet person, but when he enters a room, he command it and everyone within its confines.

“How are you feeling?” Marc’
s concern almost takes away from the fact that he didn’t tell me why he’s here.

“I’ve been better. I thought I’d feel better by
now. This is getting ridiculous,” I complain.

“Oh, hey, you’re here already.” Ezra calls from the foyer as he walks into the living room.

“I guess I’m early.” Marcus sits down in Ezra’s usual chair and makes himself at home.

“Yeah, Cort is doing what he’s known for, that’s why I’m late.”
Ezra sighs heavily in defeat.

“
What’s up with you two? You’ve been fighting constantly for the past week or two.” Marcus looks even more frustrated than Ezra.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Ezra mumbles.
“Kat, how are you feeling? We made you a doctor’s appointment in an hour. Cort will meet us there.”

“Why do I need an appointment?
You said this was normal.” I scowl because I hate having things planned without my knowledge.

“It is normal, but it’s not sub drop. You were experiencing a few side effects from the initiation, but what’s wrong with you
is
normal,” Ezra stresses.

“God, I’m agree
ing with Cort on this one, you’re annoying as fuck lately. What the hell are you going on about?” I disrespectfully say.

Marcus gives me a look like he wants to spank my ass for Ezra. I give the
challenging look right back at him. His hands tense on the arms of the chair and he starts to stand. I immediately regret my disrespect and start to slide down the couch to get farther away from him. Seeing my remorse and fear, Marcus broadly smiles at me. He can be one scary motherfucker.

“I thought you’d figure it out, but as Cort has brought up countless times in the past few weeks, you need
capital letters or perhaps a sky writer for you to get a clue,” Ezra teasingly says, but there is an edge of truth to his words. 

“Is that what you’ve been arguing about, my thick skull?”
I nastily ask.

“Partly-”

“Great, I’m the fallout of your relationship,” I cut Ezra off.

Marcus rises from his seat to
sits next to me. I cling to the arm of the couch to get away from him. He slides closer to me and rests his hand on my knee. That’s all it takes, I’m his to command. I stop fucking around. I would abase myself if I looked into his eyes. I think I will suggest sending him to school with Ava. He would scare the bitch in training, Whitney, of the Adelaide persuasion. 

“Fabulous,” I can hear t
he amusement in Marcus’ voice.

“You’re late. I understand with all the stress that you wouldn’t notice or maybe the stress was the factor. When your illness didn’t subside and you missed another monthly I made you an appointment. You’re going to the doctor for prenatal care.
Katya, I think you’re pregnant,” Ezra drops a bombshell.

All the blood drains from my body and settles at my feet. I can’t be pregnant? Not with all the shit going on, it’s a horrible time. We haven’t had much time for romance lately. It was almost two months ago when the three of us made love, we haven’t since
, with the exception of last week before my initiation. I almost faint when I remember the unprotected sex I had with the stranger, the Master.

“Not with him? Ezra,” I plead.

Marcus freezes beside me and instantly thaws. He pulls me into the side of his chest. I see the look he gives Ezra
explain it or I will.
I don’t understand it.

“No worries on that. Part of the reason Cort is so damn cranky is that I told him no sex until we knew you were pregnant. I wanted it from when the three of us were together. So we left you alone. The night of the initiation
, I knew you were pregnant. I couldn’t send you off knowing what would happen without being with you first. My need to claim you was so very strong. So, yeah, Cort is really pissed at me for a billion little reasons.”

“Why
did it have to be from when the three of us were together, and how did you know I was pregnant?” I numbly ask.

“I
figured if you got pregnant, then we both could claim the child. I know one of us will be the true biological parent, but we both would’ve had a hand in the conception. If you didn’t get pregnant, we would keep doing it until you did. All of us make love, and then abstain. Cort hated the idea because of the waiting. We just lucked out that it worked the first time. He wants to kill me for having sex with you when he didn’t get to.” Ezra looks arrogant, and I want to smack the smug from his face.

“We don’t even know if I’m pregnant. If your calculations are wrong
, I could have conceived during or before the initiation. That would make you or the mystery master the father. I agree with Cort, you’re a fucktard.” 

Marcus reaches over
and squeezes my chin until I raise my eyes to meet his. He glares at me and I cringe away. “Ezra used to be your master and you will respect him.” Marc’s voice is low and deadly.

“We’re talking about using me as a breed mare. It’s not about master
rights, Marcus.” I meekly speak, but there is a defiant edge.

“Ezra
may have gone about things wrong. But it’s the disrespectful manner in which you and Cort speak to him on this matter. I would tan your ass if you weren’t pregnant. As soon as you have this child and are recuperated, I will punish you for this. I will not forget, Katya,” he promises.

“I’m sorry, sir,” I cry out.

“It’s not me you need to apologize to, girl,” Marcus growls.

“I’m sorry,
Ezra. There is just so much shit happening at once. I can’t take it anymore.” I start to sob. Ezra walks over to me and Marcus holds an arm out for him to stop.

“No, I made Katya
cry, and I will comfort her,” Marcus calmly demands. Ezra looks like he wants to argue, but just drops into his chair and watches us.

“Come here,” Marcus
murmurs and pulls me to his lap. I stiffen because it feels awkward or maybe because it doesn’t. It feels comforting and nice. But he is the equivalent of my father-in-law, even if he is only a few years older than me. I doubt Diane would appreciate me cuddling up to her husband. I try to break away from his embrace.

“What’
s your issue?” Marcus quietly asks, rejection thick in his voice. “Take comfort that is offered, it’s the rules. You learned all this stuff from Dex, he may have taught you to be a great Domme, but you learned submission from example.”

“I was thinking of Diane
, and it makes this feel awkward,” I whisper my admission.

“You know what I am, as does she. This is comfort, not infidelity, Katya. You know exactly what I mean. You know the rules just as I do. Relax, I scared you and I don’t
want you to be frightened of me,” Marc’s soothing voice lulls me into compliance.

“I’m going to round up your records for the doctor’s office and see if Ava is ready
to go. She’s staying at ShadowHaven until after the wedding. She wants to help decorate. I can’t believe it’s a few days away. Aaron grew up so fast.” Ezra laughs as he leaves the room- as he leaves me in Marcus’ care.

I slowly melt into Marcus’ embrace. I twine one of his ringlets around my pinky finger while he holds me.
I bury my face into the side of his neck. “Mmm… you smell nice,” escapes before I can stop it, and I want to shove my foot into my mouth.

“
Where have I heard that before,” Marc rumbles against my ear as he silently laughs. His arms circle me and tightly hold me. He rubs my back as we wait for Ezra and Ava. “This is nice, I miss this,” he purrs.

“Why? You have Diane.”
He just shrugs. I let it go. You don’t question Marcus unless you have a death wish. He burrows his face in my hair and sighs.