Unleashed (A Bad Boy Stepbrother Romance) (24 page)

Dick.

That’s the only way to describe him.

He seriously knows how to ruin a moment. Not that the moment wasn’t already ruined when I realized I had just let him
finger me on the beach!

I mean, what if someone had seen? What if my neighbor drove by? Or one of my teachers? Or…worse, a bunch of girls from school getting ready to go out and celebrate graduation?

But deep down I know I’m so angry about it because he was right. I
was
scared. I didn’t know what to do. More worrying than that, I didn’t know what to do
next
.

What, should I have just gone to town? I’d have second-guessed myself the entire time. It would have been too awkward.

I start thinking about my orgasm… and I can’t help but smile. Gosh, it was good, the best I ever had. I can’t get my fingers deep enough inside me… my arms are too short. I don’t know what he was touching, but it felt great—

Stop it
, I think to myself.
You made a mistake, you idiot! You’re a smart girl, remember? You’re smarter than this!

You know not to get yourself into situations you can’t handle.

Always be in control. That way, you’re always prepared!

But somehow I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop thinking about the kiss we shared, the way his lips just utterly claimed mine, the way he taught me how to kiss him without needing to say anything.

I can’t stop thinking about how good a kisser he was, how it felt so good to kiss him, so easy, so natural.

How I just fell into his arms, kissed him back like I was already his.

Like I was already his!

I don’t belong to anybody, so how can I be thinking like this?

But there was another side to that coin, one that makes my stomach flutter, my heart race.

I kissed him like
he
was already
mine!

I can’t help but think about the feeling of pushing up against him, feeling his hardness against my abdomen.

He was
so
hard. I mean, I always knew that men got hard, but I never really expected it to feel like
that
.

It was like an iron bar, and that was even
through
his jeans! That was all for me, desire for me.

The truth is, I did want to do more… go further. But I also didn’t, because I know, deep down, that this is never going to work. It can’t work.

We’re wrong for each other. It would be a fling, and I don’t want a fling. It would be a tryst, but I want something more serious.

Oh, what am I doing to myself? Why am I torturing myself like this? Why did I even let him do that to me! I can’t believe it. The first time a guy fingers me and it’s like I’m mesmerized, like I’m powerless.

And it just happened! I never expected my first time doing anything with a boy to be in public like that, so impulsive, so out of control.

I’ve got the gown draped over my arm, and it’s getting heavier, and I’ve got my cap in my other arm, my bag hanging off my wrist, and I’m walking in these uncomfortable pumps, and I’ve still got fifteen minutes to go.

And
it’s getting dark.

It’s been such a weird and tiring day. I want to say that nothing has gone right, but I know that I’d just be lying to myself.

I allow myself a brief, self-indulgent smile. I guess I know now that the hottest boy in school wants me.

And only me. Those were his words.

But now I’m wondering why I even stormed off from Chance, why I just didn’t get back into his car, let him drive me home.

At least I’d be home by now, into some comfortable shorts, lounging on the sofa.

But I
know
why! It’s because he’s a dick. He just can’t help it. That’s just who he is.

So why do I like him so much?

Maybe it’s not just that. Maybe I didn’t get into the car because I’m embarrassed. Because I don’t want to listen to him call me out, or tease me, after he’s just had his two fingers buried inside me, after I’ve just spent all that time pressing my body into him, moaning, sweating… coming.

Maybe I didn’t want to hear him goad me into an argument, try to get under my skin, try to make me feel as if I’m somehow weird, somehow different, that I don’t know how to give a blowjob.

I hear a girl’s screeching laugh, and then see, zooming down the road, some expensive car with the top down. “No more school, baby!” she shrieks as the car whips by me.

From the glimpse I catch of her, of how she’s dressed, she is going out on the town, fake ID at the ready.

I have to go home, feed the cat, and probably spend the whole night unable to get Chance off my mind.

I sigh, my shoulders drop, and I trudge on to my empty home.