United (The Ushers) (2 page)

“Today. I have to drive to Springfield. We need a new pack physician…I hate having to travel for this stuff.”

“Sorry, Bee.” Monica sighed. “Do you think your mother would come back?” Bianca’s mother was a nurse midwife in Boston.

“Yeah, maybe. Especially with the baby on the way. I’ll ask her at the next full moon. It’s hard for her, being around Pack though.”

Bianca’s mother, Ellie, lived as a pack outlier, preferring the company of humans. She had been mated many years before, but her mate had killed himself when they learned that she was carrying the Albina. Bianca’s mother had never entirely moved past it.

“The doctor who is doing the scan knows you’re wolf?” Monica asked.

Bianca nodded. Most humans weren’t aware of werewolves. Doctors and other medical professionals knew but kept the secret. Lycanthropy, as they called it, fell under doctor-patient confidentiality. Most of the time, the wolves healed quickly from any injuries or illnesses, and doctors weren’t necessary, but obstetrics was different, as the wolf body required slightly different prenatal care.

“Jack is coming with me.” Bianca smiled. “We’ll find out if the little pupstar is going to be a boy or a girl.”

“I’m not-so-secretly hoping for a girl.” Jack grinned.

“Who is going to do security here today?” Monica looked at her Guardians.

“Ellen will be with you,” Bianca decided. “Teddy is here visiting, so Kathy is spending a lot of time with him, helping him hone his telepathy skills.”

“Good. Any chance we can lure Ted away from Mid-A?” Monica teased. Ted, the Alpha of Mid-Atlantic Pack, had the rare ability to create a mental barrier, to block other wolves—even pack-mates, even family—from his mind.

“Not likely. I don’t think Mama and Pop want to come out of retirement.” Jack grinned. “But I miss Ted. I’m glad he’s here for a few days.”

“Well, enjoy your time visiting with him. Why don’t you take a few days? Ellen can cover for as long as you need.” Monica loved being able to do little things like that for her wolves. Nobody worked as hard as Jack and Bee, and no one had given up so much. A few days off to spend with his brother was exactly what Jack needed.

“Thank you, Alpha.” Jack ducked his head in a boyish way.

Bianca groaned. “Goddess it turns me on when he does that.” Bianca let loose a distinctly lascivious growl. “Bye, Monica.” She stuck her tongue out at her Alpha and grabbed her mate, towing him toward the elevator.

Monica could hear them laughing as they stepped inside and pressed the button to return them to the lobby. Her wolves’ happiness gave her a sense of well-being like nothing else. She closed her eyes and basked in it for a moment.

“Are you free?”
She felt Fionn’s voice in her brain. She closed her eyes hard against the tears. His touch on her mind was so clear and bright and beautiful. It was like that first ray of sunlight to burst over the horizon at dawn. She hated herself for loving it.

“Yes. Come over any time.”
She sighed. For him, she’d always be free, for better or for worse.

“Annie and I are coming now.”

She felt that burst of clarity again, and he was gone.

Mere minutes later, Fionn and Annie came striding into her office like they owned the place. Monica leaned back in her chair, looking him over. Fionn Murphy was perfection in jeans and a white tank top. She could see the outline of his nipple ring through the thin cotton fabric, and her fingers itched to pinch it. He’d dyed his hair again—platinum blond—but it suited him. He wore his beard shaggy; for a moment, she imagined how soft it would feel against her skin. Her wolf sat up and took notice of his smell. He shared that earthy wolf smell that they all had, but it was overlaid by something uniquely him: salt and wood smoke and man. She swallowed hard, realizing her mouth was going dry.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” Monica snapped, her eyes meeting his.

Fionn winced. He knew how hard this was on her, yet he persisted in his refusal to claim her as his mate. Having never been mated before, he didn’t understand the way it would feel. She found herself forgiving him before he’d even had a chance to talk.

She sighed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“No, I deserve that.” His voice was quiet. “Annie and I need to go south to meet with the Appalachian pack. They control the Carolinas, Georgia, parts of Tennessee, and into Florida.”

“Okay.” Monica nodded.

He was leaving. Again. These road trips with Annie were growing more frequent. Jealousy rose in her throat like bile. Monica had witnessed first-hand the love an Usher could have for their Guide. She had seen Bianca and Sara sweet on each other for years before Jack arrived. As quickly as the jealousy grew, it was replaced with guilt. Hadn’t she taken comfort in Angelo’s friendship just the night before?

“I’d like to spend a few days with my kids,” Fionn explained. “I haven’t seen Rose and Dev in months. I feel like an asshole.”

“You should. Kids need a father. Why on Earth you would impregnate humans is beyond me.” Monica rolled her eyes. Then she caught sight of the stricken look on Annie’s face.
Fuck.
Annie blamed herself for Fionn’s activities in the years she’d been in California. “Annie, I didn’t mean…”

“No, you’re right.” Fionn shrugged. “I was stupid. It’s not Annie’s fault. And you did mean it. And that’s fine. But they’re my kids, Mo. I love them. I need to see them—and I won’t ever regret being their dad.”

She felt her stomach flutter when he called her Mo. He was the only person who had ever called her that. Her eyes drifted closed. She wanted to hear him whisper it in her ear in the throes of passion, to feel affection pouring through the bond. She wanted him to burn for her just as she burned for him.

“How long will you be gone?” she heard herself asking.

“A month, if all goes well,” Annie answered for Fionn. “We’ll be gone about a month. We can leave today and be back before the next full moon.”

“You’re not Amazon,” Monica reminded him. “You can shift wherever you like.”

“Mo, I know you don’t understand my refusal to claim you. I don’t entirely understand it.” Fionn approached her chair, got on his knees in front of her. “But I enjoy sharing the full moon with you. I can’t deny that I’m an asshole and I’m treating you badly. Hell, I’m the one who spent twenty years fucking up, and you’ve forgiven that and a host of other things. I know you deserve so much better than me, but when we’re wolves together—when the Mother’s touch is on us during the full moon—I only want to feel that…here…at home. And you’re part of that.” He laid his head in her lap, and she savored the feel of it, the weight of him against her as he relaxed onto her legs. Her hand stole into his dyed-blond hair, ruffling though it, the texture like silk under her fingers. She felt his wolf within him, reaching for her touch, and knew that he denied himself as much as her. She stroked from his hair down into his beard and watched as his lips parted and he drew a ragged breath.

Annie stood quietly, then tiptoed from the room, closing the door behind her.

“Fionn,” Monica whispered. “Why are you doing this to us?”

“I don’t know, dammit.” His eyes clenched shut as he sat back on his heels, burying both hands in his hair. Finally, he looked up and his eyes met hers, agony hovering just under the surface. “I’m falling apart, just being close to you.”

“Kiss me,” she demanded.

He looked at her, startled.

“C’mon, Finny, kiss me,” she repeated.

“Mo…”

“
No, Fionn Murphy
.” She stood up, tugging him to his feet with her. “You need to know something. I’m your mate. I know what that is, how it feels. You’ve never been mated before. You’ve fucked and played around, but you don’t know what it feels like to kiss your mate. Don’t you want to know? Aren’t you even the
littlest
bit curious?” She stood up on the tips of her toes, pressing her face to the skin of his throat and inhaling his scent. Oh Goddess, up close, he smelled even more intense and amazing .

“Mo,” he pleaded.

She met his eyes and saw in them a hunger that sent echoes of need into her. Feeling the heady power of seduction, she leaned forward and licked from the hollow between his collarbones up to his ear, and she bit, scissoring the lobe between her teeth. She felt the rumble of a growl run through him, and he pushed her away. Her eyes closed, tears forming with a sting behind her nose.

Then his hands were bracketing her face, and his lips crushed down hard on hers. This was no gentle kiss. Nothing like Angelo’s caring caresses, intended for comfort. This kiss wasn’t about caring. It was full of anger, lust, regret. But as his tongue swept through her mouth and his elemental male taste tingled all the way to her toes, she felt her teeth lengthen, and she smiled against his lips.
Her mate
.

His assault on her mouth lost some of its fervor, replacing the urgency with languor as he swept his tongue through her mouth again and again, as if he wanted to memorize her taste. Her hands fisted in the cotton of his tank top, pinching the nipple ring underneath; his hands sank into her hair, tugging. She felt with her tongue and realized his teeth had shifted, too. The knowledge sent a victorious thrill through her.

He knew. He knew, dammit.

He pulled away, leaving her bereft. She watched as he dragged the back of his hand across his mouth in horror. “I’m sorry, Mo. I should never—ever—have kissed you in anger.”

“If that’s the only way I can ever have you, I would take it,” she confessed. It broke her to admit it, but she knew the pull of mate to mate.

His eyes closed, and a spasm of pain crossed his face.

“You deserve so much better,” he whispered. He ran a gentle hand down the side of her face and grimaced. “I have to go. We can talk, after I get back?”

She nodded. Of course they could talk. All they ever did was talk.

Chapter Two

F
IONN
D
RAGGED
H
IS
H
AND
through his hair as he ran from Monica’s apartment. Annie, thank Goddess, left him alone as he crossed the campus to the woods. He dropped his jeans and his shirt at the edge of the woods and shifted to his wolf self. Teeth and claws growing sharp, he felt the animal claim him, his hearing and sense of smell growing more acute. His bones lengthened and strengthened, and fur covered his body. As soon as his change was complete, he took off at a run in the woods, letting the animal handle his emotions.

He and Annie had finally come to terms with the love affair that had nearly destroyed his life twenty years earlier. At first, upon seeing her again, he swore she would be the only mate he’d ever accept. She had rebuffed him—gently at times, and not so gently at others, always refusing his advances. Meanwhile, she had continued to put him in close enough proximity to Monica that the mating instinct would pull at him. It had taken them months to negotiate their “just friends” relationship, but now it was as comfortable as his favorite pair of jeans. Annie was his best friend, his confidant, his confessor. She understood the conflict in his head, if not his heart.

The more time Fionn spent with Monica, the more he wanted her. He understood now, his biology and his destiny both called him to her. His wolf was riding him hard, urging him to complete the claiming. The kiss, good Goddess, how could he have touched her with so much anger pulsing through him? The broken look on her face afterward made him want to howl, knowing he’d done that to her. He didn’t deserve her. He knew his duty, gathering the wolves and uniting them under a single meta-pack. He felt like a goddamn politician, but ultimately, he was the basest kind of animal. He threw his head back in a howl. The feeling of it ripping through his throat was satisfying. He needed this pain. Most wolves ran for comfort, for companionship, but not Fionn. Fionn ran for the pain of it. For the air burning his lungs. For the muscles tearing in exertion. He leapt over a small stream and felt the landing impact as he crouched on the other side, chest heaving. It was never enough. He pushed harder. He wanted to be exhausted, depleted. He deserved to have every muscle in his body ache.

“Brother.”
He heard Angelo’s voice as the other wolf approached. He smelled Monica on Angelo—sweet, a little spicy, like honey and cinnamon. Snarling, he turned to face him. Fionn felt the flesh on the top of his nose wrinkling as his teeth snapped together. He knew Angelo was sleeping with Monica—he could smell her scent on the other wolf. He hated that it made him jealous and angry. His insecurities and self-loathing drove Monica away, yet his animal side couldn’t help but respond jealously to his mate seeking companionship elsewhere. How could he deny her the simple comforts of her friend when he was denying her the one thing she needed most—her mate?

“Fionn. Calm down, please. I don’t want to fight you.”
Angelo’s voice in his head was calm and placating. Fionn forced the hair on his back to settle. He sat on his haunches and watched as the other wolf shifted back to his human form. Angelo was not a big man, nor was he a big wolf. Yet, for all his lack of size, Angelo was unapologetically wolf. His power was in his intellect. Fionn had felt his mind, and it was as sharp as a razor, clean and powerful. He had an astounding attention to detail and an almost omniscient business sense. His human form was compact and lightly muscled. His tattoos marked him as dangerous, but for a Third, he didn’t have many of them. He preferred to carry his accomplishments internally. Completing his shift, Angelo crossed his arms and looked at Fionn. He didn’t hide his nakedness; he just waited.