Unfinished (7 page)

We’d reached
my car, but I still hadn’t made a move to leave.  “I really don’t want you to
walk away and me not see you again,” he said, his voice a little gravelly. 

“I talk to you
all the time,” I smiled, leaning back against the car.  I was feeling
lightheaded from the beer and a little heady from his proximity.  I couldn’t
deny the pull that I felt with him.  It made everything feel a little off
kilter and yet completely steady all at once.  I was having a hard time taking
the boy I knew and the man in front of me and reconciling the two. 

“Yeah, but I
like seeing you while we’re talking.  I’ve missed this,” he smiled. 

“I like seeing
you, too,” I admitted.  His eyes were hypnotic and I know I could easily get
lost in them.  I’d always known it was dangerous to get lost in those eyes. 
But now, after all of this time, things were different.  We weren’t kids
anymore. Looking at the man in front of me and the reaction my body was having
to him was enough proof of that.  This man was more than I could handle.  I was
pretty sure of it.  Still, there was that pull. 

“Good,” he
said leaning in a little closer.  I felt my breath catch wondering if maybe he
was going to kiss me. He seemed to be wondering the same thing as question and
indecision danced across his features.  I was sure he was about to close the
distance, but then he moved back.  I felt real disappointment at the loss of
proximity.

We were quiet
again, neither of us wanting to end the moment.  I couldn’t help but study
him.  I began to catalog each of his features.  I wanted to be able to amend my
mental picture of him from this point forward.  Just in case.  It felt like he
was about to walk away from me again and I couldn’t help but want to find a way
to stall him.

“Look, I know
it’s late and that you have an early flight in the morning, but if you want to
hang out longer…” He was looking at me and at that moment I saw a hint of the
boy I used to know.  I bit my lip to keep from looking overly anxious by
blurting out, YES.  “I’d invite you over to the hotel, but I’m sharing a suite
with a bunch of smelly dudes,” he said.

“You could
come back with me.” The words were out before I’d had time to think them
through.  Had I really just invited Owen to my room at two in the morning? If I
didn’t have such a history with him, I’d probably feel a little cheap. But
honestly, I just wasn’t ready to let this night end.

He smiled and
I couldn’t help but swoon at his little smirk.  I’d seen it many times, but
having its full power unleashed on me was new.

“I’d like
that,” he said, taking a step closer.

“Okay then,
let’s go,” I managed.

Chapter Nine

Owen didn’t
have a car.  He’d ridden over with the guys and had planned on taking a cab
home. He climbed in with me and we headed to my hotel. Neither of us said much
on the drive.  Maybe he, like me, was wondering if this was a good idea.  I
kind of hated myself for feeling so much angst at this situation. But he made
me feel 17 again and I felt way out of my league with the whole situation.

The valet took
the car and we headed towards the elevators.  We made small talk as we waited.
I kind of wanted to go hide under a rock. I was suddenly very nervous.  Maybe
it was the silence or the small confined elevator, but by the time we actually
reached my room I was a hot mess on the inside.  I really hoped he couldn’t
tell.  Honestly, it kind of seemed like he was in the same boat.  He was
distracted, looking around the room, eyes pausing on the bed before taking a
seat on the sofa.  I let out a breath and headed to the mini fridge.

“Drink?” I
asked pulling two tumblers off of the shelf.

“Please.”  He
leaned back into the couch and made himself comfortable.  He crossed one leg
over his knee and watched me as I made us each a drink.  I made mine a little
stronger.  I kicked off my heels and moved over to join him on the sofa.
“Thanks,” he smiled, taking a sip, his eyes still on my face. 

“Stop looking
at me like that,” I blurted.  He laughed. Loudly. 

“How am I
looking at you?” he asked.

I sighed. “I
don’t know…like you read my mind or something.”

“I can’t.  But
now I wish that I could,” he smiled.  I shook my head and settled into the
corner of the couch and pulled a pillow onto my lap and faced him.

“You’re
nervous again.” It wasn’t a question. The fact that he wasn’t afraid to point
out my nerves frustrated me.  Couldn’t he just let me pretend I was hiding it?

“I know.  It’s
not really nerves as much as it is just when I think about the situation I can
barely believe that we are here right now,” I admitted.

“You mean,
here in this room?” he asked. The way he said it made the hair on the back of
my neck stand up. For some reason it felt intimate. 

“No,” I lied. 
“I mean, it’s odd for me.  Sometimes when I look at you I see the old Owen. 
Then, you are someone completely new. It’s strange to fit both of you together.”
I wondered if I was making any sense.

He smiled. 
“Still the same Owen for the most part,” he said.  He looked so relaxed, so
comfortable that I began to feel my own guard slipping. 

“Yeah,” I
agreed quietly.

“I feel the
same way, ya know. I mean as much as you are my Ally from before, you’re
different.  You have life under your belt now.  It’s made you more…” He let the
sentence fall, unable to pinpoint the words.  I was still stuck on
my Ally
.

“More?” I
urged him on, curious as to how he saw me now. 

He took a sip
of his drink and held my gaze over the rim of the glass. It was a look with so
many layers, yet I couldn’t grasp a single one long enough to make sense of it.
“Just more,” he finally said. 

“So tell me
more about Chicago,” I said, changing the subject.  He shifted in his seat a
little. 

“Chicago.  It’s windy,” he smiled. 

“You mentioned
that.  How did you end up there?” I asked relaxing into the pillows behind me. 

Owen shrugged.
“Work. After school I got an internship with the company. I ended up working
under Max, the owner, and he kind of took me under his wing.  He taught me the
business from the ground up. He’s given me so many opportunities and now I’m
looking at becoming a VP in the near future,” he said. 

I smiled. 
“It’s nice seeing you so successful.  All of those times that you vowed to
leave town and make things happen…you did it.  I always knew that you would,” I
admitted.

He chuckled.
“I don’t know.  I just wanted to prove myself, you know?  You know how it was. 
I think everyone thought I’d just end up like my dad.  I didn’t want that to
happen,” he said.

“No one
thought that.  It was just pressure you put on yourself.  I’ve always believed
in you,” I said.  I cringed a little at myself, wondering if I was sounding too
much like a sappy cheerleader.  But it was true.  I had always known that Owen
was going to go places.  He had a drive like nobody else that I’d ever known. 
He was determined to not be like his father, but it was his own vision that he
was trying to escape.  He thought he was destined to be a screw up so he was
constantly fighting against it.  But I don’t think anyone thought he was going
to head down that path. 

“Either way,
it pushed me. And I’m happy where I’ve ended up.  It feels good to have done
well.” He looked a little sheepish having just praised himself.  “That sounded
kind of arrogant didn’t it?” he laughed shyly.

“No. You’ve
worked hard, you should own that,” I said. 

“That’s why I
love talking to you.  I don’t have to worry that the shit I say is going to
come out wrong.  You never judge me, Ally.” I loved to hear him say my name.

“I know where
you come from,” I offered. He smiled.

“You want
another drink?” I asked noticing his was empty. 

“Sure,” he
handed me the glass. I got up to fill our glasses and ended up just bringing
the bottle back with me.

“So you really
aren’t seeing anyone?” he asked me as I took my seat.  I felt a small blush
touch my cheeks and hoped that it could be blamed on the whiskey.

“Nope.  Not
right now.  I guess I needed a break after the last guy,” I smiled.

“Oh yes…what
was his name?  Jake?” he asked. 

I nodded.
“Yep.  He was a good guy.  It just wasn’t going to work out,” I shrugged.

“How did you
know?” he asked curiously. It made me think.  No one had ever asked me that
question before.  At least, not in a way that made me stop and look at it
closer. That’s how Owen was, he could ask me a simple question, but it would
end up opening up so much more. 

I took a
moment to think about it. “Well, I guess I just realized that there wasn’t a
future there.  You know how you can be doing something totally ordinary and you
have this moment where everything suddenly feels clear?  I guess I had an
epiphany of sorts,” I said shrugging my shoulders. 

“Oh, an
epiphany,” he teased.

“There is a
song that describes it perfectly, an old Matchbox Twenty song.  In it, this
girl is driving down the road and she looks over at the guy she is dating and
he’s sleeping, and she has this moment where she wonders what he’s dreaming
about.  But, she suddenly realizes that she doesn’t care anymore,” I shrugged,
“That’s kind of how it was.  I just realized that as much as I liked him, as
great of a guy as he was, he wasn’t the one for me.”

“Harsh,” he
laughs.

“No. It’s
real. We were safe.  Things could have gone along indefinitely and we would
have been content I guess. But I realized that I needed more than that.  I
didn’t need safe anymore.  I don’t want to settle for something. You know what
I mean?”

He was smirking
at me.  “What?” I asked

“Nothing. 
Just you.  You just own all of those feelings, it’s rare,” he said. When he
looked at me that way, studying me, it was like he could see straight into my
head and it was a bit unsettling. 

“I wouldn’t
say that.  I mean, I think everyone has a moment like that at some point,
probably quite a few,” I laughed.  “What about you?”

He ruffled his
hair with his hands and it was so sexy that I had to bite back a smile. “I
don’t know.  I get what you are saying. But, the truth is, I don’t let things
get that far in the first place.  I don’t have to worry about that kind of
thing.” He took a sip of his drink. 

“Oh, I see. 
Still playing that game,” I smiled.

“It’s not a
game.  I just know what is important to me.  I have spent my time focused on my
career, trying to make something of myself.”

I gave him a
tilt of my head, to encourage him to continue. He smiled and I noticed the
crinkle that it brought to the corner of his eyes.

“It’s not like
I’m sitting at home eating ice cream and watching action movies.  I go out, I
have a good time. I just don’t need the distraction that comes with labels,” he
said.  I had always admired his honesty. I loved how he could go against the
norm and not feel like he had to make apologies for it.

I laughed.  “I
can see that you aren’t at home eating ice cream,” I said raising an eyebrow.
The man was fit. I had a memory of how nice he looked beneath his shirt and the
way his clothes hugged him now, I had no doubt he looked even better now.

He laughed and
ran his hand across his abdomen.  “Well, ya know-” He went to flex a little
then just fell back into his relaxed position.

“Nice,” I
laughed. 

“The thing is,
Kit Kat,” he said using my old nickname, “you are one of the good girls.  You
have the vision of forever in your head.  You deserve that kind of thing.  You
were made for forever,” he said.

I furrowed my
brow, “You make that sound like an insult.”

“Not at all. 
I think the idea of happily ever after is nice. I even think some people are
lucky enough to find it.  I just think it’s rare,” he admitted.

“It is rare,”
I agreed. “That’s why everybody wants it.  Well, everybody but you,” I teased.
Part of me wondered if he hadn’t moved the conversation in this direction as a
warning to me.  Could he see that I was so attracted to him?  I thought back to
the graduation party and inwardly cringed.  He’d stopped me then too.

“I have a good
life,” he said simply.  He didn’t deny it, and I wondered about that.

“Well, it
sounds like you have been very successful, even if it does sound a bit lonely,”
I said. 

“You think I
am lonely?” he asked quizzically.  I thought about it for a moment longer.  He
didn’t really strike me as a lonely person. From what he’d told me he had a
full life in Chicago.

“Maybe not. 
Maybe I’m just projecting. I see value in distractions,” I said using his word
from earlier.  Oh, God. Had I just propositioned him?  The whiskey was starting
to slow my filter.

“That’s
because you are all emotion.  You allow yourself to feel all kinds of things. I
just tend to avoid that road,” he said.

“That has
always been our big difference, huh?  I feel too much; you keep the world
locked out.”

“You make me
sound like a robot,” he laughed.

“No.  I know
there is a lot going on in there.  You just don’t let many people in to see
it,” I said quietly.  He smiled and set his drink down.

“Well, luckily
I have you back in my life now, so you can help me navigate through all of that
feeling stuff.”  I couldn’t tell if he was teasing me or not.

“Well, fair
warning, it’s a treacherous path.” 

“Noted.  But I
think you’ll keep me on track.” His voice had gone low and it made me feel the
flutter of butterflies again. 

“I am glad I
ran into you tonight.” He took my hand into his. It left a buzz across my skin
as he ran his thumb across the top of my hand. 

“Me too.” My
voice came out sounding uneven.

“I should
probably go.  You have an early flight in the morning,” he said.  He was
right.  I was going to be exhausted tomorrow.

“It is late,”
I agreed. I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay.  I liked having him
here with me.

He moved a
little closer to me and I stopped breathing. He ran his tongue across his lip
and my heart rate picked up.  Keep control, Ally… he just spent the past hour
talking to you about how he doesn’t get involved. Put some distance between you,
before you do something stupid.  I cleared my throat and broke the gaze and the
moment.  He sat back and I was able to breathe a little easier again.

“Alright,” he
smiled, obviously catching on to my not so subtle attempt at space. He stood
and held out his hand to me.  I took it and felt that familiar zing at the
contact. He pulled me to my feet and then pulled me to him.  Our bodies
connected as he held my hand close against him, between us. I looked up at him
and he gave me a small smile; being this close to him, made my heart pound. 

“I bet you
make the best kind of distraction,” he said, his voice taking on a husky
timbre.  I bit my lip as I looked up at him. I couldn’t be sure I heard him
correctly, or what exactly he was saying to me.  Before I could put the
thoughts together and make any sense out of them, his lips had lowered, pausing,
just a breath away from mine.  I saw the question in his eyes.  He was going to
kiss me.  I wondered if I should say no.  I didn’t.  Instead I closed my eyes
and invited him closer.

 I could taste
the amber whiskey as his mouth moved against mine.  I felt myself sink into
him, into his embrace, into his kiss.  His tongue ran across my lips, asking me
for entrance.  I didn’t deny him.  His free hand moved to the back of my neck
and pulled me even closer to him. It was a heady experience and I quickly got
lost in the moment. I knew Owen could kiss, but I realized that my memory had
lost its sharp focus, because this kiss was beyond anything I remembered.

I let out a
soft moan as he hummed a pleased sound against my lips.  I kind of wanted to
move back to the couch.  I liked the idea of feeling the weight of him against
me.  But he pulled back before I could pull him down.  He smiled down at me,
eyes hooded and full of want. 

“I need to go,
before I can convince myself it’s a better idea to stay,” he said. 

“Okay.” He
smiled at the disappointment in my voice.  He leaned in and kissed my nose. 

“It’s better
if I go.  I want to keep you around,” he said. 

I managed a
nod and he leaned in and gave me a soft, sweet kiss.  “Have a safe trip. I’ll
call you tomorrow.” He let me go and moved to leave. I followed him.