Unfinished (18 page)

I should
cancel.

My phone
buzzed on the dresser and I picked it up.
Downstairs in the lobby.  Want me
to come up?
I glanced over at the bed and cringed at the pile of discarded
clothes.

No.  I’ll
be right down.
I took a deep breath and questioned again whether this
dinner was a good idea.  I didn’t feel ready for this.  I wasn’t sure how to
play it.  Yeah, we were friends, but we had history now.  I knew what it was
like to be with him, and those images often found their way into my thoughts
even though I tried to stop it.  I hadn’t seen him in a long time and I was
nervous. 

I took a deep
breath, scolded myself for being weak and insecure and headed for the
elevator.  I was being ridiculous.  If I wanted to continue this friendship it
was time I got over it.  Otherwise, I needed to walk away.  It was time for
tough love…on myself.  Tonight would be a test of sorts and I refused to fail. 
But, damn, it felt like all of my progress over the past few months had been
for nothing. Square one and I were fast friends once again.

He was sitting
in the lobby on one of the plush couches.  I took a moment to admire him.  He
was so handsome.  It made my heart thump erratically. I just wanted to take him
in.  He wore dark jeans and a deep blue button down. It clung to his chest and
reminded me of the hard lines found beneath the fabric. 

He turned and
caught me watching him.  It was as if my gaze had alerted him to my presence. I
watched his face light up as he stood.  I hated that he looked so happy to see
me.  It made my heart beat faster and just added to the confusion.  I was in a
giant tug of war.

We met halfway
and he took me into a warm hug. I would never get over his hugs.  I took in his
smell and let it blanket me.  My nerves started to fade and I began to relax. 
That’s the thing, when he was with me I felt at ease.  Even the war in my head
died down and I just enjoyed the feel of being in his arms.

“It’s so good
to see you.” I felt his breath against my neck and felt the shiver as it slid
across my skin. He stepped back and held me at arms length, hands on my
shoulders as he looked me over. I laughed. “I just want to get a good look at
you. I’ve missed you,” he smiled. 

“Well here I
am.” It came out almost shy. His admiring gaze made me a little uncomfortable. 

“I’m glad. 
I’m so excited to have you here in Chicago. You’re in my neck of the woods
now,” he said, eyebrow lifted mischievously.  I laughed and hooked my arm in
his.

“So where are
you taking me?” I asked. 

“To dinner. I
figure I should feed you.  You get cranky when you don’t eat,” he said
pointedly. 

“This is
true.  I don’t make good company when I’m grumpy,” I agreed.

He gave me an
easy smile as we walked out towards the busy Chicago streets.  “You are always
good company.”

Owen drove and
we talked about my first day in Chicago.  He rattled on about how he wanted me
to come back soon when there was no work to do.  He wanted to show me around
and he needed time to do it.  I let him talk and thought about such a trip. 
Maybe if this trip went well I would think about coming back. 

I was so
engrossed in our conversation that I didn’t even notice that Owen had pulled
into a parking garage.  “Where are we?” I asked as he pulled into a reserved
spot. 

“My place,” he
smiled. “I thought I’d cook.  That way we can talk and catch up.”  He got out
of the car and came around to open my door.  His place.  Not what I had been
expecting.  The nerves threatened again and I wondered if we were ready to
spend an evening alone together at his place.  Then again, maybe to him it was
just that easy. After all, he’d made his decision and he was known to stick with
them.

He helped me
out of the car and kept my hand in his as we moved to the elevator. I felt the
familiar electricity buzzing through me.  His touch went straight through me. I
was putting on a brave face, but I had a feeling I wasn’t really prepared for
what I was being led into.

The elevator
only intensified my feelings of nervousness. The air seemed to get thicker as I
could feel his gaze on me. I had to get a grip on myself.  I glanced at him and
gave him a smile.  He seemed relaxed and happy. “You’re nervous,” he smirked,
calling me out once again.  I sighed and shook my head.

“Yeah.  So,
what?” I sounded like a stubborn eight year old. He laughed as the doors opened
to his floor. The sound of his laughter relaxed my tension a bit as I followed
him to his door. 

The apartment
was large.  The ceilings were tall and the floor plan was open and elegant.  I
took a moment to look around and take in my surroundings. The color scheme was
dark and rich, with dark grays and black.  Everything was very modern, with
clean lines that made me think of a spread in GQ magazine.  At first look, it
could easily appear to be cold and lifeless, but it didn’t feel that way. I
could feel him here.  It was a picture of the success that Owen had longed for
as a boy.  It was all here, around us, in the lush furnishings, expensive
fabric, and spectacular views.  And there was definitely a spectacular view. 
The far wall was a row of windows looking out over the city.  From here, I only
saw the reflection of us.  Me taking in the pieces of Owen around me, him,
watching me from the side. 

I turned to
look at him.  He was studying me, trying to judge my reaction I assume.  “It’s
nice,” I smiled. “Very CEO.”

He laughed. 
“Well, I’m not here a lot. I had a decorator come in and fix it up.  But it’s
alright,” he admitted, looking around as if trying to see it from my
perspective.

I went to take
off my coat, and Owen stepped forward to help me.  He hung up our coats in the
small hall closet and then he took my hand and led me further into the room. 

“I have dinner
started, but I need to see to a couple of things. Want some wine?  You can keep
me company.” He led me towards the kitchen, yet another wide open space with
tall cabinets, granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances.  It was
very masculine. I liked it though. It fit him, I thought.  This was a far cry
from the boy who had big dreams.  He’d made them happen.  I was proud of him. 

“Take a seat.”
He waved his hand at the barstool that sat across from the counter that he’d
made into his workspace. I watched as he opened up a bottle of chilled white
wine and poured me a glass.

“Why are you
still nervous?” he asked as he slid the glass over to me.  Our fingers touched
as I reached for the glass.

"Why do
you always have to point it out?” I asked.  He laughed and, once again, I felt
more of the tension fall away.

I sighed and
rested my elbows in front of me as I found his gaze…to prove I was totally cool
with the situation. “It’s just always weird seeing you again after so much
time.  I know it’s stupid.  Even when I’m completely comfortable, you still
make me a little nervous.  You know this and you take advantage of it,” I
accused him. He gave me a smile and then moved back to put the cork back into
the bottle.  He didn’t say anything as he took a sip of his wine, holding my
gaze, almost as if to test me.  I forced myself to keep my gaze locked on him. 

“You make me
nervous, too, Kit Kat,” he said and with that he turned around and started
messing with dinner.  I couldn’t help but smile at his admission.  It was nice
to know I wasn’t the only one feeling the mess of emotions.  I just wished I
could hide them as well as he did.

I watched Owen
as he moved around the kitchen.  I loved watching him cook.  It was sexy. 
“What are you making?” I asked. 

“It’s a pasta
recipe from one of my favorite restaurants here.  I know the owner and he was
able to get it for me. It’s amazing.  You like shrimp, right?” he asked. I
watched as a look of panic flashed across his face.  It made me laugh.

“I do,” I
assured him.  “So, if the restaurant makes it, why didn’t we just go there? It
could have saved you all of this trouble,” I pointed out.

“I didn’t want
to share you with anyone else,” he said simply.  I was glad he wasn’t looking
at me, because I felt the blush. Damn wine. Damn emotions.  “So, tell me more
about your meetings today,” he said.  It was his way of getting me to talk
about something normal so I would relax.  I appreciated it.  I appreciated it
even more because I knew he legitimately cared about the answer.  Owen always
cared about what I had to say and that was refreshing. It was why I fought
falling for him on a daily basis.

I told him all
about my day and found myself getting excited as I told him about my ideas.  He
jumped in and offered his own ideas and pretty soon I was grabbing my phone and
typing them out in my notes so I wouldn’t forget them.

“We make a
good team,” he offered as I set the phone down. 

“We do.” I
felt relaxed, finally. 

“Hungry?” he
asked.

“I am.  It
smells delicious,”

“We can eat in
the dining room, or here at the bar…your call,” he said, carrying over the
giant bowl of pasta. 

“Let’s eat
here.  We don’t have to be formal,” I smiled.

“Good,” he
agreed.

The dinner was
excellent.  “Oh my God, this is amazing.  You can cook for me anytime. Who knew
you had so many talents?” I was tempted to lick my bowl as to not miss one bit
of the rich decadent sauce.

“I’m glad that
you liked it.  It’s nice to have someone to cook for.  I hate cooking by
myself,” he said. He poured us each another glass of wine and motioned for me
to follow him into the living room.

Now that I was
more relaxed I took a seat on the couch beside him.  He smiled. Just as I
settled in and set my wine glass on the table beside me he reached down and
grabbed my foot.

“What are you
doing,” I laughed surprised.

“Taking these
boots off,” he said catching my eye and sending my mind spinning with
memories.  Note to self:  No boots around Owen. He didn’t let me dwell.  “You
always take your shoes off as soon as you get home,” he offered taking off the
second boot.

“Yeah, at
home.  I usually manage to keep my shoes on when I am in public or a guest in
someone’s house.  I’m not that much of a hillbilly!” I laughed at him as he
placed my boots to the side.

He gave me a
wink.  “Exactly.”

I looked away,
trying not to make more of his words. Home. 

“Wanna watch a
movie?”

“Sure.” I took
my glass back; it gave me something to do with my hands as I watched him settle
in to the soft pillows and turn on the massive flat screen. He pulled up The
Notebook and looked over at me with a cock of his eyebrow. 

I laughed. 
“We are not watching that.” I shook my head, remembering his adamant stance on
all things Ryan Gosling and sappy movies. 

“I would if
you wanted to,” he said seriously.

“That’s
sweet.  But honestly, you don’t have to.”

“I know. Maybe
I want to see what all the fuss is about. You chics love this movie,” he
shrugged and hit play. “Come over here. You are too far away.”  He patted the
cushion beside him. 

I hesitated. 
Closer was not part of my plan.  I knew what would happen if I got closer to
him. I would only want to get closer, and again, closer was not part of the
plan.

“Stop
over-thinking and come here.  I’ll keep my hands to myself.  Probably,” he
smirked, teasing me.

“Fine.” I
moved closer against my better judgment.  If I was going to test myself I might
as well go for extra credit. I sat next to him, holding a pillow in my lap as a
security blanket.  He tugged at me until my back leaned up against him.  I
tried to ignore the instant electricity that was dancing across my skin.  I
took a slow breath, steadying myself.  It was just a movie.

Yeah, it was
just a movie…a movie about powerful love that overcomes every obstacle put in its
path.  I tried not to relate to it. I tried not to be resentful of love like
that…the kind that was worth the hard decisions. I tried not to let my mind
drift to the fact that the man beside me wasn’t willing to make those hard
choices.  He wasn’t building me a house.  He wasn’t writing me a letter every
day.  Well, he kind of was doing that, but that was beside the point.  He
wasn’t fighting for me and that was the thing I had to hold on to.  That was
the key to getting out of this in one piece.

The movie
ended and Owen sighed.  “Well.  I can see why you like it.  That’s some
hardcore romance,” he admitted. I looked up at him in surprise.

“You liked
it?” I asked.

He shrugged.
“It was good.  I might have gotten a little catch in my throat there at the
end.”

“Aww, you do
have a heart,” I teased. 

“Ha ha.  Yeah,
yeah, the robot has feelings,” he knocked his shoulder against mine.

“I won’t
tell,” I smiled up at him, but my smile fell once I saw the intensity in his
eyes. It made me freeze.  I knew that look.  I knew what was behind it. I went
to move away, but he stopped me. He pulled me towards him, and gently moved my
hair behind my shoulders.

It was silent
as he held my gaze.  The wine had me feeling warm. I held my breath as he
touched my face.  My eyes fluttered shut as his fingertips brushed my cheek and
moved the hair from my face. This moment felt dangerous. 

“Owen,” I
warned.  I needed him to stop touching me.  I needed him. I had to leave.

“Stay.  Stay
with me.”

I opened my
eyes to the deep gray of his. 

“I can’t
stay.  You know that.” My voice came out breathy.  His touch always sent me
into a puddle of mush. All the more reason for me to get off of this couch and
go back to my hotel. 

“You can.  Say
yes.”  He moved closer to me pinning me to the corner of the couch with his
proximity alone.  I think I stopped breathing. He held my gaze daring me to
refuse him.  His tongue came out and ran its way along his bottom lip.  I
wanted to kiss him.  I missed the feel of his lips on mine.  I missed the feel
of him pressed against me.  My body betrayed me as heat began to pool low in my
belly and my insides began to long for him.  Why did I have such a problem
refusing him?