Underwater (9 page)

I needed to keep him in the dark for a little while longer.

Pulling back, I held his shoulders and looked into his tearful eyes.
 
“Everything will be alright. Trust me. They’ll stop fighting and he’ll eventually calm down. You shouldn’t be scared of Dad. He would never hurt you. Plus, I’m your big scary sister,” I winked. “You’re safe here with me.”

Kissing the crown of his head, I pulled him back for another hug, rocking him back and forth until he calmed down. Reaching with my right hand for my iPhone that lay forgotten on the bed beside us, I brought it to me. I put one earbud in his left ear and then the second in my right. Searching through the list of songs on my playlist, I picked the one I was looking for and pressed play.

Notes of Home’ by Phillip Philips blasted through our shared headphones and filled our ears with lighthearted melody while still hearing faint shouts in the background. I covered Adam’s right ear with my hand. Then, I closed my eyes and got lost with my little brother in the world I created just for us.

Lifting my head off the wheel, I let out a deep sigh. I needed to stay focused in the present. Sad memories would only pull me under.

I told myself that, but then again there was one thought that wouldn’t leave me alone. A certain blue-eyed man. I didn’t want to think about him. He scared me, and one of the reasons I decided to stay away from the support group center was
him
. Lettie was disappointed. She had hoped I would stick with it for a while, but no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t convince me to go back. I knew that if I ever saw him again, all I would want to do was help him. And crazy as it might sound – to hug him. I thought that he could really use one. He looked so wounded.

I couldn’t help him, though. That was the main reason I stayed away. I barely could help my own family. Besides, I was pretty sure I was delusional and he didn’t really need my help. I didn’t know much about him, and had no clue what all those shady rumors about him said, but I was positive he had enough people on his side to help him through. And by his looks? Enough female company to keep him warm at night.

A shot of anger passed through me, taking me off guard.

What the hell? Why did I care?

This guy was a mental case. I shouldn’t care. I wouldn’t care.

Sighing, I grabbed my bag, got out from the car and closed the door. After locking it, I headed back to the house. Dread washed through me. The past few days hadn’t been easy. I felt suffocated in my own house. Watching them fight, watching my dad struggle. It had started to take its toll on me.

Opening the door quietly, I entered the house, put my bag on the kitchen table and walked towards the living room, where I heard faint sounds of an argument.

For the love of… not again
.

Turning the corner, I stopped dead in my tracks. My little brother was hiding behind a wall in front of the living room. He was listening quietly to my parents fight. I walked slowly until I stood behind him and tapped his shoulder. He jumped with a start and turned around. Not wanting my parents to hear our little exchange, I pulled him by the ear and up the stairs.

Lucky for him, the little shit kept his mouth shut.

After we entered my bedroom, I gave him a little shove toward my bed as I closed the door after us. Facing him, I crossed my arms against my chest and raised my brow at him. He lowered his head, his eyes pointing towards the floor. Something about him felt...off. Wrong. He sat on the edge of my bed and I went to sit next to him. I took his hand in mine and looked at him.

“What’s going on with you? Why did you feel the need to eavesdrop on Mom and Dad?”

With his head still bent down, I noticed a tear trailing down his cheek.

“How long?”

Unsure how to react, I tried to hug him, but he wouldn’t have it. Pushing me away, he stood and began pacing across the room.

I sat still, not uttering a word. I should have told him.

Watching him on the brink of losing it, tears filled my eyes.
Don’t let them fall. You need to stay strong. Don’t let them fall. He needs you
.
Don’t let them fall.

When I looked at him pacing the room like a caged animal, his tears flowing freely, I didn’t think anymore. I walked straight to him. Halting his movements with my hand on his arm, I turned him around until he faced me. When his eyes landed on mine, I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him soundly. He tried to fight me, the little shit, but I didn’t let go. I hugged him even tighter. He was taller than me… my head barely reached his chin. He was stronger too. If he really wanted to get away, there was nothing I could do about it.

“Stop fighting me!” I cried into his chest. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay! I promise.”

His arms wrapped around me and he buried his head in the crook of my neck.

“How can you say that?” His muffled voice was swallowed up by an aching cry. “How can you promise that? He has cancer, Aria.
Cancer!
He’s not going to make it,” he cried out. “I know he won’t.”

Pulling away and stepping back, I held his shoulders and gave him a little shake. “Look at me.”

Nothing.

Shaking him again, I raised my voice. ”Look at me right now!”

He raised his head. His glossy eyes were filled with so much pain it tore my heart open.

“He
will
make it,” I vowed. “We need to make him feel optimistic. Cheer him up. Believe in him.” Pulling him back to me, I hugged him again. This time, he didn’t fight me. He clung to me so tightly I could barely breathe.

“I’m scared,” his voice quivered. “I don’t want him to die.”

I kissed him softly on his shoulder while rubbing his back with soothing caresses. “He won’t die. Don’t you worry about a thing, okay? He is having treatments right now, and so far, the signs are good. So hush…” I murmured in his ear. “Don’t be scared. Our dad is tough as steel. He is gonna kick this cancer in the nuts and come out the winner. You’ll see.”

Chuckling lightly, he kept hugging me for a while longer and then said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I said with a smile, satisfied that he had calmed down and felt less frightened. “Anything you need, no matter if it’s to talk or ask questions, you can always come to me. Got it?”

“Yeah… I got it.”

Giving me one last squeeze, he released his death grip on my body, turned around and left the room without saying another word.

Sighing, I flopped down on my bed, pulled my iPhone from out of my pocket and dialed Ella’s number.

“Bitch.” Ella’s voice came blabbing from the phone.

“Hey,” I murmured with a small smile. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much… I’m home, taking a little break. I swear those freaking tests are going to
end
me.”

Chuckling, I asked, “How are your tests going? I’ve barely seen you lately.”

“I’m doing great,” she said. “I’m nailing it of course. You know me… beautiful
and
smart, the whole package.”

I burst out laughing while rolling my eyes. “You can
try
to sound modest, you know?”

“Yeah, you know where to shove your modesty crap. I’m good and I know it.”

My face started to hurt from smiling so much in such a short time. The muscles around my mouth hadn’t worked for such a long time, it felt weird to smile.

We always went back and forth with insults. She was the only one I felt comfortable to do that with.

Chuckling from the other side, she cleared her throat and said, “Okay, enough about me. How are you?” Her voice softened. “How’s your dad doing? Don’t think I didn’t hear the slight sadness in your tone.”

My grin vanished. I closed my eyes and sighed. Ella didn’t know everything that was going on in my house, but I really wanted to tell her about Adam.

“He’s doing well, you know… the usual. But something happened today.”

“What?”

“When I got home this evening, I found Adam eavesdropping on our parents’ conversation.” I sucked in a breath. “He knows.”

“Fucking shit!”

“Tell me about it. But we talked,” I said on a high note. “He seemed calmer.”

“Damn girl. I hate that you have to deal with everything by yourself.”

“Hey, I’m not alone.” I protested.

“Yes, you are. In your mind, you’re alone. When you keep everything buried inside, you’re alone. I hate it. I wish I could do something for you. Those stupid tests are taking over my time,” she grumbled. “I just want to be there for you.”

“But you are,” I said softly. “You are here for me whenever I need you to be. But for now, keep your head in the game and ace those tests! You know I’ll need you in the near future as my personal shrink.”

“Ha-ha-ha… as if you would tell me anything. It would be easier to steal a piece of meat from a shark.”

“Very funny.”

“Hey, you know what I’ve been thinking?”

“What?”

“Let’s go out. You had a shitty day. I’m taking a break. Let’s go out and let loose for a bit. Are you in?”

I thought about it for a whole two seconds, then said, “Hell yes!”

“Hurray! I’ll pick you up in an hour. Dress up. We are gonna paint the town red!”

I had to find the perfect outfit. She couldn’t imagine how much I needed this right now. It had been a while since I got out and let off some steam.

Town, here we come!

We decided to go to a popular bar in town. It had a large dance floor and an open stage where you could go up and sing whatever you wanted. I had a feeling Ella planned for me to sing tonight, but there was no chance in hell I was going to do it. With fake ID’s in tow, we waited in the long line outside. The air was cold and bit into my skin. I tightened my grip around my leather jacket and hopped in place to keep myself warm.

The line moved quickly and before long, we showed the bouncer our ID cards. He let us in without blinking an eye. I was shocked. Maybe it was because of the cold, or maybe it was our outfits and make-up, or maybe he just didn’t care. Feeling giddy, we winked at each other as we walked into the bar, big smiles plastered across our faces.

The place was crowded. There was a huge dance floor in the middle, a long bar on the right and tables were scattered all around. The ceiling was high and gave the space a feeling of openness. The lights were dimmed and multiple colored lights emerged from the D.J. stand, enveloping the room with their liveliness.

We went straight to the bar and ordered tequila shots to get us started. We knocked them back and then Ella proceeded with ordering an apple martini for herself while I ordered a mojito. We clinked our glasses, and I took a long sip, savoring the sweet taste of the lime and mint.

We hung at the bar for a while, sipping our drinks and talking about anything and everything. Then when we had our fill, we went to find ourselves a seat.

I felt good. It’d been so long since I’d been out having fun that it felt foreign. We looked good too. Ella wore a short black mini-dress that outlined every curve of her tall frame. Her long, curly red hair flowed down her back. Her face glowed with a natural tan, and her big blue eyes were lined with smoky eyeliner. Her full lips were painted blood red. She was edgy and beautiful. She wore a white leather jacket over it, paired with black ankle strap stilettos.

My white dress was a delicate eyelet lace that was shear around the neckline. The dress tapered down to accentuate my slim waist and flared at the hips above the knee, creating that perfect hour glass shape. I paired it with a red leather jacket and red stiletto heels.

We found an open seat in the corner. We drank and got caught up on each other’s life, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Soon, our drinks were gone and Ella wasted no time. She took my hand and pulled me toward the dance floor.
If I Lose Myself
by One Republic played loudly while we made our way to the middle of the dance floor. We began to dance, jumping up and down, freely going crazy with the crowd. Ella turned towards me and took me in her arms, hugging me tightly while she jumped up and down, making me jump along with her.

“I missed you so much!” she screamed in my ear. I had missed her too.