Underground Secrets (The Underground #1) (30 page)

“As I was introduced more and more to the life, I realized racing wasn’t the only thing that they were into. Drugs, women, and guns. I was okay with it all, but the women. I’m still not entirely sure, but I don’t think most of them were there of their own accord. They were always so skinny, too skinny. Their faces always so blank, but I knew it was the drugs. That’s what made them so compliant.

“Towards the end of our relationship, I had become friends with a girl named Lena. She wasn’t like the other girls and drugs weren’t really her thing. She was Carter’s Uncle’s woman and no one was to touch her. But she didn’t love Olin. She was in love with another man from the warehouse. I was the only one who knew about it.”

I stop to take a moment. What I am about to say next hurts me. It’s the one thing at makes me hate myself so much. It’s what makes me like
them
.

“Olin found out. I don’t know how he did, but he knew and he knew everything. He knew that I knew and was furious. In his world, you don’t fuck him over. We were all ambushed. Carter was out of town and I had received a text from who I thought was Lena, saying she wanted to talk and to come to the warehouse. When I got there, Lena and her lover were kneeling with their hands tied behind their backs. Olin was there standing behind them, seething. He untied Lena and made her choose her life or her lover’s. She chose him and Olin shot the man anyways. It was the most horrific thing I had ever seen, but it wasn’t over.

“He walked over to me and handed me the gun. Olin said I had to shoot her if I wanted to live. I refused. God, did I refuse. He gave me no choice and I had to do it. I choose my life over hers and I have to live with it every day.” I stop and bury my head into my hands and try to hold back the sobs I have been trying to force away since I began the story of my past.

I back up and lean against the wall and slowly slide down, pulling my knees up to my chest. I place my arms over my knees, then look up at Wes. “I killed her. I killed my only friend there just to save my own sorry ass. How selfish am I?”

I look down after that, ashamed. Wes comes down to my level and kneels there for a few seconds silently, but I can feel him starring me down. “Look at me.” he tells me, even toned.

I can’t do that right now, so I don’t move.

“Look at me!” he demands harshly this time, making jump a little.

I whip my head up at him and see anger in his features. “You’re not selfish, Marlie. If anything, it was a mercy killing.”

“How the hell could that have been a mercy killing?” I snip back at him.

Wes shakes his head in disbelief, like he can’t comprehend how I don’t get it, “Because, by the way it sounds, he would have killed her anyway.”

I think about what he said and he’s right, I betrayed Olin’s trust, but she deceived him in a way that no matter what, he probably really would have killed her eventually. And if not, would have tortured her until she begged for death. The thought of that makes me feel like a huge weight on shoulders has been lifted. I still murdered my friend and the guilt and memory of that will never go away.

At my realization, Wes’ eyes soften. “Is that when you decided you wanted out?”

I laugh at his question. “No, there is only one way out of that life and Lena was forced out. The only reason I was left alive was because I was Carter’s. That is the only reason.

“Things changed after that. I changed after that. The carefree girl was no more. I became harder and colder. I embraced the life because that was the only way. I helped with the gun trade and the drugs. Though, I never did any of them. Carter and I had grown, but he was changing too. Call it my hard love for that monster, but I was blind to the things he was doing.

“He started cheating and getting into the drugs. Gemma had seen it, but I didn’t want to hear any of it. I always chalked it up to being stressed, because Olin was teaching him how to run the business. She stayed away from Carter and them, but there were times she couldn’t avoid him. Like when he would stay over at our place. She knew and I never listened to her concerns. I should have listened, but I was in too deep with him. Until one day I found him with…” I trail off because I don’t want to have to repeat all of it again, it’s too much.

I look away. I’m beginning to shut down. All I keep seeing right now is Lena and what I had done. I will never be able to get over that.

“How did you manage to get out?”

My whole body tenses up at the question and I hold eye contact with Wes. “I didn’t.”

I stand up from the floor and walk towards my purse. I grab the keys to my Lexus and jingle them out in front of me. “After I had told the police about Carter and what he did, he went to prison. I knew it wasn’t over. I knew Olin would come for me. And he did. I was in bed sleeping and I was grabbed and taken to the warehouse in the middle of the night. I put up a fight, but the men who took me did also. By the time I arrived at the warehouse, I could barely breathe or see.

“Olin was furious that his only living relative; his precious fucking nephew, was sent to prison. Of course, he blamed it all on me. I came there thinking my life was going to end and the scary part is, I was so messed up in the head, I welcomed it. I just wanted the pain, the nightmares and the regrets to go away. He didn’t kill me. Instead, he offered me a deal. Well, it wasn’t really a deal, he tends to use that word loosely. He said he was only sparing my life momentarily. That he was leaving my death to Carter once he got out should he choose it, but I was to work for him until then. I figured he wanted me to be his next little whore, but that wasn’t it. I was surprised when he told me he wanted me to race in Carter’s place and if I were to survive, then he would keep everything I earned in return of losing his prize racer. I agreed, but was secretly relieved. I was good, I
am
good and he had no idea how good I was. In fact, he had no idea Carter had taught me.

“The first race was last summer and I knew how brutal it was. It’s like a damn Demo Derby, but in the form of a race. No one cares if you die. No one comes to help if you wreck. You’re considered weak if you do.”

I chuckle to myself. “They really had no idea how good I was until that race. I didn’t win, but I came damn close. I ended up getting third and Olin was pissed. He took me out back and beat the living shit out of me, took my car keys and said he’d see me next year and then-”

“When are you supposed to race next?” Wes grits out, interrupting me. I can see that he’s getting what I am saying and he isn’t happy about it. Well, buddy, neither am I. This makes the answer to that question even harder for me.

“Soon.” I shrug my shoulders. “I’ll get that exact date and time sent to me. Or hand delivered.”

He stands up and faces me. “No,” he says with finality.

“Excuse you?” Not entirely sure I heard him right.

“No, you can’t race. It’s too dangerous.”

I scoff at him. “Uh… okay… not. I think it’s cute that you think this is an option for me. I told you, I
have
to do it.”

“But he’s out now. So that means it’s over then.”

This guy is unbelievable. “That’s what I would like to think, but I know it’s not. It’s about to get worse and I have no choice in the matter.”

Wes rubs his hands on the back of his neck. He’s frustrated. It’s a telltale sign I have picked up on. “Yes, you do, Marlie. I can protect you and Gemma. You don’t have to do it.”

I laugh and I laugh madly. I can tell him all about them and he still won’t get it.

“Whatever, I am not going to talk about this right now.” I walk away, heading towards the door. I stop and turn my head to the side “Or ever,” I say and open the door.

Jesse is leaning against the door frame. I glare at him.

“Trouble in paradise?” he asks.

I don’t respond. I just walk right passed him to find Gemma. Though, I don’t know where she is.

I stop and turn back around towards Jesse. I arch my brow at him.

He smirks and points to the room two doors down from Wes’ in the other direction I was going. “I took good care of her last night.”

“I’m sure you did,” I say annoyed, as I brush passed him.

Wes doesn’t follow me, which is good, since I need a breather. Right now, it’s all too much and I just want to go home. I don’t think home is a good option but it’s the only one I have unless I want to stay here and I don’t want to do that right now. I’m going to take the gun and go home.

I knock on the door before I walk in. There’s Gemma, sleeping. I roll my eyes and walk over towards her. “Get up,” I say I pulling covers off of her.

“Hey!” She sits up quickly and rubs her eyes.

“Come on, time to go.”

“Why?”

“Because we need to go to our home. Ya’ know, the place we live?”

“But what about last night? Wes and Jesse can keep us safe if we stay here,” she inquires, but she still gets up and starts to get dressed.

Even if she does make a good point, I’m not going to admit it. “I just want to go home okay? I need...” I pause trying to take a moment. At this point I am pretty frantic. I just want to leave. “I need time to think, Gemma.” I sit down on the bed and lay back wanting to scream, but instead, I take a deep, struggled breath. “I told him Gemma, I told Wes everything.”

Gemma stops what she’s doing at looks at me. “Are you okay?”

“No. That’s why I need to leave. I need time. I had to relive all that again in a matter of minutes.”

She comes and lays down beside me and I lean over a few inches and rest my head against her shoulder.

“I know how hard that probably was and it’s for good reason you told him, but I’m staying, Mar and I want you to as well.”

I lift my head and look at her, “What? What about our business we still have to run?”

“I’ll still be there Monday, chick. I just don’t think we should go home right now.”

The more I think about it, the more I agree that she should stay here, but not me. Right now, someone is after her. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to her if she were to come with me, but I need to go.

“I have to go, Gemma. At least just for a little bit. I might not even go home. I just need to go. Okay?”

She looks at me sympathetically and nods.

I sit up when I remember something. “So… you and Jesse, huh?”

She sits up too and turns to me with her face lit up. “Yeah, who would have thought?”

I laugh. “Oh, I thought it.”

She rolls her eyes and laughs with me. “Oh, whatever. He’s actually not too bad of a guy. You just have to get passed the smug and smartass part of him.”

“I’ll take your word on it.”

After talking a bit more, Gemma walks out with me to go find something to eat, but leaves me at Wes’ door. I walk back into his room and he’s not there. I grab my clothes and quickly change. Once done, I go over to the night side table and stare down at the gun.

“If you insist on leaving, please take it.” Wes’ voice comes from behind.

I pick up the gun and shove it into my purse. I turn around and face him. “Thanks.”

He walks up to me and brushes some hair away from my face. “You’re really leaving?”

I sigh and take hold of his hand. “Yes. I need time, Wes. This is all a lot to take in. I told you things that I never wanted to repeat. I just need to clear my head.”

He steps aside, “I understand, but you’ll call if anything happens?”

I nod and move past him, still holding his hand. I don’t get too far before he grasps my hold of my hand tighter and pulls me back, bringing me crashing into his chest. He stares at me for moment, just looking into my eyes. “We’re okay, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” I breathe out bringing his lips onto mine. The taste of his kiss is so bittersweet. Especially because he breaks it, leaving me wanting more.

I walk out his room and down the steps and at the bottom of the stairs I see Jenner standing by the door, holding a set of keys. My keys. The keys I distinctly remember having in my purse not even twenty minutes ago.

“Hey, Jenner,” I say trying to appear cheerful.

“Ms. Edwards.” He greets me back.

“Please, Just Marlie.” I smile at him. I hardly know the man, but I can tell he’s a good one.

His smile spreads across his face. “Alright then, Marlie. I have your car ready for you out front.”

From a warm smile to frowning in an instant, I remember my car not being in the best shape after last night.
Wonderful
, I think. Going to have to call and get that fixed right away. Good thing I have an under the table kind of guy for that. Let me just add that to the pile of shit I have to deal with as well. I can’t be driving around without a window and a bullet hole in my dash. I take the keys from Jenner, who, by the way, is still smiling. I open the door and I am shocked straightaway at the site of my car. It looks brand new, like nothing ever happened. I turn around and look at Jenner.

“Had if fixed last night. Even gave it a nice tune up.”

“Wow, thanks Jenner.”

“No need to thank me, Wes had it set up. He had his personal mechanic come over.”

Son of bitch
. He must have called after I had fallen asleep.

I shut the door to Wes’ home and walk down the steps. I get into my car and take off. All I need is some time to think about what to do. I need to make sure Gemma stays safe and alive. I need to make sure I stay alive and safe. I need to have a game plan.

TWENTY-THREE

A
FTER HOURS OF DRIVING AND THINKING
things through, I end up back at my garage to put the car away. I haven’t really come to any conclusions as far as what to do. I have mostly spent the last couple of hours replaying the last eight years of my life. The things I have done, the things I haven’t done. Comparing Wes to Carter. Comparing myself to Wes and Carter.

The one thing I have decided on, is that going back to Wes’ is probably the best option as far as safety. Besides, I don’t want to leave Gemma all alone there with them. It’s not them that I’m worried about, it’s that I feel like I would be abandoning her there if I don’t go back. I am only going to be staying the rest of the weekend though. I am not going to run and hide. That has gotten me nowhere before. Monday morning I am going to go to work and make the calls necessary to get my place the best security there is. All new locks, alarm system, and whatever else they can do to ensure me that no one can get in from the outside.