Under the Lights (A Brothers of Rock - GONE BY AUTUMN - Novel) (18 page)

It was hot and sloppy, the angle was
hard but it was desperate and sexy.

Tanner didn
’
t stop thrusting. And as he started to breathe
heavier, his tongue losing control, Jules gripped the sheets on the hotel bed,
bracing herself for Tanner
’
s
climax.

Just like the first time, when
Tanner started to come, so did Jules. Their bodies were connected, throbbing
against each other. Their mouths were open, their breaths intertwined, Jules'
sex clinging to Tanner
’
s as
he continued to pulse within her body.

After they finished, Tanner pulled
his lower half back. But his mouth wasn
’
t
done yet. He continued to kiss Jules, again and again, turning their kissing
into a full blown sexy make out session. Their hands climbed all over each
other's bodies, Jules forcing herself to turn and face Tanner, pressing her
naked body to his.

Tanner reached back and turned off
the light.

In the darkness, other than a soft
light from the bathroom, Tanner broke their kiss. He stroked Jules face.

“
Damn,
”
he whispered.

“
Damn,
”
Jules said back.

“
I
never wanted to be in bed so badly before. Just like this. The night. The dark.
The quiet.
”

“
Isn
’
t this your time to come alive?
”
Jules asked.
“
Be big and famous?
”

“
No.
That
’
s not me. Well, not
anymore. Since I met you.
”

“
You
have to stop saying that,
”
Jules said. She traced Tanner
’
s
bottom lip.
“
I
’
m nobody.
”

“
You
’
re Jules. You
’
re getting to me, darling. Like
nobody has before.
”

“
What
do I say to that?
”

“
Anything
you want. I want to know you, Jules. Your dreams. Where you came from. What you
want.
”

Jules took a deep breath. She
couldn
’
t believe how honest
Tanner
’
s eyes were. He
really cared about her. She really mattered to him.

“
I
didn't have much family. But we lived in a small town where no one left. Ever.
Until I did. I was the first one to go after a dream, and I still get frowned
upon because of it. Still, sometimes when it gets to be too much, I wish I
could go back home and hide from the world. Like everyone else does
there."

“
That
takes guts and ambition,
”
Tanner said.

“
Stupidity
is what everyone called it.
”

“
Well,
if you
’
re stupid, then so
am I. And I personally don
’
t
give a shit what anyone thinks of me. You should do the same.
”

“
You
’
re rich and famous. There
’
s a difference.
”

“
There
’
s no difference. Be yourself and
let things happen as they will.
”

“
Is
that what you tell all the women in your bed?
”

“
To
be fair, I
’
m in your bed,
”
Tanner said. He kissed Jules
’
chin.
“
And I don
’
t
talk to other women in my bed. They know the rules. I get what I want and they
leave.
”

“
But
magically I
’
m the one who
gets to break the rule?
”

“
Not
magic, darling. It
’
s
greater than that. When we get back into town, I want to take you out. And then
take you back to my place.
”

“
Just
us this time?
”
Jules asked
with a grin.

“
Just
us,
”
Tanner said. He kissed
her again.
“
I
’
m not lying, Jules. You and me
…
right now
…”

“
Can
we just sleep?
”
Jules
asked.

She shut her eyes. She was afraid
to hear anything too romantic right now. Tanner had already gotten to her
heart. He had his hand around it. One more word, one more kiss, and it would belong
to him forever.

Tanner leaned down and kissed her
one last time.

He simply held her and allowed her
to drift off to sleep, somehow knowing that she needed time to process
everything he had said.

She pretended to sleep until she
heard Tanner's soft snores, and then she was wide awake.

Will he feel this way in the
morning, or is it the dark that makes his words easier to fool her?

*

Tanner opened his eyes and put his
arms out. He stretched across the bed. When he heard the soft sound of knocking
at the door, he looked over and realized that he was alone. He shot up and
grabbed a sheet to cover his lower half. He opened the door slightly and saw a
tray of breakfast on the floor.

He ignored the meal and closed the
door, eyes set on the bathroom. He knocked once and then pushed open the door,
needing to find Jules.

But the bathroom was empty.

“
No,
”
he whispered.
“
No
…”

Tanner knew there was nowhere else
to look. He was in a damn hotel room. Even still, Tanner dropped the sheet off
his body and tore apart the bed looking for a note or something.

When he found nothing, he sat down on
the edge of the bed and ran his hands through his hair.

What was this woman trying to
prove?
Why did she sneak out a second time?

Grabbing his clothes from last
night, Tanner dressed and left the hotel room. He took the glass of orange
juice and half a bagel from the breakfast tray with him. In the lobby, he tried
to keep a low profile while he called Sam for a ride.

“
We
’
ve been looking for you,
”
Sam said.
“
Christ, man, where are you?
”

“
At
a hotel. Don
’
t ask.
”

“
A
hotel? That kind of night?
”

“
Hey,
are we heading back today?
”

“
Yes.
The band has some studio time. Then we're back on the road.
”

“
When?
”

“
Tomorrow.
”

“
So
we have today and tonight
…”

“
Not
off, except for tonight
…”

Tonight
.

That was good enough for Tanner.

Like a bad ass rockstar, Tanner
stood out front of the hotel and waited for his ride. The tour bus pulled up,
stopped in front of him, and the doors opened. As he scaled the steps, Ryan,
Asher, Gabe, and Blake applauded him.

“
Thank
you,
”
Tanner said.
“
Can we go home now?
”

“
You
tell us,
”
Ryan said.

“
Wait,
”
Asher said as he put a hand
out.
“
Is this a
walk of
shame
?
”

“
No,
”
Tanner laughed.
“
There is no shame in what I did
last night.
”

Everyone applauded again.

No shame at all.

(17)

Tanner couldn
’
t get his mind to stop thinking
about Jules. About waking up twice now without her. When Tanner sat and tried
to write a song -
just two damn chords, man
- there was nothing. The
guitar wasn
’
t Jules. The
sound of the strings her beautiful moans and cries of pleasure.

Tanner called Sam.

“
Everything
okay?
”
Sam asked.
“
Your voice is a little off. Does
it have anything to do with those questions you were asking me at the
show?"

“
No,
no,
”
Tanner said. In fact,
Tanner had actually forgotten about Richie.
“
I
need to know where Jules lives.
”

“
Excuse
me?
”

“
You
heard what I said. Don
’
t
make this into something its not.
”

“
Oh,
I will,
”
Sam said.
“
I told you guys about the backup
singers
…”

“
And
we never listen,
”
Tanner
said.
“
You know that by
now."

“
I
thought one of the perks of your lifestyle was that you could have a different
woman every night."

“
It's
not a perk for everyone. Ask Ryan.
”

“
So
you like her,
”
Sam said.
“
Christ, Tanner. Of all women
…”

“
I
don
’
t know what it is,
”
Tanner said.
“
I just need to talk to her.
Without anyone around. Come on, Sam, just give me a break.
”

“
You
break her heart and it
’
s
going to screw this up. She has the best voice out of all of them, and it would
suck to have to get rid of her,
”
Sam said.
“
Bad enough I
have to give the speech to Asher, I have to give it to you now.
”

“
You
just worry about selling our music. Keep out of our personal lives and our pants.
”

Sam laughed.
“
Trust me, I have no interest in
what you do with your pants.
”
He sighed.
“
So I
’
m guessing that your little
hotel romp was with Jules?
”

“
Yeah.
”

“
And
you need to talk to her that badly right now?
”

“
When
I woke up she was gone,
”
Tanner blurted out.

Sam couldn't contain his laughter.
“
Oh, I get it. She bailed and you
want to know why. Wow, have the tables turned on the rockstar.
”

“
Sam,
don
’
t piss me off,
”
Tanner said.
“
Just
…
don
’
t.
”

“
Okay.
But I can
’
t deal with
broken hearts. From anyone.
”

“
My
heart doesn
’
t get broken,
”
Tanner said.
“
I just have some stuff..."

“
Stuff,
”
Sam said.
“
Well, I have some stuff, too.
The studio session went great. Everything sounds perfect. You guys are doing
some damn good work. I want to release another song soon. Might as well keep
this up if we can, right?
”

“
You
’
re not going to get an argument
from me.
”

“
Good.
Then the release will come and you guys
…
I can
’
t even explain the
money.
”

“
You
know, it
’
s not all about
the money,
”
Tanner said.
“
We are just so excited that our
dream is in our damn hands.
”

“
Keep
it there,
”
Sam said.
“
Before I give up some
information, can I go back to your questions?
”

“
About?
”

“
Contracts.
Record companies.
”

Tanner winced. He regretted
bringing that up to Sam the way he did.

“
Sam,
I
’
m sorry I said anything
to you. It was just a moment of
…
I don
’
t know. Everything
Ryan and his old man. Maybe I felt a little slighted.
”

“
Jealous?
”

“
No.
Slighted. A guitar magazine interview without the guitarists from Gone by
Autumn. Does that make sense?
”

Sam sighed.
“
I told you guys a long time ago, I can
’
t control what the media does.
They will tell whatever story they want. I
’
m
sorry all that happened and I
’
m
sorry if you felt slighted by it. But that
’
s
all done. It
’
s gone. Time
to move forward.
”

“
I
agree,
”
Tanner said. "I
guess it's just been crazy with everything going on."

“
Yeah.
And now you
’
re tripping on
your own two feet over one of the backup singers.
”

“
Thanks
for that.
”

Sam laughed and gave up Jules'
address.

Tanner thanked Sam and then left
his apartment. It wasn't easy trying to stay unnoticed, but luckily Jules'
apartment building was sort of hidden and nobody was  outside. It was just an
old brick building with a door and stairs.

At her door, he knocked and waited.
He actually felt nervous.

How the hell can you be nervous,
man? It
’
s
just a woman. A woman you slept with a couple times. A woman who abided by your
rule perfectly.

But it was more than that. Tanner
cared about Jules. He was dying to know more about her. He wanted to have her
without the music business all around them.

The door opened, but it wasn
’
t Jules standing there.

“
Holy
shit.
”

“
Uh,
hey,
”
Tanner said.
“
I
’
m
looking for
…”

“
You
’
re Tanner from Gone by Autumn,
”
the woman said.
“
What the hell are you doing
here?
”

Tanner looked past the woman and
spotted Jules. She was holding a bottle of water and dropped it when she saw
Tanner.

“
I
’
m here for Jules,
”
Tanner said.

The woman stepped back.
“
I can
’
t believe I
’
m
saying this
…
but, hey
Tanner from Gone by Autumn, come on in.
”

Tanner stepped into the apartment
and watched as Jules reached for her bottle of her water. She put it on the
table, her eyes wide, surprised.

“
Sorry,
”
Tanner said.
“
I didn
’
t have your number to call you
…”

“
Do
you have a cell?
”
the other
woman asked.

Tanner nodded.
“
Yeah.
”

“
Can
I have it?
”

Tanner gave the woman his cell and
she smiled.
“
Here, I
’
ll put it in your phone for you.
”

“
Tara,
”
Jules finally spoke.
“
Can you give us a minute?
”

“
Tara,
”
Tanner said.
“
Nice to meet you.
”

“
Holy
shit,
”
Tara whispered.
“
I won
’
t say anything else. I won
’
t be that person. But just
…
holy shit.
”

“
Okay
then,
”
Tanner said.
“
Holy shit it is.
”

“
I
’
m going to get a coffee or
something,
”
Tara said.
“
I
’
ll
be back later?
”

“
I
’
ll be fine,
”
Jules said.

“
Oh,
I
’
m sure of it,
”
Tara said.

Tanner laughed. Jules' face turned
bright red.

When Tara left, Tanner moved toward
Jules. He had never chased a woman down before. His urges could always be taken
care of by someone else. But for whatever reason, Jules was the only one that
could help him now.

“
Tanner
…”

“
Wait,
”
he said. He lifted his phone
and pressed a button.  A few seconds later a phone started to ring somewhere in
the apartment.
“
There, now
you have my number. So we can call each other. Like normal people would do.
”

“
Normal
people?
”
Jules asked.
“
Is that what we are?
”

“
You
can
’
t leave me like that,
”
Tanner said. He tucked his cell
phone into his back pocket.
“
That
’
s two times I woke up without
you next to me.
”

“
I
thought that
’
s what you
wanted.
”

“
With
other women, yes. But I told you already, you mean more. I care about you,
Jules. I want you
…”

“
You
want me? I guess coming from a rockstar, that
’
s
romantic.
”

Jules tried to move around him, but
Tanner was right there. He took her by the arms and pulled her toward him.

“
Hey,
I promised you. I
’
m not
messing around. So tell me why you left.
”

“
I
didn
’
t want it to be weird,
”
Jules said.
“
In case you changed your mind. I
didn
’
t want to be in your
way.
”

“
I
want you in my way,
”
Tanner
said.
“
So I can keep figuring
you out.
”

“
And
when you finally have a change of heart?
”

Tanner paused. He hated that Jules
could see through him. Nobody was able to do that. Nobody stood up to him.
Challenged him. And damnit, Jules did it by actually listening to him. That
’
s what made it more confusing.

“
Why
are you thinking that far out?
”
Tanner asked.
“
You can
’
t live in the moment?
”

“
I
did that,
”
Jules said. She
moved to her toes and kissed Tanner on the cheek.
“
I did it that night on your floor. I did it last
night in the hotel room. That was in the moment.
”

“
We
are in another moment right now, darling,
”
Tanner said.
“
I
’
m staring at you, you
’
re staring at me.
”
He stepped toward Jules and
when she bumped into the table, he lifted her and sat her on it.
“
I
’
m
not going to let any of these moments waste away. It
’
s you and me, Jules.
”

“
And
Gone by Autumn. And Sam. And a tour. And a thousand women. And a life
…”

Tanner gritted his teeth and shook
his head. He came at Jules with his mouth, wanting to steal her words and taste
her sweet lips. He put his hands to her face, her hair, desperate to hold her
and never stop savoring the way she kissed him back. She always started out a
little nervous, her tongue flickering at his once and then a shaky breath. But after
that, it was all passion, leaving Tanner
’
s
body wanting to feel her tongue along his body again.

“
Where
’
s your bedroom?
”
Tanner asked.

“
There
’
s only one.
”

"That's right. Your roommate
sleeps on the couch."

"Sometimes we sleep together,
”
Jules said.
“
In nothing but panties. And when
we get cold, we cuddle each other.
”

“
You
tease,
”
Tanner growled.

Tanner picked her up and Jules
wrapped her legs around him. He took his chances down the small hallway and
found the bedroom on his first try. One straight line through the bedroom took
him to Jules' bed. He placed her down, climbed up on her, and then rolled to
his side, taking her with him.