her.
She thought of his kiss.
With an angry shrug, she pushed the memory away and
stared into the field where lambs were playing tag around
their mothers’ stolid bodies. One jumped up on top of its
mother’s back, and stood there for all the world as if it were
laughing at its playmates. Half a dozen raced off to a grassy
knoll and began to skip up to the top and then down again.
Another little gang began running races from one side of the
field to the other, and soon all had joined in, breaking off
after a few minutes to rush back to their mothers for a drink.
Judy watched them and laughed suddenly. I can’t hear
them but I can still see them, she thought. There’s still
plenty of joy to be had, and it doesn’t help Sean or anyone
else to pretend it isn’t there. And, with sudden energy, I don’t have to be sorry for myself - I can still do things to help. I’m fit and strong, and I shouldn’t be drifting about as
if I’m on holiday. The WVS works even out here in the
country, and I ought to be doing something too. I’ll find out
who’s in charge.
She waved goodbye to the lambs and began to walk
rapidly down the lane back to the village. Mrs Sutton would
know, she thought, and went back to the farmhouse. The
farmer’s wife was busy making bread, and looked up with a
smile.
‘Had a nice walk?’ She had learned quickly to shape the
words so that Judy could read them, and Judy nodded and
sat down at the table, watching her hostess’s hands knead
the floury dough.
‘I want to do something to help.’
Mrs Sutton shook her head. ‘No, love, you go out and
enjoy the sunshine. You’ve done all the jobs that need doing
here. You go and get some roses in your cheeks.’
‘No, I mean I want to do something more. In Portsmouth, I was in the WVS. I helped in the raids. I want to do
something like that here.’
‘But we don’t have the raids here, love. Only the odd
bomb dropped by mistake, and that usually goes into a field.
Old Walter Hart had a couple of cows killed a while back,
but that’s all.’
‘But there must be something,’ Judy persisted. ‘I thought
of offering to help on the farm, but I really ought to see the
local WVS organiser. Do you know who she is?’
The floury hands paused. ‘Well now, who would that be?
It was a Mrs Tupper who brought the evacuee children out
at the beginning of the war. She was WVS, or I suppose she
was, so she’d know. But I don’t know where she lives, so
that’s not much use to you.’ She gazed at Judy, her forehead
creased, and then her expression cleared. ‘I know who could
help you! The vicar - he’d be bound to know. Come to
think of it, I do believe Mrs Hazelwood herself’s in the
WVS. There now!’ She beamed. ‘That’s the answer. She’s
bound to be high up. Why didn’t I think of it before? I’ll
just set this bread to rise and we’ll go round to the vicarage
straight away.’ She repeated her last words slowly and then
began to pound the dough again with vigour.
‘No, I’ll go by myself Judy stood up. ‘I’ve got to start
being more independent - I won’t be any use if I can’t do
things for myself. And you’re busy, anyway.’ She touched
Mrs Sutton’s arm. ‘Thank you. I’ll be back at dinnertime.’
The vicarage was a large Victorian house close to the
church. Its garden had been given over entirely to the
cultivation of vegetables, of which there were neat rows
already beginning to flourish. A large man, dressed in rough
working clothes, was working with a hoe, and as Judy
approached he straightened up and turned round. He was
well over six feet tall with a large, black, bushy beard and
moustache and to her surprise, she saw that he was wearing
a dog-collar.
Judy looked at him and her heart sank. I can’t even see his lips, she thought, let alone read them. But his eyes looked
kind and she plunged into her explanation.
‘I’m sorry to bother you. I’m Judy Taylor, I’m staying at
the Suttons’ farm for a while. I’m in the WVS and
wondered if there’s anything I can do to help while I’m
here. Mrs Sutton says your wife is the local organiser.’
Belatedly, she added, ‘I’m afraid I can’t hear what you say I’m deaf. Bomb blast.’
The beard moved and she guessed he was speaking. ‘I
can’t read your lips either,’ she added apologetically, and
was surprised to see that he was laughing. He reached out a
big hand and ushered her inside the house. Judy, slightly
disconcerted, found herself in a wide hallway, its floor
patterned with black and white tiles. An old coat-stand
stood near the door and there was a long settle that looked
suspiciously like a church pew against the wall. The vicar
led her through the door to her right, and she found herself
in a big room with a bay window overlooking the garden,
shabbily but comfortably furnished with a battered three
piece suite, a large cluttered desk and sundry other
mismatched chairs and small tables. The walls were lined
with bookshelves.
Mr Hazelwood spoke again and then pushed her gently
into a chair. He pulled a sheet of paper across the desk and
began to write on it.
You do the talking. I’ll do the writing!
Judy laughed and nodded, feeling suddenly at ease with
this big man who looked more like a farmhand than a vicar.
She said, ‘Well, it’s just as I said. I work for the WVS in
Portsmouth, helping the Lady Mayoress. I was out on an
ambulance during the raid a fortnight ago, and we got
caught in the bombs. We were all deafened, but the others
got their hearing back. The doctor thought I needed a rest.
He says it should come back, but no one knows for certain.
Anyway, I just thought I ought to be doing something while
I’m here, and Mrs Sutton said that your wife runs the WVS
in this area.’
She does, he wrote, but is that quite what the doctor meant
by ‘having a rest’?
‘But I’m perfectly well,’ Judy protested. ‘I feel as if I’m
shirking. There must be something I could do.’
I’m sure there is. He paused and looked at her thoughtfully,
then seemed to make up his mind. She’s out at the
moment, but she’ll be back soon. Why don’t you go and sit in the garden until she comes back? I’ll make you a cup of coffee.
Judy didn’t much like the liquid Camp coffee mixture
that most people used. ‘Water would be fine,’ she said, and
he nodded and led her through to a big kitchen where he
poured her a cup of water. Carrying this, he opened the
back door and she found herself in a tiny garden that had
not been taken over for vegetables. There was a patch of
lawn with a pond filled with squiggling tadpoles which were
being attentively watched by a large black cat with huge
yellow eyes. The garden was bounded by a warm brick wall
with a flower border that seemed to sweep up to it like a tide
of colour, and in the middle was an gnarled apple tree
covered with deep pink blossom. It was a tiny patch of
tranquillity; a haven from the world outside.
The vicar indicated an old wooden seat under_ the tree
and Judy sat down and accepted the water. He smiled at her
and vanished round the corner of the house, and she leaned
back her head, closed her eyes and felt the warmth of the
sun on her face. After a moment or two, a furry paw
touched her knee and the cat jumped on to her lap. She laid
her hand on its sun-warmed back and smiled.
When she opened her eyes, a young man was sitting on
the grass watching her. Judy started and spilled some water
over the cat, which leaped off her lap and sat down a few
yards away, shaking its head indignantly.
The man spoke. He looked about the same age as Judy,
with dark hair brushed back from his forehead and very blue
eyes under heavy black brows. He was frowning slightly and Judy realised that he must have been speaking for some
moments.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I can’t hear you. I’m deaf.’
‘Oh,’ he said, and looked nonplussed. Judy held out the
sheet of paper the vicar had given her, and he looked at it
and smiled. He took the pencil and wrote, I’m Ben
Hazelwood. You must be waiting for my mother.
Judy nodded. ‘My name’s Judy Taylor. I’m from
Portsmouth.’
He held out his hand and she shook it. His grasp was firm
and cool. They looked at each other for a moment, neither
quite knowing what to do next. His smile was rather wicked
and very “attractive, Judy thought. It seemed to light up his
rather dark face, which she suspected might be forbidding
when he frowned and lowered those heavy brows over the
bright blue eyes. But his mouth was wide and curled up at
the corners, so that he looked as if he were about to break
into a chuckle.
‘Are you in the Services?’ she asked and he twisted his
mouth wryly and shook his head.
I’m not old enough. I’m thinking about lying about my age
and volunteering!
‘Not old enough?’ Judy said in surprise, reading this. ‘I
thought…’ She stopped and blushed, and he grinned and
held up both hands, fingers stretched, then one hand and
only two fingers of the other. ‘Seventeen? You look older.’
Eighteen in September. But I want to go before then. I want to fly.
‘Fly?’ She glanced up at the cloudless sky, remembering
the dogfights of last summer and the Battle of Britain that
had raged across the South of England. Pilots, many of
them barely more than boys, had been dying every day, yet
there seemed to be a never-ending supply of young men
willing to take their place. She looked at the youthful face,
noting now the signs of immaturity - the softness of his
cheeks and lips, the eager innocence of his eyes - and thought of him fighting in the skies, perhaps being hit, his
plane in flames, spiralling out of control…
The sudden vision shook her and she closed her eyes,
trying to push it away. When she opened them he was
watching her with some concern. She spoke quickly, at
random, ‘What do your parents think about it?’
He grimaced. Haven’t told them yet. Know I want to join
the RAF - don’t know I’m thinking of volunteering. He looked
suddenly anxious and started scribbling again. You won’t tell
them, will you?
Judy smiled and shook her head. ‘No. I won’t tell them.’
Ben looked up suddenly as if he had heard something,
and quickly screwed up the piece of paper and stuffed it into
his pocket. A moment or two later a tall, rather thin woman
came round the corner of the house. She was evidently
expecting to see Judy there and smiled and held out her
hand, saying something. Ben spoke to her and she nodded.
‘Miss Taylor. I’m very pleased to meet you, my dear.’
She spoke carefully and Judy guessed that she would have a
clear, rather pleasant voice. ‘I see you’ve met my son.’
Judy nodded. Mrs Hazelwood sat down beside her and
Ben went into the house, returning a few moments later
with a fresh sheet of paper. He smiled at Judy arid went
away again.
Ben’s home from school at the moment, Mrs Hazelwood
wrote. He has a week for Whitsun. Tell me what I can do for
you.
Judy nodded. One of the things you missed when you
were deaf, she thought, was the more casual part of
conversation - the little asides that didn’t really matter, the humorous comments and quips, the remarks that made
chatting a pleasurable experience. When you were deaf, it
was so difficult for people to get across to you the
information they wanted you to have - either by slowly
mouthing the words or by writing them down - that they
kept it to the bare minimum. It was like receiving a series of telegrams.
‘I’m in the WVS in Portsmouth,’ she said. ‘I work for the
Lady Mayoress. I thought perhaps there was something I
could do while I’m at Ashwood.’
Mrs Hazelwood’s eyes rested on her for a moment. They
were a cool grey, set wide apart in a face that was made to
look more narrow by pulling back the silver hair into a
French pleat. She had a wide mouth too, rather like her son’s, with a humorous curve to the lips, and her expression was compassionate.
‘Are you here for a rest?’ she said carefully.
‘Well - yes,’ Judy said. ‘But there’s nothing wrong with
me. Apart from my ears, I mean. I’m not ill or anything.
Just tired and - and things have been a bit difficult lately.’
She felt her eyes fill with tears. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘There’s no need to apologise.’ The curved lips were easy
to read. ‘I know just how difficult things have been in
Portsmouth. Was your home bombed?’
Judy nodded and bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears.
‘In the first Blitz,’ she whispered. ‘We were in the shelter Mum and Dad and Polly - she’s my aunt, she’s lived with
us since her husband was killed. We went to live with my
grandmother, and then Sean - Sean …’ To her horror, the
tears spilled over and a huge sob forced its way up from her
throat. She put her head into her hands, appalled but unable
to control the weeping any more, and the sobs tore