Under My Skin (Shady Falls Series Book 2) (27 page)

              “Okay,” she whispered. “What time should I be ready?”

              “Seven o’clock. I’ll be here by seven to pick you up. Dress warmly, it’s cold out there.”

***

Hours later I sat outside of Mia’s house and just stared at the door. I was a little leery of my plan for the evening, but she needed to know I was one hundred percent invested in her. She needed know I wanted her in my life, every part.

              I wasn’t sure what prevented me from sharing with her before, but she needed to know now.

              Out in the frigid December night, snow had started falling again, covering the grass and rooftops with a fresh layer of the white stuff. I rushed across the parking lot toward the door, just in time for her to swing the door open and step out. I stopped in my tracks, and stared at her long jean-clad legs. She wore black heeled boots up to her knees, and a black wool coat buttoned up to her throat.

              “What’re you doin’?” she questioned. “I thought you were waitin’ out here for me.” Her brow furrowed, she looked at me with confusion.

              “I was just thinkin’, that’s all. I’d never beep the horn for you to just come out.” I looked at her and smiled. She was beautiful all bundled up and ready for the cold. “You ready to go?” I stuck out my hand for her to take it.

              She placed her hand in mine and I pulled her into my arms. Why the hell I was running and hiding from my feelings, I wasn’t sure. Why I was afraid of what she felt, I didn’t know. All I did know was I was done concealing my feelings from her. I was done running.

              Rushing through the cold to the car, I tried to calm my rampant heartbeat. Today I’d open up to her completely and let her see everything about me.

              We drove quietly through town. I wasn’t sure why she was so quiet, but just as I was ready to ask, she started talking.

              “Jake, about last night …” she paused. “Why were you at the bar? What were you don’ there?”

              Honesty, she was looking for me to tell her what had prompted me to talk to her after my silence. “Bobby called me. Told me I needed to get there.”

              “You needed to deal with your shit.” She mumbled the words. I wished I hadn’t said that aloud earlier, but I had. “He made you come and take care of me.” Her words firmer this time, I could tell she was pissed, or at least getting there. “Just take me home. This was a mistake. I don’t need anyone to take care of me out of obligation.”

              “I ain’t here out of obligation, Mia. I’m here because I fucked up. I’m here because I shouldn’t have tried to stay away from you. I’m sorry.” I paused and turned on the street where my new restaurant sat. Pulling up in front of the darkened storefront, I breathed a nervous sigh.

              “What’re we doin’ here?” she asked me as she looked around at the empty street.

              Pulling her toward the door, I took out my keys and opened the front door. I pushed it open and led her into the dark room. It was mine, finally mine. In this room, in this moment, I had everything I’d ever wanted out of life. Mia could either make me or break me. I probably shouldn’t have chosen to do this here, it could ruin my first memories of this place, but somewhere inside I knew I had to. It had to be here, tonight.

              “Jake, what’re we doin’ in this place. What is this?” She sounded nervous.

              “Well, this is what’s been occupyin’ my time lately. This and the gym. This is why Monique was at the gym last night. This is what we were workin’ on.” She had to know I wasn’t with Monique for personal reasons. I didn’t want Monique, I wanted her.

              I flipped the switch on the wall next to me. Light flooded the room from the hundreds of twinkle lights I’d hung around the room. They cast a warm glow in the otherwise dark room. Sitting in the middle of the room was one table, set for dinner for two.

              “This is why Moni came to the gym last night.” I paused, hoping she finally realized Monique was just a friend. “She was the agent in charge of sellin’ this property. The moment she saw it, she knew I’d love it, and I did. She’s been tryin’ to get everything arranged for the sale and it finally all came through yesterday.”

              Mia looked around the room again. She seemed to look everywhere but at me. After a few moments of silence she finally spoke. She kept her eyes on her plate, her fork moving around the food. “Why have you been ignorin’ me?”

              Her words were so quiet, but her question was unmistakable. She wanted to know why I suddenly pulled away. What was I going to tell her? Should I admit to overhearing her confession? Or that I got so freaked out I couldn’t think straight?

              “Mia …” I started but then paused. Letting out a breath I went on. “I wasn’t tryin’ to blow you off. The truth is …” I paused and collected myself. I needed to be honest here. Honest. “The truth is, I didn’t trust you.”

              “Trust me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

              “I overheard you talkin’ to the redhead in your classroom the day I came to help Gage with gym class. I heard what you said to her.”

              She turned her head to look at me. Tears collected in the corners of her eyes. Not one tear fell, however. She stared at me for a long time, understanding filled her sad eyes. Her eyes widened, the hazel color seemed to darken as the whites of her eyes reddened. A single tear slid down her cheek. She didn’t wipe it away or try to hide her sadness.

              “You heard me say I was fallin’ in love with you?” Her voice still at a hoarse whisper. “You stopped talkin’ to me because you heard me?”

              “Yes. Look, I freaked out a little. The last time I let myself have feelings for you, it all crashed around me. I didn’t handle it well this time, I’m sorry.”

              “I want to go home.” Her quiet plea was muffled behind her hands.

              “No. I need you to listen to me. I need you to understand.” I waited to see what she would do. If she was going to push to leave, I’d take her home. But if she waited and listened, I was going to be completely honest with her. I owed it to both of us to be honest.

              “Please, take me home.” She stood and quickly walked toward the door.

              Relenting, let her lead the way out to the car. Her shoulders were slumped, as she walked across the empty sidewalk. I desperately wanted to pull her into my arms and make it all go away, but I couldn’t. We needed to find common ground.

              We drove in silence toward her house. Her silent sobs started to ebb the closer we got to the bar. I didn’t know what to say to make her understand. It was the fight or flight response I’d developed when it came to Mia, I was programed for flight. I’d never actually fought for her or anyone. I was finally ready to fight, but obviously she wasn’t.

              When she broke the silence I was shocked, but her words infuriated me. “You take one moment, and you assume you know everything.” Her soft voice was loud and clear in the quiet car. “You don’t know anything about me or how I feel. And the way you ignored me shows me you don’t care about me at all.”

              Her angered words set fire to my insides. I didn’t know how she could possibly think I didn’t care about her. How didn’t she understand I loved her? I told her, I showed her, and she was the one who threw me away. And after all this time, my brazen beauty had returned. The timid woman was nowhere to be seen.

            
 
Heart hammering in my chest, I was determined to pour everything out of me, once and for all. She would know without a doubt that everything I felt was real.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Mia

The rest of the ride home was silent. Jake’s rigid posture told me I’d probably pissed him off once and for all. I was sure it was better this way.

              He followed me to my door and just as I was ready to leave him for good, he stopped me cold.

              “You think I didn’t know you? You think I don’t know you now?” His deep, growling words sent a shock through me. I wasn’t afraid of him, but I was afraid of what he was going to say.

              “You don’t know anything about me.” My voice sounded uneasy, even to my own ears. “You need to leave,” I said with more firmness.

              “You love kids. You have since you were a kid yourself. You always knew you wanted to be a teacher. You volunteered every day at a school for children with special needs. Every single day you went and spent time with children who didn’t have anyone else. You planned dances and parties for them, you even learned to sew to make dresses for the girls just so they could feel like princesses for one night.”

              I felt my eyes widen. I stared at him in stunned silence.
How did he know?

              “Then after you volunteered your time, you went to your real after school job. You worked every single day you could and saved every penny so you could help your mother. You didn’t want your single mother to kill herself working to take care of your needs, so you worked and secretly gave her money.”

             
How did he know all this about me?
I stared at Jake, shocked. I couldn’t speak. No one, not even my mother, knew I’d hide money in her purse or wallet so she had more than she realized.

              “You haven’t spoken to your father since he refused to help with your gym costs. He decided your gymnastics career wasn’t important, so he stopped paying. When he told you he wouldn’t help you, you let him walk out of your life and you never asked him for anything again.

              “You love brownies and chocolate cake. You love reading fantasy.” He paused for just a breath, but then immediately continued. “Any book dealing with wizards, demigods, aliens, or supernatural forces.” His voice filled my living room, and his words made me weak. My stomach churned and my heart hammered, thundering in my ears. How could he know all of this? Toni didn’t even know all of this.

              “You love romantic comedies, especially ones dealing with teenage love, you can’t get enough of them. You’re in love with the feeling you get every time you see the underdog get the person of their dreams. You’ve collected every book you’ve ever read. And you come to the gym every single day because you want to see me, and truth be told, I want to see you too.

              “Don’t tell me I don’t know you, Mia. I know everything worth knowing. I’ve paid attention to you, listened to what you had to say, and I see you. The real you, not what you want other people to see. What the hell do you know about me?”

              He turned and stormed out the door, into the dark winter night. A moment later his Jeep door slammed closed and his engine roared to life. I stood there and watched as his taillights faded into the night.

              Tears made tracks down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe he’d paid so much attention to me, even after we were no longer friends. What he didn’t know was that I watched him too. I saw him. And I suddenly realized how badly I screwed up everything.

              So he freaked a little when he heard me admit to my feelings. Was it so wrong of him to be afraid to open up to me?

***

The next morning I sat in front of my vanity and took a good look at myself. My eyes were puffy from crying most of the night and my skin was blotchy and almost sickly looking. Not pretty at all, and my mother was coming to make plans for the wedding and reception. She’d know instantly there was something wrong.

              It had been a long night, with little gained from my lack of sleep. I still had no idea how I was going to fix things with Jake. How do you ask forgiveness for being a complete bitch not once but several times over almost a whole decade? Was there a special greeting card for that?

              A knock on the door drew me away from my mirror and my miserable thoughts. I needed to find a way to fix things with Jake. Even if I’d screwed everything up beyond repair, I wouldn’t forgive myself if I couldn’t at least find a way to apologize for being a total git.

              “Mia, you home, honey?” My mother’s voice sounded happier than she’d ever sounded before.

              “Comin’ mom.” I ran to the door and threw it open. Launching myself into her arms, I hugged her tight.

              “Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked, concern laced in her tone.

              The tears fell as I silently sobbed into her shoulder. It was a special trick only mothers possessed. You could be strong, holding yourself together, but the moment you see your mother every emotion boils over until you can’t control the tears, and right now I couldn’t stop the tears.

              “Mia. Tell me what’s wrong.”

              “I …” Stuttering, I told her the whole story. Everything poured out of me, starting back in high school and it all lead up to yesterday’s confrontation. “And I don’t know how to fix it.”

              “Sounds to me like you need to figure out what you want exactly. Because, based on what you’ve just told me, you’re not even sure yourself.”