Under My Skin (Shady Falls Series Book 2) (17 page)

              “How did you do all this?” I asked. “This is amazing.”

              “I had some help,” he said, pointing to where Cade stood happily helping a little girl in a wheelchair maneuver through the entrance of the maze. Then I followed Gage’s hand toward a face painting station where Char and Toni sat painting colorful designs on the students’ faces. On the other side of the gym, Julius was helping children in a makeshift apple bobbing activity. Then Gage turned and pointed to a carnival-type attraction in the back of the gym. There was one of the huge multicolored parachutes being held by Kyle, Margie, and a couple other teachers. The children ran through as the adults made the parachute fly.

              My heart almost stopped when I saw Jake standing there, holding little Molly’s hand. Together, he and Molly ran under the parachute, laughing. When they made it to the other side, her smile was more than I could handle. Molly was a little girl with huge medical problems. She was usually very serious and didn’t often smile. But there she stood, a huge smile on her face as she grabbed his hand once more and pulled him under the parachute.

              How could he be so perfect and so out of my reach? Jake was tall and sturdy, a natural protector. He was kind and generous, and apparently wonderful with children – everything I’d ever wanted and couldn’t have. My heart swelled and picked up pace as several of my students swarmed Jake. They ran back and forth under the parachute, laughing and having the best time.

              For a moment, I almost forgot I was standing next to Gage. I smiled up at him. “This is amazin’, Gage. Look at them, they’re havin’ so much fun. Thank you. How’d you convince everyone to help?”

              “You’re welcome,” he said with a smile. “It didn’t take much. I told Jake and Cade about my plans one evening while we cleaned up and they both instantly volunteered. Then they told Julius and Toni, and it all kind of snowballed. And of course Char just had to come practice before the baby comes. It just came together after that. This is a pretty special group of people.”

              “Yeah, they are,” I whispered.

              I stood and watched Jake playing with several more students. His station was by far the most popular. “Go play with them,” Gage said. He took my elbow and pulled me across the gym toward the parachute. “Hey guys!” Gage shouted. “Look who I found. Miss Slone wants to play too!”

              Two of my students ran over, each taking a hand they pulled me to the edge of parachute. “Come-on, Miss Slone, come play.”

              “I don’t know what to do,” I said, looking to the girls. “Who’s gonna help me?” The idea was for them to explain what to do and lead me. This was a great exercise for them. It got them communicating and moving.

              “Mr. Hanson will help you,” Molly said quietly. She pulled Jake over to me. “He teached me, Miss Slone, he can teach you what to do.”

              “What about you, Molly? You were having fun with Mr. Hanson,” I asked her.

              She just shook her head. “I know what to do now. He’s super nice, Miss Slone. He can help you too.” She looked up at Jake and smiled a sweet smile. “Can you teach Miss Slone like you teached me?” She grabbed my hand in her left and Jake’s in her right. “Here, Mr. Hanson, help Miss Slone,” Molly said bringing our hands together.

              Jake kept his eyes on the little girl, but his fingers obediently wrapped around mine. I gasped when his fingers tightened, holding my hand inside of his. My heart fluttered and my stomach erupted with nervousness at his touch. My chest rose and fell quickly as I breathed deeply trying to control myself. My whole body felt coiled tighter than a spring ready to snap. His grip was firm, holding me next to him, keeping me still.

              His gaze met mine. I expected to see the normal cold, indifferent gaze I usually saw. Instead I was met by a warmth I hadn’t seen from him in years. Several unmoving moments passed as we stood stoic, staring at one another.

              When my eyes met his, it was impossible to look away. I was instantly lost in the deep blue pools – showing me hints of who the real Jake was, but he still gave little away. I wanted to know everything about him. I wondered if I explored the depths of his eyes, could I find the real man behind his gaze. Would I be able to satisfy my desire to know him again if I could look hard enough?

              After several unmoving moments, he broke my trance with a crooked grin and a nod of his head. “How ‘bout it,
Miss Slone
,” he said, putting emphasis on my name, “you gonna run with me?”

              I couldn’t think, couldn’t move. If I tried to run, I might just fall right on my face. But I smiled and nodded my head. “Sure,
Mr. Hanson
, I’ll give it a try. For Molly,” I added.

              The parachute flew into the air and started to slowly come down. Children started running beneath it, squealing and giggling. The next time the parachute went into the air, Jake tightened his grip on my fingers before pulling me into a run across the gym floor. We reached the other side just before the parachute came down on us.

              “You’re too slow, Miss Slone,” Jake taunted. “Wanna try it again?” he asked. When I didn’t answer immediately, he grinned, turned to the students that were around us and said, “Should Miss Slone try it again?”

              The students instantly started cheering and shouting their approval.

              “Okay,” I said, smiling at the children. I leaned over and pulled off my three inch heels, tossing them to the side. “Now I can run,” I shouted, making the kids cheer even more.

              Taking a deep breath, I glanced up meeting Jake’s eyes and I froze. His heated gaze consumed me, setting fire to my body and making my pulse hammer in my ears. He hadn’t looked at me like that in years. Once upon a time, he looked at me like he could see me, into my soul and that was exactly how he looked at me in that moment. I knew it was just a single moment, but it felt like my life had finally come together.

              And then we ran.

Chapter Fifteen

Jake

Feeling her hand in mine was better than I remembered. It was just a touch, just our fingers laced together, but it lit up more feelings in me than any other woman I’d touched in the last seven years. I wanted so badly to throw her over my shoulder and haul her ass outta that gym. Take her home and bury myself in her until everything that ever separated us was gone. Until the rest of the world fell away and it was just us.

              But the screaming and cheering kids who surrounding us snapped me out of my musings. They were jumping up and down, running around and asking us to play more. We spent the next hour and a half playing and running around with her students. I knew these kids all had special needs, but in the gym, playing and surrounded by their peers, they were just kids, having fun. They tried so hard and wanted so desperately to be a part of the games. Each and every one of them had excitement and happiness in their eyes. There was no judgement here. No one telling them they couldn’t, only that they could. Seeing these children so elated to just play made me instantly understand Mia’s passion for her job. How could you not love these children who gave their love so willingly?

              She adored her students and that part of her life. And I realized I desperately wanted to be a part of it, all of it, every aspect of her life. I’d missed her kindness and generosity. I’d missed how sincere and genuine she was with the people she loved and trusted. She was always so open, wearing her heart on her sleeve, even when it showed her vulnerability. She was vulnerable with these kids. They saw her happy and excited when they did something they thought they couldn’t. They also saw her upset and frustrated when they were being stubborn and refusing to try. She showed them her love and caring with every action. She’d become guarded over the years, probably jaded by life and maybe part of that was even my fault, but with her students I saw the old Mia. The one I loved when we were kids.

              After the happy but exhausted kids boarded their busses for home and the gym was cleaned up, the adults who were left all sat on the bleachers silently exhausted from the events of the afternoon.

              “That was so much fun,” Char breathed out, rubbing her protruding baby bump.

              Gage watched his wife’s movements and took her hand. “Char needs to go home and rest,” he said, standing. “Thanks for helping me pull this off, guys. The kids loved it.”

              Mia’s weary grin showed the love and appreciation she felt and her eyes shined with happiness. “Thank you. You have no idea what this meant for some of my students. It was perfect.”

              “It was our pleasure.” Toni smiled.

              “I’m outta here too,” Cade said. “I need to get to the gym.”

              “I’ll be there after I drop Char off.”

              “Yeah, I’ll be in soon too,” I said standing. “I need to run home.”

              “Don’t forget,” Toni said. “Dinner at Uncle Bobby’s tomorrow. I think Dottie said dinner’ll be done around two o’clock. ‘Don’t be late or she’ll kick your ass,’ Dad’s words not mine.” Toni laughed.

              “We’ll be there,” Cade said. “I ain’t gonna piss my momma off.”

              Everyone laughed as they headed for the doors. I hung back just a little to see Mia gather her things. She smiled. “Thanks for helpin’ out today,” she said trying to balance all of the things that needed to go back to her room. Her helpers, had already left. “I appreciate it.”

              “Here,” I said taking some of the things out of her hands. “Let me help you.”

              “Oh, no. You already did so much. I’m …” she started, but I cut her off.

              “Stop, Mia. Let me help you,” I insisted. “Lead the way.”

              I followed her as she led the way down the empty halls to her classroom. I was shocked when I entered. Most classrooms I remembered were dreadfully stark and cold places. Posters and pictures of what were supposed to be uplifting messages that we never read typically covered the walls. Instead, Mia’s classroom was like a home away from home. Of course the normal classroom desks and tables were present, but the walls were covered with student art and pictures of their families. One corner was blocked off with bookshelves; beanbag chairs and a rug made a comfortable reading area. Another area had an art center, complete with easels and art supplies neatly arranged in labeled boxes. It was a warm and inviting environment.

              “This classroom is amazin’, Mia,” I said after taking in the entire room. Gesturing to the grocery bags full of leftover food in my hands. “Where do you want this stuff?”

              “Just sit it on the back table. I’ll put it away,” Mia said. “Thanks again.”

              “No problem,” I said, taking the things still in her arms and carrying it to the back table. She walked over and started gathering some of the food we’d brought back and placed it in a refrigerator in the back of the room. She was quiet as she moved around, putting things away. Not wanting to leave her there alone, I stood by and waited.

              After a few moments of complete silence, she spoke.

              “My parents separated for good that weekend,” she said sadly.

              “What?” I questioned, confused. What weekend? What the hell was she talking about?

              “After you left my house that night I went to sleep, happier than I’d ever been. I felt more loved than I’ve ever felt.” She paused for a moment, and never looked up at me before she continued. Conflicting emotions stormed through me as she spoke. Elation because she was finally talking to me. Anger from all the years of silence. And sorrow because she actually felt loved with me and it was lost before we even had a chance. “Later I was woken by my parents shoutin’ and a door slammin’.” A tear shown in her eye. Why the hell was she randomly opening up about something that was ancient history? But it wasn’t ancient history, this moment in time shaped me more than almost any other. I’d lost the girl I loved.

              Without a word, I silently waited for her to continue. My heart pounded knowing what would come next.

              “I woke up and found my family was shattered. I found my father was gone, packed up most of his things and left. He never even said goodbye to me. And mother,” she paused and shook her head. “My poor mother was curled in a ball in the guest room, completely devastated. Do you know she didn’t get out of that bed for more than a week? She wouldn’t eat or talk. She refused to shower. I had to bring her drinks and force her to drink them. She was shattered. That’s what he did to her, he crushed her; destroyed her.”

              I didn’t know what I was supposed to say. I was still so pissed off about the past, but what she was saying made so much sense. I knew most of it from hearing town gossip, but it was different hearing it from her.

              I looked at her, willing her silently to continue. Why? I had no idea. All I knew was lately, every time I saw her, I wanted her; there was never another woman who got me the way Mia did. Now, hearing her story, knowing how she felt, how hurt and mixed up she was, I could understand why she was confused. But there was still one thing I didn’t understand.

              “Why didn’t you call me, I woulda helped you,” I said when the silence stretched out too long. I needed to know why she never came to me. We were friends first; she should’ve known I would’ve helped her.

              Either she didn’t hear me or she ignored me, because she didn’t respond to my question. She looked far away, like she was somewhere else as she continued. “You know, he only ever came back once? The next day.” She nodded her head, like it was something that I wouldn’t believe. “Mom had locked herself in the spare room; she refused to sleep in the bed she shared with him.

              “He came back to pack the rest of his things. The whole time promising me that he still loved me and that he’d still be there for me. It was the last time he came around. I’d called him so many times, but he never showed up. He didn’t come when I graduated high school or college. He didn’t come when I got my first job. And he didn’t even invite me when he remarried a couple years ago.”

              Rage burned inside of me for the girl who was destroyed by a father who abandoned her, and for the woman who still didn’t understand how he could just walk away from her. Hearing her tell the story, I could understand why she had a hard time trusting. That man – he wasn’t a father, he wasn’t even a man.

              She looked up at me, meeting my eye for just a moment before she looked down once more. She continued placing items in the fridge, not saying anything for a few long moments.

              “Thanks,” I said quietly. I was happy she finally decided to talk to me. “Thanks for sharing with me.” The fact was, I knew most of this, but I’d never heard it from her. Over the years I’d pieced together what happened between her parents from things Toni said and what people said in town. Still didn’t explain why she would let that needle-dick prick touch her days after we’d made love though. “I’m sorry you lost your relationship with your father.”

              Her eyes snapped to mine, red and shining with unshed tears. “I’m sorrier I lost you,” she said, her tears finally making tracks down her cheeks. She slid onto the table, her body crumbled into itself. Her legs dangled from the table, her shoes falling to the floor beneath her.

              I stood there stunned, staring at her. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever known. Sad, tear-filled eyes, her full lips completing her sad pout. I didn’t want her to stop sharing for anything. I wanted her to open up to me and let me in. I didn’t respond, only inching closer, listening.

              “You know, I didn’t want him,” she said, watching her feet swinging back and forth. I didn’t say a word, I knew exactly what she was talking about. She was talking about high school and the douchebag I pummeled.

              She snickered to herself, a sad giggle escaped her pouting lips. “It’s funny. I don’t even remember the asshole’s name. How could I forget the name of the person who singlehandedly changed my entire life.” She shook her head sadly. “He grabbed me in the hall and pinned me to the lockers. He forced himself on me. He kissed me; shoved his tongue into my mouth, and wouldn’t back off. I told him to get off, but he wouldn’t listen. The only time he backed off was when I kicked him in the balls.” She paused.

              “He was pissed and I thought he was gonna hurt me, until you pounced on him. You hit him so hard and so many times, I thought you’d kill him. I didn’t want him to touch me, but I didn’t want you to hurt him either. Not because I cared, but because I was worried you’d get in trouble. I didn’t want you to get in trouble. Eventually you would’ve blamed me; I was terrified you’d blame me.

              “I was just so confused by everything. My parents, what I felt for you. It was too much, too fast. I … I …” she stopped and looked at me. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Hopping off the table, she sighed sadly. “I just wanted you to know, I never meant to betray you.”

              She slid her feet back into her shoes and started to walk away. For a moment I almost let her. I was so stunned that she finally opened up to me, I almost missed it when she tried to leave. I wasn’t about to let her walk away until I said what I needed to say.

              Grabbing her arm, I turned her until she was facing me once again. Using my finger, I lifted her chin until I could see her eyes. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I whispered. “Why’d you let me believe you didn’t care about me for all these years?” I pushed, a little louder this time. All this time I so sure she had betrayed me, only now to learn that she never had. Why wouldn’t she tell me, fight for me, fight for us?

              The tears built in her eyes once more, the green in her hazel eyes shined bright as she looked at me. She pulled her arm away and walked backward until we were separated by a few feet. “Because I no longer believe in love,” she said simply.

              “What?”

              “My parents were so in love once,” she mused. “My dad doted on my mom. They laughed and were affectionate and lovin’ toward one another. They had an amazin’ relationship once upon a time. I remember bein’ a kid and watchin’ them together. They were so in love.

              “Then one day things changed. At the time, it seemed like it was over-night, but now I know it wasn’t. There were subtle changes. Dad would often work late. Suddenly he started going on business trips and would be gone for days at a time and he stopped comin’ to any of my meets and competitions.

              “Then the arguin’ started. They couldn’t agree on anything, ever. They tried counselin’, and a trip alone. Mom tried talkin’ to him. Then he was just gone, and I found out he had been having an affair with some woman in his office for more than a year.” She paused once more. “I don’t believe in love anymore.”

              I rushed her, closing the distance between us. Grabbing her around the waist, I hauled her onto my chest. I held her close, noting how good she felt in my arms, and how her body fit perfectly with mine. I didn’t know what I was doing, or what had gotten into me, but I was out of control. Years of thinking she’d betrayed me, only to find out she hadn’t, had me all tied up. And suddenly I didn’t give a shit about anything other than making up for lost time.