Uncle John’s Slightly Irregular Bathroom Reader (87 page)

The food situation was dire. Wavy Gravy tried to coordinate “breakfast in bed for 400,000,” but supplies were woefully short. And by this time, the portable toilets were unusable. Three Days of Peace and Music had become a disaster area. The situation was so bad, in fact, that New York governor Nelson Rockefeller threatened to send in National Guard troops to break up the festival.

But luckily for everyone involved, calmer heads prevailed. And still, the music went on. Audiences were treated that day and throughout the night to sets by Crosby, Stills & Nash, Ten Years After, Johnny Winter, and Joe Cocker.

Fidel Castro was once offered a chance to pitch for the New York Giants.

Woodstock’s final act, headliner Jimi Hendrix, didn’t even get to start his set until 9 a.m. on Monday morning. His instrumental version of “The Star-Spangled Banner” woke up the dozing crowd and gave them one last electrifying—but underappreciated—performance as they packed up their muddy belongings and left Yasgur’s farm. The Woodstock Music and Arts Fair was over, but for the four men who formed Woodstock Ventures, that weekend would consume them for years to come.

AFTERMATH

The largest concert in history also left one of the biggest messes in history. It took several months and $100,000 to clean up all the garbage left behind—and it was years before Max Yasgur’s land recuperated. The festival also left at least three people dead: one a 17-year-old boy who was asleep under a tractor trailer when it started up and pulled away, and two more people who died of drug overdoses. The final tally for those treated for medical problems was around 5,000. There were eight miscarriages and it was rumored that several babies were born. And with all of the free love, who knows how many babies were conceived at Woodstock.

By the festival’s end, Woodstock Ventures was $1.3 million in debt. Promotional expenses had gone 70% over budget, and production expenses were 300% over budget. Throughout the 1970s, Woodstock Ventures was mired in lawsuits and faced criminal charges for illegal drug use, breach of contract, and even illegal burning from the plumes of smoke that rose over the field for weeks as all the trash was burned. Another lawsuit came from the town of White Lake for disturbing the peace (an ironic charge for an event whose goal was to promote peace), but that suit was dropped in 1978. So was it worth it? Yes, says Lang—the whole ordeal of organizing Woodstock was like “living a dream. My idea was just to get it done, whatever it took. We had a vision, and it all came true.”

AFTER THE AFTERMATH

The saving grace for the concert promoters’ monetary woes came from the movie
Woodstock
. Warner Bros. made a film of the event (edited by Martin Scorsese) and Woodstock Ventures was entitled to residual royalties. Because of this, Woodstock Ventures broke even—in 1980. (Want to see Mrs. Uncle John? She’s in the movie. She the cute brunette behind the guy freaking out.)

Green turtles lay some 1,800 eggs in their lifetime. About 3 of them will survive to breed.

Twenty-five years later, on August 12, 1994, around 300,000 people showed up in Saugerties, New York, to attend Woodstock ’94, which was produced by Woodstock Ventures, still headed by Michael Lang, Joel Rosenman, and John Roberts.

CULTURAL LEGACY

Woodstock came at a time when the United States was at a crossroads, but did it really change anything? On the day after the event, the
New York Times
ran an editorial that called Woodstock a “colossal mess.” But just a day later, the paper changed its tune, calling it a “phenomenon of innocence. They came, it seems, to enjoy their lifestyle that is its own declaration of independence.”

Elliot Tiber, the man who supplied the original permit for Woodstock Ventures to put on the festival, says in his essay,
How Woodstock Happened
: “True believers still call Woodstock the capstone of an era devoted to human advancement. Cynics say it was a fitting, ridiculous end to an era of naivete. Then there are those who say it was just a hell of a party.”

Which of the three it actually was is still being debated, but one thing is for sure: as the summer of 1969 came to an end, the optimism that stemmed from seeing men land on the moon and 450,000 people gather peacefully in the rain was running out.

On December 6 of that year, the Rolling Stones headlined the Altamont Festival in Livermore, California. The event was scarred by a near-riot and the stabbing death of an 18-year-old man at the hands of the Hells Angels. Altamont has since been called “the day the ‘60s died” and “the anti-Woodstock.”

As the ‘70s rolled in, the nation would soon be rocked by the Watergate scandal and then an energy crisis, making that weekend in White Lake seem like a distant memory.

WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP

But Woodstock is by no means forgotten. It’s one of the most enduring images of the 1960s. And it’s likely there won’t be a concert again of its magnitude. The original site now holds a monument to the event and an amphitheater that seats 16,000... comfortably. And as for the recording studio that sparked the whole idea in the first place, it was never built.

The border between Italy and the Vatican City is marked by a painted white line.

“I think you have proven something to the world—that half a million kids can get together and have three days of fun and music and have nothing BUT fun and music. God bless you all!”

—Max Yasgur to the crowd at Woodstock

LINEUP AT WOODSTOCK

Friday:

Richie Havens

John Sebastian

Country Joe McDonald (with his “Fixin-to-Die-Rag”)

Swami Satchadinanda (the guru)

Bert Sommer

Sweetwater

Tim Hardin

Ravi Shankar (quit due to rain)

Melanie

Arlo Guthrie

Joan Baez

Saturday:

Quill (threw stuff at the audience)

Keef Hartly

Santana

Mountain

Canned Heat

The Incredible String Band

Grateful Dead

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Janis Joplin

Sly and the Family Stone

The Who

Jefferson Airplane

Sunday/Monday:

Joe Cocker (followed by a huge rainstorm)

Max Yasgur (with a speech)

Country Joe & the Fish

Ten Years After

The Band

Blood, Sweat & Tears

Johnny Winter

Crosby, Stills & Nash (joined for a few songs by Neil Young)

Paul Butterfield Blues Band

Sha-Na-Na

Jimi Hendrix

The tallest sunflower on record: 23 feet, 6 inches.

Birthstones are like horoscopes—even if you don’t believe in them, it’s fun to look them up and see what they mean
.

R
OCK STARS

Many gem scholars attribute the tradition of birthstones to the jeweled “breastplate of Aaron” described in the Bible (Exodus 28, 15-30). The breastplate was a ceremonial religious garment worn by Aaron, the brother of Moses; it was set with 12 gemstones representing the 12 tribes of Israel and perhaps, say folklorists, the 12 months of the year.

Around that same time, the Assyrians began assigning gemstones to each region of the zodiac according to a color system that they believed controlled its power. Each stone had its own distinct magical, protective, and curative qualities that corresponded with the attributes of the astrological sign. Over time the stones came to be associated more with calendar months than astrological signs.

The custom spread to other cultures—including Arabic, Jewish, Hindu, Polish and Russian, each of which modified the list of birthstones. Over the centuries, other changes and substitutions were made: sometimes accidentally by scribes, sometimes by royalty who didn’t like their birthstones, and sometimes according to fashion and availability.

ROMANCING THE STONE

In 1912 the American National Association of Jewelers came up with the Traditional Birthstone List, a standardized list that combined contemporary trends with all the birthstone lists from the 15th to the 20th centuries. A few years later, it was revised and renamed the Modern Birthstone List. The association hoped the modern list would eliminate confusion among jewelers.

Did it work? Not entirely. The old lists didn’t go away, so there are still variations in jeweler’s lists. And those aren’t the only lists, either. There’s a Mystical Birthstone list that’s based on ancient Tibetan culture, an Ayurvedic list originating from the 1,000-year-old system of Indian medicine, a zodiac list, and a planetary list, to name just a few. What’s
your
birthstone? Look it up on the Modern Birthstone List and see for yourself:

Yell for 8 years, 7 months, and 6 days and you’ll burn enough energy to heat 1 cup of coffee.

January Birthstone:
Garnet (most commonly red, but it can be found in all colors except blue)

Background:
The garnet got its name from the ancient Greeks because the stone looks like a
granatum
, or pomegranate seed.

It was used in the 13th century to repel insects and evil spirits. Egyptians placed them in tombs as payment to the gods to guarantee the spirit’s safe passage to the nether world. The garnet is considered the gem of faith and truth. Today, when you give someone a garnet, it is a token of your loyalty and devotion.

February Birthstone:
Amethyst (all hues of purple)

Background:
The amethyst was worn by the ancient Romans to ward off the temptations of Bacchus, the god of wine. The name itself is from the Greek term meaning “not drunk.” It was also believed to bring its wearers peace of mind by controlling evil thoughts. If you want to keep negative energy away from you, wear amethyst. It is the most valued stone in the quartz family. The deeper its color, the more valuable it is.

March Birthstone:
Aquamarine (light blue to blue-green to dark blue)

Background:
Legend says that Neptune, god of the sea, presented it as a gift to his mermaids, which may explain why sailors used aquamarine as a talisman for safe travel. In the 14th century, Europeans wore it as an antidote for poison. It is said to increase intelligence, enhance youth, and relieve anxiety. Giving your bride an aquamarine necklace on your wedding day will ensure a healthy marriage.

April Birthstone:
Diamond (all colors—from clear to pink, yellow, brown, red, green, blue, and even black)

Background:
The diamond is the hardest natural mineral—four times harder than the next hardest, sapphire and ruby. Ancient cultures wore it to ward off cowardice, and to insure love and harmony in relationships. Jewelers say that “diamonds are forever” because they have the longest endurance of any other mineral substance. On average, they date back 3.4 billion years. World’s largest diamond: the Cullinan Diamond from South Africa, at 3,106 carats.

In Iceland, tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult.

May Birthstone:
Emerald (deep green to yellow-green to blue-green)

Background:
Emeralds were historically one of the most prized gems. Both King Solomon and Cleopatra owned emerald mines (the Egyptians believed emeralds could kill poisonous snakes, but that didn’t help Cleopatra—she died from a snakebite). Bestowing upon its wearer wisdom, patience, everlasting love, faithfulness, and the ability to foretell the future, an emerald is regarded as an amulet for general good fortune. Large emeralds are rare; high-quality stones are valued at $3,000 to $4,000 per carat.

June Birthstone:
Pearl (depending on the type of shellfish and water it comes from, it can be white, silver, pink, brown, or black)

Background:
Pearls have been treasured throughout history by cultures around the world—Indian, Arabian, Chinese, Persian, and Egyptian, to name a few. They are believed to offer the power of love, money, and wisdom, to hasten the laws of karma, to cement relationships, and to keep children safe. Pearls are valued by their size, their color, and their “orient,” the deep inner glow and iridescence found in natural pearls. The more “orient” a pearl has, the more valuable it is.