Uncle John's Great Big Bathroom Reader (62 page)

W
HY DO STARS TWINKLE?

Have you ever tried to figure out whether something is a star or a planet by looking at the light shining from them? The easiest way to tell the difference is that stars twinkle, planets do not.

Why is this true? It’s fairly simple, actually. Stars are so far away that the light from a single star—even the nearest ones (besides the Sun)—takes years to get to your eye. By that time, the beam of starlight that enters your eye is actually a delicate filament of light, easily affected by the ripples in the atmosphere. The rippling effect of the air around us is what makes the star appear to twinkle.

Planets, on the other hand, are much closer to us. In binoculars, or even with the unaided eye, you can actually
see
the round discs of planets. This light is from such a large, nearby source that it’s not as easily affected by the turbulence in our atmosphere. Planets appear to have a strong, steady beam of light.

If you’re not sure whether you’re looking at a planet or a star, compare your target object with another source of light nearby. See if either of them twinkle.

WHY ARE STARS MEASURED IN LIGHT-YEARS?

A
light year
is the distance light travels in a year. How far is that? Well, light moves at 186,000 miles a second (it’s the fastest thing in the universe), and there are 31,536,000 seconds in a year. So the equation is:

186,000 (miles) x 31,560,000 (seconds)

That comes out to about 6 trillion miles. Stars are incredibly far away. Our galaxy, for example, is more than 100,000
light years
across. It’s a heck of a lot easier to refer to their distances in terms of light years than any smaller measurement.

WHY ARE STARS DIFFERENT COLORS?

A star’s color usually indicates its temperature. Generally speaking, blue stars are the hottest. The coolest are often red...and very large (called “red giants” because at the end of their lives, stars simultaneously cool off and swell up to 100 times their normal size). In between blue and red, in decreasing order, are white, yellow, and orange.

WHAT ARE “SHOOTING STARS?”

Meteors.

Okay, then—what are meteors?

Meteors are often the byproduct of comets, especially when they’re in “meteor showers.”

Explanation:
When a comet passes near the sun, it leaves particles of rock and dust in its wake, called
meteoroids.
If the Earth passes near or through this trail of comet debris, some meteoroids are pulled toward us by gravity. They may get so close that they pass into our atmosphere—which quickly slows them down. (A lot like throwing a small rock into a pond of water.) We see a streak of light in the night sky, caused by vaporization of the meteoroid’s particles. And that’s when the meteoroid becomes a
meteor
, or shooting star.

How big are they?
Most meteors are no larger than the toenail on your little toe. Many are just the size of a grain of sand. (Really!) But some can be the size of your fist and, in rare cases, the size of a large dog or even a car. Most burn out before reaching the ground, but when a large meteor enters the Earth’s atmosphere, it can survive its fall and land somewhere on the planet.

Many meteors disappear into the water, never to be seen again. But some are found on land—especially on the Antarctic icefields. (If a rock is found on an icefield, it can only be from a meteor, since there are no other rocks around.)

When a meteor lands on the solid surface of the Earth, it becomes a
meteorite.
They’re hard to find because, to the untrained eye, they look just like any other rocks. Good luck.

Here’s more research from Uncle John’s trip to zoo. For more, we recommend the book
Beastly Behaviors by Janine Benyus.

W
ATCHING ZEBRAS

Behavior:
Rubbing.

What It Means:
They have an itch to scratch. Zebras rub up against trees, termite mounds or rubbing posts to scratch places they can’t reach by themselves. They also rub to remove insects, loose hair...or dandruff.

Behavior:
Sniffing / Rubbing noses.

What It Means:
Hello. Stallions from different groups will sniff each other’s noses as part of a greeting ceremony. This defuses any potential tension or aggression.

Behavior:
Circling.

What It Means:
They’re fighting. Zebras circling one another will try to bite each other while trying to avoid being bitten. They’ll continue around and around, crouching to protect their hind legs until they’re practically pivoting on their haunches.

Behavior:
Neck wrestling.

What It Means:
Fighting. After circling for some time, zebras often begin neck wrestling (similar to humans thumb wrestling). While one places his neck on top of the other’s and pushes down, the zebra underneath is pushing up. Often, the zebra on the bottom will suddenly drop down and pull his head out, trying to get his neck across his opponent’s.

Behavior:
Lip curling.

What It Means:
Courtship. After sniffing a female’s rear and urine, a zebra stallion will raise his head with a lip curl gesture—nose in the sky and lips curled back. This seals his nostrils, helping the odor to travel quickly to his scent receptors.

Behavior:
Nibbling.

What It Means:
Grooming. Zebras nibble by scratching their upper incisors against the other’s coat, getting rid of loose hair and cleaning the skin. They begin by nibbling one side of each other’s necks and backs. They continue on to their tails, then turn around and start working on the other side.

WATCHING PENGUINS

Behavior:
“Slender walking”—walking with the beak pointed up, feathers sleeked back, and flippers held to the sides.

What It Means:
“I mean no harm.” Since penguins live in crowded colonies, they often have to walk by many other penguins just to get a drink of water. By putting its bill in the air, the bird is “symbolically taking its weapon out of commission.” The slender walk is a penguin’s way of saying “Don’t mind me. I’m not going to bother you.”

Behavior:
Panting.

What It Means:
Penguins pant to cool themselves down. Their bodies are designed to keep heat in; when temperatures reach 32°F, they need to cool off. They pant with their beaks open to take advantage of the cooling effects of evaporation.

Behavior:
Pecking at another penguin.

What It Means:
They’re fighting. Penguins spar bill to bill. They’ll peck and pull at each other trying to grab hold of the other’s body. When they do get a grip, they often strike each other with their flippers.

Behavior:
Mutual bowing.

What It Means:
Courtship. Though a pair of penguins may be attracted to each other, both need to overcome their aggressive tendencies. Bowing helps them become more comfortable with one another.

Behavior:
“Ecstatic displaying.”

What It Means:
This is a way for male penguins to announce ownership of nest sites and to attract females. An ecstatic displaying penguin will rear his head back, point his bill at the sky, fluff his crest feathers, roll his eyes back, wave his flippers, and give
a
loud
gaa aah aah aah
call.

Here’s more on Nostradamus, from our book
Uncle John’s Indispensable Guide to the Year 2000.
For “The Secrets of Nostradamus,” turn back to
page 169
.

A
BIG INFLUENCE

Even if you think Nostradamus and his prophecies are nonsense, you can’t dismiss him as a cultural force. More than 400 years after his death, he still has an impact on people’s lives.

For example:

• In 1980, a book by Jean Charles de Fontbrune,
Nostradamus: Historien et Prophète
, created a sensation in France with the claim that Nostradamus predicted an Arab attack on Europe that would soon trigger World War III. A poll conducted by
Paris Match
revealed that 75% of French citizens had heard of the book and 25% (17 million people) believed it.

• In 1988, a “mini-crisis” occurred in California when
The Man Who Saw Tomorrow
—a documentary about Nostradamus hosted by Orson Welles—predicted that a terrible earthquake would imminently destroy Los Angeles. Gossip columnists reported that so many celebrities had left town, it was easy to get good tables at Hollywood restaurants.

• In 1991, Japanese author Ben Goto reached the top of his country’s bestseller list with
Predictions of Nostradamus: Middle East Chapter
, which purported to show how Nostradamus had predicted events leading to the Gulf War.

There are new Nostradamus books every year, adding to the thousands already in print. A bewildered publishing executive once told Uncle John: “It’s amazing, but it seems that we just can’t lose money doing books about Nostradamus.” And in recent years, tabloids have cashed in on our fascination with Nostradamus. A typical headline in the
Weekly World News:
“New! Secret Predictions of Nostradamus! The Date Jesus Will Return to Earth...and Bring Peace to the Planet!”

NOSTRADAMUS AND THE MILLENNIUM

As the millennium approaches, Nostradamus is becoming even more visible than ever. One reason is that he’s in the public domain—no one owns the rights to his name or image, so companies can use it on products for free. For example, starting in 1998, people could call Nostradamus’s 900 number for “psychic advice”...or buy a Nostradamus Watch to count down to the year 2000.

But a bigger reason is that Nostradamus is the father of apocalyptic prophecy for the millennium. He even gave us a specific date to fear—the seventh month of 1999.

DOOMSDAY 2000

In what is possibly his most famous passage—Quatrain 72 of
Centuries 10
—he predicts a millennial catastrophe.

The year 1999, seventh month,

A great king of terror will descend from the skies,

To resuscitate the great king of Angolmois,

Around this time Mars will reign for the good cause.

There are plenty of “expert” interpretations of this quatrain...and as you might guess, none of them are particularly cheery. For example:

• In
The Prophecies of Nostradamus
, Erika Cheetha concludes: “Nostradamus seems to foresee the end of the world at the Millennium, the year 2000....[But] first we must suffer the Asian antichrist, ‘the King of the Mongols’.”

• In
The Complete Prophecies of Nostradamus
, Henry C. Roberts says that “a tremendous world revolution is foretold to take place in the year 1999, with a complete upheaval of existing social orders, preceded by world-wide wars.”

• In
Doomsday: 1999 A.D.
, Charles Berlitz warns of “the possibility of the earth being struck by a gigantic heavenly body” which he believes could refer to a comet, planetoid, or giant meteor.

No one knows exactly what he meant—if anything. But if you’re reading this before July 1999, keep watching the skies. And if you’re reading this after...well, not even Nostradamus could get
everything
right.

The phrases in the left column are terms you might hear dedicated bureaucrats use. The words in the right column are plain English. If you can match them, you may have a future in the government.