Uncle John's Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader (67 page)

 

7.
What do the following words have in common?

 

8.
If a pilot flies 200 miles due north and then 100 miles due south, what’s the closest distance he can be from his starting point? What’s the farthest?

 

9.
Can you think of a triumphant adverb that contains double C, double S, and double L? Now think of a second one that is the opposite.

 

10.
These famous quotations are missing their vowels. Once you figure out the theme, you should be able to get them all.

 

11.
How is it possible to add 4 to 9 and come up with 1?

 

12.
You have $63 cash in your pocket. But you have no $1 bills, and no coins. What do you have?

 

13.
Another riddle: God never sees one; kings rarely see one; you and I see them every day. What?

By the early 2000s, most of the advancements in digital camera technology had been with 35mm SLRs. But these larger cameras and their interchangeable lenses are primarily used by serious hobbyists and professionals. Most people use their cameras for a much simpler reason: taking snapshots.

The first compact digital point-and-shoots were released in the late 1990s, but it wasn’t until 2002 that the first models under $100 became available. In 2003 the first
single-use
digital cameras became available for less than $20. Similar to disposable film cameras, you just snap away until the camera’s built-in memory card is full (anywhere from 25 to 50 shots) and take it back to the store to receive a set of prints along with a CD of your files. Both of these new cameras caused digital sales to skyrocket. Canon, for example, released its first compact digital in 2000; in 2008 the company celebrated the sale of its
100 millionth
compact digital. But even that feat would be dwarfed by another product of the digital era…a product you probably have with you right now.

While point-and-shoot digitals make it easier than ever to take and share pictures, they still require people to actually have their cameras on hand when the picture-taking moment arrives. Few people take their camera
everywhere
they go, but these days nearly everyone has another item with them—a cell phone. Putting the two together has altered the way we view our world.

The cell phone camera was invented by Philippe Kahn in 1997. Kahn, a software developer, was sitting in a hospital waiting room in Santa Cruz, California, while his wife was preparing to give birth. He wanted to photograph the new arrival and send the pictures to his friends and family…immediately. So he wrote a
crude program on his laptop computer and sent an assistant to get a soldering iron. After some tinkering, Khan took pictures of the delivery and then used his cell phone to send them out via e-mail. Needless to say, his friends were amazed to receive pictures of an event that had occurred only moments earlier—and from a
phone
.

After that, it took three years of development before cell phone cameras became available, first in Japan in 2000, and in the U.S. in 2002. Now, nearly every cell phone comes standard with the ability to shoot digital images and even videos. It’s projected that by 2011, more than a billion cell phone cameras will have been sold.

A camera now sits in nearly every pocket and purse in the developed world. It’s turned everyday people into photojournalists—and has had nearly as big an effect at deterring crime as security cameras. “We’ve been under surveillance under these big black-and-white cameras on buildings and at 7-Eleven stores,” said Fred Turner, an assistant professor of communications at Stanford University. But thanks to cell phones, “the candid camera is wielded by individuals now.” Cell phone cameras have allowed people to capture incidents that might have otherwise gone unrecorded: the prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib in Iraq in 2004, Britain’s Prince Harry wearing a Nazi uniform at a party in 2005, the shooting spree at Virginia Tech in 2007, and countless other accounts of “citizen paparazzi.”

And now, instead of just calling the police on your cell phone after you’ve been mugged or carjacked, you can send pictures of the perpetrators and their getaway car. A typical example of a crime-fighting cell-phone camera took place in 2009 in Cape Coral, Florida. A woman was walking her dog when she saw a man breaking into a vacant house. She snapped some pictures on her phone and then called 911. The suspect was quickly captured.

But even more than the news-making moments, it’s the cell phone camera’s ability to capture the everyday moments that has made it so popular; it’s even replaced the wallet as the preferred place to keep baby pictures. “Cell phone cameras have had such a massive impact because they’re just so convenient,” said Philippe Kahn. “There’s always a way to capture memories and share them.

You go to a restaurant, and there’s a birthday and suddenly everyone is getting their camera phones out. It’s amazing.”

The cell phone camera phenomenon has become so widespread, in fact, that it’s significantly cutting into to the sales of regular digital cameras. And for the first time, the sales of point-and-shoots—which have been steadily climbing—may soon be on the decline. “The manufacturers were rewarded with market growth, but once they filled that bucket, there wasn’t any other bucket to fill,” said Chris Chute, a digital imaging analyst for the research firm International Data Corporation (IDC).

Why the sudden decline? First, because of aggressive marketing, every time a new camera was released with a slightly higher megapixel capacity, the average consumer’s camera became outdated—they
had
to have the new one. But cameras’ capacity and reliability have both increased so much since 2005 that only cutting-edge professionals need to update every year or so. Result: In 2006 the IDC concluded that “the digital camera market will peak prematurely, missing the opportunity to replace film cameras as the predominant method of taking photos. Instead the market will be made up of a more diverse range of digital devices with photo capturing abilities, such as cell phones and other combination devices.” They predict that 2011 will be the first year that digital camera sales will decrease from the previous year.

But even if there
is
a decline in sales, between cell phones, point-and-shoots, SLRs, and closed-circuit security cameras, there are
a lot
of digital cameras in the world today. How many? It’s tough to say, but there are billions—at least one camera for every person in the world. And according to the International Imaging Industry Association, roughly six billion digital pictures are taken each year. That works out to about 190,000 photos taken around the world every second.

So there’s no question that this influx has profoundly affected society—the question is how. Turns out that the digital photography revolution has a downside (a few, actually).

Details:
It’s advertised as “the #1 party cruise in America, for those who love dance music and live by the mantra to work hard and play harder.” So it’s a crazy, wild week of debauchery at sea, right? Wrong. The cruise is popular with religious groups; participants must sign an agreement that prohibits the use of alcohol, illegal substances, weapons, pets, non-PG-rated music, costume parties, toga parties, and “lingerie modeling.”

Details:
Named for a Neil Diamond song, the cruise is dedicated to the music and life of Neil Diamond. Shipboard entertainment includes the cover band Hot August Nights performing the songs of Neil Diamond, a Neil Diamond karaoke contest, and a meet-and-greet with members of Neil Diamond’s touring band. Not appearing on the cruise: Neil Diamond.

Details:
It’s just like a typical cruise: There’s sunbathing, swimming, disco dancing, a casino, shuffleboard…except that everybody is naked. There are special naked-themed activities, such as a workshop called Sensual Awakening, nude drawing classes, and couples massage. The only place where cruisers are required to wear clothes is the formal dining room.

Details:
Officially, this 2009 cruise was for fans of the classic comedy duo of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. But more specifically, it was for fans of the movie
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein
. Since the two stars are long dead, they didn’t appear on the cruise, but two of Costello’s children were aboard, as was

Abbott’s niece and the niece of Glenn Strange, the actor who played Frankenstein.

Details:
A cruise for Cold War and espionage buffs, Spycruise offers lectures and discussions with former CIA, MI-6, and even KGB agents. While cruising the Black Sea around eastern Europe to formerly Soviet-controlled areas (Ukraine, Bulgaria, Romania), daily lectures are given on topics such as spy life, spy history, and “clandestine equipment,” or spy gear.

Details:
This voyage allows travelers to take their bikes—Harleys, Hondas, and choppers—aboard the ship, where they show them off to fellow enthusiasts en route to “party destinations” such as rocker Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo resort in Mexico. It’s not as much fun as it could be: Participants are expressly forbidden from starting or riding their motorcycles on board. (They must walk them off the ship before starting them up.)

Details:
Among the classic elements of a vacation are sun, sand, and…PBS? On the 2009 Public Television at Sea cruise, vacationers discussed current events with Gwen Ifill, moderator and managing editor of the PBS news series
Washington Week,
and David Fanning, the executive producer of
Frontline.

Details:
There have been quite a few
Star Trek
–themed cruises in the past, but this 2009 expedition was different—it was part sailing
Star Trek
convention and part “whodunnit” game. After vacationers got autographs from an array of supporting and minor players from recent
Trek
TV shows, they participated in a
Trek
-themed murder-mystery game. (We’re going to venture a guess that the murderer was Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!)

“You couldn’t get me on Mars if it were the last place on Earth.”

—
Erma Cohen

 

he Artist:
LL Cool J

The Song:
“Mama Said Knock You Out” (1991)

The Story:
LL Cool J (real name: James Smith) was suffering from a street-cred problem. After releasing the sensitive ballad “I Need Love,” the talk in the rap world was that he’d “gone soft.” Unsure how to respond in song when recording his fourth album in 1990, Smith thought of his grandmother (not his mama), who often told him, “If a task is once begun, never leave it ’til it’s done.” He called his grandmother and told her about his problem. She told him to simply “knock out” the competition…but to keep his lyrics profanity-free. Smith listened and then crafted “Mama Said Knock You Out,” an aggressive rap song that addresses his critics. It went to #1, the biggest hit of LL Cool J’s career.

 

The Artist:
Counting Crows

The Song:
“Mr. Jones” (1994)

The Story:
One night in 1993, Crows lead singer Adam Duritz went out to a bar in San Francisco with his friend (and former bandmate) Marty Jones to see Jones’s father, a Spanish flamenco guitarist, perform. They got drunk, hoping it would give them courage to talk to some girls, but they still lacked the nerve. They did talk (to each other) about how they’d
definitely
have the nerve to flirt if they were big stars. That conversation inspired Duritz to write “Mr. Jones” about the near-universal desire to be a rock star. Released in 1994, the song went to #5 and, ironically, launched the band to fame. (Duritz made good on his wish—after becoming famous, he dated Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox.)