Uncharted Waters (24 page)

“I really appreciate your looking out for our best interest,” she said sarcastically. And the pain began to flow, like a river that had flooded its banks to erode a tentative foundation.

“Last night,” he began. “Alison, my God, it was intense and unforgettable. But it wasn't right. I can't forget who I am to you.”

“You're the man I've fallen in love with,” she said.

He looked away. “I was your husband's best friend. I was there the night he died. I can't just pick up where he left off.”

He may as well have struck her. The words had the same effect. She flinched, felt her breath leave her lungs. After all the talking they'd done the night before, she'd believed Drew had finally come to terms with her being Rick's widow. How could she have been so wrong?

“You could have told me you felt that way before you slept with me.” She knew that was an unfair statement. Neither of them could have stopped what happened any more than they could stop the waves from beating upon the beach.

“I'm sorry,” he said quietly. “About a lot of things. I know that's not enough, but it's all I've got.”

She choked out a laugh, but it sounded more like a sob and was fraught with pain. She didn't know what to say. It was as if all her emotions had tangled inside her and she could no more sort through them than she could a knotted ball of twine.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Drew looked down at the floor. For several seconds the only sound
Alison could hear was the pounding of her heart. She could feel it raging in her chest, pumping pain to every cell in her body. Tears burned at the backs of her eyes, but she swiped at them with the sleeve of her robe and refused to succumb. Her chest felt as if it were splitting in two.

“I think maybe it would be best if you left,” she said.

“Alison—”

“Don't you dare tell me you're sorry again, damn you.” When the tears threatened in earnest, she turned to the stove and stared blindly at the heap of pancakes. “Get out.”

“Alison—”

“Now. Get out.”

Even though she still had her back to him, she was keenly aware of his hesitation, that he hadn't moved. Tears burned tracks down her cheeks, but she made no move to stop them.

An eternity passed before she heard Drew sigh, then walk out of the kitchen. She stared straight ahead, watching the rain slide down the window, hurting more than she'd ever imagined, wondering if she'd done the right thing. A moment later she heard the front door open, and then click quietly shut.

And her heart simply broke.

* * *

Drew stared blindly through the windshield of his truck, vaguely aware of the wipers waging a losing war against the rain. In the distance he could see the outline of his house through the torrent. The two-bedroom frame had been built on ten-foot stilts and was situated just a few yards from Emerald Cove inlet. The area was prone to high tides during hurricane season. But
the stilts had always saved it from any water damage. Drew had fallen in love with the place the first time he'd seen it.

This morning, however, the house looked and felt incredibly empty. He felt much the same way inside.

He parked in the gravel driveway and sat in his truck, watching the sago palms sway wildly in the gale. But instead of thinking about storm preparations, he thought of Alison. He couldn't believe he'd hurt her the way he had. He hadn't even said goodbye to Kevin. Damn it, neither of them deserved to be treated like that.

Drew had done the one thing he swore he wouldn't. He'd hurt the two people he cared for most. He'd walked out on them when they'd needed him. He'd broken his word to his best friend.

Damn it, why the hell couldn't she see that they were better off without him?

Flinging open the truck door, he sprinted to the wooden steps that took him to the porch. By the time he got the door unlocked, he was soaked to the skin. But instead of going for a towel, Drew went directly to the phone, snatched it up and dialed Seth's number from memory. Drew might not be able to keep an eye on Alison, but that didn't mean he was going to leave her unprotected after what had happened at Evans Yachts.

He wasn't overly concerned that the man who'd accosted her would make another appearance. DeBruzkya's henchmen were after information about the sub, not Alison or her little boy. She had simply been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Still, Drew knew from experience that fate was a fickle bitch and didn't always play fair.

“Seth Evans,” came his cousin's curt voice.

“It's Drew.”

“Hey, Drew.” Seth sounded harried and snappish. “Hell of a storm.”

“Everything okay at the marina?”

“Surf is beating the hell out of the boats. We're bringing the smaller ones in to dry dock. We're taking the Pisces out to sea to ride out the storm.”

“Be careful. It's blowing like hell.”

“Tell me about it.” He paused. “How's Alison? She looked pretty shaken up yesterday.”

Drew closed his eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about Alison's state of mind. He knew Seth would have a few choice words when he found out what Drew had done to her. He didn't expect Seth to understand. “I want you to put one of your security people on her house for a couple of days.”

A thoughtful silence ensued. “I thought you were going to be with her.”

“I'm not.”

“Why the hell not?”

“I'd rather not get into it, Seth. You're the one who involved her. Can you just get someone out there?”

“What happened?”

Drew said nothing, feeling very cold inside. “I'm going to call Marcus, see if he can put a rush on those prints.”

Seth was silent for a moment. “Alison's a good woman, Drew. Probably the best thing that ever happened to you. Don't screw it up.”

I already have, he thought. “I'm in no mood for a lecture, Seth. Just get someone over there. Okay?”

He sighed. “Okay. But I think you're a fool.”

“Yeah.” Frowning, he disconnected. “So do I,” he said into the silence.

Drew turned and faced his empty living room. Aside from the storm, the house was utterly quiet. Such a contrast to Alison's house, where laughter and conversation and life abounded.

I love you.

He heard her words as clearly as if she were standing right beside him. He'd been inside her when she'd said those words. They'd been as close as a man and a woman could be, and yet he hadn't been able to tell her what was in his heart. What the hell kind of coward did that make him?

The memory of the way she'd looked at him when they'd been making love struck him like a blow. Drew wasn't sure why his mind chose this moment to torture him, but there was no escaping it. They hadn't made love just once. He had been inside her half the night. He'd kissed every part of her body. She'd kissed every part of his body in return. He knew her inside and out and every place in between.

They'd talked all night, but not once did he tell her he loved her. Not once. He knew that had hurt her. He knew that made him a bastard. But what could he do?

Take care...Alison and Kevin...

Rick's dying words rang inside his head. That he hadn't been able to come through for his friend shamed him. As far as Drew was concerned, he'd made a mockery of them. He'd slept with his best friend's wife. He'd hurt her and her little boy. Then he'd left them.

Feeling worse than he'd felt in a very long time, he walked to the window and watched the storm tear at
the palms, felt as if the same forces were tearing him apart inside.

He didn't know how he was going to get through this. He didn't know how he was going to live with himself. Worse, he didn't know how he was going to live without Alison and her boy.

* * *

Alison found Kevin lying on his bed, staring at his Zoomer 57 Skyeagle. “Hey, kiddo,” she said. “You feeling okay?”

Her little boy turned chocolate-brown eyes on her. “Hi, Mommy.”

“Whatcha doing?”

He lifted a skinny little shoulder and ran his finger along the wingtip of the toy jet. “Thinking.”

“Oh yeah?” She sat on the bed beside him. “About what?”

“Drew. He didn't even say goodbye.”

“Oh, honey, I think he just had some business to take care of.”

“I heard you arguing. You made him go away.”

Because he was hurting, she couldn't bring herself to remind him that eavesdropping wasn't polite. She was still trying to decide how to handle the situation when he hit her with another zinger.

“Drew's mad at you, and he's mad at me. And he's not going to come back ever!”

“Oh, honey, he's not mad at you.”

“He said we could go to the plane graveyard, Mommy. He promised.”

“I'll tell you what. Maybe you and I can take a drive over to the plane graveyard as soon as the storm passes. Drew said it's pretty close. Maybe we can go tomorrow.”

“I don't want to go with you. I want to go with Drew!”

“Kevin,” she said firmly. “Drew...has a lot on his mind right now. He's not mad at you. And he's not mad at me. Okay? He's just...trying to work through some problems.”

Kevin's shoulders slumped. “I thought he was my friend.”

“Oh, he is, honey. He cares for you very much.”

“Why did he leave, then?”

“He just...had some things to take care of today.” The words sounded hollow even to her. “He's an adult. He has a business to take care of. You understand, don't you?”

His thin shoulders rose and fell. “I guess so.”

Alison took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I have a really exciting surprise for you.”

Kevin looked up at her with hopeful eyes. “Really?”

“Yep.” She brushed the hair off his forehead. “I just got off the phone with your uncle Roger. Do you remember Roger? From San Diego?”

“Yeah. He's bald.” Kevin nodded. “And I threw up in his car when he took me for ice cream.”

Alison reached out and tugged on his earlobe, chuckling. “Well, Roger was telling me that the asthma clinic in San Diego is really good, and they're looking for smart little boys just like you. He and his wife have a big house near the beach and invited us to stay with them for a little while.”

When that elicited nothing more than a blank stare she trudged on, doing her best to sound enthusiastic. “How would you feel about moving out to San Diego, honey?”

Kevin blinked at her. “But I like it here, Mommy.”

“Oh, but just think: in San Diego you have the Pacific Ocean. Disneyland isn't too far away. I'll bet you'll like San Diego even better.”

“What about Drew?”

Her smile faltered at the mention of Drew, but she held on to it with all of her might. She wasn't going to let Drew do this to them. She wasn't going to let him make her and her son unhappy. For too long she'd fought her way through heartbreak. She wasn't going to go through it again. Damn it, she wasn't.

“Drew's life is here in Florida, honey.”

“I don't wanna go to San Deego.”

“San Diego. And you could always call him.”

“I like it here because there are hurricanes and plane graveyards and Drew takes us for rides in his plane.”

“There's a Navy base in San Diego, honey. I'm sure Roger would—”

“I don't wanna go to San Deego, Mommy. I wanna stay here.”

Realizing this wasn't a battle she was going to win overnight, Alison didn't press the issue. She'd planted the seed; that was all she could do for now. Kevin would come to terms with it. He would have to. She'd already accepted her older brother's invitation. Kevin's medical records were already en route. By the end of the week, she and Kevin would be gone.

She looked down at her son and told herself she was doing the right thing. For the life of her she couldn't figure out why it felt so damn wrong.

A
lison awoke with a start. She wasn't sure what had wakened her, but her heart was pounding and a cold uneasiness gripped her like icy fingers. Sitting up abruptly, she looked around the dimly lit living room, trying to identify the source of the unease running through her.

With half an ear, she listened for Kevin in his bedroom. The small television set was on, but there was no singing along. No clanging of toys or revving of motors. No conversation with his favorite bear.

The silence was deafening.

Slipping off the sofa, Alison headed toward his room. She could hear the wind whipping around the house. It was eerily dark, though the clock above the television told her it wasn't yet noon.

“Kevin?” Trying hard to shove aside the uneasiness, she reached for the knob on his bedroom door. “Honey, would you like some lunch? I thought we'd make some of those chocolate chip cook—”

A bolt of fear went through her when the knob refused to move. She jiggled it from side to side. “Kevin?” Using her palm, she pounded on the door. “Young man, you know the rule about locking doors in this house.”

But it was fear resonating in her voice, not authority. Holding her breath, she waited for a response that
didn't come. Panic laced her voice when she tried again. “Honey, open this door immediately!”

Heart pounding, she leaned forward and put her ear to the door, listening. “Kevin? Are you in there? Sweetheart, open the door for Mommy!”

Kneeling, Alison looked at the knob, noticed the little hole and realized the lock was the kind that could be easily jimmied with any long, narrow object.

A dozen scenarios raced through her mind as she sprinted down the hall toward the extra bedroom. First and foremost was the ever-present fear that he'd had an asthma attack and was unable to respond. The thought shook her so thoroughly that a sound of pure terror escaped her. She could hear herself breathing hard as she crossed the room to her desk and yanked open a drawer. Pens and papers flew as she searched for a paper clip. Finding one, she tore out of the room and dashed to Kevin's door.