Uncharted Waters (22 page)

“Ask yourself that question the next time you're with Kevin,” she said, trying desperately to shove back a surge of emotion. “He's so full of life and hope—” Her voice broke, forcing her to pause. “I've spent the last four years doing that. And, yes, that child has taught me that life does, indeed, go on.” She took a shuddery breath. “What's been happening between you and I... Drew, it's real and honest and good. Rick wouldn't begrudge either of us any of those things. He
loved us, too. So for God's sake, stop blaming yourself for something you played no role in.”

Closing his eyes, Drew lowered his head and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, as if struggling against a barrage of emotions that was too much for him to handle.

Alison could only imagine how difficult this was for him. She knew him well enough to know he would just as soon cut off his own arm than share something as private as his emotions. She could practically feel the pain coming off him. She wished she could absorb it and somehow take on some of his pain herself, but knew she couldn't. He had to do that himself. Maybe it would take him one step closer to healing, one step closer to putting this behind him once and for all.

“You've been holding this inside you for a long time,” she said quietly.

Raising his head, he looked at her, his jaws clamped tight with tension. “There are some things that just don't go away.”

“They don't go away if you hold them inside.”

“I feel responsible for what happened,” he said. “I feel guilty as hell because Rick's dead and I'm here with you.”

She shied away from the last statement, thinking she would broach it later, when she felt steadier. “Have you tried counseling?”

A half smile tugged at one side of his mouth. “You mean other than a bartender?”

She smiled. “Kimberly's a registered nurse. She'll know someone. I can get a name and number—”

“Let me think about it, okay?”

Because he'd ventured this far, she didn't want to
push him and nodded. “Okay. Just let me know. All right?”

“Yeah.” His gaze sought hers, and he looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. “I thought you blamed me. Even when you denied it, I didn't believe you. I always figured that deep down inside you hated me.”

“Never.”

“It means a lot to hear you say that.”

“It's the truth.”

The distant rumble of thunder punctuated her words. The wind had picked up at some point and Alison could hear the palm fronds scraping rhythmically against the front window. Lightning flashed in her peripheral vision, but she didn't move.

“There's a storm coming,” she said, surprised when her voice sounded breathless.

“A bad one.”

Alison stared at Drew, suddenly aware that they were standing dangerously close. Her heart was pounding hard and fast and she could feel the pulse of it throughout her body. It was as if her every sense had been heightened to a fever pitch. She was aware of the scent of his aftershave surrounding her. She felt the heat of his gaze like the sun on her skin, burning her. Vaguely she was aware of the sound of rain against the roof.

“Come here,” he said.

He didn't wait for her to move and traversed the short span between them with a single step. A kaleidoscope of emotions played over his face, making him look dangerous and vulnerable at once. His eyes darkened. His mouth softened, but he didn't smile. She wasn't sure who reached for whom, but the next thing
she knew they were body to body. And the very air around them seemed to vibrate with electricity.

She started at a sudden clap of thunder. A shiver barreled through her when she felt his hands at her back, caressing her with small, gentle circles. His cheek was pressed warmly against hers. The chafe of his whiskers felt indescribably good. She was keenly aware of the hard ridge of his arousal against her belly. The warmth of his breath against her ear.

A quiver ran the length of his body when she leaned into him and put her arms around his neck. Tension coiled in the rock-hard muscles of his shoulders. Pulling away slightly, he cupped her face and kissed her. Tender kisses at first. When that was no longer enough, he took more, crushing his mouth against hers, dipping with his tongue to taste her.

Need coursed through her body like a fast-acting drug rushing through her veins. Her breasts grew heavy and full and began to ache. She felt the tug of need deep in her womb. Heat spread through her as if she'd been doused with gasoline and set afire. But it was a sweet pain that burned her flesh and she reveled in it.

Drew kissed her long and hard and until her blood ran hot. Breaking the kiss, he lifted his T-shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Until this moment, Alison had never felt free to truly touch him. To explore or marvel at the stark male beauty of his body. But she did so now, running her hands over his chest where the muscle beneath her palms jumped with tension. She brushed her fingertips over the hardened nubs of his nipples, and he groaned low in his throat.

She struggled to unfasten the fly of his jeans. She could feel the length of him straining against the
denim, and the need to touch him there was every bit as urgent as the need to take her next breath.

“Not here,” he whispered. “The bedroom. I want all of you this time. No holds barred.”

The words both thrilled and unnerved her. Desire and the inherent need to protect her heart from danger pulled her in different directions. Needing a moment to regroup, she eased away from him and started toward the hall. Her head spun as she entered Kevin's room. But the sight of him made her smile. She covered him. “Good night, sweetheart,” she whispered and kissed his cheek.

Drew met her in the hall. “He asleep?”

“He didn't even stir when I covered him.”

The next thing she knew she was being swept into his arms. She started to protest, but his mouth came down on hers and stole her breath. Alison kissed him back, vaguely aware that he was carrying her toward her bedroom. Anticipation and nerves and a sudden wrenching uncertainty clashed inside her. Drew entered the room, closed the door behind them and laid her gently on the bed.

“You're shaking,” he said.

“So are you.”

He hadn't turned on the light, but she could make out enough of his face from the lightning flashing outside the window to see the tension in his expression.

“You sure about this?” he asked. “I mean, if you're not—”

“I am.” She was, she realized. She wanted to be with him in every way a woman could be with a man. She wanted to touch him. To be touched. Physically. Emotionally.

There had been no one in the four years Rick had
been gone. Alison had accepted the reality that there would never be another man in her life. She hadn't counted on Drew Evans entering the picture and turning her world upside down.

She kept a candle on the night table next to the bed. It touched her when he knelt and fumbled around in the semidarkness to light it. With the candlelight flickering, and the scent of vanilla rising, he stood and looked down at her. He was incredibly attractive and startlingly male. The sight of him made her pulse skitter madly with anticipation and the heady zing of nerves.

Yellow light flickered over his body as he unfastened his jeans and stepped out of them. Her heart rapped hard against her ribs as he moved toward her, and she started shaking all over again.

Lightning flashed beyond the windows, illuminating the flex of his muscles as he crawled into bed. Alison was still fully clothed, but when his body touched hers, she suddenly wanted nothing separating them. As if reading her mind, Drew reached for the hem of her T-shirt and drew it over her head. She jolted when he reached around behind her and unclasped her bra.

Using his arms for support on either side of her, he leaned down and kissed her softly. Her body went liquid when he pressed his full length against her. Never taking his mouth from hers, he propped on an elbow and reached for her. An involuntary sound escaped her when he cupped her breasts. He trapped her sensitized nipples between his thumbs and forefingers and the pleasure that followed was almost too much to bear.

Alison arched and whispered his name and felt her control begin to slip away. Need like she'd never before known coiled inside her, a short fuse about to
explode. She felt feverish, as if she were burning up inside and the only thing that would douse the heat was his touch. He kissed her hungrily and her body began to ache. A sweet, uncomfortable ache that pounded through her with every beat of her heart.

He reached for the waistband of her shorts. She lifted her hips and he eased the shorts and panties down her legs. She could feel herself trembling, as if a low-voltage shock were going through her body. “Easy,” he said and whispered her name.

The high-wire tension built inside her until she felt as if she couldn't bear it. He touched her gently, running his hands over her breasts, her stomach, her hips. But it wasn't enough. “Please,” she whispered.

Breaking the kiss, he ran his tongue along her throat to her collarbone and kissed her there. She could feel his palms flat against her belly. Her pulse jumped when his fingers brushed against the curls at her V. Alison opened to him. She cried out his name when he slipped two fingers inside her.

“Oh, Drew.” Her body arched involuntarily when he began to stroke her. She'd never considered herself a sexual being. Alison had always defined herself as a mother and wife. But for the first time in her life she was totally out of control. A slave to the sensations streaking through her.

The contractions began deep within her womb. She rode the waves, let them carry her, and she was awed and amazed by the power of them. All the while, Drew stroked her, never giving her a respite, never giving her a chance to catch her breath. Her release came with the same vengeance as the storm breaking outside. With the same force of the wind and rain lashing the windows. She heard his name on her lips, her name being
whispered in her ear, of his long, thick fingers stroking and teasing and driving her to slow insanity.

A mewling sound broke from her lips when he took a taut nipple into his mouth. He suckled her hard, laving the engorged tip with his tongue. She could feel the waves building again, but it wasn't enough, and they didn't crest. She writhed beneath him when he trailed kisses down to her navel. Her body went rigid when his mouth reached the crisp curls at her mound. Alison wasn't a prude, but her first instinct was to stop him. But by the time the command reached her brain, he had opened her with his fingers and set his mouth against her most private part.

The pleasure blinded her. She heard herself cry out his name. Undulating waves washed over her. She felt the contractions beginning again. Too powerful. Too deep. Too fast. She felt as if she'd tumbled into a freefall. All the while he stroked her with the wet heat of his tongue. Long, deep strokes that jumbled her mind and drove her to the razor's edge of pleasure.

The orgasm crashed over her like a tidal wave obliterating everything in its path. Alison cried out his name again and again. She felt him shift slightly away, but she couldn't bear not having him close. She reached for him. His arms went around her, and he held her tightly.

“I need you inside me,” she whispered. “Now.”

He trembled as he moved over her. But when he took her face in his hands, his kiss was shatteringly gentle. He kissed her mouth. Her temple. Her chin. “Open to me,” he said.

Drinking in his kisses, Alison relaxed. He moved between her knees and entered her with devastating slowness. There was a moment of discomfort as he
filled her, and then a hot burst of ecstasy when he began to move within her. He stroked her with long, steady strokes that sent brilliant streaks of pleasure through her body. The power of it wrenched an animal sound from somewhere deep inside her. It was as if her senses had overloaded and were shorting out one by one. Her brain couldn't process the onslaught of sensation. She tried to focus, but the room dipped and spun as all the blood seemed to leave her head.

Vaguely she was aware of him speaking to her. Kissing her. Stroking her. Filling her. Touching her heart with his. It was too much to comprehend and yet it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

“Alison...Alison...”

The rush of blood through her veins drowned out his voice. But it didn't matter. Alison didn't need words to know what he was feeling, because she was feeling the same thing. They were one in every sense. She could feel him moving within her, his arms trembling, his body as taut as a wire. She gazed into his eyes, realized they had gone dark with passion and were focused on her with an intensity that left her breathless. It struck her that no one had ever looked at her the way Drew was at that moment. As if his entire world revolved around her, and this most intimate of moments they shared.

“Alison...” Jaw clenched tightly, he quickened his tempo, emotion starkly visible on his face. She could feel the pulse of that emotion moving through him and into her. She could feel it in the way he trembled against her. Hear it in the way he spoke her name. In the way tears of joy built behind her eyes.

She began to move with him, opening wide and lifting her hips to meet him, straining to take more of him
inside her. She could hear the ragged cadence of her breathing, feel her lungs straining for air. Sweat slicked their bodies, but it wasn't enough to douse the fire burning between them. Pleasure pounded through her until she thought she would shatter. But he didn't slow, he didn't give her a reprieve.

Saying her name over and over, he filled her and stroked her and the pleasure became a starburst in her brain. He was inside her body. Inside her head. Inside her heart. Oh, her heart was shattering.

Overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through her, and the emotions pounding through her, she pressed her face against his shoulder. “I love you,” she whispered. “Drew, I love you.”