Unbelievable (14 page)

He shook his head and his gaze held hers, not letting her look away. “Don’t think of it like that. What happened today was incredible.
You
were incredible. So, it’s not about me helping you. It’s about me as a man wanting you as a woman. And finding a comfortable way for us to come together.”

She wanted to believe him. But in her heart she knew a man like Sebastian would never have been here with her in the first place if the circumstances hadn’t dictated it. And once the vacation was over, she didn’t know what would happen. She felt almost desperate at the thought of never seeing him again.

“I wish…I wish things could be normal between us. I wish I could give you as much as you’ve given me.”

In one abrupt motion, Sebastian stood and pulled her to her feet. Startled, Brandi asked, “What are you doing?”

“I think it’s time for us to go. I have some explaining to do, and a crowded restaurant isn’t the place.”

She went willingly as he pulled her out into the night air. It hadn’t rained any more, but the air was still thick with moisture, oppressive and heavy with the threat of another storm. Once inside the rental car, he turned to her and hauled her up against his chest.

Only vague moonlight spilled through the windows, leaving the interior of the car very dim. Brandi felt his hands tangling in her hair, pulling her even closer, and then his wonderful mouth covered hers and kissed her for long minutes.

He tasted hot and urgent. When she opened her mouth, his tongue pushed in, stroking and mating with her own. It was a familiar caress now. Many times while they’d been joined on the bed, Sebastian had demanded a kiss or a touch. She’d leaned over him, willing to obey him even though he’d been restrained. She’d let him excite her with his mouth, and kissing him now excited her again.

His lips moved over her cheek, her temple, then her ear. “You’re making me crazy, honey.”

She thrilled at the feel of his warm breath in her ear, the roughness of his shadowed jaw and his use of endearments. They were a first for her, and she felt special each time he referred to her in such a way. “I’m sorry.”

He groaned. “No, don’t be. I like your unique brand of torment.” He leaned back and gazed at her, his eyes hot in the dim light, his breathing audible. “I also like being tied down and tormented by you.”

Brandi found it difficult to breathe with him looking at her so intently. “I didn’t mean to torment you.”

“God help me if you ever do mean it.”

She saw the flash of his white grin, then he kissed her again, hard and hungry. His kisses, no matter how voracious, no longer frightened her.

“Men have fantasies just as women do,” he whispered against her lips. “And I can safely say just about every male alive has fantasized being tied and helpless at the hands of a beautiful woman bent on sexual exploration. You didn’t hurt me, you pleasured me, almost more than I could bear. Just thinking about it now is making me hard as granite.”

Fascinated, Brandi remained stock-still while he kissed her once more. Her brain worked and when he lifted his mouth away, she asked, “What are your other fantasies?”

“Ah, curious, are we?”

“Yes.” She felt no embarrassment, not when he discussed things so openly and without shame. The heat of their bodies had caused the windows to steam up, and even if someone happened by, they were well hidden.

In a low gravelly tone, Sebastian said, “Some fantasies are purely sexual and damn basic.” He named a few,
and she knew her eyes were round with disbelief. She just hadn’t ever imagined such things. Sebastian stroked her while he spoke, occasionally licking the sensitive spot beneath her ear, nipping her throat. His voice was deep and husky and aroused.

“Others are based more on emotion. Like being the protector of a woman, having her depend entirely on me for everything, including her pleasure.”

“You’d like that?”

“Damn right.”

“I thought men these days wanted independent women.”

Sebastian chuckled. He kept kissing her, as if he couldn’t help himself. They were quick, light kisses over her face, her hair, her throat and ears that teased and distracted.

“We’re talking fantasies, Brandi, not real life. To the outside world, I wouldn’t settle for anything less than an intelligent woman with a mind of her own. But in the bedroom, it’s different. For both men and women. There, everyone has to find their own limits and explore different depths. There’s no right or wrong. Only the truth of what turns them on. They have to be open and share their secrets to know what those truths are. We’ve done that, you know. And it was damn good.”

“What other fantasies do you have?”

His big hand cupped her cheek and his thumb smoothed over her temple. “As much as I enjoyed being tied up, the thought of having a woman tied to my bed appeals a hell of a lot, too.”

“I could never do that.”

“And I’d never ask it of you. Fantasies are something
given, not taken. If you didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t, either.”

Despite his reassurance, the panic was still there. She started to speak, but no words would come to her.

“Shhh. It’s all right, babe. I wasn’t suggesting it as an alternative. You asked and I answered. That’s the thing about fantasies. They vary from person to person. So they don’t always get met. But there are no bad fantasies, not between two consenting adults. Not between us.”

She buried her face against his throat, feeling the heat in her cheeks—and in her body. Somehow, in some distant part of herself, the thought of being at this man’s mercy had given her a tiny, forbidden thrill. She still wouldn’t do it, because along with the thrill was the fear of being used and hurt. But she acknowledged the idea just the same.

“What about you, Brandi? Do you have any fantasies?”

She shook her head. She’d never given sex much thought one way or the other—except to know she wanted to avoid it. “I don’t think so.”

“We’ll find some fantasies for you. We still have three days left to work on it,” he promised in a husky voice, and excitement filled her. Sebastian kissed her again, then turned and started the car. “We better get moving if I’m going to find a pharmacy that’s open.”

“Why are we going to a pharmacy?”

“I need to buy more condoms.”

“Oh.” That stifled her, but only for a moment. “I thought you said you just wanted to sleep with me tonight.”

As he pulled the car away from the curb, he flashed her a boyish grin. “I do. Afterward.”

Brandi kept silent, but on the inside,
she
was grinning, too.

L
YING ON TOP OF
Sebastian, feeling his wide chest heave with labored breaths, feeling the heat of his body waft around her, was something to which she’d quickly grown accustomed. His large hand still held her backside, massaging and squeezing. The man seemed to love her behind. She’d learned that he had a special fondness for that part of the female anatomy.

Brandi had a special fondness for him.

It hadn’t taken him long to breach her reserves. After that first night of sleeping together, when she had slept more peacefully than she had in years, Brandi hadn’t wanted to use her own room at all. Sebastian was always so careful of her, letting her have a dominant position in their lovemaking. They’d done away with the tethers after that one time. Though the ties still lay on the nightstand beside the bed, Sebastian hadn’t mentioned using them, so Brandi hadn’t, either.

She no longer needed the security of physical binding, not when she trusted him so completely.

After the night of dancing, he’d taken her back to the cabin and begun kissing her as soon as they’d closed the front door. He’d carefully aroused her to where she couldn’t see straight, then carried her to the
bedroom where he arranged her over his big body and drove inside her.

The added stimulants of his hands and mouth being everywhere had been more than enough to chase away her fears. He never crowded her in bed, always putting Brandi on top. Like a puppet, she moved as he directed, trusting him to know what she would like, what would bring her pleasure. He never failed her.

More often than not, they slept that way afterward, her on top, his arms locked around her keeping her close.

Brandi knew her time with him was something she’d cherish forever, but she’d done the most ridiculous thing—she’d fallen in love with him. Five days ago she would have said a man like Sebastian didn’t exist. Now, on their last day at the cabin, she had to admit that a man like him did exist, he just wasn’t for her.

Sebastian stirred and she felt him lift his head to gently nip her shoulder. “What time is it?”

Brandi forced her eyes open to see the clock on the nightstand. “Four-thirty.”

“You should get to sleep. We’ll have to start packing up in a few hours.”

His voice sounded gruff, and she wanted to cry. The past five days had been magical. They’d both been changed by the trip to some degree. She and Sebastian had gone shopping, where he’d helped her buy more gifts for everyone—and even a few souvenirs for himself. He didn’t seem to mind so much now when he purchased something. He even seemed enthusiastic about it on occasion. Ice-cream cones, Ferris wheel rides, even having his fortune read. Small things, but
they gave him enjoyment, and Brandi loved to see him relaxed and happy.

He’d volunteered to help her wrap all the gifts. They’d spent one entire rainy day in the cabin doing just that, then making love afterward in front of the fireplace.

He’d also given her everything she’d missed out on when growing up. He’d taken her parking to show her the dubious joys of making out in a car, and they’d laughed as much as they’d loved, especially when another car had come by and made them both think they’d been caught. He’d brought her wildflowers that now decorated the kitchen table in the cabin. Twice he’d carried her a tray so she could have her breakfast in bed. He’d pampered her and seduced her and wooed her. She loved him for it.

When the nightmare had come again two nights ago, he’d held her close while she struggled with her demons, and he listened while she talked. He hadn’t made love to her then, he’d simply let her sleep in his arms. The nightmare had faded away quickly. Soothed by the rhythm of his heartbeat and the security of his touch, Brandi had to wonder if it would ever come again.

They both knew this was their last night, and Brandi clung to him for a moment. Sebastian’s hands stilled, then he whispered, “Are you all right?”

“Hmm. I’m just not sleepy.”

“Well…” He had that husky tone to his voice that told her he was aroused again. He amazed her with his stamina and his interest. She’d never before thought of herself as a sexual being, but with Sebastian she felt insatiable.

Rising up on her forearms she put her breasts within reach of him. He clasped her waist and moved her upward a bit more until he could carefully catch a nipple between his teeth. Brandi moaned.

“You have the most sensitive breasts.”

“So you keep telling me.”

“That’s because it turns me on so much.”

She was grateful that she could give him pleasure, because he’d certainly given it to her. Cupping his cheeks, she pulled him away from her breast and looked at him seriously. “I’d like to make you happy, Sebastian. This is our last night together.”

He frowned, then caught her mouth in a ravenous kiss before saying, “I don’t want to think about that right now.”

She slid to the side of him, then surveyed his long body. With one finger trailing over his chest to his left nipple, she said, “What can I do for you?”

“Brandi…”

She loved his warning tone, the one that told her he liked very much what she was doing. She flicked his nipple, heard him hiss a breath past his teeth, then moved her hand down to his erection. “This part of your body fascinates me.”

In rasping tones he admitted, “Your fascination drives me insane.”

Brandi chuckled. Sebastian went still, not moving a muscle, and she hated that she caused him to do that, that he had to restrain himself now as much as the bonds ever had. Leaning down, she kissed his rigid stomach muscles, then dipped her tongue into his navel. He groaned brokenly.

“Do you know what I’d like to do?”

The groan turned into a choke. “I know what I’d like you to do.”

“I’d like to go the lake.”

Sebastian gave a raw laugh. “Aw, babe. You do know how to destroy a man, don’t you?”

Brandi pretended not to hear him. She knew what he wanted, and so far she hadn’t been daring enough to give it to him. But he’d sparked her curiosity, and she knew this might be her last chance to know all of him.

“I’d like to go to the lake and wrap up in a blanket with you. We could watch the stars and listen to the crickets and…make love.”

His fingertips trailed up and down her spine. “Is this one of your fantasies, honey?”

“Yes, I think it is.”

Sebastian had encouraged her to think of any fantasy she wanted, anything that appealed to her. And he’d made each and every one of them come true. But what he didn’t understand was that the fantasies were all about him, not about time or place or position. Certainly not about any other person. And Brandi couldn’t tell him, because she knew even though her fears seemed to have been put on hold, it was only because Sebastian was so careful with her.

He was a man, and how long would it be before the enforced caution bored him? Or worse, before he became annoyed with her and the restrictions? He deserved a woman as alive and open as himself, a woman unafraid to share herself in every way.

Not a woman with hang-ups that would eventually drive them apart.

Sebastian sat up and pulled Brandi into his lap. He nuzzled his whisker-rough cheek against her own soft cheek. “I can arrange this one, no problem. But are you sure you won’t get cold?”

Sebastian seemed impervious to the chills that often affected her. She could be freezing, and he’d be comfortable. As he’d told her in the beginning, his body temperature was degrees higher than hers. She’d count on that temperature—and her own excitement—to keep her comfortable.

“It’s been warm all day. I’ll be fine. Let’s just take some blankets. I want to stay to watch the sun come up.”

The small lake was located close to their cabin. They’d been there several times while exploring, taking long walks and picking flowers and watching the occasional rabbit or squirrel. After that one night when Sebastian had spent a small fortune, Brandi tried to make certain they stayed close to the cabin. When they did go out—during her second shopping spree—she’d requested lunch at an inexpensive diner. Sebastian seemed to think she was accustomed to more luxury than she was. Like him, she lived a simple life, especially compared to Shay. The one picnic lunch they’d had at the lake had been her favorite meal of all. There just wasn’t any way to convince Sebastian of that. He seemed intent on spoiling her, when it wasn’t necessary at all.

Sebastian didn’t complain as he pulled on jeans and a T-shirt, then gathered up quilts. Brandi put on her robe, tying the belt securely, but leaving herself naked beneath. If this was to be her last night with Sebastian, she intended to make the most of it. She could sleep anytime.

Sebastian was patient with her while she led the way
to the lake. He even waited silently, his wide shoulders propped against a tree, while she took her time choosing a spot to spread the largest quilt. But when she untied the belt to her robe, he straightened.

“Brandi?”

The robe slid to the ground, leaving her naked in the pale moonlight. She’d never before so blatantly exposed herself for his view. Shyness had prevented her from being so bold, just as desperation now forced her to it. If this was to be her last night with him, she wanted everything, with no barriers between them.

There was no doubt he liked it. His gaze traveled over her in the shadows of the night, and she heard his low groan. Typical of Sebastian, though, he didn’t move; he waited for her to direct him. Not once had he taken the control from her, which was probably why she’d been able to let loose as much as she had.

“Come here, Sebastian.”

He kicked off his shoes and stepped into the center of the quilt with her. When he reached for her, Brandi took his hands, kissed each palm and then put them back at his sides. “Take your shirt off for me.”

The shirt went over his head in record time. Brandi took it from him and laid it by her robe. She would have liked to completely undress him herself, but he was too tall for her to pull his shirt off. That was, however, the only concession she was willing to make. His jeans were very reachable.

She slid her cool fingers over the hard, heated skin of his abdomen, then under the first button of his fly. A soft breeze blew around them, bringing with it the scent of the lake, the azaleas and the dew-wet grass. The air
was silent except for the rustle of leaves and their mingled breaths.

The first button slipped free. Brandi dropped to her knees and kissed the small patch of hair-rough skin she’d exposed. Sebastian sucked in his stomach on a startled breath.

The next button was a little more stubborn, but then the third and forth came undone with no difficulty. Sebastian hadn’t bothered with briefs, and she could now circle the hot, hard length of his shaft with her hands. Brandi nuzzled his erection against her cheek.

His hand touched her head, then fell away. “Brandi,” he groaned. “Honey, you’re killing me.”

She began working the jeans down his thighs to his knees. Her mouth trailed in the wake of her fingers, drifting over his inner thigh. “I love how you smell, Sebastian.”

His hands hung in fists at his sides. In a strangled rasp, he asked, “How do I smell?”

“Warm and musky. Sexy. Very male.”

“Brandi, why don’t we lie down now?”

“No. Not yet.” She wanted this night to be special to him, and she wanted it to be enough to carry her for the rest of her life. There would never be another man like Sebastian. He’d given her back herself, shown her how to be a woman again. But she’d never be woman enough to keep him happy. Though she loved him, he deserved so much more than she could give.

The thought caused her heart to ache, but she banished reality by leaning forward and drawing him deep into her mouth.

Sebastian cursed and groaned and for one instant, his
hand tangled almost painfully in her hair. Brandi started to pull back, fearing he’d lost control, but he released her and locked his hands behind his neck.

“Sebastian?”

He panted. “Sweetheart, what you’re doing… I like it very much.”

Brandi licked her lips, still tasting him. “If I do it wrong…”

He laughed, a hoarse sound of disbelief. “There is no wrong way, babe. Not between me and you. Just please don’t quit on me.”

“No. I won’t do that.” Then she leaned forward. “Do you like this?” She licked the very tip of him and heard him gasp. “And this?” Her mouth slid slowly down the length of him until she couldn’t take any more into her mouth. Sebastian’s only answer was a broken moan.

She realized there was another fantasy she wanted to fulfill, and she went about working toward that end. She knew her movements were awkward, but he didn’t complain. Far from it. He begged and cursed and praised. And finally, after his entire body had started to tremble in taut expectation, he pulled away from her and quickly kicked free of his jeans.

“Sebastian?”

Swearing, he knelt down and dug in his pocket until he found a condom, but his hands shook too badly to put it on, and Brandi took it from him. She hadn’t finished what she’d started, but she wanted him too much to quibble. Deftly sliding the condom over his swollen member, she reacted to his urgency. Sebastian heaved beside her, and his hands were hard as they grabbed her around the waist and lifted her onto his lap.
He drove into her with one smooth, powerful thrust, and came almost simultaneously. Brandi was so excited herself, knowing she’d driven him to such a degree of desire, she only had to continue to move on him a half minute before she, too, exploded, then slumped against his chest.

Long minutes passed in silence while they held each other, and Brandi wondered if Sebastian, too, was already feeling the loss. She didn’t want to go back, but she knew it was inevitable. She had a job and a family. He had his work and his house.

She’d never get to see his house, she realized. In her mind, she’d pictured it, how it would look, how it might be improved even more with a woman’s touch. Only she would never be that woman.

Surely they would run into each other again. After all, he was a friend of Shay’s, helped her with the shelter, and Brandi spent much of her time with Shay working on getting donations and assistance for the shelter.