Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (84 page)

Here’s something special worth arriving early to take your kids to see. During every home game White Sox training center coaches conduct a baseball clinic for kids—and it’s free! After their lessons, kids hone their skills in batting cages and on practice pitcher’s mounds. Why-oh-why didn’t they have this when we were young? Josh tried to convince the attendant he was thirteen, and the guy almost bought it, until Josh went into a rant about “kids today” throwing too many curveballs in Little League. He was subsequently ejected from FUNdamentals. Anyway, to get to FUNdamentals, enter U.S. Cellular Field at Gate 3, or ask a Guest Services Representative for directions if you’re already inside the park.

The Sox used to use the concrete between decks as a place to honor players whose numbers they had retired. But after installing the now somewhat obligatory “ribbon LED screens” in that location, ownership moved the retired numbers to the outfield wall. The team has also erected statues on the outfield concourse to honor most all of its greats, but for some reason not Ted Lyons. In the order they were retired, the numbers are 4 for Luke Appling, the Sox all-time leader in hits, runs, walks, at bats and games; 2 for Nellie Fox, a twelve-time All-Star; 9 for Minnie Minoso, the only Major Leaguer to play in five different decades; 11 for Luis Aparicio, a ten-time All-Star and nine-time Gold Glove winner; 16 for Ted Lyons, a 260-game winner; 19 for Billy Pierce, a seven-time All-Star; 3 for Harold Baines, who played for the Sox on three separate tours and had to have his number taken down upon returning the third time; 42 for Jackie Robinson, whose number is universally retired; 72 for Carlton Fisk, who spent thirteen seasons behind the plate for the White Sox and held the record for games caught by a catcher until Ivan Rodriguez passed him in 2009; and 35 for “the Big Hurt,” Frank Thomas, perhaps the greatest steroid-free hitter of his generation.

The White Sox Hall of Fame is located behind home plate on the first level. Actually, it’s located inside the ballpark gift shop. The hall is small but impressive. We enjoyed the pictures of old Comiskey and Schorling’s Park and the autographed team balls going back all the way to the 1940s. There’s a great memorial to the first All-Star Game, dubbed the “Game of the Century.” There’s something for every Sox fan, old and new here, including baseball cards featuring such White Sox as Fisk, Eddie Farmer, Jorge Orta, and Baines.

Inside the gift shop portion of the area you’ll find the actual lockers from the old park, from such players as Robin Ventura, Thomas, Fisk, Guillen, and others, with bats and other equipment inside them. Also in the shop you’ll find the original showerhead that Bill Veeck installed on the center-field concourse of the old park.

The batter’s eye in center field was renovated and transformed into a multi-tiered, ivy-covered terrace to give hitters a green background. The top level now features a semi-transparent screen. The patio behind the batter’s eye has picnic tables and chairs and is a large area where fans can sit and enjoy their meals while they watch the game through the mesh.

Originally there was a ball-return screen behind home plate that ran back to the press box and blocked much of the view for fans in Sections 130–134. A new vertical screen has been installed that is much less distracting to fans and allows for more souvenirs.

Behind Section 158, murals honor famous White Sox players. We found it odd that there is a portrait of the infamous 1919 team here. Really odd. A picture of Eddie Cicotte and Joe Jackson highlights the display, and there is a team picture in the center. These are very cool photos, but didn’t these guys throw the World Series for cash? On the other hand, let’s not forget Grinder Rule #46: “Respect the past, people that are shoeless, and anyone named Joe.”

The idea for an exploding scoreboard was one of Bill Veeck’s most commendable strokes of genius. Fortunately, the White Sox brought over the full effect from the old park. Though today’s scoreboard is in fact a new one, its festive rolling pinwheels and fireworks are similar to those that lit up the Chicago night for years whenever a Sox player homered. We watched an Alex Rios dinger set the scoreboard ablaze, and though we’re not usually ones to wax rhapsodic about a
bunch of lights (we think scoreboards are for keeping score) we thought the exploding board was really something to see. It adds a spectacular and heroic, Roy Hobbs–type aspect to the show.

Perhaps to offset the scoreboard in center that explodes, Sox management added an old-time out-of-town scoreboard in right field. This LED board offers continually updated information on games, including diamonds for base-runners, as well as numbers that inform who is currently pitching and hitting. The left-field scoreboard offers information in a more traditional fashion, listing score, balls, strikes, and outs. But we suppose it’s not too old-school if it uses LED technology.

Behind sections 100, 105, and 164 on the center-field concourse, the team has erected life-sized statues of great White Sox. Stroll out here and take in bronzed Mr. Comiskey, Minnie Minoso, Carlton Fisk, Luis Aparicio, Nellie Fox, Harold Baines, Billy Pierce, and Frank Thomas. We’re not usually big fans of putting up a legion of heroes in bronze or stone, simply because with each one you erect, you somewhat diminish those already bronzed. The Romans reserved this honor only for the elite. However, looking over these statues and their stats, we couldn’t think of a compelling reason not to include all of these greats. For the record, if you count Geoff Blum, Joe Crede, Orlando Hernandez, Paul Konerko, and Juan Uribe, who are honored in bronze on the 2005 Champions sculpture, there are thirteen individuals honored in bronze at The Cell.

Although The Cell has since undergone a reseating, two seats were kept from the original batch of blue chairs that filled the new park. They mark the landing spots of Konerko’s left-field homer and Podsednik’s right-center-field dinger, which both came in Game 2 of the 2005 World Series.

Sure enough, there is an outdoor shower on the left-field concourse behind Section 158. The showerhead is sponsored by the plumbing council of Chicago and is a replica of the one installed at Comiskey under Veeck. If a cold shower isn’t enough to cool you off on those Dog Days of August, there is also a Rain Room behind Sections 107 and 537. It’s a misting station that provides for those poor souls whose sweat glands can’t kick into overdrive.

Also brought over from the old park is the Pet Check area behind Section 157, in case Buster can’t bear to be left home alone. Remember, only bring your pet on special pet days. Sweet Fancy (John) Moses, what has happened to this game we love?

The food offerings at U.S. Cellular Field have gone from good to great, and because many of the places to go out in the neighborhood are quite a walk, finding quality eats inside is important. Here you’ll find Chinese, Mexican, German, and Cuban food offerings that you will enjoy. Oh, and this being a very special pizza city, you’ll find some top-notch ballpark pie too.

We refuse to eat a dog in any ballpark or stadium that has a pet-check area! Just kidding, U.S. Cellular features a very tasty Vienna Beef dog. But like most other ballpark dogs, it’s just too expensive. Why not try Morrie O’Malley’s, which offers way more toppings and sells its dogs at half the price of the ones inside the ballpark. So if you’re going for value, this might be one ballpark treat you’ll want to pick up on the way to the ballpark, rather than once you arrive. If you need to have a frank in your stadium seat, you’ll find the Sox Dog will hit the spot too, though.

In 2011 the White Sox bid adieu to longtime ballpark staple Connie’s pizza and replaced it with DiGiorno. It’s still one of the best things going inside the park, but it ain’t quite what it used to be.

The
Cuban sandwich
is worth sampling. The one we tasted had freshly grilled ham, Barbacoa, melted Swiss and pickles. It was delicious. Speaking of Barbacoa, the
nachos
that come topped with the spicy meat are pretty darned good too.

Chico Carrasquel’s
dogs and Polish sausages remain a tasty option. We like how all these stands are named for players. One of our big discoveries the first time around was the
chicken dinner.
Good chicken at the ballpark is a pleasant surprise. Another strong choice are the
bao
from the Wow Bow stand on the left side of the main concourse. Bao are hot buns filled with meat and vegetables that you can carry around and eat easily.

We also must mention the surprisingly tasty
corn off the cob.
It may sound odd, but a woman slices the corn off the cob right in front of you, then mixes it with whatever you’d like—butter, sour cream, mayonnaise, garlic, cheese, lime, or chili. Perhaps it tasted so delicious because we had been eating processed meat exclusively for ten straight days. Or perhaps it was really sweet corn. But in any case, we rate the corn as delicious as it is distinctive.

We also liked the
Brats
and
steak sandwiches
at Lollar’s “Guard the Plate” Grill behind Section 524. Hey, if you’re going to endure a game upstairs, you might as well pig out.

If you have kids or immature eating habits, head for Kids Korner, behind Section 100. Alongside the play area and kid-size gift shop, you’ll find the sure-fire, always-a-hit-with-every-kid-in America meal, good old-fashioned
PBJs
(if you were born in Russia, these are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches). If you have peanut allergies, well then, we really don’t think you’re a Russian. Actually, you have our sympathies.

The enchiladas may have been better than we expected, but our expectations were awfully low. Best to save your appetite for these for when you’re in the Southwest.

The Beers of the Midwest stand is one disappointment we can point to in the gastro offerings at The Cell. First, all those great Midwestern beer brands like Pabst Blue Ribbon and Schlitz went national a long time ago, right? So what are we left with, overpriced microbrews that really aren’t that great. When in Chicago, Old Style is our drink of choice. Sure, it tastes like the dog’s breakfast, but after you down a couple, you hardly even wince any more. Or if it’s a hot and sticky Chicago night, why not try a cool margarita? José Cuervo himself will come by with a barrel of tequila strapped to his back and a hose in his hand that will deliver you a margarita. Okay, it’s not really Mr. Cuervo, but the margaritas are cold and delicious.

Games on the South Side have become quite intense since the Sox have been winning ballgames. There’s a level of energy at the game now that puts a focus on the importance of each play. Sox fans attending games these days want to win. Everything else is nice, but secondary. In many ways, it seems the opposite of cross-town Wrigley, where the emphasis is on the experience of being there. Make no mistake, Sox fans are intensely on edge until their team wins. Only then do they return to their “normal” non-Sox obsessed selves, if only for a few hours until they start thinking about the next game.

Just like every other team, White Sox fans come in all varieties. What we found on the South Side was something rather special: good old-fashioned working-class folks who are there to see the game. They’re knowledgeable about their team and the sport in general, and like the team that represents them, they’re gritty and tough-minded, but with a Midwestern friendliness and civility that we appreciate. Sox fans are straight shooters. They’re full of humor and jokes without coming off as too cocky. They’ll tell you to your face that they’re going to beat you 10-0, then they’ll buy you a beer once they do.