Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (43 page)

Kevin:
Life was simpler when all “catwalk” meant was a strip-club runway.

Josh:
I prefer O-Rings.

Kevin:
How’s that?

Josh:
You know: onion rings. Not enough parks have ’em.

Kevin:
Well, they do have a Blooming Onion here at the Trop.

Josh:
Not the same.

Kevin:
Pretty close.

Josh:
Don’t question me on deep fried delicacies.

Head to Section 144 in right field to find where Wade Boggs’ three thousandth hit landed in 1999. After becoming the first player to enter the three-thousand-hit club with a homer, Boggs got down on all fours and kissed home plate. Boggs didn’t maintain the distinction of being the only player to go long for his tri-millennial for too long. Derek Jeter followed suit when he recorded his three thousandth against the Rays’ David Price at Yankee Stadium in 2011. Just the same, Boggs’ golden seat is located amidst a sea of blue chairs in Row B of Section 144. Boggs’ retired No. 12 and Jackie Robinson’s universally retired No. 42 hang beside the scoreboard in center.

Wrapping around much of the first level beneath the stands, a large mural depicts an old-time ballpark with wooden bleachers where fans watch a game. Riding the escalator from the lower to upper level, we spotted Abbott and Costello in the crowd, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, and other celebs.

Josh:
Do you think Abbott and Costello really would have watched a game indoors?

Kevin:
Yes. They hated humidity.

The thirty-five-foot long, ten-thousand-gallon tank beyond the Trop’s right-center-field wall is truly a one-of-a-kind ballpark attraction. Here, fans are encouraged to reach down into the water and grope the fish, which are, as the tank’s name implies, cownose rays. On some days, fans are even allowed to drop squid into the water to watch the rays feed. And should a batted ball splash down into the water, the Rays make a $2,500 donation to the Florida Aquarium and another $2,500 to a charity of the homering player’s choice.

Josh:
Roll up those sleeves. It’s time to have some fun.

Kevin:
There’s no way I’m sticking my hands in there.

Josh:
Didn’t you once work at the zoo?

Kevin:
Exactly. One of these babies took down the Crocodile Hunter.

www.tedwilliamsmuseum.com/

In 2006 the museum that had occupied much of the Splendid Splinter’s time in his later years moved from Hernando, Florida, to the Trop. Williams was born in San Diego and spent his entire playing career in Boston, but he always had a special place in his heart for the Sunshine State, which he made his home upon retirement. Not only is the museum at the Trop full of baseball memorabilia, such as Ted’s first professional contract, but it also includes stuffed fish that Ted caught in the Florida Keys. Check out the 150-pound
tarpon he once landed on fly fishing equipment, the thirty-one-pound permit he caught on live bait, and the gnarly bonefish he caught. Ted’s rifle and golf clubs are on display too. The centerpiece of the museum is the Hitters Hall of Fame, which honors the best batsmen of all time (including Cooperstown ineligibles Pete Rose and Joe Jackson). The Museum is free to visit on game days and can be accessed on the right side of the entry rotunda.

The Rays offer a wide array of tasty treats. Two food courts on the first level house vendors from the community while there are three different lounge areas open to ticket holders. The Trop features an unusually high number of chain offerings too, including Outback, Checkers, Papa John’s, and Carvel stands.

Tropicana Field’s signature offering lives up to the region’s high expectations as far as Cuban fare is concerned. Two slices of grilled bread come stuffed with spiced ham, pork, salami, Swiss cheese, and pickles. We especially like the fact that you can order a “double” for only a few bucks more, rather than having to pay double the price.

Josh:
We’re splitting those, right?

Kevin:
Order your own.

After we gave the dome dog a lukewarm review in this book’s first edition, the wise folks in St. Pete took note and replaced the old dogs with all-beef Kayem franks. To this we say, “Good call.” We especially recommend the foot-long dog and the “Heater,” which comes loaded with chili and cheese.

The
Mahi-Mahi Fish Taco
is another Tampa Bay specialty, though Josh couldn’t help but think it was a sacrilege to eat fish in the land of Rays.

Kevin:
You ate fried chicken in Baltimore. The oriole’s a bird just like the chicken is.

Josh:
That’s different.

Kevin:
How so?

Josh:
Chicken ain’t fish.

Another Trop specialty is its
Po’ Boy Sandwiches.
These messy creole-inspired subs trace their roots to N’ Orleans, but the folks in St. Pete do a pretty good job with them. There are two varieties: one featuring grilled shrimp and another featuring
Andouille. Both come topped with spicy slaw. We found the
Cajun Fries
were a nice complement. We also recommend the
hand-cut fries
at the first base food court. The other Trop options or “Troptions,” to use a term Josh coined while we were in town, include the
Grouper Sandwiches,
the exceptional Everglades Barbecue
pulled pork
and BBQ Pork Nachos, and the
Black Beans and Rice.
At the
Wings Around The World
stand in center, patrons can order boneless wings in a variety of tasty sauces, including buffalo, Cajun, sweet red chili, and golden barbecue.

Raymond’s Little Leaguers, a kiddy concession area in right field, offers junior-sized portions at reduced prices and special items like
Grilled Cheese
and
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches.

In addition to the group party areas by the bullpens in left and right, the Trop offers three bars that anyone can visit during the game.

Everglades Barbecue
in dead center has tinted windows to create the dark backdrop required by today’s hitters. Seating is available on a first-come first-served basis and the menu features pulled pork that’s smoked on site each day in a five-hundred-pound smoker. This is the same pulled pork that appears on sandwiches and atop BBQ nachos at concession counters throughout the park, but it’s a little bit fresher inside the batter’s eye. Arrive early and you can stake out a spot near the window and stay as long as you’d like. This is a smart play if you bought cheapie upper level seats.

The
Cuesta-Rey Cigar Bar
is located on the upper-level concourse behind the Batter’s Eye. This is the only cigar bar in the bigs, so do spark up. While it doesn’t offer a view of the game, the Cuesta-Rey provides comfy leather couches and plenty of ashtrays. The stogies range from high-end sticks to cheapies.

The
Center Field Street Brewhouse
is on the first-level concourse. Inside, it has the feel of a real sports bar, with a classy wooden counter and multiple TVs mounted overhead showing games from around the league. Unfortunately there’s no view of the live action just outside (well, “inside” technically). The good news is that the House stays open until an hour after the game, and it’s the site of the local pregame and postgame radio show broadcasts.

Ti Dave’s Po’ Boy Stand sells Louisiana’s Abita Beer, while the Cuban stands en el parque vende Cerveza Presidente.

Josh:
Take that, Senor Bonczeck.

Kevin:
Who’s Senor Bonczeck?

Josh:
He was my tenth grade Spanish teacher.

Kevin:
En español, Josué, por favor.

Visiting the Trop, we got the distinct impression that Rays fans are slowly working their way toward establishing a collective identity. But they’re not in any rush to do so. This was evident in the crowd’s intermittent enthusiasm. When the Rays had men on base, the fans seemed to take notice and get involved. But when there was a lull in the action, their attention seemed to drift. The fact that there were more Red Sox fans in attendance during the series we saw than Rays fans probably didn’t help. The hometown crowd was often drowned out by cheers for the visitors. That said, we should mention that whether there are thirty thousand fans inside the Trop or fifteen thousand, the joint can be quite loud as a result of a blaring P.A. system that is as tireless as it is loud. Kevin likened the experience of watching a game at the Trop to being trapped inside a giant pinball machine.

There is a large interactive area on the left-field concourse where fans can pose to have their picture turned into a Topps baseball card, can participate in the making of a personalized Louisville Slugger bat, can record an inning of play-by-play, and can play video games (old school Atari and Nintendo games are included along with newer ones). But our favorite part of this play area was the replica stickball alley where Josh struck out Kevin on three pitches.

Kevin:
If I hadn’t eaten that Double Cuban I would have taken you deep.

Josh:
That’ll teach you to share next time.

In right field, meanwhile, a family-friendly area caters to the entertainment fancies of younger fans. The boardwalk style attractions include a variety of games for rookies, including spin the wheel, skee ball, plinko and ring-the-bat.

We don’t pretend to be marine biologists (as George Costanza once did), but the local mascot, Raymond, looks a lot more like a bloated blue manatee than a cownose ray to us. As for the Rays, they claim he’s a previously unclassified species of marine mammal that one of their scouts turned up while fishing for grouper on the Bay. We find this story
highly improbable, but then again, similar scouting sojourns led to the discoveries of many of the game’s Latin American stars, so we can’t dismiss it entirely.

Kevin:
That fellow needs to have a sit-down with Tommy Lasorda.

Josh:
The famous Dodgers manager?

Kevin:
The Slim-Fast pitch-man.

Josh:
You realize that’s just a costume, right?

Kevin:
Still, I bet the guy inside is pretty portly.

Josh:
Dude, Raymond is a girl. You can tell by the way he … I mean “she” walks.

Kevin:
I thought I saw you checking out Raymond.