Tyrell (13 page)

“Let's go kick the nigga ass then,” Cal say right away, like he ain't even have to think ‘bout it.

“She don't want me knowing who the guy is. She trying to protect me. Or him.”

I tell Cal how I'm trying to keep her safe, but she making it real hard. “She don't want me pickin' her up from school no more. Matter of fact, she actin' like she don't even want me ‘round her when she with her friends. And she be writing in her diary that she don't want me there with her when she go to college, like she wanna go somewhere for four years without me.”

Cal lean forward on the couch. “The problem is, you still ain't hitting that, you know what I mean? She don't need you ‘cause you ain't doing the right thing where it count. Now the first time she give it up to you, she ain't gonna wanna go nowhere without you. That's how you gonna get to be her man for real.”

“I am her man.”

“You keep telling yourself that, but females need you to show them that. Show her, man, then she gonna be hooked on you and things is gonna change, watch.”

I rub my eyes. Damn. Cal is making mad sense today. But the problem is, Novisha ain't gonna give me none. She told me that from jump. I knew that shit even before I broke up with Lynette, who was giving it up on the regular. But I had to have Novisha.

I mean, me and Novisha was always friends, but we ain't get real close ‘til the summer before she started eighth grade. Her pops stepped out on them in, like, May, and her moms was a mess. The man left them with nothing. And I ain't never seen Novisha madder at nobody than she was at him.

Then when her school gave her a scholarship to some Bible camp, her moms just sent her away. For six weeks. Ms. Jenkins said she needed to get herself together and all that, but Novisha was just madder then.

Me and her got real close when she got back. We would
have some deep conversations ‘bout everything, and I stopped looking at her like the little girl from Building G. Yeah, I'm older than her, but it ain't matter no more. I mean, she was always pretty and all that, but we connected that summer, and there wasn't no way I could be with Lynette no more.

My cell ring and I reach in my pocket for it. It's Novisha. Like, she musta knew I was thinking ‘bout her or something. But, to be honest, I ain't in the mood to deal with her now. And the second she hear me, she gonna know I'm high and drunk, and I don't feel like hearing shit from her. The cell keep ringing.

“Who that?” Cal ask.

“Novisha.”

“You ain't gonna talk to her?”

“Nah.”

“Take my advice, man. You start giving it to her, all your problems is over. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.”

“How you know?” The cell stop ringing and I put it back in my pocket. “You and Tina back together?”

“Yeah, man.” He put on one of them Kool-Aid smiles. “She gonna be the mother of my kid. How I'm gonna stay mad at her?”

“When she gonna drop that kid?”

“Two weeks, man. Two weeks.”

He look kinda happy, too, but that couldn't be me. I ain't trying to be no fifteen-year-old father. Shit, I got enough to worry ‘bout taking care of Troy everyday.

“Check that out,” Cal say, pointing to the TV. Two girls with the biggest asses I ever seen is dancing in some video, and they look real good. “Where they find girls like that?”

“I know a female at Bennett with a body like that. You should
see this girl.” I shake my head, thinking of Jasmine in them red panties.

“And you ain't doing nothing with her?” Cal look at me like I'm stupid.

“Nah. We just hanging out. She real nice.”

“Something wrong with you, man,” Cal say, smiling. “I don't even know you no more.”

Then, all of a sudden, the door fly open and Andre and Greg come busting in like they the police or something. I know I'm high, but I can tell by the wild look in Andre eyes that something ‘bout to go down. “Cal,” he say, “you got a minute to get up outta here. Starting now.”

Cal sit up straight on the couch. “Where I'm s'posed to go?”

“Go to Ma's.”

Cal start smiling, actin' all cool and shit, probably ‘cause I'm there. “Nah, man, I ain't going nowhere.”

“Look, I ain't playing with you. You don't need to be here.”

Cal face get a little more serious now. “Why? What up?”

“Shit ‘bout to happen. Get out ‘fore you get caught up it in.”

Cal get up off the couch. “A'ight, give me a second.” He don't ask no more questions. He just leave the room, and before I know what to think, he back in the living room with a backpack. “C'mon, Ty.”

And we out. Just like that.

It's dark when we get out in front of the building, and I'm like, “What's going on?”

He shrug. “Andre trying to keep me outta his shit ‘cause he think I'm too young and can't handle nothing.”

I can't tell if he upset or glad he don't gotta be in it.

We start walking down the path to the street and he pull out
his cell and call for a cab. “This shit making me mad,” he say when he flip his cell closed. “Andre trying to be my pops and keep me outta shit, but he ain't my pops. He don't get that.”

“Why you don't just live with your moms? Fuck Andre.”

“Yeah, I should do that. But I work here and my moms don't wanna be part of what we do. She try to act like she don't know what we gotta do to pay her rent and buy her stuff. But that's cool. She a good mother and she deserve what we doing for her.”

We stand on the corner ‘cross from the laundromat and wait for the cab. My cell ring again, but I know it's Novisha, so I don't even take it out my pocket. I keep looking down the street to Cal building, but I don't see nothing happening. There ain't hardly no people out. “What you think gonna happen tonight?” I ask.

“I hope nothing, so I can come back tomorrow. When I'm at my moms apartment, she try to treat me like a kid. She cook for me and make my bed. I can only take one or two days of that shit.”

When the cab come I'm ‘bout to tell Cal bye and walk to the train. But he get in the cab and leave the door open for me, and I hear him tell the driver that there gonna be two stops. So I get in and tell Cal that it's probably gonna cost ‘bout $20 to go all the way to Hunts Point.

“Twenty ain't shit,” he say. “I make that in, like, three minutes.”

When I get back to Bennett I'm real tired and miserable, and I just wanna get in bed and sleep the weed and beer off. But Troy is ‘sleep on one bed, all spread out and shit, and my moms is sitting on the other with her arms folded like she mad at me or something. “Where was you all this time?” she ask me. “You don't think your brother wanna see you when he get home from school?”

Damn. I gotta come back to this kinda attitude? “I was with Cal. We working on the party.”

“Well, you got responsibilities here too.”

“I know.” She using Troy to make me feel guilty, but I'm used to it by now, so I don't let it get to me most of the time. I sit on the end of the bed where Troy sleeping. “Look,” I tell her. “Straight up, I'ma be mad busy this week. You know how it is a couple days ‘fore a party. So you gonna hafta spend more time with Troy by yourself while I'm out making money.” I try to keep my voice calm ‘cause I don't wanna get in no argument tonight.

“You sound like your father,” she say, but I don't know if she mean it as a good thing or not. Most of the time when she tell me I'm like my pops, it ain't no compliment. It's like she looking at me, thinking I'ma end up just like him.

“A'ight then,” I say. I'm real fucked up and there ain't nothing more I wanna do but lay down and let all that shit work they way out my system. My eyes is closing and I can't hardly stop them.

“You been drinking?”

I nod.

“Thought you was planning the party.”

“I was.” I open my eyes to see if she buying any of what I'm saying, but she looking at me like she know I'm full of shit. “I was,” I say again.

She still looking at me, but I'm too tired to keep talking. I just want everything to be quiet and dark for like ten hours, but she don't stop. “I went to school and spoke to that teacher, Mrs. Morton.”

I can't hardly talk no more. “What she say?” Three words is all I can get out.

“She told me she don't think Troy need to be in special ed, that she wanna put him in one of them regular classes and see how he do.”

“That's good.”

“No, it ain't. What that bitch know ‘bout my kid? What if they put him in that regular class and he don't learn nothing or them other kids treat him bad? What then?”

I don't say nothing ‘cause I can't stand when she act so negative, putting Troy down before he even get a chance to try.

“And she told me ‘bout some kinda after-school program they
got with tutoring and art classes and karate. And she want Troy to stay for that and get help with his homework and make friends and shit.”

“How much money?”

“It cost fifty dollars a week, but she think we ain't gonna have to pay nothing ‘cause we homeless, so she gave me a application to fill out and our caseworker from the EAU gotta sign it.”

Okay, she ain't gonna stop talking so I try to focus on what she saying, so I could get this whole thing over with. “The caseworker?”

“Yeah, I called her and I got another appointment for Friday. I just hope she don't sign that application.”

I stare at her for a couple seconds. “Why not?”

“'Cause I want Troy to stay where he at. There ain't no reason to change nothing. He doing fine.”

My mind is working kinda slow, but the bullshit she saying wake it up. And now I get it. The only reason she saying all this is ‘cause if Troy ain't in special ed no more, we probably ain't gonna get them SSI checks every month.

I stand up. “I'ma be back.” Maybe if I go check up on Jasmine for a while, I won't hafta think ‘bout any of this, ‘cause it's just making me mad.

I ain't even at the door yet when my cell ring. It's Novisha again. But this time I flip it open. “Hi.”

Novisha sigh. “Ty! I've been trying to call you all night.”

“Yeah, I know. I had the cell in my backpack and I ain't hear it ring.”

“I just wanted to apologize for this afternoon. I felt so bad leaving you there like that.”

“A'ight.” I walk out to the hallway and close the door behind
me so my moms can't hear my conversation. “That all you wanna say?”

“Wow, I didn't know you were that mad,” Novisha say.

“Who said I was mad? I ain't mad.”

“I'm sorry, Ty, but I didn't know you were coming today. Do you really think I would've left you if I knew you were gonna be there?” It sound like she ‘bout to cry or something.

“Look, Novisha. You don't gotta do nothing for me, okay? You keep doing what you doing, and I'ma keep doing what I'm doing. And what I'ma do is make sure you okay. And if something ever happen to you, I'ma hafta go to jail ‘cause somebody gonna die.”

“Nothing's gonna happen to me. I'm fine.” I hear her take a deep breath. “Now, am I gonna see you tomorrow?” She changing the subject, but that's alright with me ‘cause I'm too depressed to keep talking ‘bout the same shit over and over.

“Yeah. I'ma be there.”

“Good. Oh, yeah, my mother wants to talk to your mom.”

“What's up?”

“She wants to invite your family to dinner. Are you guys free on Friday night?”

“Yeah, pro'ly.”

“Okay, can you put your mom on the phone so my mother can talk to her? I'll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“Yeah, I love you too.” All of a sudden I get this sick feeling in my stomach, like I'ma throw up or something. “Hold on.”

I go back inside. “Here,” I tell my moms. “Ms. Jenkins wanna talk to you. Novisha bringing her to the phone.” I don't wait for my moms to say nothing. I just give her the cell and go to the bathroom. I really wanna throw up all the shit I put in my body
‘cause I'm feeling mad sick, but when I lean over the toilet, I'm gagging but nothing come up. Man, my stomach is tore up. Why I do this to myself?

When I come out the bathroom, my moms say, “We all going over to Ms. Jenkins apartment on Friday night. She talkin' ‘bout how me and her need to be friends since you and Novisha is get-tin' serious. Do Ms. Jenkins know you screwing her daughter?”

I take my cell back from her and head for the door. “I'ma be back in the morning. Don't leave Troy alone.”

Just as I'm ‘bout to slam the door behind me, she yell, “Do Novisha know you screwing that Puerto Rican girl?”

“I was waiting for you,” Jasmine tell me when I get to her room. She walking ‘round in that same BORICUA T-shirt, but tonight she wearing panties with zebra stripes on them.

“How you know I was coming?”

“You love sleeping with me. I'm real soft and I smell nice.” She stand in front of the mirror and start brushing her hair.

“You right, but it's killing me.” I ain't take my eyes off her ass yet.

She start laughing. “Oh. Guess what I did today?”

“Do I wanna hear this?”

“Yeah. I called that lady from the church, the one with the restaurant. She asked me if I need a job and I said yes and she said I can come in tomorrow for an interview to be a waitress.”

“You know how to be a waitress?”

“No, but it can't be that hard. And I can make a lot of money from tips.”

“True that.” I sit down on her bed and start to feel a little dizzy. Not only that, but my stomach still hurt.

After a couple minutes, Jasmine turn ‘round and look me in the eye. “Are you high? I didn't know you got high.”

“It's nothing,” I say. “I ain't that high.” I get that taste in the back of my throat that I always get right before I throw up, and I just wanna do it and get it over with already ‘cause I feel like shit.

“Liar.” She put her hair in a ponytail. “You wanna watch TV or just go to sleep?”

My stomach twist hard and I know it's finally gonna happen. I run to the bathroom and make it just in time. Then I'm throwing up, not only in the toilet, but all over the toilet seat and the floor. And it's real nasty. Then I just stand there hunched over gagging and gagging ‘til there ain't nothing left inside me.

Jasmine stand in the doorway, freaking out in Spanish like she ain't never seen nobody throw up before. I don't know what she saying, but it ain't making me feel no better. “What's the matter?” she finally ask me in English. “You drunk or something?”

I nod my head and go over to the sink to wash my face. The water is coming out cold no matter how much hot water I try to put on to warm it up, but it still feel good on my skin. Then I rinse out my mouth a few times.

“Why were you drinking?”

I don't say nothing ‘cause I don't even know why I drank so much. My opinion, weed ain't nothing compared to alcohol. They made the wrong thing legal.

I grab some toilet paper and try to clean up the mess I made on the floor. And Jasmine start helping me, which, I gotta say, is mad nice of her ‘cause I don't know if I would do that for somebody else.

When we done, I take off my sweatshirt, wash the stains out in the sink, then hang it up on the shower rod.

“I'm gonna get you some soda from the machine,” Jasmine say.

“No, don't go down there. Mr. Mendoza shift pro'ly started and I ain't in no condition to kick ass tonight.” I walk real slow over to the bed and lay down.

But Jasmine don't listen. She out the room in a second, but she do come right back with a can of ginger ale. “Here, drink this.” She hand me the can.

“You seen him?”

“Yeah, but he didn't say nothing to me. He looked at me, then put his head down. I think he's afraid of you.”

I sit up on the bed and drink the ginger ale. Jasmine sit next to me and rub my head and my back, and with no shirt on, her hands feel real nice on my back. “You feeling better, Papi?” she whisper in my ear.

Damn. I ain't never had a girl call me Papi before and it's so fucking sexy. And she sitting so close to me that I don't wanna do nothing ‘cept kiss her. So I do. I turn my head and, next thing I know, my lips is on hers, and my tongue is in her mouth and her arms is ‘round my back. I don't want the kiss to end ‘cause I need this after the way Novisha treated me today. I need a female like this that know how to treat me right.

After a long time, the kiss end and Jasmine smile at me. “You a good kisser,” she say. Then she bust out laughing. “But your tongue tastes like vomit.”

“A'ight,” I say. “Just for that, I'ma brush my teeth with your toothbrush.” I run back to the bathroom and lock the door before she can get in.

She bang on the door. “Ty, no. That's
my
toothbrush!”

I rub some of her toothpaste on my finger and brush my teeth and tongue that way, but she don't know what I'm doing. “Ty, that's disgusting!” she screaming.

Before I leave the bathroom, I wet her toothbrush. Then I walk out and watch her go in and check her toothbrush. “
Ay, dios mio!
” she say. “I can't believe you did that!”

“Sharing a toothbrush ain't no different from kissing.” I sit back on the bed.

“That's not true. Kissing is nothing.”

“Well, then come back over here and kiss me some more,” I say. “And call me Papi again.”

Kissing Jasmine is real nice, but I don't take things to the next level which I could do real easy. Jasmine ain't the kinda girl I wanna just use like that. It ain't right. And, truth is, she ain't the one I really wanna be with right ‘bout now.

After a while, I get up and turn off the light. Then me and her lay in bed with our legs wrapped ‘round each other. She stroking my head and I'm kinda getting into it when she say, “Why you so sad, Papi?”

“Sad? I ain't sad.” I'm mad, I wanna tell her.

“Girlfriend problems?”

“Something like that,” I say. Then I tell her everything I told Cal, ‘bout the stalker and how Novisha ain't letting me protect her. And I tell Jasmine how Novisha just walked away from me at her school like she wanted to be anywhere else ‘cept for with me.

“She still love you?”

“She say she do. But I don't know. Things is just different, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah. Things always change, but they can change back again, so don't worry so much.”

Me and her talk for a while and, I gotta say, it's real easy talking to her. And I'm real comfortable being with her like this. I don't know, but when I'm with Jasmine I don't gotta act like everything is okay when it ain't. I can just relax and let my guard down.

Novisha don't got a clue how I'm living. She don't know that all my clothes and shit is in garbage bags and my little brother is ‘sleep in a room full of roaches. And she don't know how bad I feel that I can't get my family outta this situation faster.

But Jasmine do know what I'm going through ‘cause she in it with me. Me and her is the same. And that's something me and Novisha ain't never gonna be.