Twisted Agendas

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Authors: Damian McNicholl

BOOK: Twisted Agendas
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Damian McNicholl was born in Northern Ireland and attended law school at University College, Cardiff. His first novel,
A Son Called Gabriel
was an
American Booksellers Association Booksense Pick and Lambda Literary Awards finalist. The book is currently under film option with award-winning Director Tom Collins. Damian lives in Bucks County
Pennsylvania and is at work on his third novel. He maintains a blog at
www.damianm.blogspot.com
.

Legend Press Ltd, 2 London Wall Buildings,
London EC2M 5UU
[email protected]
www.legendpress.co.uk

Contents © Damian McNicholl 2011

The right of the above author to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act 1988.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data available.

ISBN 978-1-9082480-2-2
eISBN 978-1-9082483-0-5

1
All characters, other than those clearly in the public domain, and place names, other than those well-established such as towns and cities, are fictitious and any resemblance is purely
coincidental.

Edited by: Lauren Parsons-Wolff

Set in Times
Printed by CPI Books, United Kingdom

Cover designed by Yvey Bailey
www.gingernutdesign.co.uk

Author Photo © Megan McLoone

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher. Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to
criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

Also by Damian McNicholl
A Son Called Gabriel

(Currently under film option.)

Praise for Damian McNicholl

American Booksellers Association BOOKSENSE ‘PICK’

ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Award Finalist

Lambda Literary Award Finalist

Advocate Magazine Top 20 Summer Book Selection

Nominated for the American Library Association

Stonewall Award

‘McNicholl is a fine storyteller and, in Gabriel, he has created a convincing, complicated and likable main character.’

Curledup.com

‘It is so well written, and the author's portrayal of Gabriel is so vivid, that readers will be hard-pressed to remember they're holding a piece of fiction in their
hands.’

Backspace book reviews – bookblog.com

‘Beautifully crafted, honestly told, and hauntingly heartbreaking with a gentle dash of humor, A Son Called Gabriel is simply one of the best books I've read in
years.’

Bookcritics.org

‘McNicholl’s descriptions dance and light upon the page, making this a very entertaining read.’

Compulsivereader.com

‘Each character, from Gabriel’s girlfriend to his youngest sister Nuala, is so vividly portrayed that their world is all-encompassing, and it becomes almost
heartbreaking to say goodbye.’

ForeWord Magazine

‘[A] fine, compassionate coming-of-age story. McNicholl paints a rich picture of Gabriel’s life and all its conflicted messages about sex… McNicholl is a
graceful writer, and his is a worthy debut.’

Publisher's Weekly

‘McNicholl writes compellingly, drawing his readers deep into Gabriel’s … tale of growing up in ’60s and ’70s Ireland — so much so that I
was left thinking about sequels.’

Echo Weekly

‘The author captures the life and times of the Catholic Irish family and community living. We are given a peek at the pressures that are brought to bear on the families
through religious and patriotic differences.’

BookIdeas.com

‘... moving reading... [a] touching portrait of one boy's hopes and fears. A sometimes funny, often painful depiction of a young boy's struggles with his
sexuality.’

Booklist

‘McNicholl's affable voice captures the wary innocence and budding sexuality of youth with polished and amiable originality.’

Book Marks

‘Damian McNicholl does a marvellous job telling this heartbreaking story of a boy fighting against himself - so good that you will not be able to put it down.’

Wordswordswords.com

‘A beautiful story, wonderfully written, and the top of my list for recommended reading for everyone, gay or straight.’

The Open Book

‘A touching and dark, yet periodically hilarious work on a subject matter often overlooked in Irish literature.’

Irish Connections Magazine

‘A deeply felt and often funny coming of age novel that is ultimately unforgettable.’

Adelante Magazine

‘The complex relationships within the extended Harkin family…are developed with skill and an attention to the minutiae of life in a divided community that easily
holds the reader's attention.’

Emigrant magazine

‘A bittersweet coming-of-age tale… McNicholl’s publishers are (of course) comparing [it] to
Angela’s Ashes
, which is not necessary. This novel,
though a bit melodramatic at times, stands well enough on its own.’

Irish America Magazine

‘… the first-person narrative skillfully evokes the feelings of 10-year-old Gabriel, who fears, then knows he is 'different.'’

Lavender Magazine

Acknowledgements

Thanks to my friends and family for their encouragement during the writing of this novel.

I’m especially grateful to LSE alum Emily Lauren Burg for her help. I also wish to thank Jeanne Denault, Maria Lamba, David Jarret, Chris Bauer, John Wirebach and Russ Allen of The Rebel
Writers of Bucks County. And thanks also to my editor Lauren Parsons and Lucy Boguslawski of Legend Press.

For Larry Caban

Contents

Breaking free

Parrot Talk

At the famine house

London bound

Wardrobe Revelations

A final stance

Too close, Madam

Peculiar questions

My mistake

Speak of the devil

Journalist in training

Offbeat places

Window shopping

Crap humour

A letter to Ma’am

Settling in

A strange emergency

Canapés at Tiffany’s

Honey bunny, now

Surprises

Bunting, as in bunting

Smoking trains

Puppy
non grata

Nanny’s mistake

Amorphous shapes

News from home

Staying the course

All’s forgiven

A call to arms

Giving it a go

Making plans

Womb sack therapy

Helping out

Reconnecting

The vehicle of life

Early morning visitor

Back in the Big Apple

Making a move

Lunch with Mom

Striking a deal

Arranging closure

Tea and rancor

Sixth time, a charm

Family time

A very long day

Carrot and Stick

Au revoir

Labour day

Hawks and Sparrows

Toast

Breaking free

Sleek and silver-blue, the car was parked under the porch of his parents sprawling red-brick house, its seductive profile gleaming in the rays of the lowering sun. It was
breathtakingly gorgeous yet the sight of it enraged Danny Connolly as he returned home.

He strode around to the back of the house and entered through the kitchen where he laid his suitcase down beside the knotted pine table. Theme music heralding the start of his father’s
favourite nature documentary commenced as he approached the living room.

“Home from the training course, eh?” his father said from the unfurled recliner.

“Hello Mum,” Danny said, not looking at him.

“Have you eaten?” she asked.

She was seated at one end of a buff Chesterfield sofa, open scissors in one hand, a spring green spider plant offshoot suspended in the other, the hacked mother plant in a large terracotta pot
perched on a footstool before her. In a semicircle around the stool were ten tiny pots containing the transplanted babies. His mother was constantly assailing the houseplants, shearing leaves at
the slightest hint of brown, as well as overfeeding the scrawny rubber plants in the vestibule.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Did they give you a nice certificate to hang up?” his father asked.

Certificates didn’t impress Danny. In, fact, they were a cause of monumental embarrassment. After the university forwarded his degree certificate, his father insisted he display it in the
company’s reception area rather than in his bedroom where Danny deemed it more appropriate. It hung there beside his unduly ornate
Connolly Dairy Management Certificate in Organisational
Methodology,
both framed in pretentious baroque gilt frames.

He’d started working in the family business nine months ago at the insistence of his father, a self-made man who’d built a very profitable business supplying supermarkets and corner
shops throughout Ireland with milk, cream and cheddar cheese. Danny had graduated with honours in business, and was appointed to supervise a new ‘Yoghurt and Soft Cheese’ department
despite pleading with his father Darragh that a marketing position would benefit the company most because he could immediately utilise the knowledge acquired from pursuing his degree. As part of
his training he’d been ordered by his father to a yoghurt-making facility in the Republic of Ireland, Mr. Connelly being the sort of boss who required his future executives to dirty their
hands on the production lines. But yoghurt cultures weren’t the only thing that had fermented while Danny was at the factory. He’d had ample time to think and decided he was far too
subordinate to his father. Things needed to change.

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