Twisted (37 page)

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Authors: Jake Mactire

BOOK: Twisted
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“Jeff! Jeanette!” He came up to us. Both Jeanette and I gave him a hug. Mike glowered until Lonnie turned around and hugged him too.

“You must be Mike. I been hearin’ a lot of good things about you. Rumor’s goin’ around, you’re real good for Jeff, and I can see that’s true. Maybe you can keep him outta trouble and get him to think before actin’.”

Jeanette laughed. “You ever think, Lonnie, it might work the other way around? Jeff’s got Mike runnin’ around in his underwear all the time now.”

Lonnie laughed and took off his sunglasses. He looked Mike up and down. “Hell, Jeanette, if I was put together like this one, I’d run around in my BVDs too. Anyway, Mike, it’s a pleasure to meet ya. You three have good rides!” He walked off.

Mike smiled at me. “He seems a nice guy.”

“He is, Mike. Most of my rodeo buddies are nice. Right, Jeanette?”

“He’s right, Mike. You’ve just seen some of the slutty drunks that any gay event attracts.”

“Jeanette, it’s all so new to me, I just don’t rightly know what to think. It’s like I landed on some other planet or somethin’.”

We got over to the chutes and started getting ready. When we finished chute dogging, we stayed at the chutes for the bareback bronc riding. Jeanette was up before us. She was the last of the ladies bronc riding. None of the five before her had covered or stayed on, so she just had to do that, and she was assured of first place today. We got her all situated. She sat there a moment, settling into what I call the buckin’ zone.

“Good ride, cowgirl!”

She looked at me, nodded, and yelled out, “Let ’er rip!” For a split second, the bronc didn’t seem to realize the gate to the chute had opened. Then he exploded into leaps and jumps. Jeanette was holding tight on the rope. She didn’t have the greatest balance, but she was holding on. She just might make it. She was getting thrown around something fierce. She started to teeter, and I was sure she was gonna get bucked off. Just then the buzzer sounded! She’d made it! She half jumped, half fell off the bronc. Mike and I both jumped over the railing and ran over to her.

We got her up and she was grinning. “Just gotta hold on tomorrow, and that buckle’s mine! These gals just don’t know how to ride.”

“I’ll let ya in on a secret, Jeanette. The guys don’t either.”

“I wonder why that is.” Mike looked at me quizzically.

“I’d reckon most of the guys just started rodeoin’ as adults. They might practice on weekends, probably not every weekend.”

“Good way to get broken up. How old were you in your first rodeo, Jeffy?”

“I competed in a junior rodeo when I was eleven.”

We moved over to a chute, Mike was bucking after the next guy. He climbed up on the rail, and I joined him. We could hear the guy in the next stall yell, “Pull!” His horse shot out of the chute. He started tipping almost immediately, like Jeanette had, but he didn’t cover. Mike got his gloves on and jumped on the bronc in his stall. The horse started moving immediately. I helped him get all ready to buck. I leaned over and kissed him when he was ready.

“Have a good ride, cowboy!”

He grinned at me and yelled out, “Pull!” The gate to the chute shot open, and Mike was propelled into the arena. He stuck on to the bronc pretty good. The bronc bucked, stopped a second, and started again. I could tell he was gonna lose points for that. All of a sudden I heard the buzzer. Mike let the horse’s buck propel him off its back. He landed on his feet and waved his hat to the applause.

“Forty-six points!”

Mike looked at me with a bit of disappointment on his face. “I knew they was gonna mark the horse down.”

“Well, buddy, you’re in first place now.” We walked over to the chute where my horse was waiting. I pulled myself up in time to hear a buzzer. The guy between me and Mike covered. As I got gloved up and on the horse, I heard he’d gotten forty-two points.

“You’re still in the lead, bud. Just prepare to lose it.”

“You ain’t even bucked yet. Don’t put the horse on the cowboy.”

I laughed, and he leaned over and kissed me. He nuzzled his dusty beard against my face and whispered in my ear, “Good ride, cowboy.”

I sat on the horse for a few seconds, psyching myself up. I finally yelled out, “Pull!”

The gate swung open and the world exploded. Time seemed to be suspended as the world went by in slow motion. I could only see a blur of color around me. I kicked my legs in time to the bronc’s buckin’. I’d gotten a horse that was carryin’ on real good. In the slow-motion feel of things, I was able to react instantly to the bronc’s movement. My legs kickin’ out for balance only served to make him buck harder as he felt he might buck me off. I held on. I was beginning to think I must have missed the buzzer, time was moving so slow. I wasn’t gonna jump off until I heard it or saw the pickup man next to me, if I could help it. From far, far away I heard the buzzer. All of a sudden time fast-forwarded into its normal progression. I could hear the audience beatin’ on the bleachers with their boots and lots of applause. I looked to my side, and the pickup man was there. He reached out, and I put my arm under his and around his shoulders. He grabbed me and leaned away from me. I came off the horse. He slowed and let me down. I waved my hat and walked over to Mike in the chutes.

“That was a great ride, Jeffy!” He gave me a real nice kiss.

I could hear the announcer. “That was Jeff Connolly, sponsored by the Lucky Jeff Ranch. A Washington State cowboy, Jeff’s partner is Mike Guidry who bucked just a while ago. Looking at Mike, I’d agree that Lucky Jeff is lucky.” We all laughed. Mike and I had moved over to the fence at the edge of the chutes and sat on it together.

I leaned into him. “He’s right. I sure as hell am lucky to have you.” He gave me a look that really got me going. It was sweet, tender, wild, and horny all at once.

“Forty-eight points!”

“I knew you was gonna do good, Jeffy.”

“Thanks, you did great too. It was just your horse lost points.” In bareback bronc riding, both the cowboy and horse are judged. Maximum score is twenty-five points each. “Rodeo ain’t over yet. We still gotta buck tomorrow. You’ll get a better horse.”

“Yep, and I’ll leave you in the dust.”

“It’s a good thing to have dreams, buddy, but that ain’t a dream, it’s a fantasy.”

“I reckon it’s no different from normal then. You’re the subject of all my fantasies.” We kissed again, and I heard several clicks. Several guys were standing around with cameras.

The grand entry was after the bronc riding, so Mike and I went and joined Jeanette, who was the only other representative of the Washington State Gay Rodeo Association present. The grand entry is where all the rodeo associations and the other folks putting on the rodeo enter the arena. There’s usually a pretty big group of drag queens. Since the grand entry is almost always late, I’ve heard a lot of guys joke that it was because two of the drag queens got in a fight over who’d go first. We paraded in, and they sang the American and Canadian National anthems and introduced each rodeo association. Then they had the ceremony of the riderless horse. For this event, a saddled horse is led around the arena, signifying that its rider is no longer with us. It started when AIDS was decimating the gay community and has continued on. This time the announcer added a very chilling bit of information.

“We’d also like to commemorate those taken from us by a heartless maniac, the West Coast Cutter. With the discovery of Officer Nate Hughes’ body this morning, his total is rising.”

 

 

T
HE
rodeo continued on. We’d run into Bryan and David and AJ. We sat together and watched the events. They saved us seats when it came time for the pole bending, barrel racing, and steer riding.

“Jeff, Mike, thanks for telling me about the gay rodeos. I’m having a great time. I understand a lot more about what you were saying about the cowboy culture when I was at the ranch.”

Mike nodded at AJ and smiled. “It’s my first gay rodeo too. It is fun though.”

David giggled.

“It looks like we have two rodeo virgins here, guys.” Bryan looked over at AJ. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it, AJ. David, I think that after straight rodeos, the gay rodeo would be a piece of cake for Mike.”

“Oh.”

“How long have you two been attending gay rodeos?” AJ looked at Bryan.

“This is about the fourth year I’ve attended some of the rodeos.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to attend a few more too.”

Just then our friend Lonnie walked by. “Hey, Mike, Jeff, is it okay if I join you guys?” He climbed up the stands. “Howdy, Jeanette.”

“Hey, Lonnie, you buckin’ this year?”

“No, I dislocated my shoulder a month ago, and the doctor told me to take it easy.”

Mike looked at him. “Jeff got shot a few months ago, and he’s here.”

“I guess I just ain’t as smart as Lonnie.”

“Are you a real cowboy too?” David was staring openly at Lonnie.

“I am. I live and work here in Arizona.”

“I’m Bryan, and this is my partner David.” Lonnie reached over and shook their hands.

“I’m AJ, Lonnie.” They shook hands, and Lonnie sat down next to AJ.

“You guys both looked great in the bareback bronc ridin’. Are you all competing in the wild drag race?” He looked from me to Mike to Jeanette.

“Yep, we are.”

“So who’s goin’ in drag?” He looked from me to Mike.

I couldn’t help but answer. “Jeanette.” She punched me lightly on the arm, and everyone laughed. “I reckon that’d be me. We weren’t too sure Mike could stay on the steer.”

“From what I’ve seen of his rodeo skills, he shouldn’t have a problem.” Mike smiled at AJ for the compliment.

Lonnie jumped in. “See, Mike, not only is the man handsome, but he’s a good judge of steer riders.” Lonnie and AJ smiled at one another.

A couple of drag queens walked by and said hello. I tipped my hat and said, “Afternoon, ladies.” They giggled. Before we knew it, the announcer was calling the contestants for the wild drag race. Jeanette, Mike, and I headed over to the chutes.

 

 

I
T
WAS
about a half an hour later, and we were standing in a group of people waiting to compete. I was wearin’ an old housedress over my jeans and shirt. I had on a big-hair blond wig. One of the guys in the group laughed and came over.

“You got the wig on backward, dude.” I put it on the right way. It did fit a bit better.

“Much obliged.” I turned to Mike and Jeanette. They were laughing.

“I wouldn’t laugh if I was either of you. Number one, I’m the only one brave enough to go like this, and Mike, wouldn’t you rather I didn’t know one end of a wig from another?”

“You got that right, Jeffy.” Before we knew it, we were up. I stood out in the middle of the arena. Jeanette was by the chute gate, and Mike was about halfway between us. The whistle blew and the steer trotted out of the gate. Jeanette grabbed the rope, and Mike ran up and began dogging the steer. I ran and pushed from the back. Jeanette fell and Mike and I managed to hold on to the steer until she got up and got the rope again. We finally dragged, pushed, and led the steer over to the first line. I jumped on its back. It immediately bucked before I even had my balance. I fell off.

“I reckon I’m gonna have to teach you how to steer ride, Jeffy.”

“In your dreams, buddy. Watch this.” I jumped right across the steer and pulled one of my legs over it and held on around its neck. I spurred it on while Mike dragged it, and Jeanette pushed. Finally the buzzer rang.

“That was fifty-seven seconds. The best time so far by Jeff Connolly, Mike Guidry, and Jeanette Randall from the Lucky Jeff Ranch out of Washington State.” I pulled off my wig and waved it, and Mike and Jeanette waved their hats. I finally put my arm around Mike on one side and Jeanette on the other, and we walked out of the arena together. We all enjoyed all the applause. As soon as we got by the trucks in back, I ditched the dress and the wig in Jeanette’s truck. When we got back to the stands, Lonnie had beers for each of us.

“Thank you much, this hits the spot.”

He chuckled. “I was gonna get you a pink lady, Jeff, but I thought you’d prefer the beer. In any case, good job.”

We sat and watched the wild drag race for a while. There was quite a bit of creativity in a lot of the costumes. There was Little Bo Peep, a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, and a guy dressed up like Pippi Longstocking. We didn’t manage to hang on to the best time.

“So, what other events are you competing in today?” Bryan looked at us.

“We just got team ropin’ and bull ridin’ and that’s it.”

“Bull riding, that’s dangerous, isn’t it?” AJ frowned.

“Any event in rodeo can be, AJ. Cowboyin’ is a dangerous job. Rodeo developed for cowboys to show off their skills. Lotta the guys ridin’ bulls professionally ain’t even cowboys, just bull riders.”

“Do your rings have anything to do with the roping?” Bryan had noticed our rings.

“Yeah, they do. Jeffy made ’em for us because we do team ropin’. He’s the heeler, and I’m the header.” Just then the announcer made the call for team roping.

“You’ll get to see us in action now.” We walked off to the chutes with cries of good luck sounding in our ears.

 

 

T
HE
din surrounding us was pretty amazing. We were at a large table in a raucous Mexican restaurant across the street from the host hotel in downtown Phoenix. Mike, myself, Jeanette, a friend of hers named Debbie, Bryan and David, Lonnie, AJ, and Robert were gathered around the table. Several baskets of chips and salsa were scattered around, and Mike, myself, Jeanette, and Lonnie had beer. AJ, Debbie, Bryan, and David had margaritas. Robert had a glass of red wine.

“I still can’t believe you two at team ropin’.” Lonnie looked from Mike to me and shook his head.

“I hope you were takin’ notes there, Lonnie,” Jeanette chimed in.

“I just can’t believe how lucky the two of you were. I mean, I know you guys are good, but that was incredible.”

“What was incredible about it?” David asked.

“Just the fact that they had the calf roped in perfect form in only twenty-three seconds.” Lonnie shook his head again.

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