Turn It Up (24 page)

“Laundry? You mean you want to come in?” The idea seemed to terrify him and he braced one hand on the door frame, blocking any entry. “I can bring it over later. Yeah, that sounds good. Why don’t you go on home and I’ll bring it—”

“What are you and my mom up to? Has Bastian got you helping with this surprise thing of his?”

Deflated, his shoulders sank and his face fell. “Cut me some slack here. He promised if I said one word about it, he’d remove my spleen with a spoon. And although I’m not too sure what a spleen does, I think I should try to keep mine inside my body. Just pretend you never saw me, okay?”

“He’s not a surgeon so I think you’re safe. What are you two doing?”

“A spoon, Charlie, not a scalpel. Surgeons don’t use spoons, pissed-off older brothers do. Trust me, I’ve boxed with him. He hits hard and fights dirty. Sorry. Not talking. Go home.”

“No can do. For all I know, you and my mother are being held hostage and they’re forcing you to lie right now. I need to get inside the house to ease my mind. Move it.”

He shook his head in amusement. “My spleen ranks over your mind. Go home.”

“Mom!” Charlie called. “Make Boo move so I can come in and get my clothes.”

“Oh, good Lord, Charlie.”

From behind the closed door, she heard her mother sigh before the knob jiggled. A huge green plastic basket overstacked with folded laundry appeared, clutched by irritated hands.

“Take this and go home, you nosy little pain in the ass.” She thrust the basket at Charlie. Tilting her head up to the man beside her, her mother smiled broadly. The look they shared was conspiring and annoying. “Do you know she has weaseled every present out of me for at least fifteen years? She just doesn’t give up, serves her right to be wondering for a change.”

Eddy slid her hand around Caz’s elbow. Together they stared at her, a united front of silence, recruited soldiers in Bastian’s ambush. Aggravation boiled to the surface and Charlie stomped her foot.

“Oh wait.” Eddy darted back inside the house. Caz merely grinned at her

“This cat-that-ate-the-canary look you have going? Not attractive, Boo.”

“Rub my belly and I’ll purr for you but no way am I talking.”

Charlie growled but that damn infuriating grin only widened.

“He really got you this time, admit it.”

“He can
have
me anytime he wants. I just want to know what he’s up to.”

“Six-two, I think.” Caz leaned on the door frame, a huge tattooed barricade. “I’m not even going to guess at other measurements. That takes family bonding to a disgusting level.”

She tightened her mouth. “You are no longer allowed to drive my car.”

Eddy slithered out with a handful of mail. She pulled the door shut behind her and tucked the stack in the side of the laundry basket. “There, mail call. Now go home and get ready.”

“Get ready for what? Tell me!”

“No. I happen to like Bastian.”

“Right this minute, I don’t.” She glared her most bitchy face at her mother.

Eddy patted her cheek. “Now, do you want your face to freeze like that?”

Laughter carried across the lawn as Charlie stalked away. Only the laundry clutched in her hands prevented her from making a rude finger gesture. Frustration rolled in her stomach as she pounded up the stairs and dropped the basket inside her bedroom. The force made the neat stacks of clothing jump and wrinkle up. Ignoring them, she collapsed facedown on her bed. She hated surprises. Bastian knew that, damn him. So did her mother.

After kicking the mattress a few times, she sagged. There had to be some way to figure out what Bastian was planning. Her brain shifted through ideas while her hands were putting her laundry away. She grabbed the mail and sifted through it, tossing out junk and sorting bills. Two responses to her job search sped her heart, and she ripped into a letter from Chicago. The bland greeting deflated her shoulders and she knew before the first sentence that it was a rejection.

The trilling phone interrupted her and she scrambled over the pillows, searching for the handset.

“Hello?”

“Boo says you’re being nosy.”

“She stomped her foot!” In the background, Caz’s amusement was loud. “Temper tantrums, I love it.”

“Wait, you picked Boo up? You were just here and didn’t come up?”

“No time. I have shit to do today.”

“Damn it, Bastian. This is driving me nuts. Give me a hint here. What are you doing?”

“Right this minute we’re sitting in traffic and laughing at you.” True to his word, masculine chuckles sailed through the phone line.

Her hand gripped the hard plastic, wishing it was Bastian’s secretive neck. “You dragged my mother and your brother into this and still won’t tell me? How fair is that?”

“Haven’t you ever heard that all’s fair in love and war?”

“Oh, screw that crap. Tell me what you’re planning.”

“I’m planning on surprising you.”

“I don’t like you.”

“Well, I love you, so deal with it. Go take a shower and cool off. I can hear your brain overheating. See you at seven.”

He disconnected before she could respond but it didn’t prevent her from screaming into the receiver.

“You’re the biggest wuss I’ve ever seen,” Bastian grumbled, handing over another large box that weighed next to nothing. “You’re over six foot tall. How can you be scared of a little spider?”

Caz shivered exaggeratedly. “Little spider, my ass. Did you see it? That thing was the size of a quarter, not counting the legs. Hurry the hell up and let’s get out of here. And call an exterminator or something, Jesus.”

They grabbed the last two boxes and carried them down the stairs with Bastian snickering over his brother’s spider phobia. Caz took it until Bastian’s SUV was full.

“Shut the fuck up. I don’t rib you about shit you’re scared of.”

“What am I afraid of?” Bastian shot back. Something about the way Caz bit his lip chilled Bastian’s blood. The tease left his voice. “What? Just say it.”

His brother sucked in a breath then shook his head. “Forget it. I need food before I go back. Eddy and I are going to have to haul ass most of the night to get this done.”

A frown tugged at his mouth but he followed Caz up the walkway. An unfamiliar blue car pulled in the drive behind them. Bastian looked over his shoulder and froze.

“That’s Lisa.”

“What the hell does she want?” Caz grumped. Bastian snapped a disgusted look at his brother then headed back down the sidewalk.

His ex-wife stepped out of the car before he could reach her. “Hey.”

“Hey, Bastian.” She gave him a weak smile. “I finally got around to finishing the nursery and…I found some old med-school textbooks in the closet. I thought you might want them back.”

She opened the rear door and pulled out two old hardcovers. Bastian didn’t even bother glancing at the titles. He was too busy studying her face. He hadn’t been with her for years without learning when Lisa was near tears and trying to hide it. He started to ask but then remembered he didn’t have that right anymore.

She caught him looking and he fumbled. “You look good.”

A bright sheen was blinked away and her smile quivered. “For a woman who spent thirty-three hours in labor a week ago, I look amazing. I even managed to put clothes on today and I think they almost match.”

A swallow balled in his throat as he glanced into the backseat. An infant seat was covered with a pale yellow blanket. “You didn’t have to bring the books over now. They could have waited.”

Lisa rubbed her arms as if she were freezing despite the sunny weather. “I just needed to escape the house. It seemed like a good idea.”

“Lisa, are you all right?” His mouth shot off before his brain processed.

“I don’t know.”

The note of confusion and loss in her tone curdled his gut, and he moved her aside with one hand. “Come on, I’ll make some coffee and we can talk.”

He didn’t give her a chance to argue but she didn’t make an effort either. The seat belt latch unhooked and he lifted the baby carrier out. She went to take it but he nailed her with his firmest doctor look. “I’ve got it. You shouldn’t be lifting anything yet.”

He motioned her ahead, slung the diaper bag from the floor to his shoulder then trailed her up the sidewalk. His heart pounded. God, hadn’t he longed for this? How many times did he dream of him and Lisa bringing their child to this house, to show off their baby to his mother? He had wanted so badly to give her her first grandchild. But it hadn’t happened and she’d passed away just after his divorce was final. This was his home now and there would be no bringing home of any babies, ever.

Caz stood just inside the foyer. His pinched gaze jerked from the baby carrier to Lisa before turning hard. “Oh nice, Lisa. Think you can throw a bit more salt on those wounds?”

“Boo, shut up!”

Lisa’s eyes went wide and she spun to him. “Oh, Bastian, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think…I’m sorry. I should go.”

“No, it’s all right.” Bastian glared at Caz. “I’m fine. Let’s go in the kitchen.”

Sucking in a wet inhale, she scurried toward the back. Bastian hissed, “Stay out of this. She needs a friend. I was her husband for too long to not be there for her now.”

Caz’s eyes locked on the carrier. “Still think she’s wrong for bringing the kid. Sue me.”

Bastian barreled past him. Lisa was staring out the window, both arms wrapped around her middle. The girl he’d loved was still there but she was buried beneath a few years and a recent childbirth. She’d been fastidious when he knew her, never leaving the house unless every hair was in place. Now her pale brown hair looked unbrushed but shoved into a clip out of her face. There were circles under her eyes and lines of exhaustion around her mouth. The too-large maternity shirt was wrinkled and a faint spit-up stain graced her shoulder.

Her breasts were larger and he immediately felt like a creep for noticing. He gently placed the covered seat on the table and dropped the bag to the floor. Sliding the books onto the counter, he closed his eyes. “Are you nursing? I’ll make some tea if you can’t have coffee.”

She nodded. “Tea sounds good.”

“How’re Patty and Donald?”

“Mom and Daddy are fine. He finally retired and is now obsessed with fishing. Mom makes him strip in the mudroom when he comes off the lake.”

Her voice was hollow. Small talk faded away. He filled the kettle and dug for the box of tea before looking at her. Lisa hadn’t moved. He didn’t want to do this. His life with Lisa had ended over four years ago and even though they’d parted as amicably as possible, the pain was still there. Nothing more was said as the water heated.

“Does Paul know you’re here?”

“No, but he wouldn’t care.”

Bastian steeled his jaw. He really didn’t want to talk to his ex-wife about her current marriage trouble. A coo sounded from beneath the blanket and he made himself look over. He didn’t want to see her baby either.

He set the steaming cup on the table and sat down. Lisa joined him with a small smile. “Thanks. And thanks for the flowers. I didn’t expect that.”

He’d sent a flower arrangement to the hospital but even though he was only down in the ER, he hadn’t gone to the seventh floor to see her, see it. One brow dropped when he realized he didn’t know if her baby was a boy or a girl. He kept his eyes away from the blanket.

“What’s up?”

The Earl Grey held her attention for a long moment before a tear finally slipped over her lashes. “Do you remember when we were first married? That apartment over the bakery?”

A laugh burst out before he could catch it. “Oh, yeah. The smell made up for the cracks in the kitchen floor, the wonky closet doors and leaky bathroom sink.”

“Remember how we used to laugh at the neighbors?” A glow flashed on her face. “They had sex as loud as they argued.”

Bastian groaned. “After listening to that for hours, paying the rent was embarrassing.”

“I keep thinking about that place. It was small and shabby and we were living on a shoestring but we were happy.” Her voice broke. “When did I stop being happy? When did I turn into a nagging bitch who was so determined to have a baby that I lost my husband?”

“Lisa, don’t.” He reached over and took her hand. “You weren’t a bitch. We wanted a baby and we tried but it just didn’t work. We both changed after that.”

“Maybe it was God’s way of saying I wasn’t meant to be a mother. I keep thinking that if it weren’t for wanting a baby, you and I would still be married, still be happy. But I pushed and demanded an—”

“We’d have divorced eventually no matter what. We’d changed too much from the kids who met at that pep rally.”

“Did I…?” She lifted the cup, set it down without sipping. “I know you had some trouble accepting…Did I do that to you? Make you feel like less…of a man?”

Bastian sighed and dropped his head back.
Price of a return visit to hell—one cup of tea. Delayed misplaced guilt from a new mother’s raging hormones—no extra charge.
“No. That was all me. All that resentment and anger and…and fear boiled over into every corner of our lives. Look, we both had issues. There’s no one person to blame. Why are you rethinking this now?”

“I heard you’re marrying Charlie.” She sent him a quick look then studied her teacup.

“I asked her, she hasn’t said yes yet.”

She turned the cup around and around and he waited, braced for what he knew was coming. “Did you…I mean, before we split, did you and she—”

“No, I never lied. Charlie was my friend. It just grew into something more.”

“Are you happy now? I mean, do you love her?”

Thoughts of Charlie warmed his chest and he let the smile out as wide as it wanted, feeling his cheeks lift. “Yeah, I am happy and yeah, I love her.”

Lisa’s lower lip trembled. “I wanted a baby. Now…I love her, I do. But I just…I’m not happy. Paul thinks I’m crazy but I just—I don’t feel like I can do this.”

Her.
Lisa had a daughter. His eyes darted to the yellow blanket, and a bittersweet ache formed under his ribs. They’d wanted to name their daughter Gillian. Had she given their name to her daughter? He slammed a mental door shut on all the feelings that rushed him and turned to what he always had, medicine.