Trusting Stone (27 page)

“Did you really think I could move on from you so quickly? Or ever, for that matter?” Eden was taken aback by his presumption. Had he not heard her that night she told him she loved him? Did he not understand what he meant to her?

“I don’t know what I thought. I just knew I had pushed you away for the wrong reasons and I had no idea how you would react. And…” Sebastian was holding something back now. She could see by the way he tentatively looked at her, not wanting to upset her anymore.

“And what? What? Stop hiding! Please.”

“I saw you on the sidewalk outside your office. I saw you close your eyes and I knew what you were thinking.”

Eden looked away from him now. She was sure he couldn’t possibly know what she had been thinking. She had not spoken to Sebastian very much about her failed suicide attempt and what her therapy consisted of. She was sure he had no idea of how overwhelming the darkness inside her could be. She decided to ignore his comment, instead wanting to challenge him.

“Why didn’t you call or text before that? You just let me leave and then stalked me for a week? I don’t understand you. You act so indifferent and then I find out that you’ve been sitting in front of my
apartment
, in front of my office, watching me? And how could you think I would have gone straight into Joachim’s arms? I told you he was just a friend. How could you think so little of me?”

“Jesus Christ, Eden, what do you want from me?” Sebastian
suddenly
stood up, pacing in front of her, his voice angry again, as if he held her to blame for something, but she had no idea what. His anger filled the room and she could feel it pressing down on her.

She
suddenly
felt very tired, despite
finally
getting some sleep the night before. The morning light that still filled her
apartment
and had filled her with hope when she woke up now irritated her and she just wanted to lie down and sleep. She was out of her depth with Sebastian. One minute he acted like he would kill for her, and the next he made her feel like some desperate one-night-stand who couldn’t take a hint. She wanted to get back into bed, pull the covers over her head, and never resurface, not for Sebastian, for Joachim, for Dr. Shepherd, for anyone.

Sebastian had come and delivered news to her that confirmed how she had felt all along—that she was truly alone. No one had her best interests at heart and the sooner she faced this fact, the sooner she could move on and make a life for herself, on her own. She had tried to, moving to New York, taking her independence into her own hands. Then she had met Sebastian, who for a moment made her think he wanted her and she wanted him. But how could she trust him? He had let her go that night and he clearly thought so little of her, accusing her of falling into Joachim’s arms. Eden felt truly alone, despite Sebastian’s distress.

She stood
finally
, facing Sebastian, wiping her tears off her face and tightening the belt on her robe. Before she could speak, he stopped in front of her, his face an expression Eden could only describe as fear.

“Don’t, Eden.”

She looked at him, trying to harden her resolve.

“Don’t do it. Don’t send me away. I won’t go. That look, the last time you looked at me like that, you walked out on me.”

“And you didn’t stop me.”

“I tried to, but you said you’d scream. I didn’t want to restrain you!”

“You asked me what I wanted from you. I’ve never asked anything from you, Sebastian.
You
found me in New York.
You
pursued me.
You
stayed despite everything I told you, despite how damaged I am. And now
you’re
mad at me for being upset that
you
lied to me? You think I want something from you? You’re the one standing here livid with me about something I’ve apparently done to you—and I don’t even know what that is besides ask you for the truth! I can’t do this. After what you told me, I don’t know if I can do this. The people I trusted the most in the world betrayed me and now I’m just supposed to trust you, even after what you hid from me, even after you pushed me away. I told you I loved you, Sebastian. I didn’t ask for anything in return.” Eden looked down at her hands, twisting her fingers around themselves, relieved that she’d managed to get it all out. She held her breath, expecting Sebastian to walk out of her
apartment
. She had wanted this all week, wanted him to barge into her
apartment
in his overbearing way and claim her, tell her she was his and no one else’s, tell her that he loved her too.

“Eden, I’ve never done this before.”

She looked up into Sebastian’s face. His voice was still cold and hard and didn’t match his words that seemed to pour out of him.

“I’ve never been involved with a woman like this. All the women in my life have been…dispensable, for lack of a better word. Now with you, I can hardly see straight. And I don’t know how to deal with that as well as I would like to. You...this…it infuriates me at times because I don’t know what you want. You are so contained all the time and yet you seem so trusting of the wrong people. I can’t get a handle on you. But when I saw you on the sidewalk, I knew what you were thinking about.”

Eden tried to step away from him, not wanting to hear what he was about to say, but he held her shoulders.

“I couldn’t let anything happen to you. The thought of you hurt, of you hurting yourself, drove me over the edge. I
realized
then that despite how hard this is for both of us, despite how hard it is for me to open my life up to you, I had to be with you. I had to make you mine.” Sebastian took her hands in his, gently unwrapping them to be able to lace his own fingers in between hers, lifting them to his lips and gently kissing them. “You asked me what I want from you, Eden. I love you. I want you. I want all of you and I want you to understand that you’re mine.”

Her breath caught as he said the last word—“mine.”

“Yours? I don’t even know what that means,” she whispered
finally
.

Sebastian leaned into her as he spoke. His lips brushed against her ear. “It means there’s no more doubt between us, it means you’re all  mine, it means that no one else gets to touch you, no one gets to tell you what to do, that you listen to nobody but me. It means you don’t do stupid things to get yourself into trouble or hurt because you’re
mine
. It means no one gets to even imagine what’s under that bathrobe, least of all Joachim Benedict.” As he continued to whisper in her ear, his hands reached down and slowly pulled on her belt, undoing it until the robe fell open.

She remembered that she was still naked under her robe, having never gotten dressed after her shower the previous night, but she was too overwhelmed to be embarrassed.

“It means you trust me implicitly, with everything. It means you let me take care of you, in every way imaginable.”

His hands caressed her bare stomach, reaching around her waist and pulling her against him, running his hands up and down her back.

Eden closed her eyes, breathing in his scent, as she pressed her cheek against his chest. She couldn’t formulate a response to his words. They overwhelmed her, as did his touch, making her body melt under his fingertips. He started to guide her backwards, walking carefully as he gently pushed her toward her bedroom, his lips still caressing her ear as he continued to talk while they moved across the
apartment
.

“It means that men like Joachim Benedict don’t even get to be in the same room as you unless I let them. That they don’t even get to lay their eyes on you. It means you stop defying me, challenging me when you don’t understand something. It means you trust that I’ll always do the right thing for you. It means you have nothing to be afraid of anymore, Eden. That’s what being mine means. It means I love you. You’re. Mine.”

Eden felt the back of her legs bump against her bedframe. One of his hands reached down and gently pushed it between her legs. She knew she was wet, unable to control the response her body had to his voice and touch. His words scared her, but they also did something else, stirring something deep inside her, making her want him.

“I can tell it’s what you want, Eden. I can tell by the way your body moves, the way your breathing changes, the way you are so wet for me even though I’ve hardly touched you.
I
know what you want.
I
know what you need.”
Keeping
one hand between her legs, he used the other to push her robe off her shoulders, kissing her collarbone. They were wet kisses as he used his tongue to trace along her neck. Sebastian reached his free hand up into her hair, grabbing a handful, pulling it slightly so her head tilted back and she winced slightly at the pain.

“Say it, Eden.” Sebastian’s tone was rough and tinged with anger again.

“I’m yours, Sebastian. Only yours.”

“That’s right, love.” He pushed her back on the bed and nudged her legs apart with his knee
. Suddenly,
he was pushing into her. Eden threw her head back and gasped at the speed at which he had entered her. She was ready, but it still was a surprise. Sebastian loved foreplay and, barring the last time they’d had
sex
, he always worked her up until there was no doubt she would be ready for him. But it didn’t matter. Within seconds of him pushing inside, her body responded and the extra moisture she needed was there.

Despite the hurried start, the rhythm that Sebastian established was slow and sweet. It was a healing beat as his hips pumped against her, and she lifted her legs to wrap them around his thighs.

“I should have told you. I should have told you, Eden.”

“Shhh.” She wanted him to get lost in her, to feel their bodies connecting as they had so many times before. “I get it, I know why you didn’t. Just think about us.”

“No, I should have told you I love you.” His thrusts increased in depth and he pushed into her neck as his hands gripped her hips to keep her in place. “I love you. I love you so much, Eden.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Standing on the hotel balcony, Eden could feel nothing but happiness. It was a strange sensation. She kept waiting for her anxiety, her self-loathing and self-doubt to creep in and taint the emotion, but all the usual negativity that surrounded her was kept at bay. It had been years since she felt so content, and even then she was always under pressure from her parents to do better. It was a first.

After reuniting with Sebastian, he had insisted she try and take a few days off work the following week for a surprise. They had spent every night together since he had confessed how he felt in her
apartment
. Sebastian already knew her well enough not to push her to talk about what he had witnessed on the sidewalk outside her office. But she didn’t need him to push. She had already scheduled extra phone sessions with Dr. Shepherd for after their week off together. But Eden had already spent a significant amount of time thinking about it, especially in light of what Sebastian had told her—what he meant when he said she was his. At first it had rankled her, but as she mulled it over and pushed aside her knee-jerk reaction to any concept of ownership, she had come to a very different conclusion that she wasn’t ready to share with Sebastian. Yet.

Finding out that the private jet Sebastian had rented was bound for Paris had made her heart soar. He had chosen a neutral location, he explained. He wanted to be in a
city
with her where they could both have a fresh start. Eden understood immediately. The
specter
of Simona and her obsession with Sebastian and Joachim’s betrayal could not be completely ignored and Eden knew Sebastian didn’t even want her in the same
city
as them.

They had spent the first four days touring the
city
, indulging in all the tourist sites. Sebastian insisted on buying her endless trinkets, some tacky and disposable, but they made her smile and she carefully packed them away in her suitcase. Yes, they were meant to be disposable, but not to her. But others were beautiful beyond belief—the Cartier bracelet with their initials engraved into the clasp brought tears to her eyes. He knew she never expected anything and the gesture held the same significance as the plastic Eiffel Tower keychain, but he clearly loved lavishing her with gifts and she let him relish the experience.

The only thing that had been different between them was the fact that Sebastian was holding back. Not in terms of the truth. He had explained himself over and over to her, clarifying why he had done what he’d done, and why he had hid it from her. No, he was holding back something else. He was gentler in bed, and while he was still attentive and ensured she had more than her fair share of fun, he seemed nervous about something.

Eden wasn’t going to let that impede on her happiness because she had a plan. Sebastian was trying to make sure she was diverted from everything else in her life by dazzling her beyond distraction with the wonder of Paris, but tonight, she was going to make sure the only thing driving either of them to distraction was their naked bodies. She knew he had dinner plans for them, reservations at one of Paris’s finest restaurants. In fact, she was supposed to be getting ready now. Sebastian had already finished dressing and was attending to some work on the phone in the small office the hotel provided for him in the ridiculously large penthouse suite.

Eden heard him enter their bedroom and her heart skipped a beat. She forced herself to not turn around and look at him. She needed a few moments to gather her courage to disrupt their evening and tell Sebastian what she needed to tell him before she threw herself at him and hoped it didn’t scare the hell out of him.

“Darling, as much as I think you look beautiful in anything, I think Le Meurice is expecting their guests to wear something a little more upscale than the adorable outfit you’re in.”

Eden
finally
turned and had to control the feeling she got in her stomach seeing Sebastian decked out in his suit. He had showered and shaved and looked like something off the cover of
GQ
. His hair was swept back and she knew that in no time, it all it would be falling over his forehead and looking as
disheveled
as usual, which just added to the sensuality that seeped off him.

“Well, I suppose then you’d better cancel our reservation because I have no intention of getting dressed in anything else. In fact, once I take this off, I have no intention of putting anything else on.” Eden rarely got playful and flirtatious. It just wasn’t something that came naturally to her, but Sebastian seemed to bring out parts of her that she didn’t know even existed.

He looked perplexed, clearly unsure of what she was doing. “What’s going on, Eden?”

“What’s going on is that as much as I’ve loved these past four days in Paris, we’ve barely spent any time together just the two of us. You’ve shown me beautiful site after beautiful site, you’ve wined and dined me at the most gourmet restaurants Paris has to offer, and taken me shopping for enough designer outfits and accessories to last me a lifetime. It’s been wonderful, magical, decadent, everything it should be. But I’m done. I don’t need or want all that. I want you. Just you. Just the two of us—at least for tonight. Tomorrow we can go back to your plan of making sure I’m so swept up in Paris that I can’t think of anything else, but just give me tonight.”

Eden could see Sebastian shifting his weight from foot to foot. While she knew he would do anything to make her happy, he was used to things going his way. The strict control he held on all aspects of his life meant it went against his nature to change plans like this. Eden approached him and ran her hands up the front of his suit before entwining her hands behind his neck. She wasn’t wearing heels and had to stand on tiptoes to get close to him, and even then she still had to pull his head down to her before she could make
contact
with his lips. And just as with every time she kissed him, it took her breath away, made her slightly dizzy with emotion. But
finally,
she knew he felt the same.

Eden flicked her tongue out to get him to open his mouth. She wanted to consume him, to taste him, to revel in him. Sebastian wrapped his hand around her waist, slightly lifting her as she continued to seduce him with her mouth. He groaned as she sucked his tongue gently. She knew how much he loved it and she smiled against his lips. She felt the familiar feeling of his growing erection pushing through his suit.

“Eden, we have a reservation.”

“Get the front desk to deal with it. They can call and cancel on your behalf.” She reached down between them and squeezed his cock gently, causing him to moan again into her lips. “Tell them a matter of personal nature has come up. Anyway, I don’t think you’re in any state to be seen in public, do you?” She continued to stroke him, knowing the friction was driving him wild. Eden stepped back now so she could see his face, but kept up the back and forth motion with her hands. Sebastian’s eyes were dazed and hazy.

She pulled his jacket to guide him to follow her until she was standing near the bedside table where she could reach the phone. She unbuckled and unzipped his trousers before lifting the phone and pressing the button that connected directly with the front desk. She checked that it was ringing before she handed the phone to Sebastian and slowly lowered herself to her knees, pulling out his now rock hard erection.

“Eden…”

“Sebastian, focus on the task at hand. Cancel the reservation.” She looked up at him before running her tongue over the slit at the end of his swollen head. She loved the way he smelled. Even though he had just showered, she could still smell him—not his body soap, not the scent of his dry cleaned clothes, but him. A musky scent so masculine and distinct, she could get lost in it. She licked down the underside of him, all the way to his balls, which she cradled with her left hand, alternating between squeezing softly and then more forcefully.

She waited until she heard the faint sound of the front desk picking up and Sebastian starting to explain about the
cancellation
before she swiftly took him all in. Sebastian’s voice caught and she hummed in amusement. With his cock pressed against the back of her throat, the vibrations drove him even further and she felt his cock twitch in her mouth uncontrollably. She sucked hard as she slowly pulled her mouth up his shaft, moving at an infuriatingly slow speed. She knew she was teasing him, but she wanted to work him into a frenzy. She wanted him to lose control, to let out the passion and animalistic side of him that she loved the most. For all his control that she knew so well, it was the wild side, the slightly uncontrollable side that she wanted to see tonight before she told him her news.

Sebastian dropped the phone, barely managing to get it back on the cradle, before he ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her off him. “Fuck, Eden, you’re going to pay for that later.”

“I’m sure I will.” She smiled up at him before she took him back into her mouth, moving fast this time, sliding her tongue over his soft skin. She grabbed the base of him, jerking her hand back and forth to match the rhythm of her mouth. She felt Sebastian flexing his hips to meet her mouth, pushing himself further each time she pulled him into her. He never pushed her too far when she took him in her mouth. He knew it was still a novel experience for her and she loved how he guided her but also let her figure it out for herself. Eden could feel his balls starting to tighten in her hand and she knew he was close. He pulled her hair, forcing her head up slightly to allow him deeper access.

“I’m close, Eden. You need to stop, baby, I’m really close.”

Eden pulled him out of her mouth abruptly. She met his gaze as she inserted her finger into her mouth, sucking it on it before crudely licking it, making sure it was wet.

“I know, Seb. I know.” She once again wrapped her mouth around him, taking up the same speed as before, but this time, to add to it, she slipped her hand between his legs and started massaging his perineum, starting with the sensitive spot right behind his ball sack. Sebastian moaned harder.

“Oh my God, that feels good. Fuck.”

He was thrusting harder now and she knew he was losing control. She moved her finger up his perineum, staying just below his anus, not wanting to make the final move until she knew he was about to come. She swirled her tongue around him and she forced her throat to relax as she pushed him in deeper than she’d ever tried to in the past. She tasted his salty pre-cum and only then did she dare slide her finger just the tiniest bit further until she was resting on his anus.

“Jesus, Eden! I’m going to come.”

She kept up the rhythm and pushed into his anus, sliding her finger in until she was able to press on his prostate. Sebastian grunted as his fingers tightened in her hair, pulling himself deeper as he spurted into her.

She swallowed and kept moving over him, taking all of him, licking up every drop of him. She could feel his legs slightly shaking and she slowly pulled out her finger and let him gently drop out of her mouth, kissing his semi-erect cock along the top before pulling herself up.

Sebastian’s eyes were closed, but as she rose, he opened them. She knew what she’d see in them and she was right—adoration, love, and need. Even though he had just come, he wanted more. She pushed him slowly until he bumped against the bed before she started to undress him. Whenever he tried to run his hands over her and take her clothes off, she batted him away. This was about him.

Neither of them had spoken yet and the silence between them hung heavy with lust and want. When he was
finally
naked, she pushed his chest until he sat back on the bed. Only then did she step back and start to quickly undress herself. She didn’t care how elegant she was. She wasn’t trying to give him a strip tease. She just needed to be naked so she could feel his skin against hers. She needed there to be nothing between them. Once she was completely stripped down, she pushed him further up the bed, crawling between his legs as she moved up his body until she could straddle his hips. Although he had only come minutes before, she could feel his growing erection pressing against her ass as she sat across him. Finally, he spoke.

“You are so beautiful, Eden. You take my breath away.”

“You too.”

He opened his mouth to speak again, but she pressed her finger against his lips. This was her moment now before she got too distracted by his hardness. She was soaking wet after feeling him come in her mouth. It wasn’t something she’d ever thought she’d like, but with Sebastian, everything they did together drove her wild.