Trust Me (14 page)

“Yeah, you were changing the way I’ve changed, weren’t you, Mom?” Rae asked. “You definitely weren’t talking
about getting gray hair.” When Anthony finally figured out what was going on with Rae, that she was a fingerprint
reader, there had been exhilaration mixed with the fear. Her feelings had been a lot like what she’d just picked up.

Does that mean I’m going to die, too? Have I already started dying?

Rae shook her head violently, trying to hurl the thoughts away.
You need more information,
she told herself.
Keep

going.

She shook out her hands, then pulled out a small velvet purse. It was empty, and the thoughts were ordinary. Rae
tried to let them go right through her without registering them. If she was going to touch everything in the box, she
had to stay a little numb. Yeah, right. That was easy.

Rae set the purse on the bed and picked up a silver hairbrush. Nothing. God, nothing but more love for the baby
growing inside her.

She started moving through the items more quickly. Yearbook. Nothing. Framed sonogram printout. Nothing.

Nothing she needed. Jewelry box. Nothing on the outside, but there was something rattling around inside.

Rae opened the box and saw a small glass bottle with a rubber stopper. The stopper was attached to the bottle. It
couldn’t be pulled off. Rae’d seen a bottle like that before, but where?

Lea’s cat. Lea’s cat, Smoochie, had diabetes. The insulin came in a bottle like that, and you stuck the needle right
through the stopper to get the insulin out. The little bottle resting in the jewelry box didn’t have a label, but Rae’s
fingers started tingling just as shelooked at it. She used two fingers to pick it up.
hurt the baby?

The bottle slipped from Rae’s fingers and fell to the floor. It didn’t break. Rae stared down at it. She had to pick it
up, had to see what other thoughts were on it. But her knees wouldn’t bend. That thought
-
that
hurt the baby?

thought-had been laced with so much terror, it had paralyzed her.

“Move your butt, Rachel Morgan,” she ordered herself. Slowly she managed to sit down next to the bottle. A
shudder went through her as she reached for it, but she didn’t pull back. /left group
hurt the baby?
ask Amanda
Reese why/did she leave because/I’m changing
hurt the baby?

Rae gently placed the bottle back on the floor, then wrapped her arms against her knees and put her head down,
waiting for the emotions to pass.

At least I have a place to start,
she thought.
An actual person, not a bunch of fingerprints. Someone I can ask

questions. I just have to find Amanda Reese.

Anthony sucked on the little nubbin that was left of his joint. Man, he couldn’t believe he’d already used all the pot
he’d gotten off Nunan. And he still felt edgy.

He glanced at the dashboard clock. Group therapy started up in ten minutes. The last thing he needed. But he had
to go. He didn’t want to do anything the slightest bit suspicious before the robbery tonight. He took one last pull,
inhaling as much smoke as possible, then tossed the last eighth of an inch out the window.

He left the window down as he drove the block and a half from his nice little suburban street parking space to the
institute, figuring it would blow the smell of the pot off him. When he pulled into one of the spots in the institute lot,
he caught sight of Jessein his rearview mirror. Crap. Anthony really didn’t want to talk about the new skateboard
park or whatever it was Jesse was going to be yammering about today. He needed a few more minutes of quiet to
get to the point where he could sit in group and act normal, or as normal as anybody in group acted.

Maybe if I pretend I don’t see him, Jesse will
-

“Anthony,” Jesse called. He reached Anthony’s car door before Anthony even had it open.

“Hey,” Anthony mumbled as he climbed out.

“I heard about you and McGee,” Jesse said, his voice high and shrill. It took Anthony a moment to realize that
Jesse was royally pissed off.

“What? Were you afraid you wouldn’t be able to get a big enough piece if I was in on it, too?” Jesse demanded, his
blue eyes bright with anger.

Anthony glanced around the parking lot, squinting against the sun. No one was close enough to hear them-right
now. “You mind keeping it down?”

“Oh, right, yeah, I’m supposed to care if I blow it for the rest of you guys,” Jesse shot back. He shoved his hands
through his hair, making it stand on end. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you gave me the big
speech about how it wasn’t anything either of us should do. Either of us!”

Jesse’s words were like mosquitoes biting his face. “I was right, okay?” Anthony answered. “It’snothing you
should be a part of. You should keep your head down, go-”

“Go to school,” Jesse interrupted. “Blah, blah, blah. If you didn’t want me hanging out, you should have just told
me.”

“I’m telling you now,” Anthony bit out. “And if I catch you anywhere near McGee and the rest of us-”

Jesse didn’t wait to hear the rest. He turned and ran toward the institute.

Anthony sighed, then slowly headed toward the institute himself, feeling like he’d spent the day eating boulders.

Well, at least Jesse’d stay away. He might hate Anthony for the rest of his life, but he’d stay away. That was the most
important thing.

“Hey, Jesse, how’re-”

Jesse shoved through the main doors of the institute without a glance at Rae.
Oh God, Anthony’s already told him

what happened Wednesday,
Rae thought.
Now he hates me.

Maybe she shouldn’t even wait for Anthony. Maybe it was way too soon to try to-There he was. He was coming toward her. She could just hurry inside, pretend she hadn’t seen him. But it was way
too clear she had. Rae forced a smile and took a few steps toward him. “Anthony, could we talk for a minute…”

Her words trailed off as she got a good look at him. Bloodshot eyes. Blank expression. Clothes that looked like
he’d slept in them. She took another step closer. And caught a whiff of the thick, sweet smell of pot. There was no
way Anthony could go into group like this. No way. Abramson would nail him in a heartbeat.

Rae grabbed Anthony by the arm. “You’re coming with me.” She gave him a jerk, and he didn’t move an inch.

“I’m not going anywhere except away from you,” Anthony told her, his eyes straight ahead, as if she were invisible.

“Anthony, you’re clearly stoned,” Rae said, speaking slowly and distinctly. “You can’t go into group like this. You
could end up back in the juvenile detention center. Now, let me help you get cleaned up.” She tugged on his arm
again, and this time he let her lead him. Rae hurried him to the upstairs ladies’ room, took a quick peek inside, then
shoved him in.

“This is the girls’ room,” Anthony said.

“Hey, yeah, you’re right,” Rae shot back. She opened her purse and started rooting through it, glad she was
wearing Mush on her fingers. “Eyes first,” she muttered. “Where is it? Where is it? Got it!” She pulled out a bottle of
Visine. “Tilt back your head,” she ordered Anthony.

“Why should I do anything you-”

“Detention center,” Rae snapped. Anthony gave her the kind of look he’d give a worm under his boot, then he
tilted back his head.
Good thing we’re about the same height,
Rae thought as she gave him a hit of Visine in each
eye. “Stay that way for a second,” she told him. She dug around in her purse again and brought out a travel
toothbrush and a little tube of toothpaste. “Okay, you can put your head back up.” She shoved the toothbrush and
paste into Anthony’s hands. He dropped them both. Rae grabbed them and put them into his hands more carefully,
not letting go until his fingers curved around them. “Brush,” she told him.

“You’re getting into this,” he accused her. “You think I’m some big doll for you to play with. Oh, look, what a sweet
troubled boy. I know! I’ll fix him up. It’s way more fun than being on the…” He paused, staring into space. “The prom
decorating committee. In just a few weeks I’ll have all his problems solved. Then I’ll get a dog from the pound and fix
it up. Get it spayed. Give it a-”

“We’re running out of time here,” Rae interrupted. “I’m sorry about looking for your dad. I shouldn’t have done it,
not without talking to you first. And if you want me to, I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing, but first we have to
get you to group. So brush!”

“Oh, she’s sorry. Well, that makes everything okay. She’s sorry.” Anthony’s words dripped sarcasm as strong as
acid. Rae tried not to let him see how much they hurt. God, she deserved everything he said and worse-much, much
worse.

Anthony finally started to brush. Rae pulled a bottle of her Caylx perfume out of her purse and spritzed him down.

“Hey!” Anthony protested, spitting toothpaste foam.

“It’s not that girlie. It basically smells like grapefruit,” Rae told him. “And it’s not as if you can go into group wearing
eau de marijuana.” She gave him a couple more good sprays, then wet down one of the thick brown paper towels
from the dispenser and went to work on the big spot on the front of Anthony’s flannel shirt.

He leaned over the sink and spit, barely missing her arm. “I’m done.”

“Your hair-” Rae began.

“I’m done,” Anthony said. “Let’s just consider this your last day on the Anthony Fascinelli project. I’ll write you a
letter for your freakin’ college application or whatever.” He stepped toward the door. Without thinking, Rae blocked
him.

“Anthony, it’s totally understandable that you got wasted after what you found out about your father, but-”

“Understandable. Oh, I’m so glad you find it understandable,” Anthony told her.

Rae cringed but didn’t move out of his way. “But you can’t start getting high every day,” she continued. “The
Sanderson Prep tests are coming up, and you need to-”

Anthony let out a harsh laugh. “Screw the tests. I’m not taking them,” he said. “I told you, I’m done being your little
project.”

Rae wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly chilled to the bone. “Anthony, please, no matter how you feel
about me, don’t throw away this chance.”

“Screw you, Rae.” He stepped around her and left her standing there.

Why didn’t I lie to him Wednesday? Why didn’t I keep repeating that story about the paper until my tongue fell out?

I knew how he’d feel when I told him the truth about his dad, and I just went ahead and did it.

And now he was already thinking it was hopeless. He was already thinking he was going to turn out like his dad.

Why try to get into Sanderson Prep?

Rae knew that’s what he was thinking because a lot of the time she was thinking the same kinds of things, except
about her mom. She was so scared she was going to end up just like her mother. And shewasn’t sure there was any
way for her to stop it from happening.

“I’m always happy to be your chauffeur,” Rae’s dad said when she climbed into the car. “But what happened to
Yana and Anthony? Between the two of them I’m hardly ever on duty anymore.”

Rae understood the subtext-she used to have a lot of friends, then she had her breakdown, then she had basically
no friends, now she was starting to have friends again, and was there some reason these new friends weren’t
around? Some reason that her dad should know about-know about and be worried about?

“Yana’s working on a big project for school,” Rae answered. “And Anthony…” She’d meant to spit out some lie,
but Anthony’s name was like broken glass in her mouth, and her eyes welled up despite herself.
I’m not going to cry,

she told herself.
I am
not
going to cry.
She blinked rapidly and rushed on. “Anthony had to pick his mom up from
work. He drives his mom’s car, you know. Part of the deal is he has to pick her up and do errands for her and stuff.

Pick up dry cleaning. Grocery shop. Get his little brother from day care.”

Whoa. Whoa. Way too much information,
Rae told herself.
Dad didn’t ask for the guy’s life story.