Trust Me (10 page)

Her fluttering heart picked up speed, and she felt a hot spot form at the back of her neck and slowly move up her
skull. Okay, okay. You’re just having some kind of panic attack, Rae thought. Just hang on. Jon will be here soon.

The heat moved up inch by inch, passing over the top of her head, then starting down her face. Her heart felt like it
was trying to pull free from her chest.

Was she having a heart attack? She couldn’t be. She was way too young. In a rush the heat moved all the way
down her body. She could feel her heart beating in her toes, in her neck, in her ears, in the tips of her fingers. “I
can’t…” Rae wheezed out. She pulled in as deep a breath as she could, ignoring the stench, then she screamed.

A shrill voice screamed back at her. “Yelling won’t help, baby girl,” a man added, his voice low and rough, as if he
hadn’t used it in a long time.

Rae hadn’t realized that anyone was close enough to hear her-anyone but the guards monitoring the hole from
somewhere where there was light and clean air. The knowledge calmed her down a tiny bit. “Yana, can you hear
me?” she called.

“Yana, can you hear me?” someone echoed in a mocking singsong. There was no response from Yana.

“I’ll be your friend,” a voice whispered. The leering tone was like a hand running down her body. “I’ll be your good,
good friend.”

“Put me down for seconds,” somebody else chimed in.

Rae’s panic turned to anger, her heart slowing to a hard, steady beat. What scum these guys were. But she’d be
walking out of here today, going home, going to the fridge to get what she wanted to eat, talking on the phone
whenever she wanted. And they’d still be sitting here.

God, what did you have to do to be sent to the hole? Had Anthony’s father ever-The door clicked, then slid open. “You’re out of there, Voight,” Jon told her. “On your feet.”

Rae leaped up and bolted out of the cell. Yana stood next to Jon. It was all Rae could do not to grab her and hug
her. She would have except she didn’t want to give the scum an extra thrill.

Jon led the way out of solitary and back into one of the long, puke-green hallways. “You two were in the hole for
twenty minutes. Try to imagine how it would feel to be in there for a couple of days.”

Rae’s stomach turned over.

“I’d have one sore butt,” Yana answered. She sounded actually… cheerful. Rae shot her a glance. Yana didn’t
seem like she was putting on an act. She looked like they were on a school field trip to a bakery or a paint factory.

“The men call it elephant hide,” Jon answered as they walked down the hall. “Spend a lot of time in the hole and
you get patches of thick skin. Like giant calluses.” He paused next to a set of double doors. “The showers are in
there. Open room. Guards watching. I can’t take you inside, obviously.”

Thank God,
Rae thought.

“And the worst thing-no hair conditioner.” Jon winked at Yana. “Unless the family sends money. Guys that don’t
get any money from the outside have to really stretch what we give them. And we don’t give them much-toothpaste,
soap, the basics. You always hear taxpayers complain about paying for prisoners to sit around pumping weights
and watching TV, but the families end up picking up a lot of the cost.”

They reached the end of the hallway, where there was another set of double doors. “Okay, now I’m going to take
you out in the yard. The inmates who have behaved themselves get to come out here for a little air and exercise.

There are plenty of guards on duty, but I want you two to stick close to me,” Jon told them. He signaled toward the
security camera mounted in the corner, and a moment later the door lock clicked open.

Jon ushered them outside, and Rae pulled in a deep breath of the clean, sun-warmed air. So good. She wished she
could stand there and breathe, just breathe, until she felt purified. But she was on a mission. Rae scanned the yard,
looking for Anthony’s father. It was a long shot that he’d be out here at the same time she was, but it wasn’t
impossible.

Her eyes moved from face to face. She tried to ignore the flicking tongues, blown kisses and catcalls from the men
and focus on what she needed to do. Tony Fascinelli wasn’t in the group playing basketball, or hanging out with the
smokers, or jogging around the perimeter of the high fence. She turned to the left and started checking out the
bodybuilders, who all went into strut mode when they noticed her staring.

An injection of adrenaline hit her system when she spotted a dark-haired guy doing bench presses. She stood on
tiptoe to get a clearer look. “That’s him,” she whispered to Yana. “Second bench press in the row back there.” He
didn’t appear to have noticed her. Good.

“Hey, Jon,” Yana said. “We were hoping we could interview a couple of guys for our paper. At the women’s prison
we talked to some women who used weight lifting and exercise to keep themselves sane. For the compare and
contrast, it would really help if we could talk to some of the men who are into bodybuilding.”

Jon rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand. “I don’t see why not,” he answered. “Let’s go over and talk to
the guards posted in the weight area. See what we can work out.”

Rae took a step forward, and a basketball hit her on the calf. The men playing laughed, and she had a feeling it
hadn’t been an accident. They were all staring over at her. It was like being slimed by Al Schumacher-times fifteen.

Stay calm,
she told herself.
Yana’s going to get you what you came here for, and then you’re gone.
She bent down
and grabbed the ball.

high little breasts
schoolgirls/not a
foul/ girl Melissa’s daughter?/

The thoughts were staticky because of all the old prints underneath them, but Rae’d been able to make them out.

Her fingers began to shake, and she tightened her grip on the ball. Melissa was her mom’s name. Did one of the men
playing basketball know her mom? Why would someone in
prison
know her mother?

Melissa’s a common name,
she thought.
Don’t be paranoid.
But the other thoughts-the fresh ones she could get-were from right now, about her and Yana. And there weren’t any other girls around. So it had to be her, didn’t it?

“You coming or what?” Yana asked.

“Yeah,” Rae answered. “Just let me give the ball back.” She moved toward the men.

“Look, she’s holding my ball,” one of them yelled, starting a fresh round of comments about Rae’s body and what
they’d like her to do to them. Dogs barking, she lectured herself. They’re just dogs barking.

“I wish I could play with you guys,” she called, getting a big laugh that made her feel scuzzy all over. “I’m not a bad
player.” Rae threw the ball at the closest guy. “My mom must have known I would be decent. She called me Rae-not
a girlie name like hers, Melissa.”

There.
Yeah, maybe she’d sounded like a weirdo, telling them random info about herself. But now whoever had
had that thought would know that she
was
Melissa’s daughter.
That should bring up some more thoughts about me-

if the first thought was even about me.
Which it probably wasn’t. Because who in here-in prison-would know her
mom?
Later I just need to touch the ball again,
she thought, glancing back at Yana and Jon.

“Hey, Voight. I told you to stay close,” Jon barked. Rae happily hurried back over to him and Yana, and they all
started toward the weight-lifting area. Rae kept herself behind Jon so Tony wouldn’t see her. She didn’t want to give
him a heads up.

“Can you tell us anything about any of the weight lifter guys?” Yana asked. “It would be perfect if we could talk to
a couple who had the same kind of background as the women we-”

Jon stopped so abruptly, Rae walked right into him. “Weapon!” he shouted. He reached behind him, grabbed Rae
by the arm, and pulled her up next to him, catching Yana with his free hand.

“Fight, fight, fight,” the prisoners began to chant. A cluster of men had formed around the weight area. Two guards
each armed with a drawn stun Taser pushed their way through.

“It’ll be over in a second,” Jon said. “We drill for situations like this all the time.”

Rae nodded, even though she could hear the tension in his voice, feel it in his grip on her arm. Tony Fascinelli was
in that group somewhere. Was he in the fight or-An alarm bell began to shriek. Almost instantaneously the men fell into ragged lines. The guards began marching
them back inside. Within moments the yard was empty-except for four guards and two prisoners, now restrained.

One of them was Anthony’s father. His eyes flicked to Rae as he was escorted off the yard. Flicked to her, then away,
fast. She didn’t have time to read his expression.

“We’ll wait here for another minute. Just until the men are secured in their cells again,” Jon said. “You two will have
to get your interviews another time.”

“That’s okay,” Rae answered. “I think we have enough.”

“Are you sure?” Yana asked, her blue eyes concerned.

Rae nodded. All she was collecting was negative info about Anthony’s father. What was the point of trying to find
out more? Clearly she wouldn’t be doing Anthony any favors.

The alarm bell abruptly cut off. Jon released Rae and Yana. “Come on. Tour’s over. I’ll take you back to the
warden’s office.”

Just get us out of here,
Rae thought as they headed back across the yard. Then out of the corner of her eye she
caught a spot of orange. “I’ll grab the basketball,” she said. She trotted over and scooped it up without waiting for
Jon’s response. /Aaron’s going down/heart-shaped butt on blondie
score
Melissa in group/

Rae moved her fingers back to the last thought. She did a gentle sweep, hoping for more.
/ Rae born while Melissa

in group?/

Rae froze. The Melissa
was
her mother. Rae
was
the girl.

Cold little mouse feet ran up and down her back as she touched the spot on the ball. The fear was partly her own
but partly the man who’d left the thoughts, too. What had he been afraid of? Afraid of Rae’s mother? The group-whatever it was?

“You can leave it there,” Jon called.

Rae rolled the ball between her fingertips, searching for anything more, but there was nothing else about Melissa.

Or Rae. She let go of the ball and watched it bounce across the basketball court.

“Come on. I want to get you two out of here,” Jon said. “The place always gets a little more intense after an
incident.”

“Is that what that was-an incident?” Yana asked as Rae rejoined her and Jon.

“A minor incident,” Jon answered as he led them inside. “But I’m sorry you were there when it happened.” He
brought them down another puke-green corridor to an elevator, swiped his ID card in the scanner, and waved them
inside when the door opened. “I’m sure the warden will be, too,” he added as the elevator climbed the floors,
smoothly and quickly.

“It was no big thing,” Rae muttered. The elevator door opened, and she saw that the warden had come out to meet
them.

“I saw what happened on the security cameras. You two okay? Shaken up, I bet,” he answered for them. He turned
to Jon. “Take them to the changing rooms so they can get back into their own clothes, then bring them down to my
office.”

“Will do,” Jon said. “This way, Voight and Savari.” He gave a smile that showed his long dimples as they started
down the hall. “Or I guess I can start calling you Rae and Yana again since your time as prisoners of Scott State is
over.”

Another guard rounded the corner and headed their way. “You should see what I took off Fascinelli,” he said to
Jon.

“Could I see it?” Rae blurted out. “I, uh, we have a section on prison weapons in our paper.”

Jon and the other guard exchanged a look. Jon paused, narrowing his eyes. “I don’t know if I should-”

“You can hold on to it,” Yana cut in. “Can we just get a glimpse?”

Jon frowned, then finally shrugged. “I guess it’s okay.”

The guard pulled a knife out of his belt. It was obviously homemade. The handle was several layers of thick
cardboard, and the blade looked like a piece of scrap metal that had been banged into a point.

“We do searches all the time to make sure everyone’s clean, but we find stuff like this all the time,” Jon admitted.

Rae stepped closer, then reached out and traced the cardboard handle with her finger. Her stomach began
pumping out acid, and sour bile splashed into the back of her throat as a burst of fury roared through her. /h ate t
he/no t go i ng to tak e/ jab it in/jab it in/

“What-” Rae cleared her throat, tasting the bile again. “The man who had this-what was he in prison for?”

“He killed a woman during an armed robbery,” the guard holding the knife answered.

Rae’s whole body turned to ice. Anthony’s father was a murderer.

Anthony ran his fingers over the dashboard of the car.
If I was Rae, I might be able to get some clue about what’s