Trust in Me (2 page)

She meant to just walk over to the back room, but because she was a masochist, she just had to look out the front window. Had to steal a glimpse across the small street to the sporting goods store. It was three, after all, and she knew he’d be there. Locke’s break, timed like a Swiss watch. Even before what had happened between them in the summer, he spent his breaks staring out the window, observing the small-town comings and goings, as if measuring whether the ebb and flow of human traffic would come his way. He probably had better knowledge of who went where on Main Street than all the busybodies in Shaky Jakes combined.

Or, he used to.

Ever since that night in his cabin, he’d been watching her shop instead. Waiting for her to look out and find him. She knew he was giving her the space she demanded, but she could see his patience was wearing thin.

His steely gaze coursed over her hungrily, as if he couldn’t help but drink her in the only way she allowed. He looked as tired as she felt, the rugged lines on his tanned face having gotten deeper somehow. Strain pulled at the corners of his mouth, and she could almost hear the pull of cotton as his shirt tightened at his shoulders.

One nod from her and he’d be there in her store. Any sign at all that she’d accept him and he’d come. Every day, he waited for it.

Every day, she forced herself to turn away.

He doesn’t deserve the baggage you’re hauling, girl.

But in three days…in three days, he might just get it.

She stared, fear inching its way up her spine, desire and exhaustion warring with it for space. How easy it would be to let Locke help her. He’d hold her if she asked. Offer his strength and his warmth without question. And it would be wonderful. More than wonderful.

Until she needed room to breathe…

Locke didn’t know how to do anything halfway. That just wasn’t the kind of man she knew him to be. He wasn’t offering her a warm body to hold on to, sex to satisfy but not fulfill. He wanted everything—someone to give his heart to, someone who could give her heart in return. Her soul. He didn’t understand. She didn’t have anything left to give away.

I should have met you first.

If only she had. There wouldn’t be so many cracked and broken pieces of her to try holding on to…

“Exactly how long am I supposed to keep playing dumb here?”

Susie jumped at the quietly exasperated sound of Amanda’s voice from the other side of the counter. Locke leaned forward, trying to see what threat had scared her. She shook her head, meaning only to assure him nothing was wrong, but that wasn’t how he took it. He straightened, his lips tight at the perceived rejection, but his eyes reminded her he wasn’t letting go. Then he turned and headed back into the depths of his store.

Susie sighed, her heart aching as he disappeared from sight. She swallowed, forcing herself to face Amanda as if nothing had happened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were playing.”

“Cute. But I’m serious. How much longer do you think I’m going to just stand by and watch you twist my brother—not to mention yourself—into knots?”

It’d be nice if she could dismiss Amanda’s concerns with an airy wave or a sarcastic laugh, but one glance and Susie could tell it wasn’t going to fly. As Jackmans went, Amanda was probably the most reasonable, but get a bone in her craw and she could be as resolute as Locke. Given the unblinking stare and the downward curve of Amanda’s normally very pretty mouth, Susie knew the bone wasn’t only in her craw, it was about to get shoved up someone’s ass.

God, she just didn’t have the energy for this.

Shoulders slumping, Susie closed her eyes and gave in to a different kind of inevitable. “Another couple of days, Mandy.”

“Days? Susie, come on, what difference do a few days make? Can’t you see what this is doing to the two of you? Locke hardly speaks to anyone these days—”

If anything could have made her laugh right then that would have been it. “Honey, your brother doesn’t talk to
anyone
if he can help it.” And yet everyone in town always knew exactly what he meant. Especially her.

“Stop trying to be funny. This isn’t funny anymore, Susie.”

She hadn’t been aware it ever had been. “It’s also not your business.”

“That might have shut me down three months ago when I thought the two of you were going to work out whatever happened between you, but it’s clear you’re not. He’s my brother and you’re my best friend. I can’t keep letting you tear each other apart.”

“We’re not—”

“No? You’re a stressed-out mess who can’t concentrate and has taken cookie tossing to Olympic-training levels, and he’s hardly sleeping or eating anymore. The only thing he does do is wait for you to call him. Which you won’t do. That’s not Locke. He’s turning himself inside out, Susie, and I know he’s doing it for you. You need to talk to him.”

Susie brought her hand up to her aching temple. She didn’t need this, even if Amanda was right. “I will, I just…
can’t
yet.”

Can’t tell him. Can’t face him. Can’t give him what he needs, what he deserves.

“You mean you
won’t
.”

Yes, she did.

“Three more days, Mandy. Please. I just need three more days.”

The quiet between them stretched long and loud, but finally Amanda gave in. “Fine. Three days. But if you don’t talk to him by then, I’ll do it for you.”

Susie could only nod, drag herself to the glorified lawn chair and close her eyes as her body sank into the sagging cushions. If a few tears fell, hot and splashing down her cheeks, well, she decided not to notice them.

The options, Locke Jackman decided in yet another moment of grim dissatisfaction, were not plentiful. He could count the money for the evening bank drop—again. He could clean the stock—again—in the hopes that the elder twins would come home early enough to have dinner with him—which was just depressing.

Or he could go home and soak up the silence. And the dark. Lots of dark in the house these days. No one leaving lights on as they passed because they were all such pansies they couldn’t admit they were afraid. No one wrestling out their arguments. Even the clanking of weights from the basement would be welcome some nights. But no. Instead the utter silence of the house rang in his ears like an air-raid siren until he hated being in there at all. Not even his work in the Boathouse took his mind off the quiet. With the elder twins off doing only God knew what—they were beside themselves with their newfound “freedom” now that they were living in the apartment above the store—even this place was starting to echo with the same quiet.

His hands tightened on the thick blue bag with the day’s earnings inside.

I won’t think about her.

A failed hope, since obviously, he already was. That was the problem with all the damn quiet. No noise meant no distraction, and no distraction meant no way to keep his mind from traveling to familiar memories of a statuesque brunette who smelled like flowers and felt like heaven…with a tongue like hell itself.

That thought should not make you happy.

But it did.

Sure she was caustic when she felt like it, but he’d always enjoyed women with spirit. Strong women who weren’t afraid of him or their own thoughts and opinions. He had brothers for those rare times he felt the need to tell someone else what to think. Susie would go toe to toe with him over anything if the topic was important enough. Usually…

That’s what was killing him. All the time she’d been in Rancho del Cielo, she never balked at facing him. Seemed to enjoy it even, though he had picked up a touch of surprise every time. As if she couldn’t believe she’d just done it. That had charmed him, even though she’d been slowly twisting his nerves, his libido and his self-control into knots. All three were frayed through these days. Because when Susie looked at him now, it was with trepidation. Fear, from the one person he never expected it. That hurt almost as much as her rejection. Rejection he couldn’t bring himself to accept, not when she watched him with a hunger he could feel on his skin and deep in his own belly.

Need, he concluded, was an evil bitch. And it had both him and Susie in a tight grasp. The question was, could either of them get out of it?

An even better one—did she want to?

Because despite all the confusion and gut-wrenching separation, he didn’t. All he wanted was more. More of her voice, more of her scent, her vitality. He missed her, damn it. Even before she’d come to his bed, she’d at least been there for him to talk to. Argue with. Hell, just sit next to, both of them pretending to ignore how badly they wanted to touch. He never imagined he’d look back on that sensation longingly, but that’s the situation he was in. Wishing he could just get close enough to her again to imagine touching her.

It’d be pathetic if he gave a damn what anyone thought. Anyone but Susie, anyway. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the first clue what she was thinking. Or how he could find out.

The bell from the front of the store startled him out of his thoughts, thank God. Another couple minutes and he might have had to slap himself. Again.

He turned away from the register in the middle of the room, surprised to see his sister’s fair hair as she poked her face in the door. “Mandy?”

“Oh good, I didn’t miss you.” Her keys jangled as she pulled them from the door. “I was afraid the elder twins were the ones in here.”

He frowned. “You need something?”

There it was, the twist of her mouth that was half grimace, half sheepish grin. When she was five, it meant she’d just done something she wasn’t supposed to. Nowadays, it meant she was about to.

“Whatever you’re up to, Mandy, I don’t want any part of it.” He’d done all the scheming he was capable of to get her with Cole, the guy she’d been nuts about since she was a kid. And he’d more than learned his lesson about it, too. Which was specifically why he limited his opinion-control options to his brothers. Grown women, it seemed, didn’t like being told what to think. Or do. Or feel. They didn’t much like “helpful suggestions” either, but he was a man, not a saint. Better to keep himself from the temptation to do what needed doing by not knowing the first thing about the situation.

“I’m not up to anything. Not really—”

“Bye, Mandy.”

“I just need someone strong, okay? I’m not asking you to commit a cardinal sin. I just knew the twins wouldn’t help, but if
you
were here…”

Any of their brothers would gladly give a limb if Mandy asked it of them, which meant— “Susie?”

The guilty grin widened.

“No.” He turned back toward the register. Yup, definitely counting the money bag again.

“Come on, Locke. You don’t even know what I’m asking for help with.”

“I know she doesn’t want me there.” That was
all
he needed to know.

“She won’t even know you were there. Please, Locke, I really
need
you.”

He stopped, holding in a sigh. He was really starting to hate that word. “What’s going on?”

“Susie’s asleep on the changing-room couch. She’s been kinda sick, and you know her, she doesn’t rest like she should. I let her sleep all afternoon, but I can’t get her to wake up, and I have to meet Cole in an hour for that thing with his mother he doesn’t want to go to…” She kept talking, but he stopped listening around the time she said she couldn’t get Susie to wake up. By the time she caught up with him, he was already at the door of Susie’s lingerie shop, about to stalk in and find out what was wrong.

“Locke, wait, geez.” Amanda managed to get in front of him, her hands on his chest to slow him to a stop. “She’s okay, just ran herself down, and she’s sleeping like a brick. I can’t get her upstairs by myself and I can’t leave her down here. If you could carry her up to her apartment I’d feel better about leaving her alone.”

He ground his teeth. Amanda’s logic was sound, but he wasn’t dumb enough to think his little sister wasn’t taking advantage of the opportunity. The question was, was he bastard enough to go along with it?

Amanda put on her pleading face.

Susie would tear him a new one when she woke up to find him holding her. “How sick has she been?”

The pleading look flashed into a satisfied grin, but like the smart woman she was, Amanda didn’t gloat. “Not emergency-room sick, if that’s what you’re worried about. She’ll be fine if she can just get some sleep and maybe eat a little more. All the extra work to keep up with orders is running her down. If she’d just give herself a chance to really recover, but you know Susie…”

Why did she say that with that hint of innuendo?

She lowered her voice to a whisper. “If we just stay quiet, I bet she won’t even know you were here.”

Yes, because he was so known for his chatter.

Amanda must have gathered his sarcasm from his face because she zipped her lip and led the way to the back of the store. Past the red-velvet curtain and to the woman curled up on a couch, practically in a ball. You’d never know she was a hair under six feet tall with her body tucked so protectively into itself. She hadn’t slept that way in his bed up at the cabin. Then, she’d been loose-limbed and molded around him.

What are you so afraid of, baby?

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask, but Amanda was too close and too curious, so he bit the words back and bent low to slip his arms beneath her. She moaned, rolling into his chest, nuzzling her face into his throat as he stood. Like ivy, her arms slid around his neck and she sighed his name.

Balm and torment, all in one.

How could she keep pushing him away when she was obviously so pleased to have him there?

More important, how the hell was he supposed to let her go now that she was back in his arms?

Chapter Two

The smell of something mouthwatering tugged at her senses. Sleep, thick and heavy, still held her tight, but Susie could feel herself grudgingly rising out of the dreamlessness. She groaned, absolutely not wanting to go. She loved sleep. She
needed
sleep.
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep.
But the richer the scent, the more her body pulled at her to wake the hell up.