Trust (16 page)

Letting out an uneasy breath, the tension and anger drained from my body. What was the point? “I
want
to go home.”

“Home isn’t an option anymore, Gwen
,” he growled as he released me, pushing himself away, and turned his back to me. “You’re going to fucking ruin everything.” The last comment was said so softly I doubted it was meant for me to hear it. Walking to the center of the room, Lance laced his fingers behind his neck and stretched his head from side to side. “Such a fucking bad idea…”

I had so
many thoughts and emotions running through me, I couldn’t think straight. What in the hell was I going to ruin? He wasn’t the prisoner. Taking a few steps toward him, I stopped a couple of feet from his back, unsure what to do next.

“I’m sorry.”

“Baby, I appreciate that, but you have no idea what you’re apologizing for. I know you’re just saying it to smooth things over.”

Taking a couple of steps toward him, until I was directly behind him, I placed a hand on his upper arm. “Tell me what I did wrong. You can’t blame me for being upset. They’ve taken everything from me and hurt everyone I love.”

He looked down at me, catching my gaze. “And you have to accept that and move on. You have to close the door to the past and look to the future.”

“The future of being a slave.”

“You don’t know what the future holds, neither do I, but what I do know is the people you had in your life before arriving here won’t be in it.”

“Don’t you know how hard that is for me?”

“My mother was taken from me. I’ve lost friends. I know loss, baby.” For a brief moment I saw the pain in his blue eyes, it was so intense it was like a jab to the stomach, but as quickly as it appeared it was gone and his eyes became cold again. “But screaming about it at the top of my lungs to the people responsible isn’t going to make things better. That’s behavior that gets people killed.”

A frown creased
my brow. I knew he was trying to tell me something, but my mind was so damned fucked up I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what he was getting at. “I don’t –”

“Play your role
, Gwen, and give yourself to the process, that’s your only option.”

“But
–”

He turned fully to look directly at me. “You don’t have to forget them, but you need to accept they’re no longer and will never be a part of your life again.”

“What if I can’t?”

“You can and you must. It’s the only option.” Just when I thought I was going to lose myself in another bout of tears he took me into his arms, pulling me tight. “You’re not alone. I’d hope you’d have realized that by now. We’ll get through.”

“I don’t know if I can ever be happy knowing that for the remainder of my life I’ll be a captive here.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.” I didn’t even hesitate, I did. He’d proven himself over and over again. I may not understand him or his motives, but I trusted him and knew he’d protect me. It was the only thing I knew for certain.

“Then trust me when I say one day you’ll be happy again. It may not be today or tomorrow, but one day
, Gwen. Until then, play your role and worry about one person only.”

“Myself.”

He nodded, a hint of a smile curving up the corners of his lips. “Exactly.”

Chapter 17

“I like it when you smile.” Seeing him smile tended to set me at ease no matter how upset I was and invoke
d other feelings. It was like a ray of sunshine peeking through the darkened clouds after a storm, signalling to me everything was all right.

He cocked a brow up at me, his smile widening. “Is that so?”

Catching my lower lip between my teeth, I nodded, a hint of a smile spreading across my lips as well. One smile and one tiny look of affection in his gaze was all that was needed for every worry to evaporate from my mind. The world, my worries; everything gone, all that existed was the little bubble that surrounded us, protecting me from the hurt and pain. In those few blessed minutes, the world was okay.

He brushed the back of his hand along my cheek, then hooked his index finger under my chin tilting my face up and lowered his lips to mine. His kiss was feather light, but the contact was enough to make my tummy do a little flip flop of anticipation.

Slipping my arms around him, I held myself close to him. Why was I fighting with him? He was my everything in this fucked-up, horrid place. Why would I sabotage myself and risk losing my only good thing? I didn’t have time to ponder it because his lips came down onto mine again, but this time with such intensity and passion it left me breathless, my heart thumping in my chest.

Clutching to the front of his shirt, I welcomed
his teasing nips and probing tongue, inviting him in. As I moaned softly, his tongue slipped past my parted lips to caress mine. My fists tightened around his cotton shirt as we lowered ourselves to the sofa. As his hard body covered mine, settling between my legs, for the first time since I arrived at the compound I cursed having clothing covering my body.

Holding himself over me he pulled his lips from mine and stared down at me, his thumb caressing my cheek and tracing my lower lip. “I was so worried about you. All I could think about was getting back here to protect you.”

I felt the trembling of tears… again. I’d never cried so much in my life as I had while I was here. How much could a person possibly cry in the span of a few weeks anyhow? If there was a limit I swore I was getting close to hitting it. The extremes of intense emotions I’d been experiencing over the past few weeks – fear, humiliation, anger, guilt, but also gratitude and affection – kept me on edge nearly every moment of every day. My emotions were a volatile rollercoaster that threatened to derail at any moment, but thanks to Lance I remained tethered to the tracks.

I laugh
ed softly. “You’re going to make me cry again.”

Lance smiled as he brushed a strand of hair from my face. “I’m not sure how I feel about you beginning to cry minutes before I remove your clothing and use my lips to explore every inch of your stunning body.”

Laughing outright, I slipped my arms around his neck and pulled him down to me, brushing my lips along the side of his neck. He groaned and his body tensed, his shaft beginning to form an erection against my pelvis. I wiggled under him as an ache began to develop between my legs, demanding I feel more of him.

“Being here with you gone was some of the worst days of my life,” I whispered, my lips grazing his earlobe.

He groaned again and pulled up, ghosting his lips across mine. “You’ll never have to worry about me leaving you again.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I teased, nipping his lower lip and sucking it between my lips before releasing him.

“I never make promises I can’t keep.” His voice was so sure and so convincing I froze under him. When I looked up into his eyes, I knew it was true. How he planned on keeping that promise I didn’t know, but as his lips crashed down onto mine and a hand slipped under the t-shirt he’d given me to cover my breast all thought escaped me and I became a slave to the sensations rushing through me.

Lance palmed my left breast, pinching the nipple until it was a tight pebble, sending little jolts of pleasure through me, increasing my need.
My hands grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and began to push it up his body.

Removing his lips from mine, he sat back on his heels
, grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head, tossing it to the floor. He was about to stretch out over me again, but I placed the palm of my hand on his chest, stopping him.

“What’s wrong?” Lance asked, giving me a quizzical look.

Propping myself up with one arm so I could get a better look at him, I began to trace the lines of muscle, my eyes feasting on his body. “I’ve never seen someone built so well before,” I whispered more to myself than to him. “It’s like those marble statues at the museum.”

A hoot of laughter escaped him. “Statues
, huh?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Like those Greek gods. Amazing.” He didn’t respond, but continued to look down at me. The heat in his gaze challenged my curiosity and need to explore his body.

My index finger circled a small round scar on his lower right side. “What’s that from?”

“I was shot.”

My eyes lifted to meet his. “Ohmygod. When? What happened?”

“About a year ago. I had a little tussle with someone who didn’t like a deal I was setting up.”

“So they shot you?”

“Pretty much.” He said it so carelessly, as if people got shot every day and it was no big deal.

“Rather extreme if you ask me.”

“I deal with a lot of extreme people
, baby.” Our gazes locked and I hoped he’d elaborate – he didn’t and I didn’t want to push him. I was confident he’d tell me when he was ready.

I noticed his erection was rock solid and straining against his jeans
; no doubt it was testing every bit of resolve he had to keep from devouring me like I knew he wanted to. I was tempted to finish my exploration later, but then I noticed two more round scars similar to the one at his side, those two near his right shoulder.

“Also bullet wounds?”

“Yes.”

“Can I ask you a question?” It was something that had been nagging at me since I’d pointed the gun at him.

A soft, sexy smirk curled the corners of his lips. “I suspect even if I said no you’d ask anyhow.”

“Have you really killed people?”

His smile faded as he slowly nodded his head. It should have scared me and maybe it was wishful thinking, but I felt in my heart of hearts that each life he took had a reason behind it.

“How many people?”

Lance’s expression turned to the blank slate it normally did when my questions entered a taboo conversational area. “More than I would have liked.”

My eyes lowered from his and went back to watching my finger travel the hard lines of his abdominal muscles. “Did they deserve it?”

“I wouldn’t have killed them if they hadn’t.”

“Do you feel bad about it?”

“No.” His voice was so cold and disconnected that my gaze jerked back up to meet his and I knew it was true. He had no remorse for the people he’d killed. I wished I could understand him. He wasn’t devoid of emotions as much as I knew he attempted to keep them locked away. I felt his caring and affection. But it seemed like he had a way of switching the emotions off when needed.

“How can you do it?”

He cocked his head to the side, eyeing me. “Do what?”

“Shut down and not feel
.” I sat up completely and placed a line of kisses along his collarbone. “I know you have feelings for me, I see it when you look at me, but there’s times when you just…”

He hooked his index finger under my chin, lifting my gaze. “There’s a time
and place for emotion Gwen. Three years is a long time not to allow myself to feel anything, but it’s necessary in this environment. It’s dangerous caring for you, but the feelings you’ve roused in me are intense and addicting; I doubt I could shut them off if I wanted to. You’re more addicting than crack to me.”

My breath hitched in my throat as I saw the rawness of the emotion in his eyes. I’d never had anyone look at me in such a way, like I was the most precious and prized thing in his life – maybe I was. He’d kill for me. He’d risk everything for me, even his life. I knew this without a doubt. The realization both scared and excited me, and made my heart feel like it was going to explode through my chest. It was at that moment that I knew, regardless of whether we were here or in the world outside of these walls, I couldn’t live without him.

This relationship was fucked up and maybe it was toxic, the feelings flowing between us amplified by intense circumstances. I was drowning in him and didn’t want to be saved.

“I love you.” The words flew effortlessly from my lips
, before I could stop them.

His lips parted and then snapped shut again. His eyes searched mine, scrutinizing every inch of my face. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it Gwen.”

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” The silence that overtook the room was deafening.

I closed my eyes and cursed myself for opening my big mouth. Why did I keep doing such dumb shit?

“Stand up.” Getting up from the sofa, he extended his hand. Opening my eyes, I took his hand and allowed him to pull me to my feet. Once up he undid his jeans and let them drop to the floor, then kicked them off and to the side; his boxer briefs came next. “Hands above your head.”

I slowly raised my hands above my head,
my eyes glued to his, hoping to get an indication of what he was thinking. Once again he was unreadable.

Grabbing the bottom of my borrowed t-shirt he pulled it up and over my head, tossing it onto the growing heap of clothing on the floor next to us. Hooking his thumbs into the waistband of the boxers he tugged them down so they puddled at my feet,
leaving me naked before him.

Reaching out, Lance’s hand grasped my neck
, squeezing gently. Any normal woman, under normal circumstances, may have been frightened at the look of possession that became etched in his expression and flared in his eyes, but I wasn’t. In fact, I was feeling just the opposite; my pussy began to throb and wetness pooled uncomfortably between my legs.

I
let out a ragged breath, flattening my palms on his broad chest, but not pushing him away. “I’m yours, Master,” I whispered.

“I’m not your master, love.
How can I be your master when your control over me is so strong I’d give anything and everything for you?”

I didn’t have a chance to answer as his lips came crashing down on mine, as his hands slipped to the back of my thighs and he lifted me up onto his hips. As I wrapped my
legs around his waist, I remembered his injured rib, but it didn’t seem to affect him as he strode across the living room, taking me into the bedroom.

Once we reached the bed, we went tumbling onto it, his body over mine. As my back hit the mattress I wiggled under him
. His cock was rock solid and taunting me, sliding back and forth between my wet pussy lips. I needed him in me.

“Soon,” he said. His voice was so laced with desire I trembled. Soon wasn’t quick enough
– I needed him now. 

Standing up, he towered over me as I laid on the bed, staring up at him with bright, lust
-filled blue eyes. Grabbing my ankles he flipped me over, grabbed my hips and pulled me to the foot of the bed, positioning me on all fours before him.

Slipping two fingers
into my slit he stroked me from my tight back entrance to my clit and back again. I groaned and lowered my chest to the mattress, presenting myself to him, hoping to entice him and end my wait.

“So beautifully wet,” he said, as two fingers slipped into my needy core.

Moaning softly, I started to rock back and forth, fucking his fingers. “Yes. Always for you.” I could barely believe how wanton this man made me.

“
Mmmm. Nice.” As his fingers fucked me, stroking my inner wall, his free hand began to work my clit, pinching it between his fingertips and sending waves of pleasure and need through me. My moans grew louder and more frequent as I rode his fingers faster and harder.

“I need you
r cock. Oh Lance, please.” Despite my plea the desire within me continued to burn, burning hotter and more intense by the second. My fingers fisted the sheet under me as I came closer and closer. Just when my body was about to explode Lance removed his fingers from me.

I groaned my frustration as I looked over my shoulder at him and caught his gaze as he licked my juices from his fingertips. “Dammit Lance. Please. I need to come so bad.”

“Patience, pet.” His voice was satiny smooth, sending a shiver down my spine.

“I can’t wait.”

“You can.”

Leaning over me, he kissed my back, between my shoulder blades. His lips proceeded to
leave a string of kisses down my spine until he reached my lower back. When he fell to his knees behind me, spread my ass cheeks and ran his tongue along the length of my slit I groaned out my frustration. He licked the length of me a second time, and when he sucked each of my labia between his lips I nearly came undone.

When his tongue thrust into me I buried my face into the blanket and endured the sweet torture, rocking back against his mouth and probing tongue. Time seemed to stand still as I rapidly climbed the summit of my desire until I was teetering on the edge. The second his fingers began to stroke my clit in time with his tongue’s thrusts I came undone. I screamed out as I hit my climax, my pussy convulsing around his tongue as I buried my face into the blankets to muffle the sound.