Trouble finding Blondie (28 page)

“You are welcome.”

“I hope you didn’t forget my Margherita pizza and Caesar salad.”

“They refused, I’m afraid. They said their reputation is VIP. Those didn’t make the cut.”

“I surrender. Between the view and the martini, I will happily put up with your gourmet crap.”

“You practically live in five star restaurants, and it’s such a waste on you. Life is not fair.”

“Cheers! Let’s drink to that late discovery.”

The sunset colors were changing every minute. It seemed like a never ending photo opportunity. Simona was sipping her red wine, enjoying the silence. Jada finally noticed that she was being unusually quiet.

“So, any breakthroughs you would like to confess to?”

“I figured out my lesson, Jada. I know why I’m put into this situation…”

Jada was getting curious by her serious tone, giving Simona her undivided attention.

“....I needed to figure out compassion.”

“Compassion for what? For whom? And why?”

Simona hesitated, and Jada was fully intrigued.
“Spill your sins. This is a magical place of Mother Nature. No better place to dump some shit than in this canyon.”

“They are not mine. I just carried them.”

Jada was completely lost. She used every ounce of her discipline to keep calm instead of showing her true emotions of eager curiosity. She was not a nosy person, but this was like solving a puzzle. The puzzle was her best friend.

“Andre had an affair while we were still together.”

“What? How? Wait. What now?”

“Why is it so shocking? You had him for a saint?”

“No, no. Back up a little. Define affair.”

“He had an online relationship with another woman.”

“Oh, like some platonic bullshit? You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“No, Jada. It wasn’t platonic. And it wasn’t bullshit. I have never said that to anyone, but he built a relationship with someone that he met in Prague on one of his trips. He continued the affair for months online while we were together.”
Jada needed to process that information, staring at the Colorado River at the bottom of the canyon.

“Is that the same woman who he said to you in the end ‘I met someone’?”

“I can only assume so...”

“Wait. You have never confronted him?”

“No. I knew something was off. My intuition is always right. I guess I didn’t want to believe it. Made excuses for it, and instead of obsessing about it, I focused my energy on being busy.”

“Was it at the same time as you were going through the divorce and moving out, selling your real estate, and getting your book published?”

“Precisely. Plenty to keep me busy, occupy my mind, and neglect him, I guess.”

“Oh, please. Let’s not do this. Stop justifying his fucked up actions.”

“I’m not. I’m not defending him or making excuses for him. It’s just a recap.”

“Ok, so how do you know?”

“I read their conversations on WhatsApp. Months’ worth…”

“What? I’m sorry…”

“I’m not. That justified me keeping the baby. When he was in Europe and finally said something, I kicked it into final gear.”

“Why did you not say anything?”

“I told you about what he said, and why I was leaving...”

“Yes. But I thought you were crazy. I didn’t know it was justified.”

“That didn’t matter. You were there for me regardless.”

“How about now? When you had that talk? You never told him?”

“No. I was hoping he would come clean...”

“He didn’t. I’m sorry, Simo.”

“Me too. I’m just not sure if it’s him being a coward or trying to protect me in his twisted version. Or simply being afraid.”

“Well, clearly it was just a muse, and he went to look for you.”

“No, Jada. It wasn’t. He really loved her. She was a younger, better, prettier version of me.”

“What? You know who she is?”

“I know everything about her. A whole seventeen pages of her life, all the way to the criminal background check.”

“How? You hired a PI?”

“No, don’t be silly. I’m the Iron Curtain revolution generation, remember? All my friends are in very high powerful positions in Prague now. It was one phone call. I only wanted her phone number…”

“...and you got more than you bargained for.”

“Something like that.”

“Wait. But you would never go into his computer. I know you.”

“He left for Europe. It took me three days staring at his IPAD. He forgot it’s synchronized with his phone and computer. He was always paranoid about covering his tracks from his previous lives, but I guess he relaxed with me, knowing my moral boundaries and respect for privacy.”

“How did you get over that?”

“A two hour therapy session.”

“Shit. I’m really sorry. I had no idea.”

“I had no time for drama, Jada. Two days later I found out I was pregnant.”

“Holy shit. I need more alcohol for this discussion. I can’t believe you didn’t lose it. How about throwing it into his face? Wait. How did you get him to confess then?”

“I told him what I truly felt. That I’m so in tune with him, that I knew he had not been happy for months, that the disconnection was not just the long distance. I said I was starting a new life. I didn’t want him to waste my time or his...”

“And that’s when he said…'I met someone?’”

“I guess I was so raw, calm, and honest that it inspired him and he was vulnerable. I think he regretted that, right after he hung up. But it was out, and it was my ticket out, too.”

“How long did you have?”

“Four weeks. I kept communicating with him - texting and emails only so that he wouldn’t get suspicious and come back earlier.”

“Holy shit. Where was I?”

“You were there, and you were wonderful. You were the only soul I told about leaving. I didn’t even tell Ashley until months later when I wrote her a letter.”

“You have to tell him. Otherwise it’s going to eat you alive.”

“If I tell him, then it’s only for my ego’s satisfaction. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m not sure if he’s a man of integrity and character. It wasn’t just the betrayal of an affair. He took sacred things from our relationship to another woman.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Jada said, truly speechless.
 

“There is nothing you can say. I just don’t want this in me anymore. I have never said it out loud, and by doing so, it won’t have any powers of shame or pain. At least I hope.”

“Are you sure he loved her?”

“Yes. He was building dreams, taking our nicknames, our favorite things, planning a trip. I even compared dates. He was writing love letters to both of us at the same time.”

“I think I’m going to throw up your fancy VIP dinner.”

“I have never loved anyone like him, Jada. I wouldn’t have been strong enough to leave if it wasn’t as brutal as this.”

“You mean if you get fucked, then it’s all the way?”

“I guess that’s one way of putting it.”

“He is a sociopath. With no remorse, no shame.”

“Yeah, I have been there, too. Read three psychology books on that subject. And voila. I’m here, having my AHA moment and my humbling lesson.”

“Oh my God, you can’t be serious. You think this is why you needed your lesson? Being in a situation of loving two people at the same time?”

“How else do you explain it? Isn’t it for me to find compassion and understanding? Understand how someone gets into, and feels stuck, in a love triangle?”

“That is not the same thing. You didn’t stab anyone in the back. You didn’t take, mix, or even compare the two relationships. And you sure as hell are not doing it behind the other person’s back.”

“Ok, but maybe because I know how it feels, I wouldn’t inflict that kind of pain on people that I love. I wouldn’t play a cruel game with their hearts. Maybe it’s thanks to my painful experience.”

“No, Simo. It’s not because of your experience. It’s because of your character.”

“What does that mean, Jada? That he is evil, and he can’t change?”

“No. I kinda get him, actually. You had a baggage: two kids and an ex-husband that hated him, she didn’t. It was an easy way out. In his eyes, it was you in a different package. A step-up.”

“So, why is he here?”

“That’s a discussion you need to have with him…”

The flight back was an unforgettable experience from mountain tops to flying low to the bottom of the canyon with huge cliffs on both sides. The sun was setting, the colors were brilliant, and the rock formations were breathtaking. Jim, the pilot, was truly amazing. His flying skills were impressive, but his funny, entertaining personality made him memorable.

16

"BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS SOMEONE WHO PISSED HER OFF."

SIMONA WAS COMFORTABLY sitting in her cushy chair in a cozy Four Seasons bathrobe - the ultimate three C’s: cushy, cozy, and comfortable. After Jada’s truth serum and her own confession, she finally felt at peace. The inside turmoil was gone, and her fears vanished. She was sipping coffee, watching the sunrise over Manhattan. She texted Andre to ask when he had time for a private conversation on Skype. He was back in Paris, and she assumed that it would be easier later on, when Francois was asleep. He called her right away. She was happy to see Francois. He was so excited that he constantly wanted to touch Simona and was trying to jump into the computer screen. It became an overwhelming issue, and he was getting more and more frustrated. Andre agreed to better call her back at 8 PM when they could talk. That gave Simona two hours. She put her sneakers on and hit the streets of Manhattan. The amazing city that never sleeps.

She walked for over an hour and stopped at three churches on her way. She felt energized, happy, and uplifted. It was the right amount of endorphins and serotonin for her to be strong, vulnerable, yet optimistic.

When the phone rang, she was showered, back in her three C’s and ready to talk. After exchanging updates from the two continents and reports on well being of their precious miracle, Simona finally said, “You know those three words that every man dreads hearing?”

“Including you?”

“Yes, me included.”

“Honey, WNTT?”
“Yes. We Need To Talk.”

“I’m all ears. Ready. Shoot me.”
“You mean shoot at me?”

“Am I going to be begging in the end, ‘shoot me now?’”

“Haha… who knows?”

“Ok, it sounds serious. Let me get a glass of wine, hold on.”

Simona was laughing, rolling her eyes. Andre came back and sat down on the carpet, his back leaning against the couch.

“Comfortable enough, your Highness?”

“Yes, all yours.”

“Andre, we need to come clean.”

“We? ...and what about?”

“Vinciane.”

Andre was visibly shocked and thrown off. Simona was expecting the reaction and didn’t have the ‘got you’ look. It was simply empathy. Andre felt compassion from her, not an attack. He didn’t try to hide his sadness.

“How long have you known?”

“A long time...”

“I knew you knew. You gave me so many chances to fix it...”

“Andre, I knew something was off. But I didn’t know you had a double life.”

“I swear nothing happened before I left for Europe...”

“That’s not true, Andre. I read months of your conversations on WhatsApp.”

Another shock wave went through Andre’s face.
 

“You have known all this for two years? You knew this when I told you, ‘I met someone?’”

“Yes.”

It was a three letter answer that didn’t need embellishment. It carried the weight of it all.

“Simona, I’m so sorry...”

“Andre, I want to know. Why?”

“I have asked myself that question too many times over.”
“You didn’t let me finish. My question is, why didn’t you stay with her? Your obstacle - ME - was gone. You loved her. Why not take the clean slate with no baggage?”

“She wasn’t you. It just took me a little longer to figure it out. And by the time I did, you were gone.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just your ego? You wanted what you couldn’t have?”

“The void was too big to take, the pain too great to admit. It wasn’t just my failure, my ego. I lost my lover, my partner, and my best friend. I lost everything.”

Andre took a sip of his wine. Simona was watching his transformation, wondering if it was remorse she was witnessing.

“I have a question for you,” he finally said.

“Go on…”

“Why not throw it in my face? Why not confront me?”

“Back then? Or now?”

“I guess both.”

“Back then, it was a roller coaster. I didn’t have time to process. I found out you were building dreams with someone else when our dream of having a baby came true. I felt you chose your destiny with your actions. Now, I was hoping you changed and you wanted to have a second chance built on integrity and honesty.”