Tribulation (22 page)

He couldn’t
believe he hadn’t noticed earlier but his attention had been
captivated by her face and all the features he knew and remembered.
His conscious mind had simply ignored the fact that she was
slightly illuminated in the darkness. He’d failed to notice the
silver armor and the sword belted at her waist. And, of course, he
hadn’t been able to see the wings arching over her back - feathery
wings, whiter than anything he’d ever seen before.

He staggered
back from her, uncertain and confused, and crouched on the carpet,
panting like he’d just run several miles. “What …” he managed to
croak.

She stood
before him, radiant and beautiful, so beautiful it made his heart
ache. He’d never seen her look so stunning before. She’d been
sixteen when the Rapture had taken her and didn’t look like she’d
aged a day. He guessed people didn’t really age in Heaven. And not
only that. She was happy. Content. Just looking at her made him
want to cry with happiness. Not that he could, but he needed to
vent his feelings and confusion somehow.

Aimi smiled at
him reassuringly. She hadn’t moved from where she stood beside the
bed. This time, when she spoke, the words came from her mouth.

“I know this is
hard to understand, Sam, but I’ll explain everything. It’s going to
be ok.” She beamed at him again, erasing some of his doubts, easing
the swirling sense of panic fluttering in his breast. As she sat
down on the side of the bed she turned her sideways to him,
revealing the true extent of her wings. She patted the place next
to her. “Come and sit with me.”

Without knowing
that he was moving, he was suddenly next to her. Her hand was in
his and the feeling brought back a rush of warm memories. She used
to do this when they were younger. Almost without him being aware,
her hand would find its way into his. The feeling was almost as
satisfying as the kiss they’d just shared.

They faced each
other in silence, faces only inches apart, the only light coming
from the faint glow of her body.

“I … I thought
I’d never see you again …” he began.

Aimi put one
delicate finger on his lips to silence him. “Hush. There are things
that need to be said and little time to say them. As usual.” She
paused for breath, her eyes locked to his. He finally realized what
was different with her eyes. They had silver flecks in them, flecks
that he’d never noticed before.

She smiled in a
disarming fashion. “This should be fairly obvious to you – well, to
anyone really – but I’m no longer what you might call human. Sam.
My Sunshine. I’m an angel.”

Sam knew it. Of
course she was. How could she not be? The questions swirling around
his head were not what but how.

She nodded as
if hearing his thoughts, which apparently she could. “I was
chosen,” she said. “Few are. In fact, none have been for thousands
of years. Gabriel said that the war on Hell has taken its toll on
the Angelic ranks though. They needed more.”

“Why you?” Sam
managed to ask.

“Because,
apparently, I’m pure.” She rolled her eyes theatrically. “A pure
soul. Uncontaminated by greed, hatred and other undesirable human
traits. I tried to argue but they said that’s what someone who was
pure would do. There was no reasoning with them. They were adamant,
and what am I in the face of angelic determination? I relented, of
course - with one condition.”

“What was
that?” Sam asked, knowing in his heart what the answer would
be.

She smiled at
him, the movement sending streaking arcs of lightning through his
cerebral cortex, directly wired to the pleasure centers in his
brain. “That I’d get to visit you from time to time, of course.
Silly.”

Sam didn’t know
whether to laugh or cry. From time to time? What on Heaven and
Earth did that mean? Would he only get to see her occasionally,
when the hierarchy that existed in Heaven determined her every
movement? He suppressed his frustration, feeling suddenly
ungrateful and unworthy. What was he complaining about? He had her
here and now, with him. How shallow and selfish must he appear? As
Aimi seemed to have the same basic mind reading skill that he had,
he tried desperately to shield his mind, like he would from another
demon.

And at that
moment, he determined that he would change, make Aimi proud of him.
No longer would he be subject to his baser temperament. He could
control it. He would control it. He shouldn’t have to shield his
mind from her. She was part of who he was. She had made him the man
he was today.

He let go of
the shield around his mind and relaxed, letting Aimi see the
confusion and frustration ebb away. He could see that she sensed
it, too, smiling at him again.

“How often?” he
asked, seeking to keep the desperation out of his voice.

She tilted her
head, a delicate gesture he remembered fondly. “When my duties
allow.”

“What duties?”
He was intrigued.

“All angels
have duties. Some are assigned to watch over certain individuals.
Guardian angels, if you will.”

“Are you one of
those?” he asked eagerly. “If you are, you could get assigned to
me. Then …”

Aimi held up a
hand to stop the torrent of excited words pouring from his mouth.
“No, Sam. I know. It’s what I wanted too. What I asked for, in
fact. I was refused. Guardian angels are often much more senior
than I. I’m far too junior and inexperienced for such a
responsibility. Besides, you already have a Guardian Angel. Of
sorts.”

Sam breathed
out heavily, determined to keep his promise and control his
frustration. “You’re talking about Gabriel.”

“Yes. I’ve been
told that Gabriel is much too busy to act as a Guardian angel for
anyone, but she made an exception for you. She likes to keep an eye
on you.” She paused again and met his eye once more. Sam could
detect no emotion from her at all. Was she jealous? Of him and
Gabriel? Impossible! Not Aimi. Not his Aimi who was the nicest
person he’d ever met in his life. No wonder she’d been chosen as an
angel. If she wasn’t worthy, then no human was!

“It’s not like
I see her very often. In fact, I haven’t seen her for years.”

It was true.
The last time they’d had any contact with her was just before he
ventured into Hell to rescue Grace. She wasn’t envious, though. As
she listened, Aimi’s mind opened to him like a flower in the sun.
The only emotion Sam could perceive was love. Love for him.

“So what is
your role, then?” he asked.

“I act as a
messenger. Sometimes, I have to pass on messages between the
Grigori and Heaven; occasionally between Heaven and Hell but that
doesn’t happen very often. I’m also assigned to report on certain
events. There’s more – lots more – going on than you can possibly
imagine.”

Sam smiled
crookedly at her, feeling a little smug. “Oh, I don’t know. I think
I’m fairly well informed at the moment. I know for instance that
the Antichrist and his forces are planning an invasion of the
U.S.”

“Yes.” Aimi
nodded slowly. “We were hoping that this information had filtered
through. But there’s more that I can’t tell you.”

“Rules?” asked
Sam.

“Rules,” she
agreed, smiling wryly at him.

They sat in
comfortable silence for a moment. “So, when did you actually become
all angelic and everything?” he said, trying to keep the
conversation light. He really wanted to kiss her again.

“I don’t really
know. Time doesn’t really seem to well, pass in Heaven. There just
doesn’t seem to be any concept of it.”

“Then how do
you keep track of what’s going on in the real world?”

“I must admit,
it’s difficult. Heaven is such a blissful place that you really
don’t want to be reminded on what your life was back on Earth.” She
stopped when she saw his face fall, and squeezed his hand tightly
in reassurance. “No, I don’t mean that I don’t miss you. It’s just
that it’s hard to look at all the pain and suffering going on in
the world right now when you’re surrounded by perfection. Besides,
even if I wanted to see what was going on, it’s really
difficult.”

This was what
Sam really wanted to know. In the time since he’d been left alone,
had she been watching him? With him in some way? He’d always had
this thought in the back of his mind as his comfort blanket. No
matter how hard things got, it always made him feel slightly better
knowing that Aimi might be watching him.

“Difficult?” he
asked. “Difficult how?”

She frowned.
“It’s hard to explain. It’s like there is a heavy mist between
Heaven and Earth. And it’s not just with your eyes. It’s in your
head, too. It’s hard to focus on the Earth. You only catch glimpses
from time to time, and that’s only when you really focus.”

“Have you seen
me?” he asked.

“Of course,”
she said, smiling. “Only you. There’s no one else that I wanted to
see. But it was hard. I tried to find you sometimes but I couldn’t.
It was as if you’d disappeared or something.”

Sam had
wondered whether his glamor concealed him from angels as well as
demons. Although Aimi hadn’t been an angel at the time, it was
clear that spirits in Heaven had limits.

“I can conceal
myself from demons,” he said. “That might explain it.”

Aimi said, “I
saw Gabriel on a few occasions. Once she even asked if I could find
you, almost as if she couldn’t. Or maybe it was a test to see if I
was fit to be an angel. Who knows?”

“And what about
Hikari?” he asked. He felt guilty not asking about his Sensei and
father figure sooner, but there were just so many questions he
needed answered.

“He’s so
happy.” Aimi smiled brightly. “At peace, like everyone in Heaven. I
see him but not as often as I’d like now that I have duties. He
watches over you, too, when he can. I know he misses you.”

Sam’s heart
surged with pleasure. He felt like crying again. This moment would
be even more perfect if Hikari had been there to share it with
them. “And what did you see, when you did find me?” he said
eventually.

Aimi’s face
twisted in consternation. It hurt him to see such an expression on
her beautiful face. “Pain, mostly. I hated to see you like that. I
wanted to see you but every time I did, I’d only find you
suffering. My heart ached for you at times like that and I would
have given anything to be with you, but as soon as the mist
gathered again, I’d forget. Heaven has that effect. Almost as if
they don’t want you to remember how painful your physical existence
was. I’d see you sometimes when you fought; the conflict that your
heart and mind was going through, the loneliness and anger you felt
...”

Tears were
rolling down her cheeks. He wrapped his arm around her waist and
pulled her even closer. He couldn’t bear the thought of her being
in anguish.

“I didn’t think
angels could cry,” he said playfully, trying to change the
mood.

She laughed and
wiped away the tears.

“So, you’re
allowed to be here. Now?”

“Yes, of
course.” Her eyes darted to the right. He knew her so well he
didn’t have to read her mind. She wasn’t being honest.

“Aren’t angels
meant to always tell the truth?” he asked.

She slapped him
lightly on the arm. “It’s only a tiny white lie. I had to deliver a
message and you were nearby so I thought, why not?” She laughed
happily. “Besides, I’m not all angel. My human side is still
here.”

“Whereabouts?”

“Here,” she
said, pointing at her head and then her heart.

“And where
else?”

Slowly, she
raised her fingers to her lips, never once losing eye contact with
him. She smiled slyly. Sam had never experienced such a delightful
rush of emotion.

They kissed
again and he savored the salty taste of her tears in his mouth.
They were his. The tears were for him. The kiss went on and on and
gradually but inevitably turned into something else. Something
wonderful.

He knew he was
dreaming. He had to be although he hadn’t dreamt in years. You had
to be asleep to dream and he really couldn’t risk it. Meditation
had served him in its stead.

Anyway, dreams
were the lovely happy visions that Aimi talked about. Since he was
a small boy, all he’d ever had was nightmares. There was nothing
lovely or happy about what he saw when he was asleep: flames, pain,
suffering; dark voices whispering to him, urging him to release the
beast within him. He’d always wake from them in a terrified sweat,
screaming, his heart racing, the fear only lessened with the
passage of time, and comfort from Aimi and Hikari.

This time was
different though. There were no flames or pain - only an empty,
featureless plain that stretched on forever. Above him, dark angry
clouds surged. The ground beneath him was cracked and warped,
without color.